BREAKING: Obama Signs Executive Order Opening Machine Gun Registry [APRIL FOOLS PRANK]

In what may be a bid to gain support for his upcoming election, President Obama signed an executive order yesterday re-opening the machine gun registry for new registrations. The registry had been closed since 1986, meaning only machine guns made and registered before 1986 were legal for civilians to own and making those machine guns massively expensive. The move has generally been seen as an affirmation of the President’s belief in the second amendment and a sign of good things to come, but existing machine gun owners seem to be rather pissed off that their investments are now worth considerably less than they paid for them. When asked for comment, one machine gun owner reportedly said “April fools!”


  1. avatar Aaron says:

    Almost had me! Lol!

  2. avatar Rydak says:

    I….I…. Hate you, with every fiber of…my being….

    1. avatar Derek says:


  3. avatar Bill Baldwin says:

    Wait, What? Dammit! Thanks for reminding me.

  4. avatar Dakota Nodland says:

    I…I was almost happy…I was thinking full auto AR-15’s wouldnt be $10,000 for just the lower..

  5. avatar Bruce W. Krafft says:


  6. avatar Amuse Bouche says:

    Thats not funny!

  7. avatar racer88 says:

    Now, that’s just MEAN!

  8. avatar Derek says:

    It’s hard to think of something nasty and hurtful to type when I’m laughing non stop at myself for getting so excited… All I could think while reading that was “Glock 18! Glock 18! Glock 18!” and then… POOF!!

    Don’t judge me. I just woke up after only 5 hours of sleep.

  9. avatar Jack says:

    I was halfway through a Form 1 when the penny dropped.

  10. avatar jkp says:

    That’s as good an April Fool’s joke as the time someone told me that Ronald Reagan signed restrictive gun control legislation both as Governor of California and President of the U.S.!


    1. avatar Tom says:

      But then everyone forgot about it, and hailed him as a hero of gun rights.

  11. avatar Matt in FL says:

    It’s my mom’s birthday, so I’m well aware of the date. However, I’m reading this on my phone, so all I see is headlines, and you got me. For about five seconds. Long enough to get chills.

  12. avatar Tom says:

    The move has generally been seen as an affirmation of the President’s belief in the second amendment and a sign of good things to come,

    and in other news, Jesus has returned to Earth with Elvis and they plan on having a Religous Rock Concert at the National Mall. Jesus has stated that the attendance will be large as the dead have been raised and transformed with new bodies so that they may enjoy the Rock Concert performed by Elvis.

    1. avatar jkp says:

      OMG! ZOMBIES!!!

  13. avatar JOE MATAFOME says:

    You had from the start and now I’m hoping that it really happens.

  14. avatar Milsurp collector says:

    My heart skipped a couple of beats reading this ’til I got to the bottom. A clever April fools joke indeed.

  15. avatar Ben Eli says:

    I came to the website just to see what y’all did this year. Not bad, not bad at all.

  16. avatar Aharon says:

    While reading the post, I wondered briefly why MSNBC didn’t splash the story across their site condemning the action. BTW, it is symbolically funny watching Obama sign new laws with his Left hand.

  17. avatar Mike in NC says:

    Just came across another April Fools posting…

    GLOCK Announces New Full Size .45 ACP Pistol

    And before you ask, the existence of a CTD blog is NOT the joke.

    1. avatar Nick Leghorn says:

      Damnit! Beat me to the punchline…

  18. avatar Darren says:

    They could raise the transfer tax to $2000 for full-auto machineguns and make a relatively quick $200 million (100,000 new registrations x 2000). Heck, they might even make more, I would buy a CNC machine and dump out HK auto-sears as fast as I could make them.

    And with regard to the original topic…Leghorn, you magnificent bastage…I was about to speed-dial the local Class III guy and reserve a registered AR-15 lower.

  19. avatar Ralph says:

    Yeah, and Rush Limbaugh is dating Malia Obama.

  20. avatar Phil J says:

    Not cool. Seriously excited and now seriously depressed. I hate this day.

  21. avatar Levi B says:

    Funny thing is, if he did, I’d actually consider voting for him.

    As it stands, I’m actively supporting the opposite outcome.

    1. avatar James says:

      Single issue voting: The antithesis of an informed electorate.

      1. avatar Bruce W. Krafft says:

        L. Neil Smith on the subject:

        People accuse me of being a single-issue writer, a single- issue thinker, and a single- issue voter, but it isn’t true. What I’ve chosen, in a world where there’s never enough time and energy, is to focus on the one political issue which most clearly and unmistakably demonstrates what any politician—or political philosophy—is made of, right down to the creamy liquid center.

        Make no mistake: all politicians—even those ostensibly on the side of guns and gun ownership—hate the issue and anyone, like me, who insists on bringing it up. They hate it because it’s an X-ray machine. It’s a Vulcan mind-meld. It’s the ultimate test to which any politician—or political philosophy—can be put.

        If a politician isn’t perfectly comfortable with the idea of his average constituent, any man, woman, or responsible child, walking into a hardware store and paying cash—for any rifle, shotgun, handgun, machinegun, anything—without producing ID or signing one scrap of paper, he isn’t your friend no matter what he tells you.

      2. avatar Darren says:

        When the single issue speaks to a variety of philosophical issues, such as the meaning of individual freedom, adherence to the written Constitution, the relationship of the individual to the government, the proper scope of government regulation and others, a single issue can often draw useful ideological differences for voters.

        There is more there than you appear to think there is, James. Sometimes simple solutions are the best.

  22. avatar Matt G. says:

    Meh. Too obvious. I knew it was fools as soon as I read the title. You gotta be more subtle than that.

  23. avatar Blinky Pete says:

    God dammit. I would have written him a thank you note.

  24. avatar Moving Target says:

    I just joined the growing list of morons who thought for a moment that this was real.

  25. avatar C.S says:

    This was in exceedingly poor taste.

  26. avatar JB says:

    Damn, I fell for it hard. 🙁 That was just mean.

  27. avatar Moonshine7102 says:

    I swallowed the hook on this one. Nick, you really can be a bastard sometimes.

  28. avatar Derek says:

    Reading this on the 4/2… You suck and I hate you.

    Seriously, good April fools though.

  29. avatar Micah says:

    Wow. You actually DID have me. But i read this way after April Fools, so it was just cruel.

  30. avatar Wendell says:

    there was NO way I would had believe this from a anti-gun president…….nice try!

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