See, this is why we can’t have nice things. That’s Paul F. Smith, above, dressed in his best orange outfit. His neighbor walked outside on Monday only to find a hole in his whip.
Officers were called about 3 p.m. to the 400 block of Center Street in Woodstock for a criminal damage to property complaint, according to a statement from the Woodstock police. The officer determined the vehicle was damaged by a bullet that came from the apartment next door.
Fortunately for the aggrieved car owner, this little incident happened in Chicagoland where gun crimes are always job one. Friday and Gannon were obviously on the job.
Detectives learned a social gathering had been held in one of the apartments on Sunday, and Paul F. Smith intentionally shot a gun at a dart board, police said. The bullet went through a window in the apartment and struck the neighbor’s parked vehicle, which was unoccupied.
Because if you can’t hit the bullseye with a steel tip, you might as well give it a try with your 9mm, amirite? How many Old Styles do you think Paul had put away prior to pulling the trigger?
Smith, 31, of Woodstock, was charged with felony reckless discharge of a firearm and misdemeanor criminal damage to property, police said.
Smith was held on a $20,000 bond. We don’t know if the professor was able to come up with the two grand he needed to get himself back on the street. In any case, he’ll no doubt lose his gun rights. Forever. And the rest of the gun-owning community has lost a little face for having this dim bulb counted amongst us. Maybe he thinks earning our Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day award is worth it. What are the odds?