Question of the Day: What Gun, What Round for Bigfoot?

“An Idaho motorist told the local sheriff’s department that a Bigfoot sighting caused her to crash her car last Wednesday night.” The Huffington Post “reports” that “the woman told the Latah County (Idaho) Sheriff’s Office that she saw a Sasquatch chasing a deer on a stretch of US-95 outside of Potlatch.”

Lets assume you were changing a tire out in the boonies. Here comes Bigfoot, posing an imminent credible threat of grievous bodily harm or death to you or other innocent life.

For some reason, you’ve prepared for just such an eventuality; you’re armed for bear (at the least). With something LEGAL.

Bringing down one of the big beasts wouldn’t be easy. The witness above described the Yeti as “shaggy” (oh wow, Scoob!) standing between seven and eight feet tall. As taking down a deer — on foot without firearm — requires some serious speed, you probably aren’t going to get a second chance.

So what gun, what round to defend yourself against a rampaging humanoid biped? Side question: trophy hunters not welcome?

comments

  1. avatar Texheim says:

    Lever action in 454

    1. avatar Will in Oregon says:

      that’s exactly what I came here to say. if you can’t kill it with 10 rounds of .454, you need to call for air support.

    2. avatar Ozzallos says:

      As long as you’re not trusting to your life to a Rossi, I guess .454 will work.

    3. avatar mp says:

      Why the hell would you shoot Bigfoot?

  2. avatar Pwrserge says:

    If I was out and about in bear country? Glock 20 with the hottest load I could handle. With my normal load? Empty the magazine. Nothing is going to particularly enjoy 18 rounds of +p 9mm critical duty.

    1. avatar Michael B. says:

      Depending on the situation you might only get a few rounds of before he was on you. I would want something with more stopping power than that in case I could only get a round or two off. 45acp minimum if it was a handgun but I would prefer a shotgun.

    2. avatar Bill says:

      I hope you have your sights filed down.

      1. avatar Pwrserge says:

        If I shoot something 18 times and it doesn’t die, I’m not fighting Sasquatch, I’m fighting the fucking terminator.

  3. avatar James Hoffa says:

    AR_15 in 458 SOCOM 300grain solid copper hollowpoint. Done deal.

    1. avatar uncommon_sense says:

      Yep, that would tend to put some serious hurt on any two-legged or four-legged attacker.

    2. avatar Chadwick says:

      Hey man an AR pistol is still a pistol. Cc might be difficult but still would make a decent walking companion.

    3. avatar Ardent says:

      I could not for the life of me imagine what purpose something that light, handy, fast firing, high capacity and rapidly reloadable with that much power could possibly be the ideal tool for…until you had to go and ask ‘what gun for Bigfoot’, and it was the very first thing that popped into mind. Glad to see I’m not the only one.

  4. avatar Josey Wales says:

    Whenever my wife is changing a flat tire I usually stand guard with an M1. So I guess I’d have to go with that…

    1. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

      That’ll work. What do you carry when she’s changing the oil, mowing the lawn, or unclogging the toilet?

      1. avatar KBonLI says:

        I don’t know about Josey but I personally carry a 38 Special when she is doing any of those things.

      2. avatar Defens says:

        A beer.

      3. avatar SouthAl says:

        Not able to carry anything due to severe ass whipping when she finished.

      4. avatar Joseph Quixote says:

        A sandwich.

  5. avatar Cucamonga Jeff says:

    Medium velocity grenade. You get a 10M kill zone and I’m not interested in bringing back a trophy. ?☠️

    1. avatar KBonLI says:

      I believe that would be used to shoot Batman not Bigfoot.

  6. avatar Mosinfan says:

    Since Bigfoot is so elusive, the evil yet equally elusive .9mm should do it.

    1. avatar tmm says:

      That was my first thought.

  7. avatar No one of consequence says:

    Custom round loaded with Jack Link beef jerky. From the commercials, that stuff’s supposed to drive Bigfoot over the edge.

    Or a man-portable Dillon. Since we’re talking make-believe…

  8. avatar JDC says:

    Mossberg 930 High Performance Kryptek Yeti Camo with 3″ 000 Buck shells. The only “Official” choice. Obviously.

  9. avatar jwtaylor says:

    55gr .223 solid. And let him get real close. I need as little damage to the hide and skull as possible.
    Of course, the big win would be a wounding shot where he could get away. I’d track the blood trail and then bag the whole family.
    I hear the loins are delicious.

    1. avatar JDC says:

      The .223 would disintegrate before it hit. The Odor Zone would vaporize it. That’s why I went with 000 Buck. It’ll still be 0 size by the time it hits.

    2. avatar TStew says:

      Mmmmmmmm…sasqualicious…

    3. avatar Jon in CO says:

      This. Hopefully just a limb hit and arterial bleed so you don’t ruin the internal organs.

  10. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:

    If I am to take down a mythical creature which the MSM claims does not exist, I want something in the 30 watt range. Preferably with a thingy that folds up and a high capacity clipazine which won’t run dry. After that a strong hairbrush, can’t have the ‘squatch looking unkempt for the after pix……..and lipstick……..

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      A quick shower with a firehose, and a drum of deodorant after…

  11. avatar Don says:

    Tranquilizer dart, probably Fentanyl, yeah? If it was proven to exist it would be retroactively added to the ESL, so you’d go to prison for shooting it.

    1. avatar Gregolas says:

      Plus, under the influence of the tranquilizer, he’d give you all the classified info on Area 51 and the ’47 Roswell alien crash…..

  12. avatar Cloudbuster says:

    Since Bigfoot is imaginary, I can just point my finger and say “Bang!”

    1. avatar dlj95118 says:

      …not “bang”, but “pew pew pew!”

  13. avatar Ironhead says:

    Handgun? Nothing less than 44 magnum.
    Rifle? 45-70 or 416 rigby

    1. avatar tmm says:

      I agree on the 45-70. I believe “Josh Randall” was supposed to have carried a mare’s leg in 45-70.

  14. avatar Huntmaster says:

    Gun Junkies aren’t really sitting around discussing shooting Bigfoot…. are they?

    1. avatar No one of consequence says:

      I’ve made a point to never watch it, but one of the commercials for it mugged me once:

      http//www.animalplanet.com/tv-shows/finding-bigfoot/

      The clips of the cast looked and sounded exactly like what I imagine a smug Hollywood exec thinks gun enthusiasts look and talk like.

      Took me a while to clean up the condescension that dripped off the TV.

    2. avatar Splic3r says:

      Nope. We’re all paying attention, working hard, and definitely not faffing off at the office reading about guns

    3. avatar jwtaylor says:

      I’m not a junkie. I can quit anytime I want.

    4. avatar former water walker says:

      I belong to some prepper/SHTF/End of the world FB groups. I can assure you this is discussed? Anywho since Bigfoot is just an extinct ape I’d want an Apeload…

    5. avatar anonymoose says:

      You weren’t around when the “innawoods stories” and Skinwalker craze hit /k/, were you?

  15. avatar Aaron says:

    50cal Desert Eagle

  16. avatar A Brit in TX says:

    The obvious answer is the Magnum Research BFR. I understand that the BFR stands for ‘Big Foot Reaper’……

    As to the caliber, that’s of secondary importance but .454 Casull/.475 Linebaugh/.460 or .500 S&W should do the job.

  17. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    “Eighty-eight magnum. Shoots through schools. ”

    Danny Vermin

    1. avatar Timmy! says:

      Tom, I came in here specifically to say that very thing!

  18. avatar The Gray Poseur says:

    No shooting Bigfoot.

  19. avatar matty 9 says:

    I would never kill such a magical creature.
    That’d be like killing a unicorn.

    Plus, since it seems that the animal is a predator, he’s probably eaten up with parasites, so I aint gonna eat it. Just sayin

  20. avatar ToddR says:

    It is well established that the Skwatch is light on his feet….he’s got moves. And, we want him alive!

    .308 leg-shot.

  21. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    I would go with a lever-action rifle in .45-70 Government … shooting something like a 430 grain hardcast lead bullet with a big flat meplat that should exit the barrel around 1,500 fps.

    That is equivalent to a 12 gauge shotgun shooting a 1 ounce (437.5 grains) slug!

    1. avatar Tietonian says:

      Same for me.

  22. avatar Toddidit says:

    I’d send my guard unicorn after it.

  23. avatar DougieR says:

    Phased Plasma Rifle in the 40watt range for Bigfoot. You know why? Because neither frickin exists!!!!

    1. avatar KBonLI says:

      Good one!

    2. avatar tmm says:

      BFG. Clears a roomful of imps. Must do something to Bigfoot.

  24. avatar LJM says:

    .700 Nitro Express, chambered in a Holland Holland double rifle, if it isn’t too much of a bother, old boy.

    1. avatar AZgunner says:

      I like your style.

  25. avatar aircooled says:

    Don’t shoot Sasquatch! I heard form Michael Moore that there is more energy in Bigfoot’s burp than in all of the Unicorn tears and Butterfly farts combined!

  26. avatar Curtis in IL says:

    No need to shoot him. Sasquatch is harmless as long as you don’t mess with him. Enjoy your Jack Links.

  27. avatar Mr John R. P. La Voie says:

    Might as well go all out, a vehicle mounted Angry 107 with a Beehive round ought to do the trick – that way his hide will already be tacked to a tree.

  28. avatar higgs says:

    phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range………

  29. avatar Icabod says:

    In terms of range, size, diet and habitat, Bigfoot compares well to the black bear. Likely a good bear gun will take down a Bigfoot.
    That brings up the “however.”
    Black bears are legally hunted and seen. Given the number of hunters in the woods, it’s impossible to think that. Nobody has ever gotten a kill.
    Then is the need for a viable population. Supposedly, Bigfoot has been around for hundreds of year. This returns us to the size of the black bear population and how often they encounter people.
    Last are the shows that supposedly search for Bigfoot. The plot is always the same: start with the mystery and the legends. Toss in some reenactments. Have the intrepid hunters walk the woods banging on trees, howeling etc. Finally, have some ambiguous evidence “that science can’t explain.” Last close with lead to the next program.

  30. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    That’s a tough one. I’d use a .38, a .39, whatever it takes.

    1. avatar JDC says:

      Just goes to show that you know nothing. Everyone knows a .42 or .43 is waaaay better.

  31. avatar mrbadnews says:

    10mm. Its shoots through mooses. That’s been documented. All of your arguments are invalid.

    1. avatar Ironhead says:

      Pretty sure a 44 magnum or larger will shoot through a moose.

      1. avatar Timmy! says:

        A moose once bit my sister…

        Mind you, moose bites can be pretty nasty.

        1. avatar tmm says:

          If a moose bit my sister, I’d say “WhatsamatterU!”

        2. avatar jwm says:

          Python(Monty, not Colt) strikes again.

  32. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

    I’d prefer a lot of distance between Biggie and myself, so I’m thinking .338 Lapua Mag. in a highly operational operator’s fully automatic assault weapon with a silencer and a combo IR/low-light sniperscope.

  33. avatar Pwinky says:

    Need my J frame so that I can press it into his flesh while he’s pummeling the poop out of me. He might turn me into jerky anyway…

  34. avatar MadeInUSA says:

    Marlin lever, 45-70. And never worry if you brought enough gun.

  35. avatar KBonLI says:

    Any firearm, any round since it’s only some guy dressed in a monkey suit.

  36. avatar Smirkin' Merkin says:

    A Super Redhawk Alaskan in 454 Casull MIGHT be adequate with proper shot placement, but that’s if you can keep a steady hand under imminent threat. Since ‘squatch attacks happen on such a regular basis in that part of the country, I propose Ruger get cracking on a Super Redhawk Idahoan chambering 50 cal rifle rounds.

  37. avatar Noishkel says:

    Well being that the Sasquatch is probably supernatural I’d use some of those special silver packed loads from Monster Hunter International fired though a Thompson .45 for up close and something .308 at a distance.

  38. avatar Gregolas says:

    I expect Bigfoot would carry a Mod. 29 Smith, .44 Magnum.
    And sure, I’d buy him a round and I’m sure he’d do it for me. (Especially since I’m a teetotaler, so I’d be a cheap date).

    1. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

      i think he should have a lever gun in .30-30. with spanish moss draped on it.

  39. I always carry Chuck Norris when in Bigfoot country.

    1. avatar Jeff K says:

      Has Chuck become feeble that he needs carried?

  40. avatar Ronaldo Ignacio says:

    NAA .22mag

  41. avatar Gregolas says:

    This is the funnest (and funniest) thread in a long time. Thanks for all the great answers !

  42. avatar Warren Pease says:

    I’m off to the gun store to buy a big foot gun. I’m sure my wife will understand.

    1. avatar JDC says:

      Make sure you go to a gun store with a dedicated Big Foot Gun Section(TM). There will be a dedicated Big Foot Gun Expert(TM) behind the counter to answer every question you have.

  43. avatar roger says:

    500 magnum, unless he is sighted in California where the Bigfoot is a protected species.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      “He’s coming right for us!”

  44. avatar 27 Words says:

    William Moore & Co. side by side with 8 gauge slugs. It was good enough for Burt in Tremors.

  45. avatar Ralph says:

    Geko 9mm AP. If it took out that fat bastidge Biggy Smalls, then Biggy Foot would be child’s play.

  46. avatar Tim McIntyre says:

    +1 for a Glock 20 with hot loads, or my 686 with Buffalo Bore’s. A Henry 44 mag. or 45-70 would do the trick as well, but not nearly as easy or practical to carry… Just my $.02

  47. avatar Jason says:

    I want an old German Luger loaded with Ich Lüge bullets.

    1. avatar Ram says:

      Oh, the humanity!

      1. avatar Veronica says:

        I guess I picked the wrong time to be a human being.

  48. avatar AlanInFL says:

    30mm GAU8

  49. avatar HP says:

    I’d like to give .380 a try. Let’s make it exciting.

    1. avatar Jeff K says:

      I would want the Ruger Polycase ARX .380 ammo then.

  50. avatar Brian Rich says:

    Phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range. Fictitious weapon for a fictitious creature.

  51. avatar Howdy1 says:

    There is only one gun suitable for BigFoot.

    A Ghost Gun.

    It also doesn’t hurt that it has a thirty caliber clip, to disperse with thirty bullets within half a second. Thirty magazine clip in half a second!

    That should do the trick.

    1. avatar Ing says:

      I can’t believe it took this long for somebody to bring up a Ghost Gun. It’s the only sensible choice.

  52. avatar JB1000 says:

    Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
    Just in case you run into that other rabbit’s brother as well.

    1. avatar Oggy says:

      Ah, Brother Maynard

  53. avatar Cogline says:

    The only time that I ran across one I only had a .22 rifle with me. Needless to say I didn’t take the shot.

  54. avatar VillarPerosa says:

    wow slow news day i see.

    i would use my Phased plasma rifle in a 40 W range.

  55. avatar Timothy says:

    It’s unfortunate Big Foot doesn’t live in England. The citizens there are only allowed to carry a “marking spray” to identify your murderer/rapist/fictional animal AFTER they’re done with you. However, +1 to carrying Chuck Norris when in Big Foot territory.

    1. avatar Ozzallos says:

      Your only option is to slay Nessie.

  56. avatar Timothy says:

    It’s unfortunate for Big Foot that he doesn’t live in England. The citizens there are only allowed to carry a “marking spray” to identify your murderer/rapist/fictional animal AFTER they’re done with you. However, +1 to carrying Chuck Norris when in Big Foot territory.

  57. avatar RidgeRunner says:

    From guns I personally own, I’d have to say the lever action .44 and the Alaskan.

  58. avatar Harm Uden says:

    Shotgun with 3″ slugs.

  59. avatar D. in OR says:

    Funny you should ask. I just loaded up some 45-70’s for exactly that purpose ! 305gr Lehigh Defense solids going at 1850ft/s out of a Henry AW should do the trick. 🙂

  60. avatar Dave Lewis says:

    Not sure that I’d take a shot at Bigfoot. Based on the accounts (hairy, smelly, etc) he or she may be some long lost relative. However if I was convinced that the critter wasn’t kin and I perceived a genuine threat to my person, I’d go with my Remington 870 firing slugs and Ruger Super Redhawk loaded with 300 grain solids. If that doesn’t work I’ll give him the keys to my pickup and $20 for gas and send him on his way.

  61. avatar Little tippsy says:

    Jack daniels , I’ll drink him under the table.

    1. avatar Dave Lewis says:

      That’s what makes you see Bigfoot in the first place.

  62. avatar Arc says:

    The mythical .9mm. Duh.

  63. avatar VerendusAudeo says:

    Henry All Weather in .45-70 Gov’t. Probably gonna want the Winchester 12 loaded with slugs as backup. And a Ruger Super Redhawk Alaskan in .454 Casull just in case.

  64. avatar jwm says:

    Does this mean we’re done with zombies? I never get the forking memo.

    Here I thought bigfoot was just nuisance vermin. Next time I shoot one does this mean I gotta have a tag?

  65. avatar Sconnie says:

    I don’t want to live in a world with one less Bigfoot. So I’d take out him and every other living thing on earth, with a round of .22 ratshot.

  66. avatar McCann says:

    To hunt Bigfoot, I’d use an “assault weapon,” because, like Bigfoot, “assault weapons” are completely made up.

  67. avatar strych9 says:

    E-11 Blaster Rifle using plasma cartridges. 500 shots from that should do the trick.

    However, if that fails, fall back and call in an orbital strike followed by sending in a full division of clones backed by LAAT gunships to mop up. (Mixing Sci-Fi I know, my bad.)

    1. avatar Tietonian says:

      Shame on you! You will use a DC-15 or go without GAR support!

      1. avatar strych9 says:

        LOL! Nicely played.

  68. avatar samuraichatter says:

    12 gauge slug out of a maverick pump.

    Cuz it would be cool if a dirt broke kid bagged the greatest zoological discovery in the history of ever w/ a dirt cheap gun.

    1. avatar fteter says:

      Like your thinking, but I’d give the kid a Mosin Nagant for a little more range: 5 rounds of 7.62x54r should get the job done.

    2. avatar Harm Uden says:

      I like your style.

  69. avatar Cogline says:

    I would need 2 bionic legs, a bionic arm and eye before I would take on a Bigfoot.

  70. avatar Survivordude1090 says:

    For a roughly 7ft-9ft bipedal, heavy muscled primate that could weigh anything from 700lbs to 900lbs, I would choose the following.

    Marlin 45-70
    12 Gauge Shotgun with either heavy slugs or buck shot, 00 or 000.
    30-06 bolt gun (for distance)
    44 Mag Revolver

    Anything that could drop a good sized Black Bear or moose should do.

  71. avatar Mike Lingenfelter says:

    Ruger Alaskan in .460

  72. avatar Joe says:

    My Desert Eagle .50 ae should do it. Dropping bigfoot would help justify the money I splurged on it.

  73. avatar Winterborne says:

    A Glitter Boy combat suit’s railgun. SAMAS Combat armor ain’t enough.

    Apologies to Kevin Siembieda, creator of the RIFTS rpg and universe.

  74. avatar Larry says:

    Ruger Alaskan 454

  75. avatar MiamiC70 says:

    M60 200rnd belt

  76. avatar Craig Moore says:

    Use the .005 paper match cap in a Mattel Fanner 50 Lever gun…..cuze, Bigfoot.

  77. avatar Sam says:

    12 gauge one ounce slug. Good for bear defense so I’m guessing it works on a fictitious creature too.

  78. avatar DonS says:

    Well now, since I live in Washington – I may be able to use this as a good excuse for building up another AR … something like a .45 Raptor should do it.

    Don

    http://www.45raptor.com/45RAPTOR/

  79. avatar BZA says:

    Marlin 1895G with 4 rounds of 430gr. Hard Cast +P.

    If I can’t kill it with that load I really do not need to be shooting at it.

  80. avatar Charlie says:

    Since I can’t comfortably shoot .44 mag, I hope that I would have my trusty S&W M27 by my side. Six rounds of .357 mag 125gr JHP pack a considerable punch, and if that wasn’t enough I have a couple of speedloaders in a belt pouch too.

    Nah. I’ll reload while I watch the sucker bleed out. Six rounds is enough. 🙂

    Charlie

  81. avatar JW says:

    I recommend bigfoot defend himself from rampaging humanoid bipeds with a rifle loaded with combination anti-psychotic/tranquilizer darts.

  82. avatar Kaban says:

    375 H&H. Wearing pith helmet, of course.

    1. avatar Tietonian says:

      Hmmm. I grew up around Bigfoot country. Not exactly pith helmet country. Huzoor might want to save the pith helmet for La Chupacabra.

  83. avatar StPatrick_TN says:

    I’m just a simple caveman, frightened by your horseless carriages and the magic device in my pocket – the demons inside it convey the voices of my friends and family over great distances! What little I know about your fire-poles tells me that if .30-06 won’t stop the hated Ape-bear, then I should have chosen other lands to settle.

  84. avatar Old Region Fan says:

    7mm of course? Wonder what they taste like ?

  85. avatar Ozzallos says:

    HiPoint, bitches.

  86. avatar darkman says:

    Saw it on a you tube video. 950 caliber rifle. Guaranteed mystery meat.

  87. avatar Bella Twin says:

    I would think a 22 long would do…

  88. avatar Mikie Doo says:

    Is it legal to own a M1 Abrhams?

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