OMG OMG! It’s a Rifle! Wait! Yeah, it’s a Rifle! OMG!

It’s not like Rochester, New York doesn’t get much precipitation. I have a brother who went to the U of R and I think the lake effect snow that buries that town each year was measured in garbage plates rather than inches. And the days don’t get any less gray or wet there just because winter eases into spring. Which makes today’s campus lockdown at the Rochester Institute of Technology so curious. reports that “According to a message posted on the RITNews Twitter feed shortly thereafter, a bus driver on campus had reported what he thought was person with rifle. But the police investigation later determined the object in question was an umbrella with a samurai sword handle.” Which looks nothing whatsoever like a rifle. Come on people. Vigilance is all very nice, but underoo-soiling panic at the sight of any long dark object is pathetic. That is all.


  1. avatar Chris Dumm says:

    Has hoplophobia gone amok? I never thought that an umbrella sighting could cause a civil disturbance, and I carried a billy club in an unbrella wrapper for a few years at college in Cleveland once I learned how crime-ridden the campus was.

  2. avatar HSR47 says:

    A friend of mine at RIT posted about this a few times the other day.

    Either this has happened before, or the campus t-shirt gurus are fast.

  3. avatar Longtime Lurker says:


  4. avatar cameron says:

    rofl, this exact same thing happened at the Burlington Mall in MA a few months ago.

  5. avatar Bill Fletcher says:

    I’ve got nothing against umbrellas used for sport but these assault umbrellas shouldn’t be allowed.

  6. avatar Rabbi says:

    The person reporting it should be arrested for outlandish sheepism and stupidity.

    I graduated from RIT in 86. At that time, the “security” was unarmed. No guns and no umbrellas.

  7. avatar Silver says:

    I loathe government intrusion and law-making run-amok, but if you can get in trouble for yelling “fire” in a theater, then people have to start being charged with harassment or improper use of 911 in these cases.

    How come if some drooling moron in a Starbucks calls the police on me because I’m carrying and I have to waste time with the police showing that yes, it’s legal, does it get filed under, “Oh, this guy was just scared.” Bull. If some idiot decides he wants to harass me or anyone else going about their lawful business, then he should be slapped with a citation. Maybe then he’ll learn about the laws before soiling himself and sobbing into his latte. And he’ll learn he can’t just cry for his government mommy when another citizen is doing something he doesn’t like.

    But then people might be hesitant to call 911 with valid suspicions, you might say? No, people would just have to start using common sense.

  8. avatar Ralph says:

    people would just have to start using common sense

    Common sense is uncommon among sheep, whether they have four legs or two.

  9. avatar Mr. Lion says:

    Exactly why the re-normalization of firearms in society should be everyone’s top priority.

    1. avatar bloodyspartan says:

      It should be the Re-normalization of weapons, not just firearms.
      , The right of the People to Keep and Bear Arms shall not be infringed.

      This just does not include guns.

      Knives , Swords etc.

      Howard Clark Katana’s

      Someday in the future it just might be light sabers and Plasma Weapons IE The Weapon shops of Isher.

  10. avatar Aharon says:

    We must have a campus ban on umbrellas and all other weapons that look and open similar to umbrellas.

  11. avatar GS650G says:

    When i was a kid I had an umbrella with a plastic gun for a handle. I think it was a Batman / penguin sort of prop. I’d get tasered and hooked up for sure if I carried that on a bus in Rochester.

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