One of the biggest problems with being an armed American: disarming. If, for example, you want to rub elbows with ladies who yoga pant at your local “gun free” Whole Foods, you have to stash your gat in your car. Kids soccer match? If they’re playing the beautiful game on school grounds…no heater for you boyo. And then there’s work and work-related events . . .
Most medium to large companies can and will can your ass for carrying. Most conference centers ban firearms as well. Where you gonna leave your gun then, Mr. High Flying Executive? Speaking of which, TTAG tipster mister3d sent us to a link to the Enterprise Connect conference he won’t be attending. See if you can spot the one rule to make a fool of the person who wrote the rule in their Code of Conduct:
3. Unacceptable behavior & materials include, but are not limited to:
Unacceptable behaviors & materials include: intimidating, harassing, abusive, discriminatory, derogatory, or demeaning materials or conduct by any attendees of the event and related event activities. Many event venues are shared with members of the public; please be respectful to all patrons of these locations.
Harassment includes: offensive comments (verbal, written, or otherwise) related to gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, disability; inappropriate use of nudity and/or sexual images in public spaces (including presentation slides); deliberate intimidation, stalking or following; harassing materials, photography or recording; sustained disruption of talks or other events (whether verbal or otherwise); inappropriate physical contact, and unwelcome sexual attention.
Wearing clothing that is not suitable for a professional work environment, that is provocative, or otherwise potentially offensive.
Physical, written, verbal or other abuse, intimidation, threats, annoyance, harassment, stalking, pushing, shoving or use of any physical force whatsoever against any person, which in any way creates a disturbance that is disruptive or dangerous, or creates apprehension in a person, as determined by UBM and its show management, in their sole discretion.
Possession of any item that can be used as a weapon, which may cause danger to others if used in a certain manner.
Any boisterous, lewd or offensive behavior or language, including but not limited to using sexually explicit or offensive language, materials or conduct, or any language, behavior or content that contains profanity, obscene gestures, or racial, religious or ethnic slurs,
Possessing any open can, bottle or other receptacle containing any alcoholic beverages, except in areas specifically designated for the consumption of alcohol. Please drink responsibly.
Possessing any illegal substance, including but not limited to narcotics, marijuana, or other illegal drugs. UBM does not tolerate the use or abuse of illegal substances anywhere in the Venue.
Smoking – other than in designated areas.
Assembling for the purpose of, or resulting in, disturbing the peace, or committing any unlawful act or engaging in any offensive behavior.
Failure to obey any rules or regulations of the Venue.
“Most of this is ‘act like an adult,'” mister3d opines. “Except this: ‘Possession of any item that can be used as a weapon, which may cause danger to others if used in a certain manner.’ Certain manner? Any item? Like a pen? Heavy laptop bag? Fist? Chair? Keys? When I was in the service, they taught me to improvise, use ANYTHING at hand, and fight dirty if need be. Geez.” Geez indeed.