Summer Blockbuster Movie Guide for Gun Guys and Gals

Summertime, and the movies are easy. In fact, there’s not a single flick heading to your local mega-plex that couldn’t be explained on a postcard (a photo and text card people used to send through the mail that had to be at least 3-1/2 inches high x 5 inches long x 0.007 inch thick, and more than 4-1/4 inches high x 6 inches long x 0.016 inches thick). Many of them (the movies) involve some kind of gunplay.

Dunkirk, exploring the glorious [sic] WWII rout suffered by the British forces. The trailer claims Survival is Victory! Yes, well, anyway, Dunkirk has One Direction‘s Harry Styles in it! (Ask you daughter.) There’ll be plenty of Enfield No. 2’s. Realism is the name of the game here. I’m playing.

Baby Driver (June 28) – BD is hardly a groundbreaking movie. There’ve been plenty of crime capers focusing on the wheelman (click here for the top ten). But nothing recently, and moviegoers at SXSW loved this fast cars ‘n slick guns flick. With Kevin Spacey on board, directed by Shaun of the Dead’s Edgar Wright, it promises to be quite the firearms-infused romp.

War for the Planet of the Apes (July 14)The new PoTA should be about as silly and PC as the previous re-boot, with firearms-wielding bipeds of various sorts. Still it looks stylish enough and the apes seems almost . . . human. Including that bit about “apes only fight to survive.” I mean, who doesn’t?

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (July 21) – It’s most expensive European movie ever made — and the first one to beat movie-goers senseless with CG. And look, the guy falling has a blaster! Good enough for me. Well that and Cara Delevingne’s eyebrows.

Atomic Blonde (July 28) – I don’t get that worked up about WWII firearms. But I’m well on-board with AB’s cold war gats. Not to mention the fact that director David Leitch had a hand in the original John Wick. Choreographed doesn’t begin to cover it.

The Dark Tower (August 4) – Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It may not have lots of guns, but anti-gunner Steven King’s dark thriller ticks all the right boxes: genuine acting, character development and some insane (i.e. incredible) gun play. “I don’t kill with my gun. I kill with my heart.” Sure, whatever you say. My pick for the must-see gun movie of the summer of 2017.

Did I miss anything?

comments

  1. avatar Minime says:

    Hypocrites. The lot of them in Hollywood, hypocrites all.

    “Guns are bad, people who have guns are bad, but let’s make ourselves richer by being our jolly hypocrite selves.”

    Disgusting.

    1. avatar Luke 22 says:

      If 1/100th of a penny went to Stephen King (or Amy Schumer or anyone else on the NRA’s anti-list) from my $10+ movie ticket, well, they can just go pound salt. If you’re gonna ‘talk the talk’, then ‘walk the walk’. I don’t care if they are all going to make mega-bucks from it…it won’t be coming from me. Look at yourself in the mirror, and ask yourself if you are a man (or woman) of principle, or a hypocrite…your choice.

  2. avatar stink fartindale says:

    “eyebrows”

    Yeah, sure. 🙂

    1. avatar Ing says:

      Hey, are you any relation to Turd Ferguson?

    2. avatar FlaBoy says:

      Yeah, they sure did emphasize them, they sure poke out the front, don’t they…great eye candy for the summertime young, male teenage audience. Oh wait, I’m an old fart … what am I doing looking (well, at least I can still look). Oh, and I did notice her eyebrows…they do highlight her face

      1. avatar Sunshine_Shooter says:

        She had a face?

  3. avatar Roger says:

    Pretty much every action movie this summer will have at least a few guns in it. Even The Mummy and Wonder Woman had some gun play. I mean with all the Super Heroes running around, a mere mortal has to resort to something to attempt to level the playing field.

  4. avatar D-FENS says:

    They won’t be getting one cent out of me. If I want to see anything they put out, I do what I’ve done for years, download it for free. Actively wage war on Hollywood! Download, distribute via seeding, tell others to do the same. Never send another cent their way via tickets, DVD, rentals, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime. They hate you, never forget it.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      Sending your money to zip-code 90210 secures gun rights in the future.

      They can’t help themselves. Hollywood keeps on making movies where the good guys (with guns) *win*.

      And get the girls. Hollywood gets right in the kid’s faces and makes the case for gun rights. Guns right wrongs. And they sell it with the most powerful drug on earth.

      Sex… 🙂

    2. avatar DaveW says:

      I just wait until they air on TV.

    3. avatar John says:

      http://Www.kodi.tv thats old school torrenting download exodus

  5. avatar ActionPhysicalMan says:

    So, Mr. King paid homage to Gunney Hartman’s postulating about what kills. That is seems okay to me:-)

  6. avatar Cliff H says:

    As an aside, Wonder Woman does have a lot of guns, although usually in the hands of the bad guys and trying to do bad things to the good guys (and Woman).

    Steve Trevor makes very good use of a 12 gauge trench gun, however.

    My bigger point about this movie, and this struck me right away, is the Amazon philosophy throughout about being willing and able to defend not only yourself, but others. Wonder Woman says it specifically at one point – “It is my duty to protect those who cannot protect themselves.”

    She may not use guns, but she has the mindset for keeping and bearing arms and it is refreshing to see, and hear, in a Hollywood blockbuster of a movie.

  7. avatar John Buttwhistle says:

    Why even post something with the great South African gun grabber??

  8. avatar Hank says:

    Monkey’s with guns? Hey, Ape Lives Matter!

  9. avatar AHill says:

    I know it comes out on September 1st so it isn’t technically a summer movie but it is only 1 day and it starts before school is back in session so I would argue it could be included as a summer movie, all this of course to say you forgot about the movie Renegades.

    1. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

      No, you’re good. (-:
      This year’s autumnal equinox, the astronomical end of summer, is September 22.

  10. avatar Geoff PR says:

    “Do they have guns and bullets in your world?”

    “You’re gonna like Earth. A *lot*.”

    What you see here is exhibit ‘A’ as to why and how the Left lost the culture war on guns. So blinded by greed for the almighty dollar, Hollywood produces example after example of *WHY* “The people’s right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”.

    Will I be spending my money on watching some of these movies? You bet your ass I will.

    Every dollar I send to Hollywood secures my future right to keep and bear arms.

    Hollywood could be the main driver in the elimination of the 2A. But they won’t. Because of *money*.

    The character of Gordon Gecko was more right then he ever could have known.

    Greed *is* good.

    For gun rights…

  11. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

    Probably see Dunkirk. The evacuation happened about a year and half after the Munich Agreement. ‘Si vis pacem, para bellum’ as Neville Chamberlain used to say…

  12. avatar former water walker says:

    I seriously doubt I will see another flick better than Wonder Woman this summer. Starring a real life Israeli soldier/badazz/babe. Yes I loved Steve Trevor blasting away with his trenchgun?

    1. avatar jwtaylor says:

      For those of you who have not seen Wonder Women, let me sum up the plot for you:
      “Look at how gorgeous this woman is.”
      90 minutes later I was still enthralled.

  13. avatar Louis says:

    Dunkirk is the only one I plan to see. I especially won’t be seeing Steven King’s movie.

  14. avatar strych9 says:

    Has someone been reading Breach Bang Clear?

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      Why? Anything specific, or are we expected to read your mind? 🙂

  15. avatar Mark N. says:

    Blade Runner 2049 isn’t a summer blo9ckbuster, since it doesn’t debut until October, but I am looking forward to it.

  16. avatar Ken says:

    The Hitman’s Bodyguard?

  17. avatar Tony says:

    Baby Driver looks hilarious, Atomic Blonde looks like a female John Wick, and I want to see Dark Tower most of all of them. I can’t wait to watch all of them.

  18. avatar Button Gwinnet says:

    My daddy was a prominent frogman
    My mamma’s in the Naval reserve
    When I was young I carried a gun
    But I never got the chance to serve
    I did not serve

  19. avatar Docduracoat says:

    Wonder Woman was a great movie!
    New Captain Kirk teaches alien ((Wonder Woman) about humanity
    She is amazed to learn that artillery sounds like thunder

  20. avatar Garrison Hall says:

    The “Snow Goose” is a great story built around Dunkirk.

  21. avatar Jim Macklin says:

    DUNKIRK began in 1918 at the end of WWI. Knowing there would never be another war, England dumped most of the large and small arms in the English Channel. In 1940, the weak English Army fled from France, leaving most of their remaining weapons on the beaches at Dunkirk.
    Luckily the United States of America and the NRA were able and willing to send rifles and other weapons to England.
    I might go see Dunkirk but I doubt the movie will really covewr the history and after effects.

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