BREAKING: TSA/DHS Propose Authorized Concealed Carry Program

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In conjunction with the Department of Homeland Security, the Transportation Security Administration has just announced a proposal to allow armed Americans onto scheduled domestic flights. The Authorized Concealed Carry Program (ACCP) will create a new class of trained and approved concealed carry permit holders who will be allowed to carry on airplanes . . .

“The terrorist attack in Brussel highlights the need for a radical change in thinking,” TSA Director Troy McLure told a skeptical Washington press corps. “We need an effective deterrent for terrorists that extends beyond the security checkpoints and onto planes . . . Expanding the Air Marshall program would cost billions of taxpayer dollars, and only provide a marginal improvement to the safety of the American traveler.”

“The ACCP would be a force multiplier for Homeland Security,” DHS Director Sojahsay Johnson added. “We’ll be working with the FBI to select, background check and train qualified Americans who travel regularly. We’ll provide them with the skills they need to safely and discreetly carry firearms on domestic flights — and use them to defend against terrorist attack if needed —  without putting fellow passengers at risk.”

“Airplanes are the least armed slice of society most Americans encounter; the results are self evident,” McClure insisted. “While we anticipate some resistance to the ACCP, we don’t want to wait until another Brussels-style attack to take positive actions to ensure the safety of American airplane passengers.”

The Standing Committee on Public Safety and National Security is due to hear testimony on the proposal sometime next week.

 

Publication date: 4/1/16

comments

  1. avatar 10mm says:

    April Fools!

    1. avatar Jeff in CO says:

      +1!!!!!!!!!

    2. avatar Model 31 says:

      Yep, I fell for it long enough to think…Brussel…concealed carry vs. suicide bomber…then I thought TSA, could be true.

    3. avatar Joe says:

      At first read… Troy McLure.. wait a minute- from the Simpsons!

      1. avatar JasonM says:

        You may know him from such April Fool’s jokes as…

  2. avatar Matt Richardson says:

    This has to be a troll of epic proportions

  3. avatar Achmed says:

    LOL – yeah

  4. avatar passthebrass says:

    100% true! As long as you’re an air marshal lol.

  5. avatar josh says:

    If today was 31st I’d still call bs haha

  6. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Now I’m going to click on “27 family photos that went wrong”…

    1. avatar Rick the Bear says:

      There’s some funny stuff there. 8>)

    2. avatar Roscoe says:

      Certainly that will load faster than this site does on any computer I use.

  7. avatar Wendy says:

    Didnt you do the same joke last year?

    1. avatar JohnO_inTX says:

      I think last year was the “Obama to Re-open Full-Auto Registration.”

  8. avatar Jodas says:

    Troy McLure was one of Phil Hartman’s characters on the Simpsons. April Fools.

    1. avatar Tim says:

      Hi, my name’s Troy McClure! You may remember me from other prank articles such as…

      1. avatar bryan1980 says:

        Yeah, as soon as I saw that name, I knew it was an April Fool’s!

  9. avatar Michael says:

    Roflol

  10. avatar Mr. 308 says:

    Maybe it’s just me but I never liked this internet Apr 1 tradition…

    I’ll spend day in the workshop or reloading or something else I suppose.

    Have fun.

    1. avatar WhiteRussianSP says:

      +1

  11. avatar Milsurp Collector says:

    When I read the headline, I thought TSA agents were now allowed to carry on the job and was properly terrified. I’ve never been happier to read a good April Fools joke.

  12. avatar Johannes Paulsen says:

    TSA Director Troy McLure – you may remember him from earlier TSA proposals such as “LASERs on Sharks: Why Not?” and “Don’t give the finger to the guy who does Body Cavity Searches”.

    1. avatar Dave says:

      Sharks with freakin laser beams!

      1. avatar LarryinTX says:

        Inside a body cavity?

  13. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    The Federal gov’t not wanting to expand a federal program… There was your tell.

  14. avatar Landon says:

    “You may remember me from such April fools jokes as ‘Barak Obama teaches concealed carry class’ and ‘Hillary Clinton marches with Open Carry Texas’.”

  15. avatar notalima says:

    Damn you 😉

    Excited for 2.1 seconds…then remembered what day it was. heh.

  16. avatar Texheim says:

    Didn’t even read after last years bogus ATF tax stamp joke

  17. Hi, I’m Troy McLure. You might remember me from such trolling masterpieces as Republican Convention Open Carry, Trump 2016, @robwhisman, Obama’s “executive orders”, and the Moon landings.

  18. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    I was going to joke that Pegasus Airlines would be the pilot program for this, but it turns out that’s actually a real airline.

  19. avatar Gregolas says:

    You had me for 2 sentences…..

  20. avatar Chadwick P. says:

    Yeah that is totally believable if it were to obtain a permit to film a terror attack on an airplane instead of fight against one…

  21. avatar Vickie says:

    If u have u got sick in the head can u tack the class

  22. avatar Libertarian says:

    april april but principle pessange should be able after an maximum restriction of an weekend course to carry on airplanes.
    If see the case here of the bastard Andreas Lubitz and in the us the 9-11 it s realy needet thats passenger are armed and not one person should have the power to lock the doors alone !!
    But the hard reality is that a lof of one person suckers as joe straus (texas) ore Diaz de la Portilla (florida) can stopped all bills as an fat dicatator that lives in north korea …………
    Back the powered to the people stoped the gouverment !!

  23. avatar Newshawk says:

    If only…

  24. avatar Brianflys says:

    Please leave the lies to Bloomberg. I come here for the truth.

    “April Fools” is a curse on the internet.

    1. avatar Lucas D says:

      +1 to this. I feel sorry for anyone who may have to deliver genuine bad news to me on April 1st, because I suspend all credulity to avoid the kind of “jokes” that “hilarious” people like to “tell” on that date.

      And here’s a tip for those folks: Developing an authentic sense of humor takes a lot of work, I know, but accept no substitutes; it’s ultimately far more rewarding than setting aside one day per year to lie to people.

      1. avatar WRH says:

        Well said.

  25. avatar Ryan says:

    Ahhhh….what a headline ,”the federal government in a dramatic turn of events now supports the Constitutional right of every American removing all gunfree zone signs and has started a training program for all who wish to attend, national reciprocity has been enacted and millions of responsibly armed Americans every celebrate”.

    1. avatar Wrightl3 says:

      Can a man not dream?

  26. avatar Mr Pierogie says:

    Oh, funny… And I know who’s going to implement this program: Nick Leghorn. The same guy who agrees with the TSA on never allowing guns on commercial airplanes, because people can’t be trusted with guns. I can just hear Nick saying, “I support the 2A, but…”

  27. avatar Chip Bennett says:

    TTAG’s got jokes! Happy first day of the fourth month, everyone.

  28. avatar S.CROCK says:

    Somebody check the temperature in hell, I think I see a snowball.

  29. avatar FormerWaterWalker says:

    I got it immediately. Funny but making sense is a joke. Have fun…

  30. avatar Levi says:

    Lol nice try.

  31. avatar George Lyon says:

    Good one. Wonder Hilary Clinton did not endorse it.

  32. avatar Big Jim says:

    It’s friggin about time!Training will be necessary Airframes Are not designed to stop bullets. Explosive decompression can happen Killing the entire crew That is not seat belted in. However there are Ammunitions specifically designed not to penetrate The airframe Under Pressure. I believe There is a safety slug That is filled With small LED BB’s almost like a shotgun shell That can be fired out of semi-automatic handguns that is very lethal But will not penetrate the aluminum aircraft skin or Windows causing explosive decompression. But along with these Rounds, Training does have to be A must Do to The Soft target that an aircraft Encompasses.

  33. avatar Big Jim says:

    They should have done this after 9:11 forget about the recent terrorist attacks 911 could have been completely Stopped And loss of life Would have been Possibly completely eliminated If armed Americans would have been on those aircraft that were hijacked. Those terrorists would have been eliminated with extreme prejudice with a quickness. Never bring a knife to a gunfight LOL.

  34. avatar Jim Bullock says:

    Hey, we’re gonna do something sensible, grounded in facts and reasoning. April Fools!

    You know something’s wrong when you can tell the news is an April Fools’ joke because it makes perfect sense.

  35. avatar Jasonius says:

    Instead of Authorized Concealed Carry Program (ACCP), should have called it Citizen Concealed Carry Program (CCCP).

  36. avatar Ironhorse says:

    I need to stop reading anything today.

  37. avatar TRP says:

    This sounds like something Trump might support, but not the Apologizer-in-Chief…

  38. avatar 38Specialist says:

    But no knives!……Or pokey things…….

    1. avatar LarryinTX says:

      Or mouthwash!

  39. avatar AJ187 says:

    And here I thought all your articles were jokes.

  40. avatar AR says:

    Now if it had been “Rugby Players on all flights….”

    /Mark Bingham, Todd Beamer, Tom Burnett and Jeremy Glick

  41. avatar Mikial says:

    This is getting truly annoying. Are you people adolescent 15 year olds with all your April Fools posts?

  42. avatar Adub says:

    This was actually so logical I knew it had to be a prank. The government would never be so logical!

  43. avatar kathrein says:

    Wow, great article.Much thanks again. Will read on

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