Beware The Dreaded AR-15 Chainsaw Bayonet

The USA Today chainsaw bayonet

courtesy usatoday.com

The gun gurus at USA Today attempted to explain, for some reason, not only the features of the Ruger AR-15 used by the demented coward responsible for the Texas church massacre, but the “possible modifications” one can make to an AR as well. Including, naturally, the ever-popular chainsaw bayonet.

Wait. What? Yup. This actually happened. See USA Today’s video below, followed by a small sampling of the internet’s hilarious, meme-laden response…

To be fair, chainsaw bayonets do actually exist. I mean, they’re an $800 gag gift movie prop but, much to everyone’s surprise, somebody did really design one and does [attempt to] sell them.

Anyway, on to the memes!…

Edit to add Jeremy’s animated version:Chainsaw_Bayonet_Animation underground tactical

TTAG writer Jon Wayne Taylor implements the ferocious Schnauzerschutzen PMS (possible modification system):

Schnauzerschutzen

comments

  1. avatar Joe R. says:

    dangerous, dangerous stuff, that

  2. avatar pwrserge says:

    Ok… the Adepta Sororitas want their stuff back.

    1. avatar pwrserge says:

      Besides, everyone knows the sword version is way cooler.

  3. avatar TheUnspoken says:

    Ban all of it. No one needs that for hunting. Sporting use only! (Holds up mini 14 with under barrel crossbow and extendable fishing pole attachment)

  4. avatar joetast says:

    Oh shit,. I’m lol, the Kittyhawk, lol.—— Call me a pirate, hijacking — the Geneva convention, what’s the difference, cannon or hollow point?

  5. avatar Ing says:

    The legacy media establishment has become a parody of itself. I would have said it’s beyond parody, but obviously nothing is unparodyable (that’s totally a word).

    I think my favorite one is the blamethrower. It reminds me of Mystery Men.

    1. avatar joetast says:

      I was thinking just yesterday how most action films involve guns, yet most actors denounce them. Samuel L. Jackson pissed me off with that,” just put the gun down” line of,,,,

      1. avatar cruzo1981 says:

        Totally agree. All action movies involve lots and lots of firearms yet Hollywood somehow denounces their use. There are a lot of anti actors.

      2. avatar BigDaveinVT says:

        …and then played in the QT movie “Hateful Eight”.

        Haven’t watched that or any other SLJ movie since his unfortunate comment.

      3. avatar John says:

        Not to mention that Hollywood has exemptions written into California laws so they can use firearms not allowed for the general citizenry. That’s because they’re more responsible, right? Just ask Spacey, and Weinstein.

  6. avatar jwtaylor says:

    The best one is on underground tactical’s IG page.

  7. avatar doesky2 says:

    That ANTIFA/Leftist model will drive a lot of Lefty LQBQTXYZ types into some kind of recursive ABORT/RETRY sequence.

  8. avatar Macofjack says:

    As the old saying goes – STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES! Only a liberal media outlet could come up with this BS!

  9. avatar MamaLiberty says:

    Did you know that it is impossible to eat lunch while rolling around on the floor laughing? LOL I love the corgi attachment, since I love corgis… but the “blame thrower” is the winner by a mile.

    All better now, finishing lunch. 🙂

  10. avatar Paul53 says:

    I guess I’m the only one with an M1A2 Abrams tank attachment.

  11. avatar Noishkel says:

    Personally I just about fell out of my chain when I read ‘San Antonio, Texas’ as an AR modification. XD

    1. avatar Ing says:

      That’s definitely in the running for the best of the bunch.

  12. avatar Shire-man says:

    It’s criminal how these news orgs take advantage of their oblivious and ignorant readers like this.
    Snake oil media is what it is.

  13. avatar Chris says:

    Any of you’s ever play the game Lollipop Chainsaw? So much fun.

    1. avatar Nine says:

      A ‘meh’ game at best.

      The chainsaw reminded me of Gears of War immediately.

      1. avatar BigDaveinVT says:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukrTUqinVjI

        “Fight through the pain!”

      2. avatar Jordan says:

        Same here. The first thing I thought of was also Gears of War. I was actually surprised that it was not more prevalent in the other parts of meme-verse that I visit.

  14. avatar ^Sammy says:

    The ANTIFA Special Edition is the hands down wiener

    1. avatar FedUp says:

      Now that you’ve brought up wieners, I think a Dachshund would be better than a Corgi.

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        Don’t you mean an incarcerated Anthony Weiner taking a nude selfie attachment?

  15. avatar Slow Joe Crow says:

    I think the Antifa model needs a Glock accessory rail version for campus carry.

  16. avatar former water walker says:

    I’d be OK with a tactical nuke😆😎😜

  17. avatar John Boch says:

    From the same rocket surgeon at USA Today who thought orange ear plugs were rubber bullets.

    1. avatar TrappedInCommiefornia says:

      That was outstanding.

  18. avatar Pat says:

    If that’s a full-size F-16 then that is one MASSIVE AR-15.

  19. avatar Andrew Lias says:

    Gotta wonder if this is viral marketing though. If so they have succeeded.

    1. avatar Jeremy S. says:

      Agreed. That was my first thought. I was recently talking with a social media marketing “expert” and he mentioned that being wrong gets you more traffic and engagement. Basically, that it’s a good idea to include something in articles or YouTube videos that’s wrong, as it will cause people to comment in order to correct you, discuss it in the comments, and share it with their friends, etc. I guarantee you USA Today has had more traffic from this than they’ve seen in months. It’s almost too silly and hilarious to be genuine, but it has gone viral like you wouldn’t believe.

  20. avatar fiundagner says:

    I think USA Today may have played a little too much Gears of War

  21. avatar Swarf says:

    The Blamethrower is fantastic.

    I mean, it should be Feinstein, but full points anyway.

  22. avatar strych9 says:

    That’s not half as stupid as the quad-rail muzzle break made of aluminum… (BB&C link, Amazon doesn’t sell ’em any more.)

    God the comments on the Amazon page for this were fucking EPIC.

    http://www.breachbangclear.com/rampant-stupidity-or-tactical-trolling-you-decide/

    1. avatar TheUnspoken says:

      They don’t sell the quad rail brake anymore because they were so bulky, so they switched to keymod. Now the mlok muzzle brake is what the cool kids get. You get lots of ports, unless you fill them with rails. Genius!

    2. avatar Jeremy S. says:

      I actually included that bad boy in the last muzzle brake test: http://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/2016/10/jeremy-s/ar-15-muzzle-brake-shootout-3/

  23. avatar John Thomas says:

    to be fair, the chainsaw bayonet thing falls into roughly the same category of dumb crap youtubers put on an ar to make a video that included bump fire stocks.

  24. avatar Ralph says:

    The Spacey Modification is especially effective against young male soldiers.

  25. avatar racer88 says:

    Don’t know how to post images here.
    Chuck Norris mod:
    https://imgur.com/rzlR1OE

    1. avatar Hugo says:

      I believe the Chuck Norris attachment violates the Geneva Convention. Nobody needs that much Chuck.

  26. avatar Serpent_Vision says:

    Perhaps the stupidest gun accessory ever; it’s going to spray infected zombie blood all over the place.

  27. avatar Hippi says:

    The dilly attachment on the antifa model is on the wrong end and facing the wrong way

  28. avatar Badwolf says:

    The blame launcher is genius!

  29. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Thanks for the great laughs!

  30. avatar Tim says:

    In that last meme the dog isn’t wearing eye or hearing protection! We really have to start taking safety seriously people!

  31. avatar Ansel Hazen says:

    Jon Wayne Taylor has the Schnauzerschutzen PMS attached backwards.

  32. avatar ATFAgentBob says:

    Guess I’m the only one that attached an A10 Wart Hog to the top rail and a Glock brand Glock to the underside rail. The side rails hold a coffee maker and a Minute Man 2 missile…

  33. avatar AZgirl says:

    Nobody should be allowed to carry more than 5 chainsaw bayonettes. Please contact your city council to write a restrictive law about this.

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