CDC Zombie Info Forgoes Firearms


“There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for,” the Center for Disease Control assures. “Take a zombie apocalypse for example. That’s right, I said z-o-m-b-i-e a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e. You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency.” Geddit? We’re the CDC and we have a sense of humor! All in a good cause; to help spread a serious message about preparedness. Yeah? Well, I’ve got a semi-serious question for the CDC: what about guns and ammo? Their four-step plan says nothing about eliminating the undead threat. And in the same way, what about firearms in a real emergency? Of course, that would be a little much for the CDC, whose anti-gun stance is well-known. So a word in your ear guys: AR. Red dot. Head shots. Spare mags. Real emergency? .22 So now you know.


  1. avatar CUJO THE DOG OF WAR says:

    Now we’re talking! Make sure to have the machete ready as you reload-just in case. And if you get bit…sorry dude… Now, where’s Mila Jovovich?

  2. avatar CUJO THE DOG OF WAR says:

    Just finished the training film “Flight of the Living Dead.” Now to watch “Night of the Living Democrats.”

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      “Now to watch ‘Night of the Living Democrats.’”

      I started to watch it, but it was just too frightening. So I turned on “Night of the Living Republicans” and fell asleep out of boredom.

      1. avatar CUJO THE DOG OF WAR says:


        1. avatar CUJO THE DOG OF WAR says:

          Expanding on the democratic zombies, I have a theory that the violent weather as of late is caused by Al Gore. Furthermore, Gore is actually a mandroid built by a vengeful Jimmy Carter.

  3. avatar CUJO THE DOG OF WAR says:

    Taking a break from such a serious subject to watch “Grizzly Man”, about the hippie who lives among the bears to “protect” them. Then they eat him. Then I laugh my ass off. By the way, there are actual Zombie Hunter patches (and Who Would Jesus Shoot) available if anyone is looking. I put mine on base ball caps.

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      I told him not to feed the bears. Did he listen? Noooooooo.

      1. avatar CUJO THE DOG OF WAR says:


        1. avatar CUJO THE DOG OF WAR says:

          You have to check it out,Ralph. The guy is obviously high, goes on a rampage on film going “F U wildlife control”,etc. One part they interview his parents, who admit he had a drug problem.

  4. avatar Chris Dumm says:

    After all the public attention created by I Am Legend and Zombieland, I’m truly disappointed that he CDC dropped the ball here. We all know they’re anti-gun, but there is no excuse for their failure to even mention zombie defense weapons and tactics.


    1. avatar CUJO THE DOG OF WAR says:

      I know, right?

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