BangBang Cinema: Smokin Aces 2 – Assassin’s Ball

When you make a (meager) living watching movies and then writing about them, you see a lot, a lot, a lot of movies. Many of them are crap. Many of those crappy films get crappy sequels. Whether it’s just part of the job or a facet of my masochism, I greedily eat up all the sequels, even to movies I didn’t like. Case in point, Smokin Aces 2, the sequel to the obviously named Smokin Aces, a film which I thought was a jumbled mess of action and, ultimately, a failure on the entertaining front. What I learned from the sequel, and many terrible sequels before it, is that entering the experience with low expectations is a godsend. So, as you may have gleaned, Smokin Aces 2 isn’t good. But how bad is it, really?

(more…)

When you make a (meager) living watching movies and then writing about them, you see a lot, a lot, a lot of movies. Many of them are crap. Many of…

BangBang Cinema: Iron Man 2

Back in 2008, Marvel’s Iron Clad Playboy Tony Stark got a chance to rock and roll on the big screen. Despite a kick-ass rock and roll trailer, there was plenty of reasons to be hesitant. A ton of comic book movies had been bad up to this point. Also, Marvel took charge of their own films, putting a lot on the line. When ol’ Shellhead finally burst onto the screen, his repulsor rays blasted away any lingering doubts. Iron Man was one of the highlights of the year. Fast forward two years and the red and gold soldier carries an even heavier weight upon his shoulders: a highly anticipated sequel.

(more…)

Back in 2008, Marvel’s Iron Clad Playboy Tony Stark got a chance to rock and roll on the big screen. Despite a kick-ass rock and roll trailer, there was plenty…

BangBang Cinema: The Tournament

I’m a sucker for mindless action films.  You put enough bullets and bombs into a ninety-minute spectacle and I’m more than happy to waste my time watching the fireballs. I won’t rake the director over the coals for a few plot holes or some stale characters as long as they substitute ass kicking and violence to spackle that in. The Tournament is one of those films that sits right on the edge, then tips gently into the positive zone. If you’re on the hunt for deep characterization, meaningful dialog, and a deeper understanding of the human condition – keep hunting. If you’re in the mood for people getting kicked in the face, rockets flying around screen and people blindly emptying magazine after magazine, well then, come on in.

(more…)

I’m a sucker for mindless action films.  You put enough bullets and bombs into a ninety-minute spectacle and I’m more than happy to waste my time watching the fireballs. I…

post image

BangBang Cinema: The Losers

I have a very personal relationship with The Losers when it comes to TTAG. You could, without a doubt, say that if this movie didn’t exist at this time and…

post image

BangBang Cinema: Aces ‘n Eights

Is there anything more American than a Western? The open expanse of untamed, lawless country. Self-reliant men [reluctantly] standing up for what’s right. A gun on every hip. And a…

BangBang Cinema: The Hurt Locker

I see a lot of movies in a year. Hell, I probably see more movies in a month than a lot of people do in twelve. But every now and then, one that I should have caught slips past my checkpoint and executes a successful evasion. Such was the case with The Hurt Locker. You’d think a film that won six Academy Awards, including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Original Screenplay, would be immune from my critical eye and TTAG’s weapons handling critique. But you’d be wrong. I don’t care how many awards you’ve won, because there’s no naked gold man statue on my shelf. Okay, so there is, but it isn’t a Hurt Locker Oscar.

(more…)

I see a lot of movies in a year. Hell, I probably see more movies in a month than a lot of people do in twelve. But every now and…

I couldn’t find any recently released firearms fun for my inaugural column. So I dug through some DVD releases and unearthed a quaint little art house film called Bitch Slap. The cover art—boasting a trio of armed, sweaty, dirty women—sets the tone for this politically correct cinematic investigation into feminism’s role in our violent, misogynistic society. As you can imagine, Bitch Slap holds a cherished place in my collection. Based on bad-ass babe boobs. Not politics. Or quality. No, definitely not quality. Bitch Slap is a bit of a mess. A hot, sexy, sexy hot mess. With guns.

(more…)

BangBang Cinema: Bitch Slap

I couldn’t find any recently released firearms fun for my inaugural column. So I dug through some DVD releases and unearthed a quaint little art house film called Bitch Slap….

Two new trailers are making the rounds, and they’re both packing some serious firepower. Tom Cruise has stopped talking to ashtrays long enough to make his way back on the big screen. After taking the 3:10 to Yuma, director James Mangold (really) pairs Cruise with Cameron Diaz. I’m Knight. She’s day. We’re Knight and Day! Super-spy Roy Milner drags unlucky-in-love June Havens into a running gun fight around the world using the old quip pro quo. Oh, and protecting a revolutionary energy source. [ED: geothermal power from the Xenu volcano.] The duo looks set to be upstaged by a wide variety of very pretty, very expensive weapons. How do I love thee? Let me watch the trailer. I spy a Glock 17 (dining), a Sig-Sauer P250 with a laser sight (hood surfing), and twin Heckler & Koch MP7s (dumb blonding). Is that a Beretta 93R fully-automatic pistol in the hands of a bad guy? Not for long. Knight and Day looks like a more entertaining version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, without the billion dollar post-wrap divorce.

(more…)

The Expendables, Knight and Day Trailers Packing Serious Heat

Two new trailers are making the rounds, and they’re both packing some serious firepower. Tom Cruise has stopped talking to ashtrays long enough to make his way back on the…