Toby Carvery on Mushroom Roundabout (courtesy

“Police are hunting three men armed with shotguns and a handgun who robbed pub staff in a car park, before riding off on motorbikes,” the reports. “The bandits struck staff outside the Toby Carvery on Mushroom Roundabout, East Dene, at around 11.20pm yesterday. The men approached and threatened staff as they waited outside the pub, taking cash and personal items.” Of course, armed robberies never happen in the gun control paradise known as the United Kingdom. As Skipper would say, you saw nothing . . .

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61 Responses to OMG! An Armed Robbery in England! OMG!

  1. Good thing they cowered in fear and gave the thugs everything they wanted…. Someone could have been hurt.

    • I got distracted by the sign for the “all you can eat breakfast for 3.99 pounds”. At the current exchange rate, that works out to $5.68, which seems pretty reasonable, if the food is tasty.

      I’ve not been to the UK, but know that the English don’t have the best reputation for tasty food (fortunately for them, the Indian immigrants have helped improve their food reputation).

      Still, their breakfast food seems pretty similar to ours – eggs – bacon – ham – fried potatoes, etc. It looks pretty decent to me. I don’t imagine that “bangers and mash” are a breakfast food, but I like it.

      MMM – FOOOD!

      I’m not a OFWG!

      • Take my word for it the Toby Carvery is utter crap. I have eaten in the UK, Europe and the US. The US offers good food at all price ranges and of course ‘big’ helpings. I live in France, good good in better restaurants but expensive and not big servings. In general UK style food is utter rubbish.

        You are right in stating Indian food and others offer a better deal.

        • I kind of figured that the food likely couldn’t be great for that sort of price.

        • Not being funny but how can a full English breakfast possibly be done wrong?
          I’m not a fan of Toby Carvery’s but i’ll definitely stop by to fill up if my local has the same deal.

          We do have good food in the UK, but it’s mostly French inspired, but then the French actually know how to cook.

          Of course, I’m as partial to an Indian or Chinese as the next English person.

      • One thing the Brits can do as well as anyone is breakfast. Their “full English” breakfasts are a lot like the traditional restaurant breakfasts we’re used to here in the States.

      • It’s not bacon like ours. Ours is from pork belly.
        British “rashers” are from the back. It’s kinda like the Canadian bacon you get on a pizza.

      • “I’ve not been to the UK, but know that the English don’t have the best reputation for tasty food”

        You are correct for the most part, but there are some exceptions. Check out

        Interesting dude – self taught food genius kind of like Julia Child, has one of one of four restaurants in Great Britain to have three Michelin stars which is a pretty big deal. Also has a lot of youtube and TV cooking content that is well worth your time.

        His triple-cooked chips (french fries in our lingo) are awesome, but a PITA to cook.

        • I have to say I had an excellent roast lamb at Simpsons.
          Only problem was a supercilious headwaiter who asked if we had reservations. My shocked reply at the idea of reservations on a Wednesday evening had us seated immediately.
          I tried a meal of hare at another place, and was warned it was “very gamy”. It certainly was.

        • I enjoyed seeing British chef April Bloomfield of “The Spotted Pig” and “The Breslin Bar & Dining Room” on the PBS television program “The Mind of a Chef”.

      • “that works out to $5.68, which seems pretty reasonable”
        It might seem like a reasonable price, but then factor in the US consumer having higher average wages, cheaper fuel, and less tax.
        And, you’ll find most ‘American’ food has foreign influences, for obvious reasons.

        • “having higher average wages, cheaper fuel, and less tax”

          How exactly is fuel cheaper here (of course you have the answer in your sentence and don’t seem to know it!)?

          Fuel costs the same no matter where you are – the raw materials and amount of labor involved doesn’t change based on which side of the pond you reside. You Brits pay more for petrol because of the taxes. The fuel costs the same. A critical point to be sure, but one that the state is very happy for you to overlook.

          Oh, and chips are french fries.

        • French fries = skinny; Chips = chunky.

          Price of petrol per US gallon, US average = $1.84 (amount of tax = $0.49); Price of petrol per US gallon, UK average = $5.38 (amount of tax = $4.01) == US fuel cheaper than UK.

          Oh, and .308 ain’t all that.

        • “An English Person says:
          March 10, 2016 at 05:29”

          Dude you are simply being obstinate and frankly a wanker. French fries over here come in all shapes and sizes, it refers to the preparation where potatoes are cut up into shapes and deep fried. Obviously there are variations, steak fries, shoestring fries etc. But the chip you blokes call deep fried tater chunks over here is called fries. French fries. ‘Chips’ are thinly sliced things that come in bags for snacking, what you lot call ‘crisps’.

          “US fuel cheaper than UK”, again you are talking right past the critical point. I assert that fuel costs the same in the UK as in the US, this is simple fact. Fuel is a product that is dug out of the ground, refined and blended into gasoline. The raw materials and the cost in labor (amount of time) is exactly the same no matter where you are. You are saying (and provide a nice example with proof! Thanks!) that you blokes pay more for petrol than we do for gas, which is true; the cost of the product remains a constant. It’s fact mate, inarguable, observable, in your face, simple and direct truism. Maths, how’s your father?

          Why do you have to be such a ninny? I am correct and you are not. Life goes on, live and learn and all that. And be happy paying your socialist tax at a rate that is so much higher than here in the states where we have more freedom than you do. Don’t you like doing your civic duty to pay the salaries of all those layabouts all over the UK who are on public assistance? Freedom like the freedom to keep and bear, and to shoot 308 or whatever you like. You don’t like 308… well I say that’s tosh and you can bugger off because it’s just tikety-boo for me.


        • And if I were an American i’d be a redneck or a hillbilly; better that than a pretentious, stuck up, prig.
          Shame you couldn’t be civil, but since you failed to agree with the spirit of my original point, you’re obviously plain ignorant.
          If you’re willing to pay the tax on our fuel for us then we’ll happily buy from your filling stations ‘mate’.

        • .308 is great if you need to ask “what’s best” and have the faith/ignorance to let others decide for you.

        • “An English Person says:
          March 10, 2016 at 08:19”

          Oh come now, you know I’m just having a go at you.

          But the fact is that you completely ignored my correct point about the cost of fuel, which you still don’t admit to.

          I don’t have any idea what you are talking about wrt us paying your taxes, you’re not making sense there ol’ chap.

        • Because if we MUST pay more tax on top of the same basic price then it IS more expensive. Besides when I first mentioned less tax in addition to cheaper fuel it was in regard to income and sales taxes.

        • On re reading this it is worth a comment, first;

          “failed to agree with the spirit of my original point, you’re obviously plain ignorant.”

          I was speaking in specific and correct English, you are saying that we should understand the spirit of your words. That’s bollocks and you know it. And to go on there and call me ignorant? Are you reading your own posts? Man up and say it with me brother, the cost of the fuel is the same. You pay more because of your socialist state imposed taxes on the fuel. It’s fact, now who is being ignorant here?

          “If you’re willing to pay the tax on our fuel for us then we’ll happily buy from your filling stations ‘mate’.”

          No, we are not willing. You get the government you support, and pay the bills for their folly and excess. And you can’t buy from our stations, physics doesn’t work that way, nor do laws.

          I’ve long said that the world would be a much better place if we all had to pay taxes separately – not hidden into the cost of petrol, deducted from your paycheck, etc. Add up all the taxes and make people write a check direct to the government quarterly or yearly. Make it so that people understand the difference in the cost of the product and the cost added on by the state, and make it hurt their pocketbook. Do this preferably on the same day as they vote, hell do it in the same room – pay taxes at this table, then vote at that one.

          It’s no coincidence that things are setup the way they are, so that the state gets the most of your money. At the is evidenced in this conversation as plain as day – ‘you yanks pay less for your gas than we do’! No we bloody do not! It’s the freaking same. That is my point and it has nothing to do with ‘spirit’, it’s specific, direct and correct description of the truth.

          Wake up over there mate, they are robbing you blind. They are doing the same here just not as much quite yet, but it’s getting worse all the time.

        • “An English Person says:
          March 10, 2016 at 10:03

          Because if we MUST pay more tax on top of the same basic price then it IS more expensive.”

          Oh good grief, you just don’t seem to care do you? The cost of the fuel is not more expensive, you cannot deny this, but you insist on it. It’s the state making you say there are 5 lights when in reality there are 4. It’s unbelievable to me, you refuse to admit to a clear and correct economic fact. This is socialism.

        • Believe me, despite the fact that we have one of the lowest overall levels of tax in Europe, I still don’t agree with having to pay at least 20% income tax, 20% VAT, or the 75p per litre on fuel; George Osborne needs to be replaced and, if he continues with putting forward the same sort of ridiculous policies as he has proffered so far, it might well happen.

          When the rest of the populace realise that democracy is the right to vote on the specific decision not for someone else to make that decision on their behalf and that 1% isn’t enough of a majority to validate a successful vote, we’ll be making a move in the correct direction.

  2. “Of course, armed robberies never happen in the gun control paradise known as the United Kingdom.”

    So RF, clearly this story is a hoax, because…… 8>)

  3. Toby Carvery on Mushroom Roundabout, East Dene

    No way that’s a real place. Maybe found in Smurfville or wherever the Gummi Bears live but not here in the real world.

    • Yes it is, I’ve driven my Mario Kart there many a time. It’s on the Mushroom Gorge racetrack, just before you go into the mushroom cave.

      Although I don’t recall seeing a restaurant there…maybe it’s a recent addition. I’ll hit the Mario Kart track again this weekend and report back to y’all.

  4. “The men are described as wearing motorbike jackets, motorbike gloves and helmets over balaclavas.

    One of the men was wearing Adidas trainers and one was described as being around 5ft 11in.

    All three spoke with a Rotherham or Sheffield accent and left the scene on motorbikes.”

    Good thing there’s a thorough description of these rogues. I’m sure they’ll be brought to justice forthwith. /sarc/

    • Why don’t they learn to fake an American accent? Then the brits who were robned could believe the crime is actually happened, because Americans, and it would make it harder to find the criminals because the cops would be looking for some Americans to harass.

      • Because the English know that the Americans wouldn’t rob the buffet, they would eat the buffet. The whole buffet.


  5. Where did the robbers get those guns?I thought Kingdom United had them all locked away? Guess Kingdom United has a gun problem too.

  6. Still, we have to admit that these types of crimes are less common in the UK.

    I prefer to live here in the USA, where the criminals may have guns, but I know I have one. Plus, we have a means of throwing off monarchs, unlike the subjects of her majesty.

    • Pity about your compulsory military service, we still have the choice of whether or not to swear allegiance; seems USA might be less protestant than it thinks.

        • But what’s your point? We do not have compulsory service except for the draft which is not in place at this time.

          So what are you talking about? And don’t just throw links out there, if you have a point to make, then make it.

          Look mate, I think it’s great that you like your country, good for you. But you keep throwing out these barbs at us yanks which are nonsensical and silly, and I’m calling you on them. Is that enough non-retard for you?

        • “Having a go”? Really, you must find a better English language tutor – i’m sure if you sold your flash car you’d could afford one.

          I sincerely apologise if you honestly thought I was trying to make negative aspersions regarding the USA’s people and country because I genuinely wasn’t; but as you also highlighted it is obvious no country is perfect, and I do question why, with the safeguard the 2nd amendment is intended to provide, it is necessary for the US federal government to keep people tied to the possibility of military service.

          I believe the UK needs a National Guard like the USA has, but if I was raising my children in USA i’d want them to be able to have the choice of fighting abroad in addition to the means to fight at home.

        • “An English Person says:
          March 10, 2016 at 10:17”

          You’ve gone off topic now. You said ‘pity about your compulsory service’ and I made the point that we do not have compulsory service, which we do not.

          Discussion about the 2a and a standing army is a good topic – but far beyond the scope of this exchange.

          Frankly I think we should have some level of compulsory service, but the argument for a voluntary army is also very good (you have people that truly want to serve that way), so again a topic for another day.

          The point here is that you were wrong, people are only required to register.

          As for you throwing barbs out at us, that is what it seems like to me. But if you say that wasn’t your intent I can certainly take you at your word. My recommendation is that perhaps you don’t know as much about our society as you think you do, and I would encourage you to have a think about that.

          And yes I was having a go at you (I have many Brit friends who use that slang often, meaning a good natured jab or perhaps a real stern dressing down of someone). If I was being too much the boorish American (which I freely admit I sometimes am :-), I do take responsibility for that and apologize, I wasn’t meaning to attack you.

          We cool bro?

        • So, what if you don’t register? Or you do register then refuse to report for duty?!
          So, effectively it IS compulsory…

          I take your point, I certainly know very little about USA society; the same as many commentators here know very little about ‘British’ food, and the same as many a nation’s common people about the laws and politics of their own lands.

          From my experience “having a go” is an attempt to antagonise or provoke, particularly violently; such as in the hooligan’s phrase “come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough”, and usually results in injuries and arrests. Not quite the same as calling “Garn!” or “Swank!” at a passing poseur.

          On the matter of compulsory service, do you think the French resistance would have been so effective in WWII if resistance had been explicitly compulsory rather than an expectation backed by collective derision of collaborators?

          I’m not cool, I have a cold.

        • “An English Person says:
          March 10, 2016 at 11:37”

          Yes but you said compulsory service, and it’s not service, it’s just registration. So that was my point, you got that bit wrong.

          As to what would happen if one registered and refused to report – we haven’t had a draft in many years and none is expected anytime soon. There is no telling what would happen in such a case, it’s academic. If you refuse to register I think the punishment is pretty tame, such as not being able to apply for student loans and likely some other things.

          Your question about WWII is interesting, but it’s really not something I could comment on, not knowing enough about that particular aspect of the war and French society at that time. It’s an interesting topic.

          ‘We cool bro?’ is American slang for ‘I’m not mad at you and I hope you aren’t mad at me and we can be mates even though we had some minor disagreements just now it’s more important that we try and be civil and friendly and hopefully learn a thing or two from one another’. As you can see the slang version is more efficient. 🙂

          So, we cool bro?

        • “Failing to register or comply with the Military Selective Service Act is a felony punishable by a fine of up to $250,000 or a prison term of up to five years, or a combination of both.”

          Telling people they are wrong, regardless of whether or not they actually are, is not ‘cool’.

        • “An English Person says:
          March 10, 2016 at 14:58

          “Failing to register or comply with the Military Selective Service Act is a felony punishable by a fine of up to $250,000 or a prison term of up to five years, or a combination of both.”

          Ok, sure. I don’t think this is something that is really enforced, this is a bit of a sticky wicket for the state because putting the screws to people for what is commonly perceived as ‘peaceful non compliance’ gets bad press. Plus I suspect there aren’t too many people who choose not to register *and* there is no real need for a draft at this time, and most in the military don’t want one anyway.

          But sure, the law is the law… there are a lot of laws on our books that remain unenforced for various reasons. You know the state likes to have options and the more laws they have the better.

          All of this of course being completely unrelated to compulsory service, which as we see, is not what we have here in the states. So not to put too fine a point on it, you were still wrong.

          “Telling people they are wrong, regardless of whether or not they actually are, is not ‘cool’.”

          Really? I totally disagree. If I am wrong about something I am 110% cool with both admitting to it/owning up to it, and having people with knowledge tell me of the fact and setting me straight. That’s how I roll.

          What is the point of engaging in a discussion about anything if you don’t want people to respond to your points with their own points, discuss facts and reality of things and generally compare things?

          I in fact want to own the things I say and am confident that they will stand up to challenge – and if I am wrong about something I want very much to know about it so I can grow and expand my own little set of knowledge. I frankly don’t understand why someone would not think these things.

          You mad bro?

  7. WAIT one darn minute…..,
    BHO swore this type of $#!+ Cannot and Does not happen in Europe.
    Someone MUST be mistaken………………
    /sarc off now.

  8. Motorbikes made their easy escape possible, therefor, ban motorbikes. Or at least all motorbikes with a displacement above 50cc. No one needs a high capacity motorbike.

    • Absolutely. There was a daylight robbery of a jewelry store in London, and the thieves escaped on motorbikes, eluding police whose vehicles could not get through the traffic.
      If they can’t bring themselves to ban motorbikes, perhaps they can see their way clear to more police on motorbikes.
      Maybe they ought to think about more “armed police” instead of a gun ban on the citizenry (or is it “subjectry”) as well.

  9. I still think England’s problem is that their politicians are the people who managed to avoid military service in the world wars.

    Most of the people with any backbone have migrated. Several I took shooting for the first time now have 10 plus firearms even here in Australia. A couple who I know in Arizona have some 100 plus. All of them say there is no way they are going back to the politically correct crazy place they left

    • That’s the truth. I took a shooting course once from a former member of the British Army, and one of the local deputy sheriffs was once with the London Metropolitan Police. I guess he preferred to be able to shoot back if necessary. Both men are happy to be here in the US.

  10. They should ban armed robbery! Oh? They did?
    Then they should ban guns! What? Those, too?
    <thinks for a second>
    Then they should ban valuables worth stealing!

    • “Then they should ban valuables worth stealing!”

      Truth be told, that’s the end goal of their entire plan.

  11. Dang, three post in and we r already making ye ole levity out of situations that take away every civil liberty other than levity. Oh how I once was a empty headed liberal fresh from the college stage ready to cure the worlds ills until low and behold the world gave me one huge bitch slap and now here in with a working brain, money in the bank and a .45 acp on my hip. Night sites and a flashlight for overkill lol

  12. There is a British pastry called spotted dick. I don’t know what is in it but I suggest you all stay away from it.

    • The same gun control which allows us to own long barrelled pistols, semi-auto shotguns, and m&p 15-22s?

  13. I LOVE how this brings out all the latent animosity that’s silently festered ever since the English some 204 years ago demonstrated that they’re not to be trusted. It amazes me that there’s still this much distrust between ardent allies.


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