Question of the Day: What Gun Does Sean Penn Need to Protect Himself from the Mexican Drug Cartels?

spicoli

Sometime actor (and frequent fan of socialist dictators) Sean Penn has come under withering fire for the article he penned for Rolling Stone chronicling his meeting with recently re-captured Mexican drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman. Besides the inevitable PR hit a public figure can take as a result of a penchant for palling around with assorted third world scumbags, there’s another, more practical bit of blowback Mr. Spicoli should be concerned with. It’s been suggested that Penn’s meet-up with the murderous cartel jefe was instrumental in locating the fugitive. Which could very well put a big target on his back . . .

Penn’s telling everyone who will listen that the idea he’s in danger is totally bogus.

“There is this myth about the visit that we made, my colleagues and I with El Chapo, that it was—as the Attorney General of Mexico is quoted—’essential’ to his capture,” Penn told Rose. “We had met with him many weeks earlier…on October 2nd, in a place nowhere near where he was captured.”

But according to Mexico’s attorney general,

…their meet-up “was an essential element (to finding El Chapo), because we were following [Guzman’s] lawyer, and the lawyer took us to these people and to this meeting.”

And then there’s this:

According to Mike Vigil, a former chief of international operations with the U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency, that could be enough to put Penn and Mexican actress Kate del Castillo, who facilitated the meeting, in jeopardy.

“These cartels are very violent, they do not forgive any transgression and they will respond in a most violent manner,” Vigil told Yahoo News. “These are people who have dismembered, who have decapitated individuals. So killing Sean Penn and del Castillo means absolutely nothing to them.”

Fortunately, Penn lives in the US of A, where armed self defense is a constitutionally protected right. But wait…didn’t Penn’s former main squeeze, Charlize Theron, make him, you know, disarm? Why yes, yes she did.

Given his current predicament, you’d think that puts the one-time gun-o-phile back in the ballistic market. So let’s help him out with some shopping suggestions, shall we? Put yourself in his Birkenstocks. If you didn’t already own firearms and knew the cartels had it in for you, what would you buy?

 

comments

  1. avatar surlycmd says:

    Simply not worth the time to consider.

    1. avatar Hellbilly says:

      This. I’ll let him worry about that.

      1. Penn is a moron to go shooting his mouth and not think that Chapo has some hit squads out there ready to deal him. These are guy who like to cut up bodies and hang them from freeway bridges.

        1. avatar Cicero Smith says:

          Was that a Sicario reference? Great film

    2. avatar Alex says:

      I’m sure he already has the late$t cellphone that dials 9-1-1. What more does a good liberal need? Cops will be there in minutes…maybe.

  2. avatar Peter says:

    I don’t like Sean Penn any more than the next guy, but isn’t calling him a “third world scumbag” a bit harsh?

    I mean there have to be hundreds of ACTUAL third world scumbags who would deeply resent that comparison.

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      You may want to re-read the post.

      1. avatar Peter says:

        Sarcasm

        1. avatar Lucas D. says:

          We know that, guy, but Dan didn’t refer to Sean Penn as a “third-world scumbag,” just the dictators in whose recta he’s often found shoving his head. However, it is implicit in the text that Penn is a first-class douchebag.

        2. avatar bobby b says:

          Some of us got it.

  3. avatar flopencarry says:

    Ak 47 The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutions. Ordell Robbie

    1. avatar MurrDog says:

      Proven effective in France.

      1. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

        If you have to choose just one, I suppose that would be the primary. But since he doesn’t have to have just one, and carrying around a long black scary gun everywhere is a bit much, a large caliber semi-auto pistol of large capacity with extra mags on his person at all times would be prudent.
        Without professional security like Bloombag, Trump, Obummer, Hildabeast etc have, there is no way for the average person, even Penn, to protect themselves all the time. It’s too easy for someone to walk up behind you and put a round in the back of your head. A person can be aware, stay vigilant, and armed, home carry, but you can’t protect yourself from every feasible attack all the time. Is a person never going to go get the mail? How many of us are protected from a long range sniper shot as we walk out front of our houses? Very few of us are prone to that sort of threat nor are any of us defending from it.

        1. avatar charles says:

          This. I’m happy to be a nobody. Spicoli made his choices. Given his past ownership of guns I would bet he already restocked.

    2. avatar Indiana Tom says:

      Ak 47 The very best there is. I dunno, the folks with the mud bath over at In Range might beg to differ.

      1. avatar BK says:

        Mus shouldn’t be an issue for a home defense gun. Unless of course your home is in a third-world shithole.

      2. avatar Nick says:

        The problem with a long gun for home defense is that he’ll set it down eventually… maybe to make dinner or go to the bathroom or whatever. Then, good luck finding it when the goons are kicking in the door.

    3. avatar All_is_fair says:

      He may NEED an AK47 but he deserves nothing.

      If he insists on something have somebody pull a Rem R51 out of the trash bin.

    4. avatar Nate in the land of townships says:

      A friend of mine in high school got an ak47 type rifle from her grandfather when some dirt bag started stalking her.

    5. avatar Adam M says:

      AKM is infinitely better than an AK-47.

  4. avatar JWM in TN says:

    Maybe he can talk the Obama administration into losing one of those Fast and Furious weapons on his front step.

    1. avatar Tex300BLK says:

      Or just ask the cartel for one, they probably have more than a few to spare from F&F.

  5. avatar Tom W. says:

    He can just go to the DOJ, they have experience with firearms and Mexican Cartels.

    Just make an appt with AG Loretta Lynch and say:

    “Hey Bud, let’s party!”

    Sorry, couldn’t help it.

  6. avatar ActionPhysicalMan says:

    He peaked in high school (Ridgemont) at age 22.

  7. avatar John L. says:

    How about a Witless? Er, Witness?

  8. avatar Vhyrus says:

    Considering his wealth and connections, a truck mounted M134 seems like an appropriate response.

  9. avatar Sixpack70 says:

    Let’s just get this thing going. Hipoint .380.

    1. The perfect gun for Penn is one that shoots off at the mouth. He has shown aptitude in that area.

  10. avatar Canuck says:

    Just call 911, right?

  11. avatar CRF says:

    Since he is wealthy, I would go with a full auto, belt fed option with a high rate of fire. An M249 maybe? The 1919 doesn’t go out of style either. for portability, maybe a full auto pistol caliber carbine. MP5, or maybe a Kriss Vector. And a good shotgun is good to have. Anything with an extended magazine tube, or maybe a Saiga 12.

    I mean, if I was rich.

    1. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

      It was estimated he was worth between 120-150 million, his ex-squeeze supposedly got half. That still leaves him with enough disposable income I’d think.

      1. avatar Mark N. says:

        They were never married, so she shouldn’t have gotten anything. That is if you are talking about Theron. Robin Wright probably got a fair chunk after 14 years of marriage.

        1. avatar James69 says:

          And being “special” he can just call and somebody will deliver one to his house. No delays, no waiting.

  12. avatar gs650g says:

    A pop tart chewed in the shape of a 1911

    1. avatar Indiana Tom says:

      …but is it California Compliant?

      1. avatar Mark N. says:

        Only if it has an external safety, a mag disconnect if the filling leaks out, and a loaded chamber indicator.

        1. avatar Newshawk says:

          Don’t forget the microstamping to identify the teeth that chewed it into the shape of a gun…

      2. avatar jwm says:

        Stick an orange tip on it.

      3. avatar Anonymoose says:

        Nothing is California-compliant as of this month.

  13. avatar Table says:

    Guns are cool and great for protection and all, but folk songs and kumbaya are definitely underrated.

    1. avatar Indiana Tom says:

      They need a Jobs Program.

  14. avatar Kim Burr says:

    How about a one-way ticket to any of the “Developed Countries” the president talks about (but can’t quite name) where there’s no gun violence.

    1. avatar Indiana Tom says:

      Penn does like Venezuela.

  15. avatar jwtaylor says:

    Ambush the ambush Penn. Come on…you can do it!

    1. avatar ropingdown says:

      Yep, now that he’s got them surrounded from the inside.

  16. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    I was thinking of a non-operational Remington R51 for dear Sean Penn. Of course, I think the Remington R51 should be used to protect most of Hollyweird and most progressives.
    Now if we are talking about a valued human being, then the choices might be different.

    1. avatar beefeater says:

      “non-operational Remington R51”

      No need to be redundant.

  17. avatar Ralph says:

    A FX-05 Xiuhcoatl assault rifle would be just the ticket for shooting some Mexican cartel thugs, no? With Aguila ammo, of course.

    1. avatar Indiana Tom says:

      Star Trek Phaser Rifle.

  18. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    Penn’s meet-up with the murderous cartel jefe was instrumental in locating the fugitive. Which could very well put a big target on his back . . .awwww shucks….really terrible news.

  19. avatar Big Bill says:

    A new brain.

  20. avatar wes says:

    He doesnt need a gun, he needs a bomb sniffing dog to prevent them from blowing up his car like they (attempt) to do in all those factual documentaries from the 80s (ala lethal weapon, die hard, etc)

  21. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    I think if I were in his shoes I’d worry less about which pistol/rifle combination to buy and more about which armor to purchase.

    1. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

      actually, I would suggest he just pick out a casket and help pen his obituary. Just saying.

      1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

        I don’t know if I’d go that far, but he should at least make sure he’s got Charlize written out of his will.

      2. avatar All_is_fair says:

        Would be fun to start a funding campaign for his casket.

  22. avatar Another Robert says:

    Obviously, he needs one of those Hollywood jobs that never run dry and never get hot.

  23. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

    Here is a tip, Don’t hang out with Mexican Cartel members!

  24. avatar MIchigunner says:

    Simple answer: None. Let him reap what he sows.

  25. avatar Donald says:

    Here is a post I made on another pro-gun site on Jan.12th. which could follow along the same lines here.

    Re: #ENOUGH Celebs For BHO EA
    Postby qmti » Tue Jan 12, 2016 8:45 am

    I believe Sean Penn is for gun control and didn’t see him on the list. He was a big gun collector guy till he started dating Charlize Theron and she made him get rid of them. Now he was involved in the capture of El Chapo Guzman the drug lord after his so called “news interview”. Wouldn’t it be ironic if he has now upset El Chapo and a contract has been put out on Penn? If I were Penn, I would wish I had my guns back. Maybe he will be a born again pro-gunner.

  26. avatar robby wilshire says:

    Why not one of the way cool “smart guns”
    Bing Bang Bama and Joking Joe keep, running their silly sucks about!
    Hell if it doesn’t work they can give him double his money back!

  27. avatar blahpony says:

    A really nice set of high thread count bed sheets.

    He made his bed, let him lie in it.

    1. avatar Donald says:

      Amen!

  28. avatar LJM says:

    Funny coincidence, reminds me of this scene from Carlito’s Way where Sean Penn’s character kills the mob boss and then gets whacked in the hospital. Life…. Art.

  29. avatar jwm says:

    If the mexican actress winds up headless hanging from a bridge then I’d say Sean had a problem.

    His best solution at that point is to move to England. After all, guns are tightly controlled there and it would be impossible for the cartel to arm their killers in a gun free country.

  30. avatar Right to arm Bears says:

    This socialist disarmist douchebag is probably best served with a water pistol or nerfgun- fits his commie utopian profile.

    1. avatar 357M28 says:

      A good fit would be, a water pistol loaded w/tears of Obama.

  31. avatar Jframe says:

    Give him a cap gun.

  32. avatar James69 says:

    He’ll prob hollywood it up, become the new anti-gun poster child. Run the PSA –

    (whriling noises, blank screen, beep )

    (wide angle shot of Penn standing in a sunny park with children playing)

    HI, I’m Sean Penn world renowned actor of stage and screen. I’m wanted by Mexican cartels and I still don’t see any need to own a gun. (zoom in, dramatic music) Join me america. (wet eyes) I’m living proof that you don’t need a gun.

    (zoom out, pan camera up to the sun maybe a few clouds and a double rainbow)

    There.

  33. avatar TyrannyOfEvilMen says:

    I’m pretty sure that Sean Penn is a convicted felon and so has lost his gun rights.

    So, the real question is what gun should his bodyguards buy? /;-)

  34. avatar Geoff PR says:

    Fvck him.

    Mr. Nice..

  35. avatar Sian says:

    Spicoli’s a sweet pick for this year’s Death Pool, if Charlize won’t let him arm up. (She won’t.)

    1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      I thought she dumped his sorry ass.

      1. avatar Donald says:

        She did.

  36. avatar Adub says:

    He doesn’t need a gun, just a couple of operators operating operationally. Every bar in America is full of ex-SEALs, or so I find.

  37. avatar Somebody says:

    Thanks for giving me the reason I needed to not be infatuated with Charlize Theron…

    Ok, ok… she is still hot. Just not particularly well educated 😉

  38. avatar Fuque says:

    Breitbart- In January 2013, Sean Penn criticized personal firearms as “cowardly killing machines” and sold all his guns in order that they might be rendered inoperable. In 2015 he is starring in The Gunman, a soon-to-released film by the makers of the Taken series, and one in which Penn relies on guns to save himself and his love interest.

    He already made his decision.. he will be negotiating with the cartel to turn themselves in as cowards.

    1. avatar neiowa says:

      Pretty sure the hack has never “Starred” in anything.

      AND ITS EL CHUMPO. One newspaper misspells and everyone buys in. See also OBUMER.

    2. avatar Goose says:

      I’m pretty sure penn-head rented a storage locker and kept his guns,I think even a liberal would have brains enough to figure that one out.Given his history with women,I’m sure he didn’t take her seriously either,I think he was just using her as a fuck bag until the day she would inevitably dump his ass.I mean,what else is a liberal woman good for?

  39. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

    What Does Sean Penn Need to Protect Himself from the Mexican Drug Cartels?

    1.a rocket ship to mars?

    2.the next rocket to the ISS and hang out there for the rest of his miserable days (at least he’s not on earth anymore)

    anything on this earth and they will find him…they are just going to give it time for the cameras and press to go away…

  40. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    Maybe Mr. Hand(job) can help little Sean out. Oh wait-he’s DEAD…and so will you be. Yeah I don’t think the average grade school dropout Mexican cartel boy understands the nuances and vagaries of the addled Penn brain. No gunz for you -bodyguard or die dummy.

  41. avatar Special K says:

    Not that it would ever be enforced because he is a liberal celebrity, but can Penn actually own a gun? Given his views on drug legalization and general demeanor I am guessing he has a dime bag or two floating around, and some harder stuff besides.

  42. avatar FlamencoD says:

    I’ll play this game. He is worth many millions, so none of this is out of reach for him.

    Preventive: A few guard dogs on the lot (3 Dobermans or German Shepherds w/ an additional 1 or 2 in the house). Bring them with him wherever he can. A state of the art alarm system for his home. Detectors on every window and motion in every room (you never know where they’ll enter) and cameras everywhere on the property. Motion sensors in the yard beyond the dogs’ reach. A couple of armed guards (armed with an AR-15 and a sidearm). Secure room with separate phone and power, independent ventilation, supplies (food/water), armory, and of course, concrete and steel lined walls, roof, and floor (12″ reinforced concrete, 1″ steel should do the job and quality vault door to match, all utilities underground).

    Defense: Several AR-15s hidden but easily accessible throughout his (probably large) house (hidden in “plain view” type hiding spots), with several full mags at each location. Home carry (and carry concealed everywhere) a Springfield XDm 4.5″ 9mm, (19 rounds of +p JHP per mag) with one in the chamber, and several spare 19 round mags on his belt. Backup gun should be an XDs 9mm with one in the chamber and a spare 9 round mag. Yes, I like Springfield. And 9mm because of the greater capacity. Could substitute the XDm 4.5″ for a Glock 17 but you lose 2 rounds of capacity. I don’t know if the XDm 4.5″ is even legal in CA, but he can get it either way.

    Krav Maga training. Jiu jitsu training.

    Body armor when he leaves the house. The less obtrusive, under the clothes type.

    He also needs remote start on his car, just in case they wire a bomb to the car start.

    And arm and train the family members in self defense.

    That would give someone a good shot at survival if a drug kingpin is indeed after you.

    1. avatar Daily Beatings says:

      Didn’t help Tony Montana:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_z4IuxAqpE

      They still got him in the end. I doubt it would help Sean in real life.

  43. avatar samuraichatter says:

    Hey if Alan Dershowitz can say regarding defending Hitler “Yes, I would defend him. And I would win” then I can defend Sean Penn.

    Sean Penn tooling up again and blasting a Mexican Cartel member (or a hitman paid by them) in defense of his life would be a PR windfall for respect for the 2A and freedom in general. As much as you may dislike liberal Hollywood (and put me in front of that line), the man in question here has not beheaded villagers nor sold drugs to kids – ergo I want him to kill the people who do if he is in that position. That, and I thought he was pretty good in Taps and Colors 🙂

    So, I would give him a Tavor, FN 5.7, snub nosed revolver, and a multi-shot project [sshh grenade] launcher loaded w/ buckshot. Oh yeah, and a WASP knife because any BG dying from a WASP knife would be cool. And yes, he would have those in gun-unfriendly Califus. Cuz a 2x oscar winner getting popped for weapons violations in relation to protecting himself from the Mexican Mafia could be a very good thing for “the conversation”.

  44. avatar clickboom says:

    1 hollywierder vs cartel hit squad

    Choice of weapon is irrelevant.

    If they want him dead, he’ll be dead. Or hiding in the north pole.

  45. avatar The Phantom says:

    Easy answer. The heat for Sean to pack needs to be crazier than is he. It comes out of the bowels of the old Soviet Union but rumor has it you might still get one in Russia with cash and contacts.

    Of course I’m referring to the TP-82. To refresh memories this is a 3 barrel, single shot, 3.5 pound bundle of joy designed for the singular purpose of cosmonautical self defense whilst traversing where no man has gone before. Two 32 gauge 11.8 inch barrels and the other holds 5.45×39 mm in the chamber.. Accessories provided included an uncomfortable buttstock and useless shovel combination. An over engineered machete that attached to the pistol grip was also provided.

    Makes me wonder if I where to wake up tomorrow on a spaceship headed into certain combat with space aliens what one gun would I pack. For realists I suppose any singleshot would suffice.

    1. avatar charles says:

      Any firearm that works in Earth’s atmosphere and surface gravity would work in space. You just need to contend with recoil forces. Given that even a grazing hit on a suit would kill the target, you might need nothing more than a .22. Or that funky FN that has a bazillion round mag above the action. What is that, 5.7mm?

  46. avatar UncleKim says:

    M60 of course.

  47. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    $ didn’t help some mid-east billionaire dictators-Quadaffi,Mubarek and especially our buddy Saddam Hussain…if army’s wanna’ get you…

  48. avatar Paul says:

    Viagra.

  49. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    May I suggest a smart ghost gun in armor piercing, anti-aircraft caliber .9mm?

  50. avatar Stuki Moi says:

    I’m not sure Penn really needs protection. The Cartels seem to favor beheading as their way of punishing someone, and Penn is one of those fortunate souls who literally has nothing left to lose as far as contents of the head is concerned.

    He is a good actor, though. As in, fantastically good. One of the absolute best of his generation. Whether lead or supporting, he can singlehandledly make some films worth watching. I can only surmise being a literal tabula rasa, makes him exceptionally well qualified to 100% morph into any conceivable character. Many other fantastic actors seem to share the same predicament, come to think of it. It is, perhaps, a bit of a professional requirement.

  51. avatar Lucas D. says:

    Going off what the anti-gun Left keeps suggesting about us, Sean Penn apparently needs no gun. Unlike us cowards who hide behind our compensatory firearms, he and all the other gun-grabbers can stand bravely and simply beat cartel hit men to death with their freakishly large penises.

  52. avatar DJZ says:

    Dan, from a life long Birkenstock wearer, though I agree that Sean Penn is a horse’s ass. Many in media have done the exact same thing. Dan Rather going into a cave to get interview Osama bin Laden. Many respected journalists interviewing the likes of Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Papa Doc Duvailier, Vladamir Putin. It’s their job to expose these “people” to the outside world even if it risks their lives. Many crimes have been avoided by such exposure. Even in this case it led to this criminal’s arrest. Don’t ridicule people who are trying, wether for egosentric aims or not, to expose wrongdoing.

  53. avatar HP says:

    Maybe Sean can use his feelings and emotions as a defensive weapon. Like a Care Bear. I’m pretty sure that’s how liberals think it works.

  54. avatar Ralphie says:

    Did Sean penn not have his firearms collection melted down/destroyed and made into some form of “artwork” years ago?

  55. avatar DAN V says:

    Abrams tank

  56. avatar Luke Yarasheski says:

    I am horrified that no one has offered their own weapon up. #supportdbags

    1. avatar Newshawk says:

      You know, you’re right. I hereby offer Sean Penn my collection of SIG Sauer pistols: a P228 and a matched pair of P230s. In keeping with his Theron-induced hopolophobic tendencies, they are all single shot airsoft pistols.

  57. avatar Dave says:

    I wouldn’t trade a brass ring for her, Much less my undisclosed number of firearms. Between being a gun owner, hunter, and trapper, that’s got me against Theron on 3 fronts.

    Never go full retard. You don’t buy that? Ask Sean Penn!

  58. avatar charles says:

    9mm or .40 pistol, two spare mags, and weekly training. Plus a vest worn in public and a very trustworthy bodyguard as a shadow, not overt. Might be a good time to buy discreetly armored vehicle and hire an even more trustworthy driver.

  59. avatar Roscoe says:

    Whatever Penn “needs”, it goes against his character.

  60. avatar CJ says:

    All Penn needs is a supremely viable 10/22

  61. avatar Patron49IFT says:

    F him and the horse he rode in on. Hope he gets what he deserves. Just another annoying lefty who thinks normal rules of behavior in polite society apply to everyone except him. Be cause he is *Special*. I’m sure his mommy told him every day just how special he was and how lucky we all are that he is around.

  62. avatar Rick K says:

    The gun he is willing to put to his head and squeeze. That would be the quickest, least painful way for him to meet his maker. Of course I’d rather he be tortured and beaten by the drug thugs before they shoot him (repeatedly)

  63. avatar Tom says:

    I guess the first thing he should buy are some balls. I mean, if he had any of those, he wouldn’t have disarmed in the first place.

  64. avatar foo dog says:

    I think Mr Penn will be needing one of these:
    http://www.nairaland.com/1372071/quick-sale-brand-new-m

    And he can stay there, too.

  65. avatar PeterK says:

    If I had the money he does:

    Glock, with lots and lots of fun stuff on it
    A nice sig navy or legion
    Anything by Wilson combat

  66. avatar TGugs says:

    What Penn needs is a good Psychiatrist for doing something so foolish….but hey he’s a Liberal what do you expect? Met the” Devil” and next his maker so to speak I’m sure the cartel hit squad has his address. Matter of time so to speak.

  67. avatar Steve Day says:

    Two words … Rape Whistle

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