So you’ve had your fill of flipping burgers for the minimum wage after four years of drinking beer and hooking up busting your butt in college? That sociology degree didn’t prove to be the path to riches, fame and glory your admissions advisor told you it would be? That’s OK. Uncle Sam can always use you. With wars and kinetic military actions seemingly breaking out weekly, there’s always a need for willing, able-bodied yoots who know how to handle a gun in America’s military, right? Well no, not any more…
That’s right. The military’s shrinking its ranks. Just when it would appear to the average hopelessly logic-bound voting unit that we’d need more qualified soldiers, sailors and airmen given an ever-expanding need to defend the country, there’s now a waiting list to get in.
See, we have this budget problem. And you have to cut somewhere, right? There are so many other priorities that are much more important right now. Think about it for a minute.
There’s the Department of Homeland Security and its most visible and vital component, the TSA. And we have green energy jobs to create. Not to mention that whole healthcare nationalization thingy that’s already proving to be such a success. Oh, and don’t forget our friends at BATFE. Who will keep us safe from illegal guns if they’re not pounding the pavement?
We’re in the process of winning the future here. We have so many other, more immediate priorities for our scarce resources. We can’t blow it all on defending the country. Besides, there’s an election coming up and a base to shore up.
So if you’re one of those still living in your parents’ basement cranking out resumes or you’re stuck slinging hash for tips, get your application to your favorite branch of the military now. It may be a while before you can serve your country. In the mean time, have you thought about moving to Washington, DC?