Our agent called. Your life insurance was approved
You only have one shot at this… make it count!
And the most bizarre challenge yet on Top Shot is up next…
“Marriage is a duel to the death, which no man of honour should decline.”
-G.K. Chesterton, Manalive
Stand right there until I get up the aisle!
This is my special day. You’re gonna marry me, and you’re gonna like it.
I’ll show you why to buy the cow when the milk’s free.
“Til death do us part.
‘Til Death Do Us Part.
Ah…he beat me to it.
Does this dress make me look fat? SAY IT! SAY IT!
It’s your honeymoon, no going off half cocked!
Sorry, dear, but you really should have insisted I sign that pre-nup.
Cold feet? I’ll give you hot lead if you don’t get out there mister!
I spent good money on that bridesmaid dress and you WILL wear it!
The couple chose to exchange their own vows….
“I don’t care if you have a softball game to go to!”
“Four rules? What four rules, dear? I *fully intend* on shooting you!”
“I demand satisfaction. No one says my wedding dress looks cheap. NO ONE!”
Before the wedding, the bride had a heart-to-heart talk with the ladies who wanted the groom to marry them instead.
-or, as Loretta Lynn said:
“You ain’t woman enough to take my man.”
What part of “No Prenup” dont you understand…
What part of “There will be no crying” did you not understand?
Do they speak english is ‘what?’ huh, do they?
Do I look fat in the dress? Do I? Do I?
“You slept with my bride’s maid last night?!”
“Repeat after me – I do.”
remember that prenup you made me sign?
Mine can still go pop.
“What do you mean, ‘The wedding is off.’? We are getting married and now, Mister!”
Someone spoke now and she pulled her piece. I’ve always wondered why I’ve never heard anyone object when the pastor said that.
“Keep that thing away from me”
For some reason, when the minister asked if anyone objected, no one did.
The father of the bride forgot his gun, but, the bride brought a backup.
I told you not to smear that cake on me and I MEAN IT!
When the moron in the Incendiary Image of the Day post chickened out, his bride took over.
You want me to suck what???? Oh no sir, we are MARRIED now!
A FREE wedding dress for your daughter with the purchase of a $500 black powder pistol. Just imagine all the money you’ll save (and actually keep) when it’s time to marry her off and you have to pay for a bridal gown costing thou$ands. Such a deal!
“I really do love you, James, but my country must come first.”
“If anyone has any objections, speak now and forever rest in peace.”
…Until death do us part.
Why yes, I do know what wearing white implies. Now stand still while I show you for what exactly you were being “groomed.”
“You listen to me mister , now that w’ere married , I AM in charge , and I don’t want your damn mother over here telling me how and what to make as your favorite meals ,GOT IT ?!
What do you mean, you didn’t put film in the camera!!@??
After a recent same-sex marriage in Boston a woman turned to her new spouse and said “No, I changed my mind. You are going to be the bottom and I’ll be the Top”.
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