I ate a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios this morning. Normally, I quaff a glass of Amplified Gold 100% Whey Protein. But not today. Maybe it’s because I quit smoking cigars yesterday – the same day I ferried my second ex-wife to rehab in a two-hour adventure that easily qualifies as the worst car journey of my entire life. Real life. Where I don’t need a bullet-resistant vest. If nothing else, I look nothing like these brick shit house-built operators operating operationally (in slow motion!). Even their target looks cool. According to the “about us” boilerplate under the press release accompanying the video . . .
“RMA uses only the highest quality materials in its armor products to ensure that the men and women who protect this great nation are protected against any potential threat imaginable.” Good news! Non-law enforcement officers can buy the plates (click here for dealers), except where prohibited by law. The Level IV plate runs $700. As for protecting protectors “against any potential threat imaginable” how does RMA body armor protect OFWGs like me against obesity? Just wondering . . .