Movie Review: Spectre

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By BK

One of the (few) downsides of being a member of the Armed Intelligencia is that you tend to see through so many of Hollywood’s tricks and tropes. Once you begin your ride as a certified gun nut, you count rounds remaining in magazines/cylinders and wonder how long the bad guy waited for the ATF to approve his Form 4 for that suppressed SBR (spoiler alert: he didn’t). You shake your head when dozens of baddies can’t hit the broadside of barn while the White Hats are all one-shot-one-kill and you wince every time the good guys blithely muzzle each other. Perhaps most egregiously, you grind your teeth to stubby nubs when our hero unnecessarily racks his shotgun over and over. Even for the most die-hard 007 fans among us, the latest James Bond installment, Spectre, will drive you absolutely bonkers . . .

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Anti-Gun Rights Comedienne Amy Schumer Gets Hot and Bothered by Imaginary Zombie Shoot-Out

Amy Schumer and Senator Chuck Schumer (courtesy philly.com)

According to variety.com, comedienne Amy Schemer dreams dreams of “legislation that would expand background checks, including ending a loophole in which firearms can be purchased at gun shows and online without such initial checks.” But when the heat is on, Ms. Schumer dreams of unfettered access to a veritable arsenal of “guns and lasers.” Like this . . .

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.50-Caliber Desert Eagle Vs. a Frozen Turkey

I don’t like turkey much. But I don’t dislike it enough to shoot it with a Desert Eagle. And as a Jew, I always hate to see food go to waste. Still, ’tis the season to shoot stuff and BulletSafe’s point is well made: don’t wear a frozen turkey, pumpkin pie or jug of cider for defense against a maniac shooting a gun designed to pierce a car’s engine block. I wonder if a frozen turkey would stop a .22 or a .45-caliber round? Frozen turkeys are on sale after Thanksgiving, right?

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Which is Faster: DetCord or a .50 Caliber Bullet?

This is not a question that’s been vexing me lately. Well, ever. But I’m a big fan of doing stupid things [safely and] scientifically in the pursuit of facts with no appreciable utility. Call it trivia in action. And let’s face it: anytime you fire a .50 cal is a good time. Full stop. Or not, depending on the backstop. Still, what’s with the X-Box hate? FullMag’s usual shtick: destroying Cupertino’s finest electronic gear. Don’t talk to me about microprocessor speeds and upgrades; Microsoft’s X-Box is so 2001. I’d like FullMag destroy a Flosstime, which not only measures out the perfect amount of floss but keeps blinking for a 90-second floss time. Any other suggestions?

 

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FPSRussia Shoots A House [VIDEO]

Yeah, he blows-up the house. A bit. Yawn. Unless the structure is reduced to rubble, I’m not impressed. I am delighted, however, that FPS decided to sit in the garage in an APC while the structure was semi-destroyed. I don’t know why. I just am. And it’s always good to see Ma Deuce in action. One wonders, however, how Kyle will top this particular stunt – especially as ISIS has done such a great job shooting-up and blowing-up famous shrines and historical buildings. Meanwhile, I feel obliged to share everydaynodaysoff.com‘s observation that FPSRussia destroyed a perfectly good house for Syrian refugees. In Texas.

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AMC’s Into the Badlands Imagines a World Without Guns, But Plenty of Sharp Objects [VIDEO]

“AMC’s new, post-apocalyptic drama, Into the Badlands, premiered last night, and gave anti-gun liberals the world they’ve been clamoring for: one where all firearms have been outlawed,” newsbusters.org reports. “Only, far from the peaceful utopia gun control advocates always promise, the world has instead devolved back into the barbaric, feudal society that dominated much of human history. In the Badlands, you’re either a baron or a slave; there is very little in between.” Quite how a society can develop internal combustion engines without making the “leap” to firearms is a mystery almost as deep as the plot. Which is to say, plenty damn shallow. Still, worth watching? [h/t JA]

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Dan Bilzerian’s Guns Confiscated by LAPD

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Returning to his burglarized Los Angeles mansion from what I’m sure was an epic trip, Dan Bilzerian found that most of his firearms, magazines, and ammunition were missing. What you wouldn’t expect to find is that the burglars weren’t able to penetrate his steel-hardened gun closet, and left the house ballistically empty-handed. Wait, so then who forcibly broke into the closet and stole the guns? Why, the LAPD, of course. . .

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Another Anti-Gun Video [VIDEO NSFW]

SPOILER ALERT Whoa! I didn’t see that one coming! I seriously thought the dark-eyed vixen in this YouTube video was really into guns. I’m not sure of the video’s point – save that you should always rack a handgun with the muzzle facing in a safe direction (if only to avoid unpleasant pinching). According to imfdb.com, the diminutive Lindsay Ames is known for her work on The Vow (2012), A Dad for Christmas (2006) and Sundays at Tiffany’s (2010). Known by whom? Good question. From this day forth, let her be known as the comedian who’s as funny as a hole in your head.

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Incendiary Image of the Day: Jesus Machine Gun, Vagina Rifle and Penis Gun Edition [Images NSFW]

Machine Gun Jesus Gold (courtesy thecreatorsproject.com)

“The gun. It’s as American as apple pie,” DJ Pangburn writes at creators project.com. Originally envisioned by the Founding Fathers as tyranny deterrant, the gun has since become many other things: the criminal’s trusty tool, the hobbyist’s fetish and, depressingly, the police force’s preferred weapon in its dealings with African Americans. And though the NRA and responsible gun owners may point to hunting as a positive use of firearms, the reality is that the gun just can’t seem to outgrow the reason for its invention: ending human life.” Uh, what about protecting human life? Anyway . . .

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50 Cent: Having a Bullet Fragment Embedded in Your Tongue is Great for Oral Sex

It’s interesting to note that rapper 50 Cent reckons the bullet fragment embedded in his tongue is great for oral sex (hence the headline). What amazes me: he correctly uses the word “metaphor” to describe an aspect of his song writing. I suppose I could write something about Fiddy glorifying “gun violence” by treating it so cavalierly, but that would be churlish. Suffice it to say, much of the rapper’s music does that already.

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ICR-1 Assault Rifle: Best Gun in BLACK OPS 3? [VIDEO NSFW]

I don’t know jack about gun games, for one simple reason: I get addicted. I learned this bad in the Paleolithic Era, playing Ace Combat. I couldn’t stop until I’d finished the flight sim  – after a 12-hour stint). And then played it again. And again. Etc. There’s no way I could dedicate 10 hours a day to TTAG and its ancillary businesses if I fired up the console (they still call them consoles, right?). So I’ll leave it to our Armed Intelligentsia to verify or dispute the veracity of HollowPoint’s claim that the ICR-1 is the sh*t (they still say that don’t they?). By the way, we could really use a gun game reviewer. Send a sample to thetruthaboutguns@gmail.com.

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