An oldie but a goodie: a pair of hikers find themselves on a trail with a black bear shadowing their every move. OK, stalking them. Jokes about outrunning your cohort aside, their only self-defense tool is…wait for it…a rock. That said, if one or both of them had a self-defense firearm of the normal sort, shooting the bruin may have only served to enrage the beast. And if they’d managed to kill the creature, the bureaucratic fallout would have been a royal PITA. Still, anyone who’s seen the bear attack scene in the movie Revenant — a featurette on same posted after the jump for your dining and dancing pleasure — will know that bear attacks blow. Walk softly and carry a big caliber my friends . . .