“The Olmsted County [MN] Sheriff’s Office said Sgt. Jon Jacobson [above, left], 40, was conducting a training exercise Thursday about 8:45 a.m. at the Regional Public Safety Training Center at 2116 Campus Drive Southeast,” kttc.com reports. “Jacobson took control of a .38 caliber revolver with blank ammunition after the training exercise.” To review: Sgt. Jacobson was training officers at the Safety Training Center using Simunitions or suchlike, when he “took control” of a revolver. And what, pray tell, does “take control” mean in this context? Take possession, unload, secure in a safe environment? As if . . .
Sadly, there’s no shortage of photos on the intertubes of people who think snapping a selfie for Facebook while they hold a handgun to their own head is the height of hilarity. Sometimes those photo sessions go poorly. Take, for instance, the case of Eric Zyzanski. Apparently not satisfied pointing something that shoots a small caliber at his cranium, the now former Evanston, Illinois resident grabbed his shotgun. Friends who were there at the time asked him to put the gun down, “but he removed two to three rounds, held the gun to his cheek and told friends it was empty, police said.” . . .
Brannaird Riley’s next door neighbor is a Marine at Cherry Point MCAS, Lance Corporal Marianne Lee. Corporal Lee was packing her belongings for a move back to California when she “tried to make her 9mm pistol safe.” That’s how witn.com sets the stage for what you know is about to follow. But before we get to the ballistic denouement, I’d like to point out that unloading a gun isn’t a particularly intellectually challenging task. Assuming we’re talking about a semi-automatic pistol, you just point the gun in a safe direction, drop the mag, rack the slide, rack the slide again (why not?) and Bob’s your uncle. Oh, and keep your finger off the trigger. Hang on. It seems that Corporal Lee wasn’t making her gun safe after all . . .
Thank you for calling MezmerVision Cable. The estimated wait time before one of our representatives deigns to answer your call is…38 minutes. Please hold the line as we value your business. And then there’s the ever-popular, Our service technician will be there either between 8 and 12 or between 1 and 5. Three weeks later, on the day of your appointment when you’ve taken off work to be there, the cable co.’s subcontracted operator rolls up in a beat-up pickup truck with an unintelligible, indeterminate eastern European accent, smelling vaguely of borscht and unfiltered Camels and knocks on your door…five minutes before the end of the designated four-hour appointment window. We’ve all experienced some version of what passes for customer service in the digital home entertainment provision business. Which probably explains why one Albuquerque Comcast customer, Gloria Baca-Lucero, was in no mood to hear from Boris that he was going to have to charge her to fix her TV pipe . . .
Anyone [left] old enough to remember the National Lampoon magazine cover that warned “Buy this magazine or we’ll kill this dog?” To say it was polarizing would be like saying gun control is a slightly contentious issue. Personally? I thought it was funny. But then it was supposed to be funny. According to nbc-2.com, this image was posted by Floridian Thomas Mcguinness on his Facebook page, along with photos where he points his gun at himself and his dog. They’ve since been removed, obvs. But not before Mr. Mcguinness made a snide remark, further angering a whole lot of people . . .
“Police cited four men Friday for allegedly shooting ‘realistic-looking’ paintball guns at a vehicle,” madison.com reports. “The Madison [WI] Police Department initially received reports of two men shooting assault rifles at a vehicle in front of them while driving Friday afternoon. Officers later made contact with Rayshawn Jackson, Gerald Jones, Marquese Murphy and Keith Binder who told police they were in a consensual paintball gun war with the other vehicle. After searching the men’s vehicle, police found 3 paintball rifles and a paintball handgun. One of the rifles resembled an AR rifle painted in camouflage [not shown but similar]. All four men were cited with misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed, and were released.” The quailing quartet [barely] avoided a Darwin Award but at least they get TTAG IGOTD hardware. How great is that?
“A $250,000 Straight Egyptian Arabian horse [Juno, as above] is fighting to recover after she was struck by a stray bullet fired from a high-powered rifle,” nj.com reports. “Juno, the top breeding mare at Thornewood Farm, had lost ‘a tremendous amount of blood’ by the time co-owner Lisa Cifrese reached her. The white horse had flicked the wound with her tail and ‘like a paintbrush, it was painting her body red.’ The 6-year-old mare was in a pasture near a run-in shed when she was hit. Thornewood attorney John R. Lanza said on July 16 that multiple bullets have since been found that pierced the metal shed wall. Police and private investigations have led authorities to believe that the shooting was accidental.” Correction, the shooting was . . .
Christie Files (above) called the Jacksonville, Florida sheriff Sunday night after her stepson, Bryan Layfield, had been shot and killed. She told the local 5-O that she’d seen two unidentified suspects hopping her back fence after she heard the gunshot. Upon further investigation, however, constables found a bloody .22 rifle stashed in Files’ attic. It didn’t take much longer to determine that, in fact, Layfield had accidentally been shot inside the home . . .
“According to a police report filed in Westborough District Court on Thursday, veteran Worcester police officer William Stout went to his ex-wife’s Shady Lane home on June 17 and began banging on the door, yelling to be let in while yelling profanities,” wcvb.com reports. “The report said his ex-wife would not let him and Stout forced a kitchen window screen in and climbed through the window.” I think you know where this one’s going. . .
“At approximately 3 p.m. Tuesday, police responded to a call regarding a customer dispute at the Enmark on the corner of Park Avenue and North Lee Street,” valdostadailytimes.com reports. “A [Georgia] man carrying a holstered firearm entered the store to make a purchase. Another customer, also with a holstered firearm, approached him and demanded to see his identification and firearms license, according to the Valdosta Police Department report. The customer making demands for ID pulled his firearm from its holster but never pointed it at the other customer, who said he was not obligated to show any permits or identification.” And that was that. Only it wasn’t . . .
Every parent runs into the problem: what to do with your wee bairn if you have to run out unexpectedly. So when John Ruiz of Albuquerque needed an emergency tattoo, he did what he had to do. He took his 11-year-old daughter to the neighborhood pool, gave her a loaded .22 for protection and left her there. A neighborhood mom noticed the girl with the gat and called the local 5-0 . . .
Yup it’s a twofer: a Passively Constructed Negligent Discharge Story of the Day and an Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day all in one. The media part of the story comes to us without the slightest editorial hesitation from fox6now.com, starting with the headline: Gun accidentally discharges inside of Froedtert Hospital, deputy suspended. We’ll get to that unnamed deputy in a mo. “A person with a legal concealed carry permit brought a gun inside of [Milwaukee’s] Froedtert Hospital Friday, June 27th, but when a deputy tried to confiscate the weapon, it accidentally went off.” I guess it wanted to stay with its owner. Some guns are like that. The JRR Tolkein-esquely-named hospital confirms that . . .