Jeff Foxworthy: You Know You’re A U.S. Sportsman Alliance Sentry When . . .

Your email filter doesn’t block the U.S. Sportsman Alliance‘s “action alerts, news releases, and issue updates.” You proclaim your allegiance to an organization that plays on gun-grabbing paranoia with a constant stream of “us” vs. “them” analysis because the people who pay for your 100,000 square foot McMansion eat that shit up. [Note: not entirely without reason.] Your spinmeister releases a statement supporting said group without using a single contraction: “I am a lifelong sportsman, hunter and fisherman and have a deep respect for conservation and the outdoors. I am glad to be able to help an organization like the USSA that is on the front lines every day defending our rights to be in the field. I encourage every sportsman and woman in this country to join with me and become a Sentry.” And I couldn’t resist this: Foxworthy by name, fox worthy by nature. Try the veal. No wait; vegan sausage. Good night and safe shooting!

Your email filter doesn’t block the U.S. Sportsman Alliance‘s “action alerts, news releases, and issue updates.” You proclaim your allegiance to an organization that plays on gun-grabbing paranoia with a…