The winner of last weekend’s holiday edition contest was Bad-Timing. Congrats and happy new year.
“My son. Let me tell you of the Riddle of Steel.”
Fragging wasn’t invented in the 60s.
What the hell do you mean, what is it? It’s a gun, son!
Do _you_ have any idea why this is banned in California, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New York, and Maryland?
“Be still Billy! You’ll scare the rare metallic butterfly… Oh wait, those are my chevrons.”
I’d let you try this rifle, but we’d have to go to an FFL for a background check, whatever the hell that means.
What do you mean “place thumb here” to activate the smart gun?
Are you trying to tell me Rock Hudson once owned this rifle? Getouddaheere!
“Now you take this and prop it up against that tree over there, and I’ll come get it later.”
That explains a lot.
You see this? You think i’m gonna let some stinkin gun grabber take it away from me?
“One day this’ll be Cowboy Tactical”
“Hold the gun TIGHT to yer shoulder, Son, and next time you won’t ruin your brim like that !”
“F troop sent out a scouting party. This is the only trace of ’em we could find…”
Bill Murray checking out the prototype of the original Ghostbusters gun.
“For the last time, Trooper, that’s the shoulder thingy that goes up! What you’re pointing at is the hand thingy that goes down! Why did we ever let the Irish in our army?”
“Dammit Agarn! I told you not to trade your rifle to the Hikowi for booze!”
“It’s a helluva thing… killing a man…”
Look, the Hekawis and the Shuggs have had it with O’rourke and Agarn hittin on their squaws and they’re fuckin serious this time…they’ve got Fort Courage surrounded…it’s up to us to save F Troop!!!
“The pointy end goes that way”
“It’s weird… I just made some lame comments on a blog and they sent me this Winchester!”
“Private, you call this clean?”
“I wish the Army would give us some of these Winchesters, instead of the crap Trapdoors we fight with everyday.”
These would work better if we added a shoulder thing that goes up!
Now listen up… this here is that new winchester lever action assault rifle. It can fire 10 million rounds a second if you use the thing that goes up. It’s deadly accurate at ranges of a thousand miles or more. This part up here???? Oh thats a barrel shroud. You shouldn’t mess with that. That makes it even deadlier. It has a 50,000 round clipazine too.
If you shoot it correctly the recoil and muzzle flash should not give you a temporary case of ptsd.
Did I miss anything?
Yeah, your gun sucks and you’re holding it wrong…
Now, son, for this mission, I’m going to have to send you in undercover. Are you familiar with….”deep concealment?”
This is the end that kills things!
The president elect says we can save lots of money by going back to using these.
See this rifle? It came from the FUTURE!
“That’s right! Where DO you put the dang bullets in?”
But if I don’t load it until Monday how long can I shoot it?
One day they will have powerful pistols with the firepower of this Winchester ’73.
Some good thats gonna do us now Sarge!
Do ya have anything more, I dunno, tactical?
If I am right, this is a gun
Of course it’s worth it! You see that JM stamp?!!
“Must be a Sharps, cuz I cut my thumb on the rear sight.”
“I’m thinking Khyber Pass copy.”
“They had repeaters and outnumbered us. Tell me again how we won?”
Now lean this against a tree and forget about it. In a hundred years when they find it it will drive them nuts as to why it was there.
“They call it a Picatinny rail. I don’t know what it’s for but it’s really cool and I’d like more of them all over the whole gun.”
We can’t shoot all week like our old Sharps rifles.
My father was a gunsmith. The Six Fingered Man commissioned this gun, and my father labored for an entire year to make it perfect in every way. When the Six Fingered Man inspected it, he offered my father half the agreed upon price.
My father refused, and the Six Fingered Man immediately cut him down with his sidearm….
…When I find him, I will say, “hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
I do not shoot left-handed…
Only a matter of time before California figures out how to close the lever-action loophole.
Back in my day boy we killed injuns one shot at a time. Now you got these new fangled shooting irons.Call me old fashioned, but where’s the sport in that?
“MADE IN CROATIA!!!!”
Gee, I don’t know how we’re going to mount a weaponlight OR a red dot!
What does this mean ” Made in Japan by Miroku”
Ouch……… Funny, yet true.
blued steel, coin silver accents, hand checkered black walnut. the grip tape was my idea.
“limited edition ‘redwing boots’ model…”
Okay Sargeant but PLEASE don’t show me your gun again…
“and that thing there spins when you shoot it, helps to keep the barrel from creeping up.”
“so’s it kin chase after them drone thingys.”
“I don’t know why it blew up sarge…”
“Did you put 300 BLK in it again Agarn?!
It’s an exothermic chemical reaction powered kinetic energy weapon.
“shannon watts vibrator.”
Why in the *hell* did you think this was a Pez dispencer.
Well Ralphie that’s one fine Daisy Red Rider ya got for Christmas. Ya know I better keep it for ya, I wouldn’t want ya to shoot your eye out with it.
That there be Tony Curtis so my comment has to be ;
” Some like it hot ” .
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