“A Kalamazoo Uber driver accused of killing six people and wounding two others last month told police that the ride-sharing app took over his ‘mind and body’ and made him carry out the rampage,” freep.com reports. “In a series of interviews with police in the hours after the Feb. 20 shootings, Jason Dalton, 45, blamed the killings on the Uber app, saying his iPhone directed him where to go and when to shoot people.” Analog cab companies who have been hurt by the on-line ride provider now know the secret behind Uber’s success: it’s a tool of Satan . . .
Dalton told police that earlier that Saturday when he opened up the Uber ride service app, a symbol, which he believed was the Eastern Star, popped up. Dalton said the symbol resembled a devil’s head and “that’s when all the problems started.”
“Dalton described the devil figure as a horned cow head or something like that and then it would give you an assignment and it would literally take over your whole body,” according to police reports released Monday to the Free Press by the Kalamazoo City Attorney’s Office.
But despite his well documented malevolence, the boys in blue enjoyed some sympathy from the Devil.
Dalton said he would have gotten in a shootout with police when he was arrested, but the app directed him not to.
Or maybe Dalton’s just full of bovine fertilizer.
His wife, Carole Dalton, told investigators with the Kalamazoo County Sheriff’s Office that he had told her a different story. She said he told her that day that he was having problems with a jealous taxi driver who’d shot at him, and that she should stay away from their home unless she was armed, according to sheriff’s reports also released Monday.
Not that an altercation like that — if it ever really happened — explains gunning down six innocent people. Either way, it’s yet another argument for staying calm and carrying one. And, if you’re a driver, maybe switching to Lyft.