Stoned, Stupid or Both?: Man Tries to Rob Pizza Joint Armed With a Magazine

It’s 10:00 pm and you could just kill for a pizza. And a little extra cash. That’s apparently what one Myrtle Beach, South Carolina yoot was thinking last night when he walked into a pie parlor with a wallet as empty as his stomach (and his head).

When the man at the counter asked what he could get for him . . .

…the suspect then pulled out a magazine for a firearm and pointed at the victim, telling the victim to give him everything he has. The victim then slapped the magazine out of the suspect’s hands.

Not a pistol, just a magazine. Two rounds popped out when the mag hit the linoleum and Dillinger snagged them before disappearing into the night.

Sadly, the report doesn’t indicate whether the failed stick-up was committed with a handgun mag or one for an AR. Either way, look for our friends at Moms Demand Action to classify this as just one more crime committed with a high capacity “assault weapon.”

comments

  1. avatar Frank in VA says:

    Gnarrrly.

  2. avatar Doktor says:

    Old news

  3. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

    I wonder what the blonde behind Spicoli looks like now.

      1. Not bad. I’d hit that.

      2. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

        OMG, it’s Beth from Better Off Dead!

        1. avatar The Rookie says:

          TWO DOLLARS!

        2. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

          Buck up little camper…

  4. avatar Mark N. says:

    I heard on the news last night that a man robbed a bank in Oroville, California (home of the failed dam spillway), but was quickly found and arrested by police–because he was wearing his ankle monitor.

    1. avatar Aaron says:

      that’s some impressive display of criminal intellect right there…

  5. avatar neiowa says:

    Here I was thinking a rolled up Playboy or Shooting Times.

    1. avatar Zeke says:

      You and me both!

  6. avatar former water walker says:

    Well at least it wasn’t a CLIP?

    1. avatar barnbwt says:

      He needed them for holding his joints

  7. avatar Dave Lewis says:

    When I read just the headline I’m thinking he used a Playboy or Time or the always evil Guns and Ammo. Then I read the story and I am very glad that he wasn’t armed with a clip. Could have been bad. In New York he’d have been limited to throwing just seven bullets at the counter guy. I feel safer just thinking about that.

  8. avatar Ian says:

    I have a clipazine and I’m not afraid to use it!

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Apparently the dude behind the counter was not afraid to use his high capacity slap- a- hand, either.

  9. avatar Rocky says:

    This was so stupid, I had a vision of a magazine when I read it. Like, Time magazine. I truly did not envision a bullet holdy type device until I read the article.

    1. avatar Jack Crow says:

      Can you imagine if he’d been able to get a shoulder thing that went up?

      1. avatar OmnivorousBeorn says:

        The imagination boggles (to borrow a phrase from P.G. Wodehouse).

      2. avatar Ing says:

        Thank heavens the guy behind the pizza counter had one.

      3. avatar Ph.D. Razorback says:

        Eventually all the high capacity magazines will be used up and then criminals won’t be able to get any more.

  10. avatar JR Pollock says:

    He should have used a clip, or a rolled up newspaper..

  11. avatar Johannes Paulsen says:

    Must’ve been a high-powered assault clip.

    1. avatar Ardent says:

      The 31 round Glock mags would make a decent impact weapon, but to most folks a large rock would likely be more intimidating and thus more likely to facilitate his robbery attempt. One boggles at the stupidity regularly on public display.

  12. avatar John in TX (Was CT) says:

    Something about this just screams “Fake, False Flag!” to me.

  13. avatar Claymore says:

    At least it wasn’t something dangerous like a kid’s pop-tart with the thing that goes up.

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