Vaginal Concealed Carry Earns Missouri Woman Additional Felony Charge in Illinois

 

Vaginal Carry Earns Extra Charges in Illinois

Deep concealment took on a whole new meaning in McLean County, Illinois on Friday. Police stopped a 20-year-old Missouri woman, Amika Witt (above), for doing 90 on I-55 at 5:00a.m. During the traffic stop, police became suspicious. During a search, cops found heroin in Ms Witt’s bra and Ecstasy in some other unspecified location on her person. But the surprises didn’t stop there.

Later, when corrections staff processed her into the county jail, they discovered a fully loaded Kimber CDP .380 pistol concealed in her vagina.

While one might think vaginal carry would be dangerous (not to mention awfully uncomfortable), it does provide deep concealment. At the same time, it probably doesn’t so much for the gun’s finish.

In fact, there are probably lots of good reasons not to tuck a firearm into any body cavity. Especially a pistol with some sharp edges like the Kimber .380.

As a result of her failed concealment efforts, Ms. Witt now faces a slew of bonus criminal charges.

The Bloomington Pantagraph has the details:

Witt is charged with armed violence for possessing a weapon during the alleged commission of a felony and while in possession of drugs, and possession of a controlled substance with intent to deliver.

A passenger in the car, Clinton McDonald, 29, of Springfield, Mo., was charged with unlawful possession of heroin with intent to deliver the drug, and unlawful possession of Ecstasy.

After Witt was taken to the McLean County jail, a female correctional officer found the Kimber .380 caliber handgun inside the suspect’s body, said Roberts. The gun had a fully loaded magazine and “a bullet in the chamber ready to fire,” said the prosecutor.

Fortunately, Ms. Witt didn’t suffer an accidental discharge in her clandestine pistol-packing. We’d probably name her our irresponsible gun owner of the day, but she has enough to deal with now with all of those felony charges. Just to be safe, though, someone should really remind her of the first rule of gun safety: never point a firearm in an unsafe direction.

 

comments

  1. avatar Mark says:

    Gives a whole new meaning to the term cocked and locked.

    1. avatar Tim says:

      And “20-year-old”? What – in ‘Pluto years’?

      1. avatar Jeremy S. says:

        LOL

      2. avatar J.T. says:

        In heroin years.

    2. avatar BLAMMO says:

      A gun with a beaver tail, of course.

      Let’s see how many more we can come up with.

      1. avatar John Gancho says:

        .380 is a pussy caliber after all

      2. avatar Hank says:

        Mmmm, hotpocket, now with creamy kimber filling.

      3. avatar J says:

        Storage case is “self-cleaning”

      4. avatar Bob says:

        “Accidental Discharge”

        Gross….

    3. Was it in Condition 1? If not, she’s a pussy.

  2. avatar David says:

    I think we found the method of carry where Condition 3 would be preferred!

    1. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

      #1 or #2 (depending on the weapon) is definitely preferable for ‘on body’ carry, #3 is definitely the more prudent condition for ‘off body’ and ‘in body’ carry.

  3. avatar Boba Fett says:

    I think this would be more appropriate as a Vedder Holsters Daily Digest.

    1. avatar LarryinTX says:

      OUCH!!

    2. avatar Rosignol says:

      Winner.

  4. avatar AlanInFL says:

    Gives a new meaning to sweet spot.

    1. avatar Sir Tri says:

      …Or her G-Spot

  5. avatar No one of consequence says:

    Eww!

  6. avatar Justin Case says:

    So it was carried Cocked & Locked with “One in the Pipe”. Oookay, fine…

  7. avatar Koolhed says:

    No holster? Improvise!

  8. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    Who says to themselves as they are leaving the house, “Looks like a good day to hide my pistol in my vagina.”???

    Not only does that seem utterly stupid, it also means your pistol is totally inaccessible if you ever needed it.

    1. avatar jones says:

      no problem, use a squeeze cocker

      1. avatar DaveL says:

        I think you’ve got that backwards.

    2. avatar Hryan says:

      A person like this is not carrying the firearm for protection; they are concealing it until they can trade it for more heroin. She likely put it in her jail pocket when she knew she was being pulled over.

  9. avatar jwm says:

    Appendix carry taken to the next level.

    1. avatar Ing says:

      I’d say she definitely found the G-spot.

      And that chick does not look 20. I’d have given her a hard 30 at the youngest, but she looks closer to 40. That’s what meth will do for a body.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        She’s been rode hard and put up wet.

  10. avatar Ed says:

    Everyone is assuming that is WASN’T inserted grip first! Looks like it could have been a option. Hahaha.

  11. avatar Hoodlum says:

    I’m sorry but if a woman can fit that up there. I doubt a man could satisfy her

    1. avatar jwm says:

      You’ve never seen a woman have a baby, have you.

      1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

        Female Vegan: have you seen an animal being slaughtered?

        Me: yes, many, many times; even done it myself.

        Female Vegan: how can you still eat meat after seeing something like that?!? Seeing it being slaughtered?!?!?

        Me: the same way I can still eat p*ssy even after seeing a baby come out of it… I would think as a woman you could appreciate that quality in a man…

        *Dead silence. End conversation.*

        1. avatar jwm says:

          You are a bad man. Keep at it.

    2. avatar doesky2 says:

      Imagine if she could to fit a hipoint.
      Calling Ron Jeremy!

  12. avatar Vhyrus says:

    You know, with a bit of makeup and maybe some hairstyling I think she would clean up nice.

    1. avatar doesky2 says:

      Yeah it’s a Kimber. Nothing but the best and keeping it classy!

    2. avatar jwm says:

      The pride of her trailer park.

  13. avatar Ralph says:

    A Kimber in her vagina? It’s been done before. I’d be more impressed if she hid an AK up her culo.

    1. avatar anaxis says:

      She might could do it, “one piece at a time”.

      Something tells me she’s been stuffed with junk before; and to keep a Kimber aloft, she’d need a grip that could cave in a lead pipe.

  14. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    One can surmise she was a lose woman. After if not before. We can also guess why Lucy would choose to drive fast on bumpy roads. Besides after her staring roll in fists of fury….

    1. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

      she couldn’t take her eyes off of bruce lee?

  15. avatar Slab Rankle says:

    Stuffing peculiar objects into body cavities isn’t too unusual in this day and age.

    The real question in my mind is why was she doing 90 m.p.h. with all that contraband on board?

    Even a semi-human like her must have realized that it would attract lots of the wrong kind of attention.

    I guess that Kimber was pretty dang uncomfortable.

    Next time try a Glock up there, you dumb cunt!

  16. avatar TwoJohnsonsAreBetterThanOne says:

    If it was inside her body, shouldn’t it be out of government’s reach?

    1. avatar Rusty Chains says:

      So, did the corrections officer go for a full firing grip on the draw?

    2. avatar uncommon_sense says:

      TwoJohnsons,

      Oohhhhh. That is an outstanding point. Which is it government? Is a woman’s body sacred and only her business? Or is it not?

      1. avatar Big Bill says:

        To be fair, it’s the pro-choice people who insist the body belongs to a woman, and she can do anything with it she wants. (I keep saying that she can then walk into a police station, stand in front of the desk sergeant, shoot up some horse, and watch everyone’s reaction.)
        The government just said the relationship between a woman and her doctor is private. (Roe vs Wade)
        HIPPA was supposed to make that perfectly clear.
        Then Obama came along, re-made the medical profession, and threw that out the window.

        Also still out the window is any result from clicking on “Notify me of follow-up comments by email.”

  17. avatar Klaus Von Schmitto says:

    Nice gun! A little Lysol and it would be good to go.

  18. avatar Tom says:

    Is that a retention level II or III holster?

    1. avatar DaveL says:

      I think that’s officially what you’d call “retention level V”.

  19. avatar Alfonso Alfredo Rodriguez says:

    Vaginas are magical, the stretch for ever it seems. I wonder if her boyfriend is a donkey instead of a man.

  20. avatar former water walker says:

    Come again?!? I’m actually surprised going 90 gets you stopped. Just got off I-80 also in Illinois. Lots of lunatics hitting 90with only a rare state bull stop. Did a Kimber keep her LIMBER?😋😋😋😋

  21. avatar JDH says:

    Good thing it wasn’t a Glock or we’d have a new term: Glock Vagina

  22. avatar Weskyvet says:

    Damn Kimber owners are weird.

    1. avatar Jeremy S. says:

      Hahaha

  23. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    her father was a witt. that makes her a half- witt.
    dallas archer’s got nuttin’ on her. or in her.
    if her panties are used as evidence, she’ll be filing an amika’s brief.

  24. avatar Joe mama says:

    Poor gun.

  25. avatar The Rookie says:

    Hmm…beats the heck out of a chastity belt, I guess.

  26. avatar Ralph says:

    Is that a pistol in your vagina or are you just happy to see me?

    1. avatar Weskyvet says:

      Gotta wonder if she hadn’t been caught and her boyfriend had tried to have relations with the pistol still in place which one would’ve been shot…

      Note: you just know they’d be dumb enough to try it.

  27. avatar Joe says:

    One reason to avoid police auctions I guess. (not that Illinois would ever do that)

    Can see some poor sap wondering why someone would dip a Kimber in cosmoline.

    1. avatar Weskyvet says:

      That’d be a fishy purchase.

  28. avatar onespeedbiker says:

    Perhaps this was considered with the Kimber CDP 380 “Melt” treatment; that is “sights and edges are rounded and blended so clothing will not catch.” – Kimber Website. Melting usually implies a little more. Its all to make it less snaggy/easier out of the holster.” I would think making this gun “less snaggy” was much appreciated by the owner.

    1. avatar Weskyvet says:

      If it wasn’t melted before it is now…

  29. avatar JR Pollock says:

    She should have gone with a Taurus Curve….

  30. avatar Jason says:

    I know some women have a problem with vaginal discharge but this is rediculous.

  31. avatar Keystone says:

    1. She’s only 20? Yikes.
    2. That’s a she?

  32. avatar John Galt says:

    Surprised no one is talking about the boyfriend.

    Maybe………..he was carrying the Kimber and needed a quick place to stash it as they were being pulled over………slow rolling stop.

    She may just be a REALLY GOOD Girlfriend!

  33. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    Should we say she is strapped or stuffed….

    1. avatar anaxis says:

      Airtight?

      Nevermind, she can still open her mouth.

  34. avatar Tom says:

    Always knew Kimbers were for Pussys.

  35. avatar ed says:

    She’s only 20? I feel bad for that poor Kimber

  36. avatar dsreno says:

    The best part of this page is the comments. There’s pure gold in here.

    Keep up the good work, everybody.

  37. That must be the new Cooterkote finish.

  38. avatar Wayne says:

    Fishy story in more ways that one. I-55 does not go through Illinois. Only in Missouri. I-57 is in Illinois and joins I-55 at Sikeston Mo. I know, I live in the area. Who came up with this BS???

    1. avatar Clark45 says:

      Ummm… pretty sure I-55 goes through Illinois:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interstate_55_in_Illinois

    2. avatar Mec says:

      Excuse me? You definitely don’t “live in the area”.

    3. avatar 16V says:

      Wayne, 55 goes from somewhere in LA around NO, ending at basically the water’s edge (LSD) in Chicago.

      Perhaps you should get out of your neighborhood occasionally. I live in STL, and have driven it end to end more than once.

  39. avatar Johnston says:

    This is why I don’t like wet suppressors …

  40. avatar LuvsGuns says:

    Does that model have a de-cocker?
    Wonder why she didn’t try a Desert Eagle 50AE?

    1. avatar paul says:

      yeah… her face

  41. avatar Heywood says:

    Cooch Carry, Pros and Cons ?

    1. avatar Kenneth G Maiden says:

      Prison purse carry saves on holster costs. But can be itchy.

  42. avatar Horse Fly says:

    Suspect article.Possession should not constitute an act of violence.Law needs rewritten

  43. avatar Screaming eagle says:

    To everyone saying that must’ve hurt, or anything similar, just look at her. I’d put money on it she could take an m249 with a smile for a 20 piece. That .380 probably accidentally fell in there when she put it on the seat and she didn’t even realize it. Poor girl getting charged for accidentally bringing a firearm in a correctional facility. She would’ve told them if she knew it was in there. If she was smart, she would’ve put the horoine and shit in there too. Lol

  44. avatar Kenneth G Maiden says:

    OMG, just how big is that cavity?
    Why do I think of a USED car salesman?

  45. avatar Odgh Bodkin says:

    How did the MIM parts hold up to that torture test?

  46. avatar johnn108 says:

    Her quick draw must be a true sight to behold.
    Still,
    at least she cared enough to carry quality…

  47. avatar Lilburn says:

    She said is was a full size 1911 when she put it in!

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