Pro Tip: Robbing a Texas Bar-B-Que Joint Can Be Bad For Your Health

There are a couple of rules of thumb that aspiring stick-up men would do well to keep in mind. First on the hit parade; Texas business owners are frequently armed. And bar-b-que joint owners are probably higher up on the list of those most likely to keep ballistic deterrence on hand.

The second rule of thumb: don’t mess with an old guy (particularly a Texan).

Ignoring these helpful guidelines will likely result in a short (and bloody) career in the criminal arts. To wit, these two Houston area amateurs:

A store owner opened fire on two suspected robbers, killing one, police said. It happened Saturday night at the J&S Barbecue on Mesa Rd. near Ley Rd. Two men tried to rob the store owner as he was getting into his car, police said. The owner, who is in his 70s, fought back.

While one member of the not-so-dynamic duo was assuming room temperature, the other was last seen running as fast as he could into the night. Don’t look for charges to be filed against the restaurateur as, from all reports, this was a clean cut case of justifiable self defense…not to mention that it happened here in the Lone Star State where ballistic response to criminal intent is a long and cherished tradition.

comments

  1. avatar HM says:

    We are too old to be rolling around on a concrete, gravel, or caliche parking lot. Hence the sidearm.

    1. avatar Gordon in MO says:

      ^^^^^^^
      What HM said!

    2. avatar Red in CO says:

      Gotta love disparity of force laws!

    3. avatar jwm says:

      Damn straight.

  2. avatar Mike says:

    At least one candidate for the Darwin list… one appropriate subtraction from the gene pool.

  3. avatar Benzo says:

    “where ballistic response to criminal intent is a long and cherished tradition” – that’s a great line, Dan! It should be on every “Welcome to Texas” sign along the border…

    1. avatar TrucksNCoffee says:

      ^^^ What Benzo said ^^^

  4. avatar Ralph says:

    Being an old guy is sometimes a good thing. I should know.

  5. avatar Ironhead says:

    Old age and treachery beats youth and enthusiasm.

    1. avatar uncommon_sense says:

      Old age, wisdom, and treachery beats youth and enthusiasm.

      1. avatar Ironhead says:

        Knew I was forgetting something!!!

        1. avatar jwm says:

          That’s common as you get older. Just try to remember to put your pants on before you leave the house.

        2. avatar uncommon_sense says:

          See, JWM proves my point. A young person would not bother to recognize their shortcomings much less devise effective compensation strategies. Old dudes, on the other hand, recognize their shortcomings and compensate accordingly … like putting a large sign on their door that reminds them to wear pants before they leave their home!

      2. avatar Wood says:

        Old age, wisdom, and treachery beats youth and inexperience.

        Fify

  6. avatar Dave Lewis says:

    “I carry a gun because I’m too old to fight. A young guy might kick your ass, but an old man will kill you”

  7. avatar fteter says:

    I’ve eaten at this place. Great food. Stunned that some idiot would try to rob this place and think the owner wouldn’t shoot. The place just screams “old school”.

  8. avatar strych9 says:

    I don’t think old guys, even old guys in Texas are much different from anyone else.

    Generally speaking people in the robbery business are not looking to “pull a 187” and due to how docile your average American is these days the robbery boys rapidly get used to the idea that people roll over and give them what they want. Therefore, robbers are often not prepared to really use force and probably don’t want to. In short, they’re ill prepared for the person that can and will fight back effectively.

    If they really were willing to use force and truly didn’t have any fucks to give they’d walk in and either pistol whip the owner into submission right off the bat or put one in the old guy’s head, take what they want and kill anyone else who even tried to resist. I don’t care if it’s Texas or anywhere else, if they walk in and beat the hell out of or hot someone in the grape as their opening salvo 99.9% of people are going to freeze right then and there due to the shock of the immediate and what most people will consider unnecessary violence.

    If you truly want to make a point you skip the pussyfooting around and go straight to serious violence. Fortunately, most criminals aren’t interested in that.

    1. avatar gerb says:

      there is a difference between desperate criminals and hard line malevolence, just look at all the black home invasions the media is suppressing.. the race war has already started

  9. avatar strych9 says:

    I don’t think old guys, even old guys in Texas are much different from anyone else.

    Generally speaking people in the robbery business are not looking to “pull a 187” and due to how docile your average American is these days the robbery boys rapidly get used to the idea that people roll over and give them what they want. Therefore, robbers are often not prepared to really use force and probably don’t want to. In short, they’re ill prepared for the person that can and will fight back effectively.

    If they really were willing to use force and truly didn’t have any problems with violence they’d walk in and either pistol whip the owner into submission right off the bat or put one in the old guy’s head, take what they want and kill anyone else who even tried to resist. I don’t care if it’s Texas or anywhere else, if they walk in and beat the hell out of or hot someone in the grape as their opening salvo 99.9% of people are going to freeze right then and there due to the shock of the immediate and what most people will consider unnecessary violence.

    If you truly want to make a point you skip the screwing around and go straight to serious violence. Fortunately, most criminals aren’t interested in that.

  10. avatar That's right (you're not from Texas)... says:

    Sign at Texas state border

    Welcome To Texas
    ??
    Don’t mess with Texas
    Our citizens have concealed weapons
    If you kill someone, we will kill you back
    We enjoy gunfights – it’s a Texas tradition
    We have 120 prisons – enjoy your stay

    ?

    1. avatar jwtaylor says:

      And we’ve executed a retarded dude, even after the Pope himself begged the Governor not to. So…stupid ain’t a defense.

  11. avatar Ranger Rick says:

    Texas, leading the nation in the implementation of Capital punishment for senseless violence.

  12. avatar Paul53 says:

    Love his style. Drop one and let the other go to spread the word. If he made both mulch it would be just another back page story.

  13. avatar Lhstr says:

    Lhstr, jeez I’m 76, I better stay in tune. Sign me in for another defendsive class, it never stops! Lets all watch our six.

  14. avatar Johannes Paulsen says:

    It just seems like there might be different places in the nation in which armed robbery might have a higher overall survival rate.

    1. avatar Big Bill says:

      Hawaii?
      Effectively no CCW licenses for the average peon.

  15. avatar jwtaylor says:

    I made up a T-Shirt that summarizes my attitude. It has a revolver on the front and says “Too Old to Run, too Young to Die.”

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