Jeff Foxworthy: You Know You’re A U.S. Sportsman Alliance Sentry When . . .

Your email filter doesn’t block the U.S. Sportsman Alliance‘s “action alerts, news releases, and issue updates.” You proclaim your allegiance to an organization that plays on gun-grabbing paranoia with a constant stream of “us” vs. “them” analysis because the people who pay for your 100,000 square foot McMansion eat that shit up. [Note: not entirely without reason.] Your spinmeister releases a statement supporting said group without using a single contraction: “I am a lifelong sportsman, hunter and fisherman and have a deep respect for conservation and the outdoors. I am glad to be able to help an organization like the USSA that is on the front lines every day defending our rights to be in the field. I encourage every sportsman and woman in this country to join with me and become a Sentry.” And I couldn’t resist this: Foxworthy by name, fox worthy by nature. Try the veal. No wait; vegan sausage. Good night and safe shooting!

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