Vaginal Carry Earns Extra Charges in Illinois

Deep concealment took on a whole new meaning in McLean County, Illinois on Friday. Police stopped a 20-year-old Missouri woman, Amika Witt (above), for doing 90 on I-55 at 5:00a.m. During the traffic stop, police became suspicious. During a search, cops found heroin in Ms Witt’s bra and Ecstasy in some other unspecified location on her person. But the surprises didn’t stop there.

Later, when corrections staff processed her into the county jail, they discovered a fully loaded Kimber CDP .380 pistol concealed in her vagina.

While one might think vaginal carry would be dangerous (not to mention awfully uncomfortable), it does provide deep concealment. At the same time, it probably doesn’t so much for the gun’s finish.

In fact, there are probably lots of good reasons not to tuck a firearm into any body cavity. Especially a pistol with some sharp edges like the Kimber .380.

As a result of her failed concealment efforts, Ms. Witt now faces a slew of bonus criminal charges.

The Bloomington Pantagraph has the details:

Witt is charged with armed violence for possessing a weapon during the alleged commission of a felony and while in possession of drugs, and possession of a controlled substance with intent to deliver.

A passenger in the car, Clinton McDonald, 29, of Springfield, Mo., was charged with unlawful possession of heroin with intent to deliver the drug, and unlawful possession of Ecstasy.

After Witt was taken to the McLean County jail, a female correctional officer found the Kimber .380 caliber handgun inside the suspect’s body, said Roberts. The gun had a fully loaded magazine and “a bullet in the chamber ready to fire,” said the prosecutor.

Fortunately, Ms. Witt didn’t suffer an accidental discharge in her clandestine pistol-packing. We’d probably name her our irresponsible gun owner of the day, but she has enough to deal with now with all of those felony charges. Just to be safe, though, someone should really remind her of the first rule of gun safety: never point a firearm in an unsafe direction.

 

91 Responses to Vaginal Concealed Carry Earns Missouri Woman Additional Felony Charge in Illinois

    • #1 or #2 (depending on the weapon) is definitely preferable for ‘on body’ carry, #3 is definitely the more prudent condition for ‘off body’ and ‘in body’ carry.

  1. Who says to themselves as they are leaving the house, “Looks like a good day to hide my pistol in my vagina.”???

    Not only does that seem utterly stupid, it also means your pistol is totally inaccessible if you ever needed it.

      • Female Vegan: have you seen an animal being slaughtered?

        Me: yes, many, many times; even done it myself.

        Female Vegan: how can you still eat meat after seeing something like that?!? Seeing it being slaughtered?!?!?

        Me: the same way I can still eat p*ssy even after seeing a baby come out of it… I would think as a woman you could appreciate that quality in a man…

        *Dead silence. End conversation.*

    • She might could do it, “one piece at a time”.

      Something tells me she’s been stuffed with junk before; and to keep a Kimber aloft, she’d need a grip that could cave in a lead pipe.

  2. One can surmise she was a lose woman. After if not before. We can also guess why Lucy would choose to drive fast on bumpy roads. Besides after her staring roll in fists of fury….

  3. Stuffing peculiar objects into body cavities isn’t too unusual in this day and age.

    The real question in my mind is why was she doing 90 m.p.h. with all that contraband on board?

    Even a semi-human like her must have realized that it would attract lots of the wrong kind of attention.

    I guess that Kimber was pretty dang uncomfortable.

    Next time try a Glock up there, you dumb cunt!

    • TwoJohnsons,

      Oohhhhh. That is an outstanding point. Which is it government? Is a woman’s body sacred and only her business? Or is it not?

      • To be fair, it’s the pro-choice people who insist the body belongs to a woman, and she can do anything with it she wants. (I keep saying that she can then walk into a police station, stand in front of the desk sergeant, shoot up some horse, and watch everyone’s reaction.)
        The government just said the relationship between a woman and her doctor is private. (Roe vs Wade)
        HIPPA was supposed to make that perfectly clear.
        Then Obama came along, re-made the medical profession, and threw that out the window.

        Also still out the window is any result from clicking on “Notify me of follow-up comments by email.”

  4. Vaginas are magical, the stretch for ever it seems. I wonder if her boyfriend is a donkey instead of a man.

  5. Come again?!? I’m actually surprised going 90 gets you stopped. Just got off I-80 also in Illinois. Lots of lunatics hitting 90with only a rare state bull stop. Did a Kimber keep her LIMBER?😋😋😋😋

  6. her father was a witt. that makes her a half- witt.
    dallas archer’s got nuttin’ on her. or in her.
    if her panties are used as evidence, she’ll be filing an amika’s brief.

    • Gotta wonder if she hadn’t been caught and her boyfriend had tried to have relations with the pistol still in place which one would’ve been shot…

      Note: you just know they’d be dumb enough to try it.

  7. One reason to avoid police auctions I guess. (not that Illinois would ever do that)

    Can see some poor sap wondering why someone would dip a Kimber in cosmoline.

  8. Perhaps this was considered with the Kimber CDP 380 “Melt” treatment; that is “sights and edges are rounded and blended so clothing will not catch.” – Kimber Website. Melting usually implies a little more. Its all to make it less snaggy/easier out of the holster.” I would think making this gun “less snaggy” was much appreciated by the owner.

  9. Surprised no one is talking about the boyfriend.

    Maybe………..he was carrying the Kimber and needed a quick place to stash it as they were being pulled over………slow rolling stop.

    She may just be a REALLY GOOD Girlfriend!

  10. Fishy story in more ways that one. I-55 does not go through Illinois. Only in Missouri. I-57 is in Illinois and joins I-55 at Sikeston Mo. I know, I live in the area. Who came up with this BS???

  11. To everyone saying that must’ve hurt, or anything similar, just look at her. I’d put money on it she could take an m249 with a smile for a 20 piece. That .380 probably accidentally fell in there when she put it on the seat and she didn’t even realize it. Poor girl getting charged for accidentally bringing a firearm in a correctional facility. She would’ve told them if she knew it was in there. If she was smart, she would’ve put the horoine and shit in there too. Lol

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *