OMG! Americans! Naming Their Children After Guns! OMG!

baby-laying-on-the-tummy_1

The UK Daily Mirror published a piece sounding the alarm at the rapidly increasing popularity of gun-themed baby names in America. Of course, the piece launches with the number of people who perish from gunshot wounds each day. And fails to mention that at least twice as many defensive gun uses occur.

“In fact, a worryingly significant minority of parents are showing their devotion to the Second Amendment by naming their children after weapons,” Ruth Halkon wrote, as though naming your kid with gun-themed names is a bad thing.

Sorry if Americans are built of sturdier stuff than the average brown-toothed Brit, who’s been conditioned to soil their shorts at anything firearm-related. Like a stray round of ammo. From the York Press:

A STARTLED man has told how he found a bullet lying in a York city-centre street.

Tim Stark said he was unloading items into the MOR Music store where he works in Fossgate yesterday morning when he spotted what he believed to be a live .22 bullet gleaming in a puddle.

He said he immediately called police, who came and took it away.

…A North Yorkshire Police spokesman said the bullet had been put into safe storage, and CID had confirmed it was not thought to be connected with any incident currently under investigation.

But back to the scandalized Ms. Halkon who’s chewing her fingernails in her story in the Mirror.

Babies named after guns on the rise in US despite shooting sprees with thousands following trend

…Gunner is the most popular choice for gun-toting parents, but other names like Trigger, Shooter, Caliber and Pistol are proving popular.

Gunner was given to over 1500 baby boys last year. Taken together with the 750 boys named Gunnar, an authentic Scandinavian name meaning “bold warrior,” it comes among the Top 200 boys’ names.

Her report somehow grew even more shrill with this revelation she shared with readers:

Violent parents are also embracing medieval weapons like Mace, Blade, Saber, Saw, and Dagger for boys as well as Sabre for girls.

Oh noes! But Halkon isn’t done venturing deep into the weeds with this gem at the end:

US baby name blogger and author Laura Wattenberg speculated last year the rise in violent names was due to the gun lobby feeling under threat.

Talk about living in an alternate universe.

While she did mention 31 babies named “Jihad”, somehow she neglected to mention the most popular baby name in Great Britain. Probably jut an oversight.

comments

  1. avatar Geoff PR says:

    H’mm.

    Would ‘Galil’ be a male or female name?

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      I could see ‘Kimber’ as a nice female name…

      1. avatar theguyfromidaho says:

        My cousin and his wife named their Daughter Kimber. So far I think I’m the only one that’s noticed.

        1. avatar Larry says:

          Kimber is short for Kimberly

        2. avatar 16V says:

          As long as you don’t name your kid after a radio station – I wish I were making this up…

          25+ years ago I was hanging out at a radio station with a friend who was on-air talent. I think he threw out “the most interesting story gets a t-shirt” or some such. After the usual crowd of women offering to do pretty much anything to sleep with the DJ, we got a guy who called in. He said that he named his daughter “Kayshe”. (KSHE is the callsign). We were absolutely frakkin’ dying laughing, and I think the ante was raised if he actually brought the birth certificate.

          Showed up the next night with the paper in hand.

        3. avatar Warren says:

          We might be connected. My brother in law has a daughter by that name, not short for anything. His wife very much wanted to avoid anything gun-related (can’t really say why without doxxing anyone, but they’re not even remotely anti-gun), but he “forgot” Kimber was very much a gun name. It’s amusing when it gets brought up, but otherwise it’s no big deal and everyone just goes on with their day.

        4. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

          Kim is short for Kimberly. Kimber is medium for Kimberly.
          Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk….

        5. avatar 61north says:

          If your cousin lives in Alaska, then I took my CCW class from him. I asked if they had any kids named Ruger or Glock, but they don’t.

      2. avatar David says:

        I knew someone with a dog named Kimber. I believe it was a female dog, if that helps.

      3. avatar Ryan says:

        That was my immediate reaction to the headline

      4. avatar AdamTA1 says:

        My grandfathers name was Kimber. As the firearm manufacturer was founded the year I was born I don’t believe he was named after them though. My sisters name is Kimberlee deriving from my grandfather.

    2. avatar YZAS says:

      Boy. Means ‘rolling hills’ in Hebrew

      http://www.babynamespedia.com/meaning/Galil

      1. avatar CarlosT says:

        Hmm. “Rolling hills” kinda says girl to me.

        1. avatar Geoff PR says:

          Oh, those wonderful valleys… 🙂

        2. avatar Ad Astra says:

          “She’s got huge…tracts of land.”

        3. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

          I just want to… sing…

        4. avatar LKB says:

          Stop that . . . stop that . . . NO SINGING ! !

        5. avatar FedUp says:

          My Hills Are Alive…With The Sound of Music…

          Back to the subject, I’ve seen a few boy Hunters and one girl Hunter here in the frosty midwest.

          Is Beretta a female or male name?
          EDIT:Beretta James is a female…

    3. avatar YZAS says:

      I kinda like Stoeger for a boy

      1. avatar Darren P. says:

        We’re do you think “Steyr” would fit in? (If I spelled it correctly) Boy or girls name? Regardless, I think it would make a great name for a child. Unlike “Sig” hehe

    4. avatar BDub says:

      My wife Destructive D’Vice, is a bit hard on the eyes, but she can cook.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        Bet she’s loud, too.

        1. avatar Larry says:

          Reminds me of the song from the sixties….”Never make a Pretty Woman Your Wife”.

          “Hey man, I saw your wife the other day. She uglyyy!

          “She may be ugly but she shore can cook!

    5. avatar BDub says:

      I’m still partial to naming fraternal twins Gustav and Dora.

  2. avatar YZAS says:

    “violent parents”???

    lol, what a hysterical hoplophobe. Get a grip lady. and brush your damn teeth. your dental health will be a bigger risk to you over your lifetime than any child’s name in America or any shiny .22 round laying in a puddle.

    1. avatar Nigel the Duelist says:

      Yes, that line caught my attention as well.

      This is a hallmark of progressive thought: “If you own a gun, you fantasize about killing people”, “If you name your baby after a weapon, or weapon sport, you are a violent misanthrope who should be whipped in the village square until you return to a ‘correct’ way of thinking” (Okay, that last one got a bit out of hand…heh)

  3. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

    Hello, my name is Wesson N. Smith…

  4. avatar Bill says:

    So… If I name my child 1911….

    1. avatar BDub says:

      Better go with John Moses.

      1. avatar Button Gwinnett says:

        upvote^

  5. avatar TyrannyOfEvilMen says:

    Well, when you believe that inanimate objects are actually responsible for violence, the world is indeed a scary place! ?

    I don’t know how they sleep at night.

  6. avatar Timmy! says:

    I can see it now… class roll call in sixteen years:
    “Luger?
    “Here.”
    “Saiga?”
    “Here.”
    “Webbley? Webbly? Has anyone seen Webbley Fosbery?”
    “Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Webbley pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.”

    1. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

      The correct answer is ‘Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act’.

    2. avatar Clint Flintlock says:

      Save Ferris!

    3. avatar Geoff PR says:

      “I can see it now… class roll call in sixteen years:
      “Luger?”

      Ferris Bueller lives…

    4. avatar Jim Macklin says:

      At today’s prices I can’t see anybody just throwing a live .22 cartridge away.
      I read somewhere, sometime ago, during the early days of firearms, Gunhilda was shortened to gun.

      But a Marine knows…
      This is my rifle, this is my gun—-

  7. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

    Come see our beautiful new twin baby girls, Hi-Power and Emwun!

    1. avatar Warren says:

      I had to say that one out loud to get it… it’s still early for me.

  8. avatar NorincoJay says:

    More people have been killed in France from mass public killings in 2015 then in the US during 7 years of Obamas presidency. And the US population is almost 5 times larger! Chew on that

    1. avatar jsf001 says:

      I think that’s per person not total

    2. avatar Cliff H says:

      Charlie Hebdoe = 12
      Theater (and other locations) = @128
      Nice = 85

      That’s 225 just off the top of my head. Can you come up with that many in America in the last 7 years? The Pulse was “only” 49, and it was the biggest such event in modern U.S. History.

      1. avatar FedUp says:

        “The Pulse was “only” 49, and it was the biggest such event in modern U.S. History.”

        Either because the Bath School Massacre was not a mass shooting, or because you mean modern is post-WWII. (the perp in Bath knew that bombs are WMDs and guns aren’t. The Columbine idiots knew it too, but were too stupid to create a combustible mix with their fuel-air bomb, if they’d gotten that right the gymnasium might have become a blast crater)

  9. avatar LarryinTX says:

    All weapons have nicknames. Those dropped or launched by aircraft were intimate knowledge of Forward Air Controllers in Vietnam. I had told the bride “no kids until I get back”, so here we go. “What do you want to name our son?” Me: “Nelson Alexander Pxxx”, initials NAP, nickname Nape!” As in, Snake and nape, the most common alert load for F-4 Phantoms in Vietnam. She eventually let me back in the house. I accused her of being unreasonable, I had, all by myself, given up the idea of naming a daughter “Snake Ingrid”, since it finally got through to me that I would be naming a girl after a 500 lb retarded bomb, “Snakeye”.

    OTOH, what difference could that make to a UK newsrag?

    1. avatar LarryinTX says:

      Struck me I never did explain that name. “N.A.Palm” Napalm, get it? 750 lb cans of flaming jellied gasoline! Sailing toward the jungle at 450 knots. A manly name! At least the bride didn’t hit me.

      1. avatar neiowa says:

        After you had kids did you call her Duece? (Ma Duece)

    2. avatar justin says:

      No Willy Pete?

  10. avatar Adub says:

    So I should name my next kids Glock, Sig, Springfield, and Taurus? A bigger family would allow for Colt, Smith, and Wesson. And Ruger.

    Keltec would be the kid that nobody remembers seeing…

    1. avatar CarlosT says:

      Keltec is the one that keeps breaking dishes, washing colors with whites, forgets to do his homework…

      1. avatar 16V says:

        Los, I thought that was Jimenez and his sister Raven….

        1. avatar Swarf says:

          Yeah, young Keltec just occasionally wanders in to the family room, tells you all about a cool idea and wanders off.

          And then his front sight falls off.

        2. avatar mach37 says:

          My KelTec does none of those things.

      2. avatar Darren P. says:

        And then there is “Hipoint” whom just sits in his room drooling………..

    2. avatar justin says:

      Are you expecting Taurus to go off unexpectedly?

    3. avatar Button Gwinnett says:

      OK, I laughed at this thread. A few times. But my PF9 goes bang every time, just like my Hi Point carbine.

  11. avatar CarlosT says:

    “I’d like you to meet my daughter, Fabrique Nationale.”

  12. avatar strych9 says:

    A few years back there was a spate of people naming their children Espn (pronounced Ess-pin) because of… you guessed it ESPN.

    I’d rather be named after a gun than be named after a sports channel. At least the gun name would signify some level of intelligence on the part of one parent. A name like Espn suggests your dad probably likes to tailgate rather hard and embarrass your family with his fandom and that mommy is totally OK with that level of stupidity.

    1. avatar CarlosT says:

      I heard that some people in Colombia liked the name Usnavy, because they were inspired by what they saw on the side of those impressive ships.

    2. avatar NorincoJay says:

      I called an ex girlfriend Ma Deuce. But not to her face.

    3. avatar Cliff H says:

      If you had a really big family you could name one kid Esspinate, nickname “Theocho”

      1. avatar Blake G says:

        F**kin Chuck Norris!

      2. avatar strych9 says:

        I bet he or she would be good at dodging wrenches…

  13. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

    A friend of mine works with someone who named their children Remington and Ruger. My wife named her new kitten Rudy so I’ve dubbed him Rudy Ruger.

    1. avatar lightfoot says:

      My latest grandson is named Remington. Remi for short.

  14. avatar JasonM says:

    Reading the part about the guy calling the cops after finding a .22 round made me die a little inside.

  15. avatar pwrserge says:

    Pretty sure that when the #1 baby boy name in England is Mohammed, they don’t really get a vote.

    1. avatar hellofromillinois says:

      Its the most popular name on the planet. Get over it.

  16. avatar Kendahl says:

    The UK article is ludicrous. Unfortunately, there are parents who saddle their children with inappropriate names that are a source of embarrassment for their entire lives. Maybe, they want the kids to become good fighters.

    1. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

      Sue.

      1. avatar Cliff H says:

        I’d love to, but I don’t think I have standing.

        1. avatar jwm says:

          If you had not said it I would have.

        2. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

          No, a boy named Sue.

    2. avatar Mac says:

      Like Tz’Elaky Snowflake? No kidding. Whole family has children named like that. Poor things.

      1. avatar mach37 says:

        It oughta be illegal to use punctuation marks in names; only alphabet letters and spaces. Well, and hyphens; “-” would be okay. But that’s it!

  17. avatar CTstooge says:

    Named our kid “R-51”. He turned out to have special needs…

  18. avatar chris says:

    Have a friend who just named his newborn son “Colt”.

    1. avatar LKB says:

      My nephew is named Colt. Not surprisingly, his father was (OK, “is,” because “there are no former”) a Marine.

  19. avatar Missouri Mule says:

    Remington and Kimber are very popular at the middle school I teach at!

  20. avatar kevin says:

    You want violent? Check out a list of Roller Derby names.

  21. avatar Scottlac says:

    Nobody names their new baby “Hi-Point”. I wonder why? Weatherby would be nice but all the gun muggle kids would be asking him for the temperature and forecast.

    Beretta would be a nice girl’s name.

  22. So who’s side are we gonna’ take in the next war? The one where Mohammed is the most popular nom de plume? I know Bristol Palin’s baby daddy named his kid “Beretta”…has a nice Italian ting to it LOL

    1. avatar FedUp says:

      Breeze Beretta Johnston, whose father was still single at 21 years old, with two kids from two girlfriends. If anybody can talk young Mr Johnston into a vasectomy I’ll chip in $100 towards the cost.

  23. avatar jwm says:

    Rimfire is a good, manly name for a boy. Same with caplock.

    Centerfire might not be a good name for a girl. Or smoothbore.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      If she was named smallbore, she would be *very* popular…

      *snicker*

  24. avatar Mr. AR says:

    A’sawlt Ri’file
    BlunderBess
    The twins: Over and Under

    Rick Derringer drops the mic

  25. avatar BLAMMO says:

    Hello?

    Lance?

    Not a new idea.

    Or is that now relegated only to porn stars?

    1. avatar 16V says:

      Friends with John E. Depth if memory serves….

  26. avatar Racer88 says:

    My son’s name is Gunnar. With an “a.” A lot of people mistakenly / ignorantly assume his name is related to my interest in firearms. Ummm… no. Happy coincidence. First… it’s a VERY common Nordic name. And, in our case, it was suggested by my wife, as she knew someone by that name when she was a child… and liked the name. Of course, when she suggested it to me, I was instantly on board… not because of the happy coincidence. I liked it because it was not common (here in the U.S.), and it was very masculine and strong. 🙂 Some day he’s going to be a famous hockey player. 🙂

    1. avatar mach37 says:

      Ricky Nelson named one of his twin sons Gunnar. Nelson was a Swedish name in the family line.

  27. avatar Ralph says:

    I understand that the name Henry is popular even in England. Not as popular as Mohammad, but still popular.

    For a girl, Star works well.

    And for the cat, how about Mauser?

    1. avatar Oldshooter says:

      I just had to put down one of my cats, named. “Indiana Jones” but his brother, named RPG (for his behavior) is still living with me and still living up to his name. He’s a 24 pound black and white machine of destruction!

  28. avatar Chadwick says:

    Really? What guy hasn’t gone out with a girl named Kimber before?

  29. avatar michael freeman says:

    my boys Strum , Ruger and Colt don’t even realize it but my son AR is a little suspicious .

  30. avatar bastiches says:

    Volquartsen would be magnificent.

  31. avatar jwm says:

    I haven’t named any kids after guns. I just wish I could have gotten a silencer for my first wife.

  32. avatar Nanashi says:

    Surprised nobody has suggested “Owen” yet.

    Some of these names are pretty bad, but not for the subject matter. Sullivan, Mosin, Nagant, Wesson, Sten, Sterling, Tommy, Lee, Webley, Vepr, Saiga, Beryl, Ace, and Henry would be pretty good names.

    On the otherside of the pacific, my list of jouyou kanji says 銃 (“gun”) is legal for names, even giving 銃砲 (Juhou, “gun”),銃弾 (Judan, “bullet”) and 小銃 (shouju, “small arms”) as examples. None of the pronouncations find people with those as names, and something tells me the kanji would be pulled from the list if someone actually used them.

    1. avatar Nanashi says:

      Was looking at wrong list. Those are not valid.

    2. avatar mach37 says:

      A bell just rang in my head – my first name, Merwin, would be good in this context. Otherwise, I have hated it my whole life.

    3. avatar Scoutino says:

      I would hate to be named Vepr. It means ‘pig’ where it came from.

  33. avatar Frank says:

    Let me introduce my son Bushmaster.

    1. avatar 16V says:

      I love it, except no longer relevant. Other than women who hate men/sex, or women who live in a cave, there hasn’t been grass on the field more than an odd landing strip/Hitler moustache since the mid-80s.

      1. avatar Button Gwinnett says:

        You don’t have access to the Internet?

  34. avatar Chad says:

    Tim Stark has the same last name as Tony Stark. Stark Enterprises makes military weapons. OMG!

  35. avatar Mercutio says:

    I blame Bruce Willis AKA “Remington Steele”

    1. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

      You’re thinking of Pierce Brosnan. Bruce Willis was Moonlighting.

      1. avatar Mercutio says:

        I can be forgiven for not equating Brosnan with “steel”

  36. avatar bLoving says:

    Baby Browning?
    Baby Eagle?
    Oooh! Grandpa Nambu, Papa Nambu and Baby Nambu! Three generations! I win!

  37. avatar Stu in AZ says:

    My girlfriend knows a family who named their kids the following: Hunter, Fisher, Gunner, and twin girls Remington and Lexington.

    1. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

      Lexington and Concord would be pretty good patriotic names for twins.

  38. avatar Silphy says:

    Also overlooking that Sabre is a name of a character in a very popular anime, fate stay night.

    1. avatar jsf001 says:

      Well technically Saber is not her name, but the name of the class of fighter she is. Still I think it’s a pretty good name for a girl.

  39. avatar B says:

    Britain and the EU have slit their own throats, they just haven’t realized they are bleeding out yet. At this rate, looks like Briexit might be the last gasp of a once great empire.

  40. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

    My buddy the retired tanker named one of his dogs Sabot.

  41. avatar LKB says:

    The guy I train with (former SAS doorkicker) would probably have named one of his sons “MP5” if he could have gotten away with it. Not kidding . . . his devotion to H&K’s legendary ironwork knows few bounds.

  42. avatar CPC says:

    I went to elementary school with a girl named Remington 60 years ago.

  43. avatar DaveL says:

    I bet you there are more than a couple Bren Gunns floating around the UK today. A lot had changed in a couple of generations.

  44. avatar iz srpskog says:

    In yugoslavia after WW 2 popular name for kids be Kalasnjikov

    1. avatar Button Gwinnett says:

      +1

  45. avatar Kimberwarrior45 says:

    My son’s names are Spencer, Remington, Colton, and an adopted one is named Parker Magnum. Only the last one was named such on purpose (for a firearm) but I do like how it turned out.

  46. avatar Bryan says:

    Sig Sauer Shatter-shield, if it’s a boy. Fabrique Nationale Sword Maiden, if it’s a girl.

  47. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    As long as you aren’t going too far and naming your son “Ramrod” or your daughter “Butt Stock”, you should be fine.

  48. avatar Cuteandfuzzybunnies says:

    Decent baby gun names :

    Ruger
    Wesson
    Colt
    Browning
    Signund ( call him sig for short)

    Weatherby
    Herstal
    Walther

    Trigger is NOT on the list. Nor is shooter or caliber.

    Maybe Case

  49. avatar Jp says:

    Co worker named his sons Barrett and colt. Daughters names are Kimber and Corey (core rifle systems)

  50. avatar Cloudbuster says:

    Ricky Bobby: Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my red-hot smokin’ wife, Carley.

  51. avatar justin says:

    They probably don’t remember UT quarterback Colt McCoy.
    But the family got lazy and named his brother after what they kept the colt in, Case McCoy.

  52. avatar Aldo says:

    Nobody going for Tanfoglio?

  53. avatar Tym O'Byrne says:

    I named my cat Bisley, so sue me!

  54. avatar Rimfire says:

    Marlin Perkins approves this message

  55. avatar Justin says:

    I named my beagle Sherman after the tank. Small, fast, lightly armed and the bark is worse than the bite.

  56. avatar Justin says:

    I named my beagle Sherman after the tank. Small, fast, lightly armed and the bark is worse than the bite. I was going to get a German Shepherd and name him tiger.

  57. avatar Mercutio says:

    I suppose traditionalists might name their first son M1. Might wanna quit before M16, tho….

  58. avatar justaman says:

    Who cares what the brits think.

  59. avatar Button Gwinnett says:

    “This is my son, Kalash…”

  60. avatar V H A says:

    My dogs were named Colt, Jericho, and Kimber. And yes, they were all named after firearms.

    When I wanted my first dog, my wife said you can have a dog or a new gun, but we can’t afford both. So . . .

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