Pro-Tip: Concealed Means Concealed (Especially During Threesomes)

“Tyler Carlisle and Alexander Michaud, both 21, were having sex with a female student — who has not been publicly named — when Carlisle grabbed a knife and plunged it into his long-time friend’s throat,” nydailynews.com reports. After the attack, “Carlisle was pacing back and forth, apologizing, before going to the ninth floor apartment’s window and saying he was going to jump.” Jump he did, fatally. Jealousy. Whatchugunnado? What you’re going to do is . . .

make sure you don’t leave a weapon accessible when having sex with someone other than yourself. If you’re bumping uglies at home, this isn’t too much of a problem. Safely secure your firearm before swapping bodily fluids. If, however, you’re making the beast with two backs (or three, or more), hide your gun. Do it – if only for the children you might have as a result.

Where? How the hell should I know? It’s not like I’ve ever been there. Much. Lately.

In that sense, it’s best not to tell your sexual partners you’re packing (a gun). As they say, concealed means concealed. Which kinda sucks for lotharios who encounter a potential sexual partner who’s turned on by a man with a pistol in his pocket – or elsewhere. (The idea gives the antis ammo for their “small pecker” theory of gun ownership, but this is the truth about guns.)

I know what you’re thinking: what if I need my gun to [suddenly] defend myself against some crazy person – and it’s been my experience that extremely attractive bedroom partners tend to be slightly unhinged. Someone who’s hidden their gun/knife/hat pin? Shouldn’t I put my heater somewhere where I can get to it in a pinch (so to speak)?

What was that insoluble Star Trek test? Oh right, the Kobayashi Maru. Alternatively, Krav Maga and lots of it. Anyway you look at this, you’re screwed. Hopefully in a good way. [h/t JM]

comments

  1. avatar Mk10108 says:

    RF’s tip of the day. Know where your “arms” are on the downstroke. Now if he plunged the blade on his buddy’s up stroke, that last down stroke was a freebie.

    1. avatar Sock Monkey says:

      Pro-tip: If you don’t know whether or not someone’s likely to attack you, keep your clothes (and your pistol) on. Having sex with people you barely know is some real Condition White behavior. Or Condition Grey, as it were.

      1. avatar Stinkeye says:

        Good advice, but it doesn’t sound like it applies in this case: “…Carlisle grabbed a knife and plunged it into his long-time friend’s throat.”

        From the description of events, it sounds to me like Stabby McThreesome had some kind of psychotic break. Perhaps drugs were involved? No word on whether rock ‘n’ roll played a part.

        1. avatar Sock Monkey says:

          Which leads us to our other pro-tip: monogamy.

  2. avatar Anner says:

    TTAG’s posting policy: no flaming the website, its authors or fellow commentators.

    Please send any comments about TTAG’s editorial stance of style to thetruthaboutguns@gmail.com.

    That said, there will be a housekeeping post up later today to allow readers to vent about this or other choices.

  3. avatar Geoff PR says:

    How about not throwing down if you have *any* doubts about your own insecurities?

    Cripes. It doesn’t take membership in Mensa to figure that out.

    Hell, Ray Charles could see that!

  4. I’m not sure I can follow the logic here. If you can share a piece, why do you have to hide your piece?

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      ” If you can share a piece, why do you have to hide your piece?”

      Barrel envy.

      *rimshot*

  5. avatar T-DOG says:

    COMMENT DELETED

    Please send all comments about TTAG’s editorial stance or style to thetruthaboutguns@gmail.com

  6. avatar Nate says:

    In regards to just women in general. I tend to worry about them knowing about a concealed weapon on me more than most criminals. I just have such great luck finding the craziest ladies I suppose. lol

    1. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

      Kinda like the Obama staff member that drew her cop bf’s duty peice and fired a shot over a cell phone and some jealously. Yeah the first bit of that information proves there is some crazy.

    2. avatar uncommon_sense says:

      Nate,

      The fact that you carry a concealed handgun will serve as an OUTSTANDING filter when it comes to women. If your carry status is a “deal breaker” with them, that is your cue to move on.

      Believe it or not, there are high quality women out there who are at least neutral about concealed carry and many who would prefer that you are armed.

  7. avatar tdiinva (Now in Wisconsin) says:

    Pro tip: If you are meeting someone for a little fun and games and are carrying make sure you have cleared the gun and removed the magazine. Also make sure you are carrying something designed by John Moses Browning. If your play partner is crazy or brings an unwanted guest (See Derailed) they can’t shoot you with it and you have a bludgeon at your disposal. Think about that Glock fan boys and girls.

    1. avatar Sammy says:

      Let’s not forget that you’re the one that made the idiotic comment about carrying a gun with the safety off.

      1. avatar tdiinva (now in Wisconsin) says:

        I see they didn’t like our exchange so I will try to use the TTAG standards for decorum. The purpose of sarcasm, irony or satire is to illustrate an essential truth. My purpise in this case had nothing to do with firearms. It was to illustrate the maxim “avoid doimg stupid things with stupid peopke in stupid places.” So the unload the weapon part of it was advice to those who are going to violate that maxim in a sexual encounter. That way you won’t end up with the cherished TTAG IGOTD award.

        And Sammy if you carry a 1911 in a holster with the thumb safety disengaged you still have the grip safety engaged therefire the weapon is being carried in a safe condition.

        1. avatar Sammy says:

          Attention TTAG readers,

          Tdiinva’s’ last sentence is proof that all of his advice should be ignored.

        2. avatar tdiinva (Now in Wisconsin) says:

          Sammy, Sammy. Sammy, must I explain to you again that the manual was not in the original drsign? It was a Cavalry Board requirement to ensure safe handling when handling an unruly horse.

          Here is experiment I want you to perform. Take a 1911 to the range and mount it on a Ransom Rest pointed down range. Chamber a round and then then pull the trigger without depressing the grip safety. You are going to be there all day and you won’t get a shot off. That is why they call it a safety. It’s no different than a Springfield XD. However, you can do something with a 1911 that you cannot do with Springfield. You can perform the operations with the highest probability of having an ND, i.e., chambering a round and clearing the pistol without releasing the grip safety.

          Tell you what, when I am handling horses I will engage the manual safety. Does that make you feel better?

        3. avatar Sammy says:

          Wow, you just keep thinking that. I don’t care if YOU have a ND. I just want to make sure the rest of the world knows how foolish your ideas are and to ignore your advice. And, don’t give that BS story again on how well trained you are. Your posts prove all that there is to know about you. PS: Sue your trainers

  8. avatar NYC2AZ says:

    What in the actual fuck… on multiple levels.

    1. avatar Marcus (Aurelius) Payne says:

      A knife. A knife in the fuck. It’s reviewed poorly from what I read.

  9. avatar Grindstone says:

    COMMENT DELETED –

    Please send all comments about TTAG’s editorial stance, style or choices to thetruthaboutguns@gmail.com, where they will be answered promptly.

    1. avatar Grindstone says:

      +1 on the personal blog crap. I’m getting tired of Tipton treating this like her personal diary. I’d bet money half her anecdotes are completely fabricated. But maybe I’m just cynical.

      1. avatar RocketScientist says:

        Is that what all the flame-deleted posts are about? I agree with you, for what it’s worth. I’m tired of all her look-at-me life blogging posts. Sometimes the connections with firearms is so tenuous its ridiculous. A 15-minute description of how tough her trip to the supermarket was, then at the end “oh i had a gun on me.” to make it applicable to the site. Thanks Sara! How is it that I know more about her life than about my sister’s? I know how many kids she has, their ages, what toys they like to play with, where she lives, what her husband does for a living, where she is moving to, what her thoughts on the pope are, what her thoughts on border crossing points is, what her medical conditions are, how her recovery form those medical issues is going, I know EXACTLY what she looks like (from all the selfies of her in various poses she posts with almost every article) etc etc etc. Just stop it.

  10. avatar Louis Marschalko says:

    The original news article says that the two men were members of a campus conservative group. “Cuckservatives” maybe?

  11. avatar Lucas D. says:

    Got it, I’ll make a point of keeping my firearms and bladed weapons stored safely whenever I share unfamiliar sexual partners with my friends of the same biological sex.

    Then I’ll make sure Pegasus gives everyone a safe flight home and that Lucky the Leprechaun gets it all on video for posterity, because so long as we’re dealing with impossibly crazy circumstances, why shouldn’t those two also be hanging around?

  12. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    Never had to worry about what a 3rd party was doing to me or my partner as I never had an urge to do a beast with more than two backs. I will go along with the statement that women can be crazy, but ya got to filter and always remember to apply the hot/crazy matrix to potential partners.

  13. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

    Sounds to me like someone wasn’t down with “Touch me in the morning
    Then just walk away”

  14. avatar Vhyrus says:

    If you don’t trust someone enough to show them your gun, you probably shouldn’t be having sex with them.

    As someone that partakes in moderately deviant sexual behavior, I can’t imagine a situation where I would be willing to get naked in front of a person I had even the faintest suspicion was homicidal.

    1. avatar Nathan Fellows says:

      Moderately deviant? Is that like “a little pregnant”?

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        Yeah, Vhyrus.

        About that ‘moderately’ thing, that’s probably a TMI here…

        You might get Dirk excited…

        🙂

  15. avatar Gunr says:

    Picked up a gal one night. Ended up at her place, did the deed, lights were low, didn’t notice there were several guns on the bedroom wall, till later. Kinda scared me. This was Kalifornia, and I wasn’t packing. The gal told me she was divorced or in the process off, and they belonged to he ex.
    Found out later from the bartender where I picked her up, that she wasn’t divorced, that her old man went away on business trips, and that’s when she went out.

    1. avatar Tony says:

      And that’s why you drive an old Skoda and shy away from any form of transportation, other than teleportation, to wit: “Physicists Smash Quantum Teleportation Record With 60-Mile Fiber Jump”

  16. avatar Jacob McMerth says:

    Flame deleted.

    Please address comments about TTAG’s stance and style to thetruthaboutguns@gmail.com

  17. avatar Marcus (Aurelius) Payne says:

    The problem with putting your dick in crazy is getting it back when you’re done.

  18. avatar Roy says:

    COMMENT DELETED

    There will be a housekeeping post later today for anyone wishing to point out the inadvisability of this or any other posts.

  19. avatar Mr. Antisocial Guy says:

    What is missing in RF’s story is this line from the news article “Jealousy during a drunken threesome involving current and former Yale students…….” The drunken part makes all the difference. There can be no situational awareness while you’re plastered. Which explains the knife, who in their right mind would have sex within reach of a knife? *Kinky Fetishes Excluded

    1. avatar LarryinTX says:

      I have to agree. All I can picture is blissfully rolling over to discover I need 20 stitches. WTF?

  20. avatar Michael says:

    I suggest that some need to calibrate their moral compass’. But I digress. It’s the moral decay of society in general that makes the news.

  21. avatar Michael says:

    On the other hand it appears that one did get off at least. From the ninth floor.

  22. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    Pro Tip: find a wonderful woman/man, get to know and trust them, marry each other, and have all the sex you want with or without weapons readily available and you won’t have to worry about this sort of thing.

    What I just described may not seem very “adventurous” … it sure works.

    1. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

      DING! DING! DING!
      I think we have a logical winner here folks.
      It’s hard to find yourself in dire circumstances like this case if you don’t ….everybody, all together….go around doing stupid things with stupid people at stupid places at stupid times.

  23. avatar McCann says:

    FLAME DELETED

    TTAG’s posting policy: no flaming the website, its authors or fellow commentators.

  24. avatar LarryinTX says:

    HEY! Can we get some durn video?

  25. avatar neiowa says:

    Pretty sure the 3x S covers this.

  26. avatar McCann says:

    Eds.-

    Criticism of a stupid post is not “flaming.”

  27. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

    Some of these comments were over critical, but some of them were funny. Deleting all of them seems a bit much. It’s your website do what you want.

    It’s funny because a poster claiming to be God can flame us, you don’t say boo, then you delete any post against that comments about your post in a negative fashion.

    1. avatar Stinkeye says:

      Whoa, slow your roll there, Jeff! That sounds like flaming to me. Your comment will soon be memory-holed…

    2. avatar Matt in FL says:

      God is dead. At least on this site. He may sockpuppet back up under another name at some point, and if he misbehaves, that one will go away, too.

    3. I’m a give R F a mulligan on this one.
      Nobody is perfect. E.g. Pope Francis.

  28. avatar Skyler says:

    Anybody else notice that the deceased’s friend said they thought he would be a senator someday? Yeah, that’s the Ivy League standard.

  29. avatar Grindstone says:

    Some thick skin there, Robert.

  30. avatar Lee says:

    Pro tip…if you’re going to experience in sexual deviancy, make sure its two women so if you do get murdered…at least everyone will not think you have homo tendancies.

  31. avatar TiC says:

    This is why you always follow the one pecker rule.

  32. avatar Dipper Pines says:

    Ha, who do you think you are writing like that?, Hunter S. Thompson?, William S. Burroughs?, very funny.

  33. Is this considered unsafe sex? Were condoms being used? Whee was the knife stored, were they in the kitchen? No double standards put the DC politicians on Obamacare and SS.Thanks for your support and vote.Pass the word. mrpresident2016.com

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