Firearms Concierge: Machine Gun Madness

I was out to lunch [sic] recently when I got a call. Not wanting to deal, I sent it to voicemail and listened to the message. The caller was someone I’d met at the gun club years ago, someone who used me for some transfer and sales transactions over the years. Before I give you the 411, here’s a little life advice for you younger kids: poor people don’t like problems. Rich people REALLY don’t like problems. OK, so . . .

He’d purchased a machine gun — somewhere in the high five to low six figures — from a reputable dealer. The gun shipped to a dealer near him (near me too, but not me).

Initially, my competitor’s business was run well, cutting my margins and eating into my bottom line. They thought they would make millions of dollars in the gun industry $20 at a time. NFA transfer? $20! New allocated item? $25 markup! Accessories? AT COST! We want customers for life!

When business slowed in Q1 the owner took the money, guns and leaves his partners holding the bag (to seek his fortune as a truck driver in the Bakken shale region of North Dakota). They have an 8,000 square foot firearm business without anyone who knows how to fill out a 4473 or do a background check.

The wheels left the wagon in a hurry. The whole place basically shut down and ground to a halt.

As for pending ATF forms, the partners had no clue what cans were for what customer, who’d paid up or who was on lay away. Into this fustercluck arrives a pristine and virginal machine gun. They didn’t even know who it was for.

The machine gun owner eventually goes down to my competitor and demanded some action. So they bang out a Form 4 for him — never having filled out a Form 4 before. The ATF sends the forms back to the dealer due to errors in paperwork. Nobody knows what the problem is. Nothing happens. The ATF’s standard protocol: if the forms aren’t fixed and returned in 30 days they’re automatically rejected.

At this point, well-heeled machine gun guy goes from pissed off to straight-up Howard Beale.

I try to calm him down. I explain that the question isn’t “Can I fix it?” The question is “Can you afford for me to fix it?” I gotta open a file and bill by the hour. I wish I could tell you this doesn’t happen often but this shit happens all the time. And it’s never a simple fix.

Before I hang up the phone, I asked the aspiring machine gunner why he hadn’t called me in the first place. He said the other guys seemed like a bunch of good ol’ boys that didn’t mean him no harm. Their fee seemed reasonable — at the time.

On the way back to work, I stop at my competitor’s place of business and tell them that I’ve been hired (a la Winston Wolf) to fix the full-auto catastrophe they’ve created. I give them a copy of my license and tell them I expect forms to be filed with ATF by close of play. They seem to agree. I tell them to call me if they can’t figure out how to sign their own name. I’ll personally hold their hand as they make their state-legal “X”.

When I got back to my desk, I opened the file and did some thinking. I conclude the following: know what your time is worth. Had I been asked to handle this last year, the owner would have had his gun by now. As it stands now, who knows? All this trouble and expense to save a few bucks.

The next time you buy a gun from a big box store or some online dealer, remember that every gun comes with a business attached. Buying the “right gun” should also mean buying the “right dealer”: a reputable, knowledgeable, responsible businessman. Doing so can save you time, money and, most important of all, aggravation.

FC out.

comments

  1. avatar Mike Betts says:

    Well, don’t leave us HANGING. Did the man ever get his Ma Deuce?

  2. avatar GS650G says:

    Sounds like a fool and his money are soon parted. Another rich person’s problem that’s not mine.

    1. avatar barnbwt says:

      Yeah, like the guys willing to pay a 10% fee on FFL transfers or whatever he was advocating in some previous article (“why charge 20$ for ten minutes and a phone-call, when you could bend your clientelle over a barrel and whisper in their ear ‘who else ya gonna go to?’ like some sleazy loan shark?”)

      1. avatar TrueBornSonofLiberty says:

        Yup. Except the sleaze is not with the guys willing to pay, its with those that charge. I’m a capitalist to the bone, but I can’t get on board with sticking it to folks who find themselves in a desperate situation, especially when the govt is involved. I’ve never had the displeasure, but feel the same way about the bail bondsmen industry.

        1. avatar Josh says:

          The bail bonds industry assumes the risk of something going wrong, vs this guy doesnt have any risk trying to fix the situation. Full disclosure: I work in the bailbonds industry

  3. avatar RogUinta says:

    Maybe he chose to use the other guys because you’re an insufferable ass.

    1. avatar Vhyrus says:

      Can I upvote this? Please?

      TL;DR version: “That’s a nice machine gun transfer ya got there… be a shame if something happened to it…”

    2. avatar gunderpun says:

      That seems to be problem with most of the “writers” on this site.

      1. avatar ActionPhysicalMan says:

        No, FC is special. Maybe it is like professional wrestling and FC is the heel in RFs stable.

        1. avatar IdahoBoy says:

          I’m amused by how he thinks the word “concierge” is an honorific. “Concierge” is French for “gofer”.

        2. avatar Chicago Steve says:

          I hate to say this, but I’m pretty sure there’s rules about gun dealers not using drugs……….it could explain a lot. Has he lied on legal documents, or just looking for attention?????

          According to his twitter:

          Firearm Concierge‏ @FirearmConcierg 9 Jun 2016
          One year clean from meth today. Pretty stoked!

        3. avatar AOP says:

          And FC proudly voted for she who would have taken all our guns.

          Firearm Concierge‏ @FirearmConcierg 8 Nov 2016
          #ImWithHer

          https://twitter.com/FirearmConcierg/status/796063067209662464

    3. avatar RidgeRunner says:

      Brilliance

    4. avatar jackp says:

      ^^^^ bingo

    5. avatar Geoff PR says:

      “Maybe he chose to use the other guys because you’re an insufferable ass.”

      He doesn’t seem to have a problem with a lack of customers.

      Spend some time behind a counter selling guns, and you could relate to the insufferable asssholes that he has to deal with.

      A post by FC puts a smile on my face and a *snicker* in my cold, black, heart… 😉

      1. avatar Dan in CO says:

        Geoff, does he put a smile on your face when he writes an article stating that he voted for the Hill-dog? He stated that he voted for her because it was good for his business. This creature is not your friend.

        1. avatar Hank says:

          Yeah. This dude is no friend to gun rights. A businessman? Sure. But he’s a traitor and a communist. He didn’t just vote for Hitlery. He was *proud* about it and *bragged* about it. He can be proud of his vote and sleazy ways all he wants. I wish upon him the worst fate for any buisnessman ever, to be forced to have to live in a far left democrat run state that will Detroit him into the ground.

        2. avatar barnbwt says:

          Did he ever weigh in on the court case against new-made MGs a few years back, or the new 41F rules? Both are critical to the NFA transfer racket remaining lucre-ative.

        3. avatar Geoff PR says:

          “Geoff, does he put a smile on your face when he writes an article stating that he voted for the Hill-dog?”

          I neutralized his vote with my vote. Therefore, it’s Saul Goodman.

          I’m willing to wager he ‘seasons’ his writing with a heavy shot of bombast. It sure makes for a fun read.

          Spend any time behind a gun counter, and your opinion of your fellow man will *drastically* plummet.

          And speaking of man, I’ve gotten a whole lot *less* attitude from women when selling guns, and I don’t think it has to do with my *sparkling* personality or my non-existent ‘rugged good looks’ and ‘studly manner’…

          EDIT – Oh, cool.

          China is indicating if Fat-Boy Kim lobs a salvo towards Guam and the US retaliates, they will stay neutral. Any bets on Kim backing down?

          “Chinese paper says China should stay neutral if North Korea attacks first”

          http://www.reuters.com/article/us-northkorea-missiles-china-media-idUSKBN1AR005

    6. avatar No one of consequence says:

      There’s a reason I’ll drive 2 hours to Albuquerque to transfer in a gun, and it isn’t because the transfer fees are lower. (In fact they are, but in no way does that compensate for the time and gas.)

    7. avatar barnbwt says:

      From what I can gather, it’s part of his business model. As a true “firearms concierge” he is openly hostile to the vast majority of the customer base out there, in order to manufacture ‘exclusivity’ that he then peddles as an asset to the well-healed but ignorant customers whose machineguns & high dollar purchases he diligently sherpas through the NFA/GCA process. I say ignorant because there are plenty of less pretentious concerns who offer the same services and are just as professional. After all, it’s not like there’s anything stopping FC from ditching his business for whatever reason & leaving his customers in the lurch (he didn’t suggest he has a sophisticated continuation plan should something happen to remove his involvement with his customers, just that *he* was more qualified than the other guys)

      When your focus is on the high-dollar machinegun biz, the risk & wealth transfer involved is high enough that many folks ‘feel’ like they need to spend some fraction on the process (vs. a fixed cost) as a superstitious hedge to guarantee its success or something. Why people don’t just use an escrow service & standard contract with guarantees of competence/performance is beyond me; any other 50,000$ purchase generally does involve things like this that ensure everyone’s covered throughout the process should something be screwed up like this transfer was.

    8. avatar Dave says:

      This. I typically glance at the author’s name after I’ve clicked on an article. I saw FC’s & cringed. That said, this is probably the least condescending & prickish thing he’s ever wrote. Still condescending, but not nearly as much as usual.

  4. avatar Renner says:

    I’m not a gun dealer, but this story plays out almost daily in my line of work. They bought from someone else and then need me to fix it. No need to be so offended that you rant on the internet about how great you are and everyone else is stupid. Yea yea, I get it, business is slow so you need to drum up some more. Just be content that you can help these people and make a good buck in the process. Nobody likes a egotistical narcissist.

    1. avatar TCP says:

      “Nobody likes a egotistical narcissist”

      Except the DNC.

      1. avatar Joe R. says:

        That is an important qualification to make. Thank you TCP.

      2. avatar Mark N. says:

        I wouldn’t limit it to the DNC. In politics, it is a job requirement.

      3. avatar Renner says:

        Well, Trump got elected. I guess my point is completely moot.

        1. avatar Joe R. says:

          It is if you’re (D).

      4. avatar barnbwt says:

        Except his idiot clients that are convinced his arrogance & bravado are signs he ‘knows something.’ Classic “Art of the Deal” negotiating that anyone who can see past their emotions for an instant doesn’t bother with. I’ll deal with the cat who isn’t trying to gouge me in exchange for listening to him prattle on about how great he is, thanks.

  5. avatar Cundalini says:

    TL;DR

    1. avatar Summary: says:

      Machine gun, fuckups, dickswingin’ dickswingin’ dickswingin’, FC OUT.

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        The butthurt is so *priceless*…

        🙂

      2. avatar Dave says:

        Thank you Summary, that sums it up nicely. Though I suggest you add in “little” to “dickswingin'” because that’s the only explanation for the sheer size of this guy’s ego.

  6. avatar Joe R. says:

    I’ve had very diligent FFL’s tank a Form 4 regarding a trust. I’ve had the ATF deny a Form 4 for the misspelling of a Trust’s name, only to deliver the approved Form 4 (with the freekin’ error) on nearly the same day to me at my residence directly (not to the FFL). AND EVEN IF THEY DID, IT’D BE A TOTALLY “AFTER THE FACT” TYPE OF INTERDICTION, AFTER THEY ALLOWED FOR THE TRANSFER – ESSENTIALLY TELLING THE REST OF YOU THAT IT WAS “OK”.

    Know what I think? Whole sh_t pile has to go. The ATF has people who are both their neighbors AND THEIR PAYING CUSTOMERS (LEGAL FING LAW ABIDING CITIZENS) on tenterhooks during the whole fing thing and the ATF&E gets-off sexually on that. Ya know what, I trust all of you (even the fing felons) more than I can bring myself to believe that the ATF&E is protecting us in any way from any of the maladies of gun ownership BY ANYONE.

    If I had (more money than GOD since the Post 86 Full-auto ban) and bought that M2HB and paid for the transfer, and the stamp, the paperwork was completed properly and the AFT&E deemed appropriate time had passed (4-464 months) and I received the stamp, and took possession of the weapon [I’d be giggling like a mf, but that’s besides the point] AND SPED TO THE NEAREST PAY OR DISPOSABLE CELL PHONE / OBAMA FRAUD-PHONE DEALER AND CALLED THE ATF&E IN D.C. AND TOLD THEM I WAS GOING TO
    I M M E D I A T E L Y
    TRANSPORT THAT WEAPON TO D.C. AND SHOOT UP THEIR HOME OFFICE ON ‘H’ STREET https://www.atf.gov/washington-field-division, HUNG UP THE PHONE AND WENT AFTER IT, THERE WOULD BE A HIGH LIKELIHOOD THAT I COULD GET THERE AND GET THE JOB DONE BEFORE THEY INTERDICTED ME [doubt very highly they could motivate fast enough to preempt me from attacking local or local state ATF&E offices, at all].

    THEREFORE, it should be WRONGFUL, not just ‘wrong’, for them to claim that they are protecting anyone (especially on an individual level) and if they ain’t doing that, they can pack their sh_t and go home.

    The suppressor “regulations” are fing ridiculous, but they are unconscionable when you consider the poop sieve of the ATF&E we have to shove them through to get “approval” and all the hand wringing and haranguing we get from FFL’s http://www.thetruthaboutguns.com/author/firearmconcierge/ and the “firearms community” TO ADEQUATELY DO THE POOP SEIVE PRESSING.

    F all of that.

    1. avatar Joe R. says:

      The

      “AND EVEN IF THEY DID, IT’D BE A TOTALLY “AFTER THE FACT” TYPE OF INTERDICTION, AFTER THEY ALLOWED FOR THE TRANSFER – ESSENTIALLY TELLING THE REST OF YOU THAT IT WAS “OK”.”

      Was supposed to come after the

      “[doubt very highly they could motivate fast enough to preempt me from attacking local or local state ATF&E offices, at all].” but I cank’d the edit.

      1. avatar Joe R. says:

        My whole point was, imagine how much damage I could do if I DIDN’T make the phone call. The ATF&E is only protecting me from you and you from me for as long as (and not a fraction of a second longer) we choose to police and control ourselves. And that’s a fact jack.

        1. avatar Geoff PR says:

          Have you missed any of your meds today, Joe?

        2. avatar Joe R. says:

          At least you didn’t call me ‘wrong’.

        3. avatar Geoff PR says:

          *snicker* 😉

          You’re OK, Joe.

          A bit high-strung, but OK…

  7. avatar Dan in CO says:

    Tl,dr. Go f yourself dear comrade FC. I haven’t forgotten whose side you’re really on.

    1. avatar Tile floor says:

      What did he do? Not being sarcastic I really don’t know

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        Consider FC kinda like a select-fire version of the ‘Bastard Operator From Hell’, so to speak…

        1. avatar barnbwt says:

          Or a ‘weaponized douchebag’ if you will… Guy constantly brags about gouging his clients as a point of pride, clearly resents them, and actively seeks their disadvantage vis a vis political/legal efforts. I’m sure it’s just that his well-heeled clients –cut from the same cloth as he, naturally– are even more arrogant & insufferable than he is (the guy in this story certainly sounds so, anyway). But due to his greed, instead of telling these pricks to screw themselves or deal with him like civilized men, he swallows his pride, takes their money…and then takes his frustration out on everyone else around him whom he holds in contempt.

      2. avatar Mr. Pierogie says:

        Rather than voting for Hillary, that POS could have moved his business to New Jersey, for example, to experience living and doing business in a place run by Democrats that’s as anti-gun as it gets. A dry run, if you will. He wouldn’t have to deal with those pesky rich people and their problems either, since you can’t even get a silencer here, let alone a machine gun. A vote for Hillary was a vote for just that: an oppressive, restrictive anti-gun regime where everything is illegal and running a gun business is next to impossible. Oh what’s that? He won’t do it because he would actually lose money, not to mention his basic freedoms? By publishing such crap this site gets worse and worse every day. Next thing you know Voda Inc. will be a regular contributor and RF will proclaim him the best gun guru ever. Well, maybe second best, behind James “I’m gonna start killing people” Yeager.

  8. avatar Renner says:

    Did anyone learn anything useful from this post?

    1. avatar Rick the Bear says:

      Not really.

    2. avatar Joe R. says:

      There’s “pristine and virginal” machine guns still trading hands out there.

      So,

      THERE’S A CHANCE ! ! !

    3. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

      Evidently the man has a sore back and neck from all the self congratulatory “pats”, and carrying around such a swollen head. Not to mention IBSD to an extreme that oral relief is possible. Who wouldn’t vent with such issues?

      1. avatar The Gray Poseur says:

        Can’t TTAG find a couple FFLs to tell some stories without dealing with this dicjhead.

        1. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

          Apparently no self-respecting FFL (Let alone class 3 dealer) can compare to the sheer insolence of FC and thereby generate the indignant surge of comments. FC’s real name may very well be Mike Weisser. All kidding aside, FC has no doubt done more to further the anti-rights cause with his pious rhetoric alone. The disdain that he also seems to hold for the common man, is quite simply disconcerting.

    4. avatar TrueBornSonofLiberty says:

      I most certainly did. A leopard can’t change its spots. And TTAG still allows scumbag traitors and sleazy businessmen to write “articles” under their banner. Did FC really think this article, along with the requisite comments, was going to be helpful to his business?

  9. avatar CueBaller says:

    I thought this guy wasn’t writing for TTAG anymore?

  10. avatar Shire-man says:

    Oh look. Yet another “For the right price I’ll exude my awesomeness all over your face” write up from FC.

    The antagonist is an inept douche and the protagonist is an arrogant self-righteous asshole. Who to root for?

    1. avatar barnbwt says:

      Not even self-righteous; rather, he relishes in supporting anti-gun efforts so as to drive panic, gouging his clients for even those most basic services while scaring them away from competent alternatives with lies, and pissing off the general gun public via arrogant posts like these about those things. Emotional transference by a guy who hates what he does for a living, and makes it everyone else’s problem.

  11. avatar C4v3man says:

    “FC out.”
    Don’t make promises you won’t keep.

    Why do you guys keep letting this anti-2A narcissist throw his rants up here. Voting for Hillary specifically to protect your pocketbook is despicable and shouldn’t be tolerated on a site that claims to support our 2nd amendment rights. There has to be some other NFA specialist that can write for TTAG.

    1. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

      A pro-rights advocate mustn’t forget that while essential, the 2nd is not the alpha and omega of the BOR. There is also the 1st, and opposing views ought not be feared for such things can either alter or galvanize one’s opinion for the better.

      1. avatar Travis says:

        I get a little tweaked when we try to polarize the 2nd amendment to R vs D, but if I remember correctly FC’s reason for voting for Hillary was that it’d be good for his business (fear about the 2a causes sales to go up…) and “nothing would really happen anyway..”

  12. avatar JackInAlabama says:

    FC’s an FLAME DELETED. Seriously though, while it isn’t related to firearms, I have to deal with folks who have no idea what they’re doing, and try to go around me direct to my suppliers or a “less expensive alternative”, ALL the time (and yes, most of the things I deal with are at minimum ITAR-regulated, so the gubmint is involved as well). I charge for access to my knowledge & experience, and you all realize TANSTAAFL is reality, right? And yes, I’m more than enough of a prick to charge some asshat an additional “stupidity tax” when they are particularly egregious, and I’m called in to fix their problems after the fact.

    I’ve actually found a great deal of personal satisfaction in telling some of my more idiotic customers that I’m bumping the services fee on their order because they literally didn’t know what they were doing.

    My $.02, not everyone has time for your idiocy, time IS money, and some of us have very little use for window-lickers.

    1. avatar C4v3man says:

      Good advice in a field where you’re dealing with idiots (on both the customer and government end) can be expensive. It can also turn you into an impatient, self-righteous PITA. If that’s all FC was, he’d be tolerable.

      But voting/campaigning for Hillary SPECIFICALLY for the express purpose of keeping panic purchases going under the threat of bans, infringement, and confiscation is not the voice we need to hear on a site that claims to support the 2A. “Whatever is good for business” is exactly the type of attitude you see with many illegal activities, and people with FC’s disposition have been known to illegally transfer weapons to make a quick buck. Hopefully FC gets a long extended audit at some point, and TTAG get’s a new writer.

      If you are a democrat, or supported Hillary due to position x, or position y, or because you hated ‘Trumpster Fire’ is one thing, and doesn’t explicitly ban you from writing for this site. But openly voting for a candidate with the primary purpose to THREATEN the very rights that a site claims to be defending does quality FC for termination.

      1. avatar barnbwt says:

        He does seem to give off a certain Adam Weber (HKparts.com) vibe as far as how he views his role as facilitator in this business. Weber’s facing jail for numerous NFA/GCA violations regarding transfers of title I/II guns, and it’s apparently come out that he was passing off used third-party components as “Genuine Factory HK” parts at exorbitant prices, and possibly even ‘up badging’ these cheaper imported components as new, high quality US manufacture through forgery (not only misleading, but possibly passing 922r legal liability onto his customers). Previously he’d been very open about how he *deserved* to charge such high prices for all his parts, since he was the only one who had connections that allowed him “genuine HK components,” and was just being a good capitalist, and so on & so forth.

  13. avatar Steve says:

    FTTAG and FFC. I’m done with this site.

  14. avatar Jack Crow says:

    I wonder if TTAG posts this jerk’s stories for the comments, or because they think it is of value to their readers. Not sure what point they are making with this stuff.

    Every post FC gets up here, makes me rethink my level of interest in TTAG.

    1. avatar The Gray Poseur says:

      Page clicks. Metrics.

  15. avatar Hannibal says:

    Okay… he got screwed. But unless someone happens to have experience or personal references to check, it might be tough to know who to go to.

    In the end this doesn’t seem like that big a deal. If a gun store is run by people who seem to mean well and price things to move, I’m probably willing to try them out. My time without gun X is not so important that I need to throw money around.

    But if you really, really need that form 4 item, by all means find the most expensive guy around I guess.

  16. avatar Hank says:

    Firearms Concierge you’re a FLAME DELETED

    1. avatar The Gray Poseur says:

      I suspect FC loves this negative attention.

      1. avatar Hank says:

        True. I bet he beats his little democrat chode while reading these replies.

    2. avatar Hank says:

      Damnit. That was a good one.

  17. avatar Nynemillameetuh says:

    I’d rather feed my (hypothetical) transferable machine gun to a smelter than give this douche a shekel. Billing by the hour? Boy, you better be a gunsmith or a lawyer.

    1. avatar barnbwt says:

      Didn’t he once say something about charging a retainer fee like a real lawyer, too? I have to be misremembering that bit, since it sounds too douchebaggy to possibly be real.

  18. avatar Hobo with a shotgun says:

    Why isn’t Springfield Armory or Rock River Arms sponsoring this post? Seems like a natural partnership.. If you’re going to sell out, at least sell out, right?

  19. avatar Mr. Woodcock says:

    Must be a slow interwebz traffic day…i know….let’s post something from FC and stir the flames of hate and discontent! Brilliant!!!!

  20. avatar GP1935 says:

    I’ll cut FC slack on one thing… charging by the hour to fix it. Only sensible when you don’t know how much time you’ll have to spend because it depends on other people. But that’s all. Plenty of other people sell specialized goods and services and manage to be reasonably pleasant about it.

  21. avatar Klause Von Schmitto says:

    I believe most of his BS like I believe stories that start with “And there I was….”

  22. avatar Dave says:

    “FC Out.”

    Good. Go back to whatever rock you crawled out from & stay there.

  23. avatar jsallison says:

    Nice M2HB, apparently a model with qcb and fixed headspace, come to papa.

  24. avatar Lt. Matthews says:

    “I was out to lunch [sic] recently when I got a call.”

    Wait, you wrote what you thought to be an error, then pointed it out? What?

    1. avatar EverythingIsTerrible says:

      I was wondering the same thing.

  25. avatar leisure suit larry says:

    Whenever I see The Firearms Concierge byline I don’t read the article. I go right to the comments and revel in the overwhelming majority of people who think he is a first class sphincter. If I was as reviled as him/her I wouldn’t post my name either. A first class misanthrope he is.

  26. avatar EverythingIsTerrible says:

    Was the point of this article solely to show how much of an ass the author is? Because that’s all I got out of it.

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

button to share on facebook
button to tweet
button to share via email