I can’t tell you how many times people have suggested that I show my daughter’s future boyfriends one or more of my guns. More precisely, to casually handle the firearm in front of him. It’s a joke, right? Related, perhaps, to the concept of a shotgun wedding.

Now I don’t know if there’s anyone stupid enough to actually do this. Not in today’s world, where hoplophobic anti-gunners are out there, somewhere. Maybe walking into your house with acne and a hidden attitude. And it’s definitely a no-no in states where gun rights go to die (e.g., New Jersey).

That said, one might let slip one’s interest in firearms in polite conversation. But showing someone a gun as an implied threat? Not a good idea. Not at home. Not anywhere.

Unless it’s a bad guy, of course. But remember: unless you are in imminent, credible danger of grievous bodily harm or death; or carrying a gun openly where it’s legal to do so; or doing your gun thing in a gun store or gun range or amongst ballistic BFFs, simply displaying a weapon may be considered unlawful brandishing. A crime.

This “discretion is the better part of staying out of a police interrogation room” rule applies equally to visiting neighbors. “If a burglar breaks into my house, he’s going to regret it. Check this out.” Check out anyone’s position on gun rights before showing them a gun. Just sayin’ . . .

59 Responses to Guns for Beginners: Don’t Show Your Daughter’s Boyfriends Your Guns — Unless He Asks Nicely

  1. I thought this was the reason that you “just happen to be” cleaning your guns at the time the young man comes to visit.

    Not a dad, so I wouldn’t know. Twenty years ago, I did “happen to be” cleaning my rifle when my sister’s boyfriend visited the house.

    There is certainly no threat implied by a bunch of scattered gun parts laying on a table. At the same time, the young man knows that the young woman’s male relatives are armed.

    • I sometimes home carry. And when I’m doing that, it’s sometimes carried openly. Maybe that’s the ticket?

      Of course, acting in a threatening manner to a young man is probably just a good way of sparking a daughter’s romantic interest in that person. So maybe RF has a point.

    • Nicely put, however, I suggest that rather than showing your daughter’s boyfriend your guns it would be a great idea to show your daughter’s boyfriend HER guns.

      • I sort of did that several years back. Driving my daughter and her boyfriend to school, I suddenly remembered the new stock for her Ruger had come in the day before. She was thrilled, the boyfriend was not. He became scarce after that.

  2. I know someone local who did just that about 20 years back.

    The parents had some rebellion issues with her, and was dating guys the parents didn’t approve of.

    So, how did it work? Not as well as they hoped.

    Daughter got into drugs and alcohol pretty heavily, and she ended up a ‘dancer’ at a Tamps titty bar.

    One fine morning, she woke up to find her boyfriend dead of a drug overdose in bed next to her.

    Her step-dad, the gun cleaner, was an insufferable fvckwit at the lab I worked at at the time…

  3. When I was young in the hills back home it wasn’t unheard of for a shotgun wedding to happen. Now that I’m old and living in CA I don’t threaten people. If I pull my gun it ain’t a threat. If I’m going to jail it won’t be for saber rattling.

    • Have you guy(s) considered writing your own small blog where you (all) could go into a lot more details of the daily lives of Internet “badazz(s)? I would personally find it fascinating. Just throwing it out there…

      • “I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience.” -Patrick Henry

        The interesting thing about humans is that we can learn from the experiences of other people and animals rather than just from our own experiences. That’s something you might think on. In fact, I’d recommend that you do just that.

  4. Never show, discuss, or even mention your guns unless you are sure that you are among people of like mind–One should never even be the first one to bring the subject of guns up–watch your words and actions very carefully around this most sensitive and delicate topic–it can only come back to hurt you. DMD

    • If I don’t bring it up, and you don’t bring it up, how will it ever come up? Wait until we happen to run into each other at the gun counter or range?

    • DMD,

      I don’t know where you live, but where I live, guns are legal. So I don’t hide the fact that I own them, shoot them and protect myself with them.

      Some people may be shocked to learn that, because I have all my teeth, wear a suit & tie to work every day and didn’t marry my cousin. In other words, you can let people believe the stereotypes or you can be walking proof that the stereotypes are wrong.

      If that’s not your thing, so be it. But I don’t see any downside to letting people know I’m a gun guy.

  5. Reminds me of the old joke: Dad lobs a 12ga shell to the kid underhand. As he catches it, dad says they move a lot faster after my daughter’s curfew.

    • My father in law handed me a 12 gauge shell when I asked him to marry his daughter. He then informed me that he would use it on me if I hurt his daughter. And he would. And I didnt take it as a microaggression and retreat to my safe space. Kids these days are pu**ies. And Im not that old.

  6. I have the reloading gear out in my office mounted on the desk. My son is far young from the dating age, but if any girl knows what it is and/or can use its production she’ll get bonus points in my book. If I had a daughter her boyfriend would also qualify for such bonus points. In a world where we can’t hardly get off our cell phones that qualifies as an accomplishment to me.

  7. Sure, show your daughter’s boyfriend your guns, so he and his friends will know which home to burglarize to try to steal some.

    Op Sec. It’s a thing.

    • Worst one I ever heard: criminal boyfriend drops by when the family is gone.
      Parks his Jeep out back under the master bedroom window. Uses Jeep to pull gun safe THROUGH the wall, drags it down the street to the welder’s shop, breaks into the welder’s shop, leaves the empty torched-open safe there. Boyfriend arrested, guns never recovered.

      Must be fun having a 4’x6′ hole in the side of your house where your gun safe left in a hurry.

  8. Honestly, if you’re showing someone as an implied threat you’re an idiot and not an R.G.O. (see earlier story today).

    The reason not to let some kid know you have guns is because you don’t want that information circulating at the high school. Your daughter’s boyfriend may be an upstanding citizen but some of the people that information gets to may not be.

    If it gets out that Mr. X has guns some less than savory people might show up at your house looking for quick cash and now maybe you just shot a couple dumbass teenagers. That will ruin your day.

  9. Nah. Little shits these days only understand one thing, and that’s fear. You’re right though, don’t show, mention, or discuss guns. But when he comes over have a freshly used chainsaw in your hand you just used to cut up the the boar you just shot so you used a Jason mask to protect your face from the blood splatter that now covers your body. The point will be driven home I assure you.

    • I like it but you have to time it right so you can say “Come here boy, put on these safety glasses and this painter’s smock. I need you to hold this back leg for me.” right before you fire up the chainsaw again.

  10. I actually had a boyfriend of my oldest daughter tell me that if she got pregnant he would marry her. I told him I would never allow that to happen. When he asked why I told him I didn’t want her to be a widow at age 16. We had 3 daughters and they were all over 21 and out of the house when they married. No gun required.

  11. Please, I’m not some criminal who goes around casually threatening people with guns. I’m just a humble engineer.

    With a quarter million bees.

    And an imagination.

    • Jesus. We might need bee control!

      When I was living in Ohio I came to know a species of wasp known as the “cicada killer”. Extremely aggressive with a sting more painful than bees or normal wasps. Did we spray ’em with poison? Hell no! We got a net and caught a ton of them and put them in a jar. We referred to the jar as the “cicada killer bomb”. Piss us off and we’ll unscrew the lid and put this thing in your car.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sphecius_speciosus

  12. No daughters(that I know of!) but I think showing off your firearms with any kind of implied threat is crazy. As mentioned the punk could retaliate or try to steal your stash. I WISH my 1st father in law had threatened me. I could have saved mucho bucks in childsupport Lol.

  13. That old joke/theme drives me nuts. It may have been funny some decades ago, but it’s old and stupid now.

    I’m not totally opposed to humor about violence, but “hurr, hurr, I’ll show that punk and uphold my daughter’s honor by nearly-brandishing” is fantastical crap. I feel pity for whoever gets a charge out if saying it or the idea.

  14. I know a guy who, upon first meeting his daughter’s boyfriend, tossed a shot shell to him with the simple message of “it moves a lot faster after 10:30”. While effective, I always thought he was lucky that the boy’s parents weren’t the type to freak out.

  15. Heck, I’ve had people as to see my artillery and refused. I really don’t like gettin’ ’em out just to show. And if it’s not someone I’d trust with my stuff and my life, why show them valuable stuff with particular legal responsibility tied to it?

  16. My FIL did this the first time. I just said that they need to be cleaned, and pulled out mine and said don’t worry she will be real safe. The look on his face was priceless.

    • Nice. Part of why I see the near-brandishing thing as pitiful: Is it not fudds, wannabes and chairborne commandos who’d do such a thing or find it cute?* People with delusions of being the establishment in some social order. Blustering, ineffectual Gun Culture 1.0 guys.

      *excuse me for implying this of your father-in-law, but apparently you were able to over-awe him…

  17. I think the best way to do this is get something you did or have gotten custom work on or is otherwise worth talking about (but are OK with letting them touch, so no antiques) and ask what they think of it.

    • Hopefully BJJ and not JJJ…

      BJJ is specifically meant for people who are smaller and not as strong, JJJ has a lot of stuff that’s meant to overpower using muscular strength.

      This reminds me I need to wash my Gi…

  18. A gent I met once always ensured that a daughter’s date would see a piece of equipment they used regularly.
    Never had a problem, he told me.
    Oh, the equipment in question was what they used on the ranch to turn young bulls into steers.
    He also let know that the daughter was experienced in using the equipment.
    ?

  19. Once drove @4 hours for a summer visit to a college girlfriend. After an evening of “fun”, she advised me that she had to work that next day for a few hours, but I could hang out with her (Vietnam vet) dad, who was going to some local thing in the morning. The “local thing” turned out to be a gun show that was nearly an hour+ drive away.

    I was into guns a little at the time, so we got along okay, but it was somewhat posturing and turned me off. And it was intimidating mainly because that dude was half nuts.

  20. This concept of showing off guns to scare off your daughter’s boyfriends is a farce. If you really want to scare them off, I suggest the following:
    Speak with a lisp.
    Smile a lot with long periods of quiet eye contact.
    Offer him some stawberries, a back rub and champagne or Nyquil.
    Lots of “appropriate” touching, both of him and yourself.
    Bath robe, socks and sandals.
    Coffee table book on the history of Greek bath houses.

    That should do it.

  21. This is anti-gun propaganda. My grandma has seen this show for years and I have a friend from mexico who was hired as an actress for this show once. they fly people from latin countries to “reenact” a case. This has an agenda to it, plus Telemundo is a left wing channel.

    • Is Telemundo the channel who used to have that Jerry Springer knock-off named Fernando? I once saw an episode where Fernando tried to mediate some sort of family dispute. When his efforts failed, he pulled out the psychic. And then when the psychic apparently failed, he brought out luchadores to take sides and posture/fight with each other.

      I only saw one episode 15 years ago when I was visiting Texas, but American TV talk shows died for me that day.

    • That’s what I was thinking. The whole story line sounds over the top, scripted to hit every stereotype and get an emotional reaction. War hero, “gun nut” dad probably PTSD, Cuban immigrant daughter looking to step out on her own, now that she’s used her relativeability to get to the US, with her Arab boyfriend. It’s obviously actors playing too predicable roles to be real.

      • I actually thought it seemed very fair.
        The judge even said “guns are never the problem” and encouraged the girl to visit a shooting range with her dad to learn how to defend herself.
        The father himself admitted he had a problem with the Arab guy because he looked like the guy who killed his friend in Iraq. Based on that I agree he needs help.

        Scripted or not I don’t see this as leftwing propaganda.

        • It might have been fair. I didn’t watch the whole thing, I stopped watching when I was convinced it wasn’t real.

  22. I had this happen to me when I was in college and dating a girl. First time I went over, her father was ‘cleaning his guns’ on the dinner table. Instead of crapping myself, I looked at him and said “Cool, is that a custom 1911?” He smiled and started showing me his whole collection. Girlfriend was mad; ended up late for dinner

  23. When my daughter was first dating her now husband, we were having problem with crows chasing away the song birds at the feeders. My solution was to shoot one or two, which would keep them away for a week or more. It so happened the crows showed up while the suitor was making his first visit. I excused myself, took the .410 outside and shot a crow, carried it across the lawn to the burn pile, and came back in the house and put the shotgun away. No words necessary. No threats. Just a friendly demonstration.

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