What do you say to gun control advocates when they ask the same old questions about gun ownership? Here’s some of the anti-gun inanity I face on a regular basis, and my snarky replies. Please add to this list. For the children! . . .
Why Do You Have So Many Guns?
Why didn’t you pay attention in history class?
Because God promised me sufficiency in all things.
Because I get tired of playing with my enormous penis.
How can you keep a gun in a house with children?
Where else should I keep my children?
Surprisingly, the gun doesn’t complain.
Why do you need an assault rifle?
To stop people from taking my assault rifle.
Because bad guys aren’t impressed with my love rifle.
Because Dr. Seuss told me these things are fun and fun is good.
What are you so afraid of?
Running out of ammo.
A bad primer.
Evil bastards and insufferable idiots.
What you got?
What’s wrong with universal background checks?
Who’s going to cash them?
Ask The Men in Black how that works out.