Question of the Day: How Many Gun Nuts Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb?

(courtesy telegraph.co.uk)

I thought long and hard about using the term “gun nuts.” Somehow this question/set-up doesn’t work with “gun enthusiasts.” Besides, there’s nothing wrong with co-opting the term from proponents of civilian disarmament. One of the great things about The People of the Gun is that (unlike our hoplophobic friends) we have a sense of humor. When was the last – or first time – you heard a gun control advocate crack a joke? So, anyway, how many gun nuts does it take to change a lightbulb?

comments

  1. avatar Fred Frendly says:

    If the light bulb was made by Glock, it will never break.

    1. avatar Dustin says:

      Glock is now owned by Al Gore because he invented the LED.

    2. avatar Galtha58 says:

      @Fred: Yes but it will be look ugly, be hard to hold on to and accidently discharge with the slightest error.

      1. avatar Fred Frendly says:

        You seem to have confused “Glock” with “M&P.” Common mistake since S&W, like most Glock imitators, completely dropped the ball with their wannabe Glock.

        1. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

          M&P ergonomics fit me perfectly. The glock not so perfect.

        2. avatar PsyGuy says:

          And so begins the CFL vs. incandescent debate…

      2. avatar Stuki Moi says:

        And the 40 watt version will Kaboom…..

  2. avatar Vhyrus says:

    At least 4: 1 to change it, and 3 of his buddies to argue about the wattage of the bulb he should be using.

    1. avatar GRDrane says:

      Hahaha! So true

      1. avatar Dustin says:

        Changing a lightbulb involves:

        1) knowing how
        2) doing work
        3) not being such a complete screw-up in every way that you won’t maim or kill yourself in the process

        Anti-gunners don’t do work, they collect welfare. Not only are they too good for work, it’s been so many generations since any anti-gunner did work that none of them know how. It’s too dangerous for them to do work anyway. That’s why they’re always so worried about safety. They could get their dick caught in the ceiling fan just trying to take a leak.

    2. avatar Lee McGinty says:

      Best answer ?

    3. avatar Lee McGinty says:

      3
      1 firing the weapon
      2 holding & loading the mags
      3 instruction on what # 1 is doing wrong

  3. avatar Brian in oregon says:

    None because thats what anti gunners are for

    1. avatar Fred Frendly says:

      Jason, leave this up ^^

  4. avatar doesky2 says:

    Three
    One to change the shade color to camouflage
    One to defeat its government voltage control so that it runs full-auto
    One to increase wattage to “kill your soul” level

  5. avatar doesky2 says:

    Three
    One to change its color to boudoir camouflage
    One to defeat the government prescribed voltage control of the new bulb so that it can run all the time (full auto)
    One to increase the wattage to “kill your soul” intensity level

  6. avatar Colt Magnum says:

    Just one, but keep several bulbs handy, if Gary McCarthy is in the area.

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Excellent!

  7. avatar Removed_californian says:

    Civilian-disarmament advocates always joke: “nobody is coming for your guns”, “we can ban assault weapons”, “gun control saves lives”, “30 caliber clip”, “30 rounds in half a second”, “GHOST GUNZ”…

    Wait they were serious about all that?

  8. avatar SCIENCE! says:

    Two:
    One to change the bulb and shout “RELOADING!”
    One to give the first guy covering fire with a flashlight.

  9. 2 gun nuts. 1 to shoot it, 1 to twist it out?

  10. avatar Dustin says:

    None. We’re such efficient baby killers that the bodies have piled up to the point that gravity has caused nuclear implosion and a new star has been formed. We don’t need lightbulbs anymore.

  11. avatar Jolly Roger Out says:

    It only takes one, but some states restrict you to 10 light bulbs or fewer per house. For the children.

    1. avatar Ing says:

      Why do you need more than one light bulb anyway?

  12. avatar GRDrane says:

    Two, one to change it, the other guy to watch your six.

  13. avatar SCIENCE! says:

    None (turns on thermal scope).

  14. avatar Second Amendment Lover says:

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    1. avatar Scott says:

      Winner!

      1. avatar Second Amendment Lover says:

        Shut up! You have no idea what I said. Sycophants are really annoying!

  15. avatar Sammy^ says:

    None if is the bulb is a semi auto.

  16. avatar Coffee Addict says:

    “WHY ARE YOU ASKING? AM I BEING DETAINED? AM I FREE TO GO? “

    1. avatar foo dog says:

      chuckle

  17. avatar Richard in WA says:

    It takes 150.

    One to change the bulb and 149 to argue that it was the wrong size bulb.

  18. avatar julian says:

    45. Duh.

  19. avatar Anon says:

    Whats the twist rate on that bulb? 1 in 12?

    I dont recommend you use 75 watt bulbs in there.

    1. avatar MattG says:

      Actually laughed out loud at that one.

  20. avatar jb says:

    Just say “one”.

  21. avatar Gunr says:

    Depends how high the bulb is.
    If your a basketball player, only one!
    If your a dwarf, mayby three, or four, standing on each others head!

  22. avatar LC Judas says:

    3. One to change the bulb, one to watch the area and make sure you don’t flag onlookers as you change the bulb and one to score your ability to change the bulb and base it on the current benchmark time.

  23. avatar Don says:

    The bulb never gets changed, we’re still waiting for the decision from BATFE.

    1. avatar JP says:

      On 3 working days delay. Good to go on 08/13/2015

  24. avatar JWM says:

    None. POTG ain’t afraid of the dark. And for the record, I’ve self identified as a gun nut since age 13.

  25. avatar Chicago Steve says:

    Whatever happened to the law forcing incandescent bulbs to go away?

    1. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:

      They decided to “Stand their ground”.

  26. avatar AaronW says:

    None. We use NVG.

  27. avatar Ralph says:

    Three. One to twist the bulb, one to flip the switch and a third to yell “going hot!”

  28. avatar Scottlac says:

    A 22 watt bulb will never get changed because there are never any replacement bulbs on the shelf. However there are plenty of FUD wattages available.

    When you are done, be sure to pick up your brass from the old bulb.

  29. avatar DrewR55 says:

    One.

    Why? Because we are self reliant and take trsponsability for our own welfare.

  30. avatar AW1Ed says:

    One. It’s an individual right, after all.

  31. avatar gsnyder says:

    1, a gun nut lobbyist.

  32. avatar ThomasR says:

    None. Because a true gun nut only uses his Surefire flashlight on his belt or the tac light on his gun for area illumination.

  33. avatar treefroggy says:

    Why are you going to change it if you haven’t tried cleaning it with Hoppes first ?

    1. avatar Ben says:

      there ya go. that is spot on gun nut behavior.

  34. avatar Roymond says:

    One, but only after the NICS confirms that he’s allowed to change a light bulb.

  35. avatar Roymond says:

    “Light bulbz??? We don’t need no steenkeen light bulbz!”

  36. avatar David in NC says:

    Zero, because we’re all cavemen, and light bulbs haven’t been invented yet.

  37. avatar Cadeyrn says:

    One to rail about the new LED bulb replacements, one to claim that the new ones are superior in every way lasting 10,000 hours, one to talk about what comes after LED bulbs, one to decry the mercury in the mini-fluorescents, one to claim they have stashed hundreds of pre-ban bulbs, another who remains suspiciously silent about whether they have a stash or not, one to grill them on why they’re not contributing, one to explain how they could have made a replacement bulb in this time from just sand and a blowtorch, one to keep watch for outsiders, one to go through the house looking for another operational light from which they can salvage a bulb, one to make a run for beer and chips, and one who goes to find the woman of the house to find out where the replacement bulbs are.

    1. avatar Scott C. says:

      ++1000, I actually laughed at that one, and can see it actually happening with my friends. BAHAHAHAHA

    2. avatar WhatAboutBob says:

      It’s ok to have an arsenal of 100watt bulbs, right?

  38. avatar Scott C. says:

    That’s easy: It would take all the gun nuts on the internet: 1 to actually change it, the rest to make up countless forums, websites and blogs for arguments as too what should be used: 1)Should said fixture be upgraded to 240 or even 277 volts to reduce damaging amperage, 2)should said bulb be low wattage to conserve power or high wattage for maximum power out put, 3) should the whole fixture be changed from screw in to stab in to make it more efficient or keep it screw in for convenience of finding future replacement bulbs, 4)What should said bulb be made of: incandescent for ease of use and popularity, compact florescent for newer upgraded efficiency or LED for the top of the line state of the art light output and longevity. and 4) what brand said bulb should be, ex. go with a brand like Lithonia or GE with an established track record of making a good bulb of multiple types, styles and wattage’s, a store brand so you don’t get ripped off by the big guys who make a living on their name, or an off brand internet bulb maker who is trying to get into the light bulb making market

  39. avatar Second Amendment Lover says:

    Great post!!!!!!!!!! Let’s have plenty more like this one!!!!! Lightbulbs are one of my favorite subjects!!! OK Mr. Farago – can you now answer my question? A bit off topic but relevant and important to some readers. Why can’t I see some recent posts, especially the post about P08 Lugers? I have a special interest in this particular handgun. This specific post and several others haven’t been available for a couple of weeks. I keep getting the “somewhat embarrassing” message. For the future, is there a better way to call your attention to fix the problem(s)? I’m sure a number of readers have encountered the same problem and want to know what to do. Help!

  40. avatar brian says:

    LED or Tungsten?

  41. avatar 505markf says:

    Puhlease… We are gun nuts. We don’t change lightbulbs. We grab a weapon with a shorter barrel and squeeze out all the illumination we need.

  42. avatar Jason W says:

    Just one, racking a shotgun – on hearing it the light bulb will need to change itself…

    1. avatar jsj says:

      Awesome.

  43. avatar AndrewinDC says:

    Nuts don’t change light bulbs, people do.

  44. avatar Bill Kohnke says:

    I’m not sure anymore, now that the SCOTUS has declared both AC and DC are legal.

  45. avatar Geoff PR says:

    One. Make an anti change it at gunpoint.

  46. avatar Ray Frisbey says:

    None. We use 30 bulb ghost assault clip magazines that auto load so it does it all by itself.

  47. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    Only ONE. See:Homer Simpson got a gun…

  48. avatar DrewR55 says:

    None. When the constitution was drafted our Founding Fathers never envisioned light bulbs so they aren’t protected.

    1. avatar OneOfTheGoodGuys says:

      +1

  49. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

    Only one AFTER they have passed an NICS check and insured that they not a veteran or can no longer buy their own bulbs and are now prohibited from screwing them in.

  50. avatar Brentondadams says:

    Three. One to change the lightbulb while the other two argue about caliber

  51. avatar Coffee Addict says:

    None. Light Bulb Grabbers posted a “No Darkness Allowed“ sign.

  52. avatar the ruester says:

    What, no “incandescent lights up the room, but led ignites your soul?” “Tesla made light bulbs, but Thomas Edison made them equal?” “Keep your damn booger hook off the bright switch, you’re running up the bill?” (got that last one from my pop.)

  53. avatar Tom Judikin says:

    The answer is two…Eh?

  54. avatar alanstorm says:

    None.

    The gun nut’s situational awareness will allow him to avoid the confrontation altogether.

  55. avatar Joe Shipley says:

    Two; one to change the bulb and one to tell you how much better the GLOCK bulbs are.

  56. avatar Chrispy says:

    I thought the answer to this joke was simply more guns…

  57. avatar John Smith says:

    “Firearms enthusiast”, please.

  58. avatar JJ48 says:

    Proper illumination being necessary to the vision of a free State, the right of the people to keep and change lightbulbs shall not be infringed!

  59. avatar Tim B says:

    Oh Lord! Berke Breathed’s riff on the NRa when Bill the cat was running for president. The gift that went out of control on Opus, causing him to put rather large hole thru the candidate. The candidate excercising his rights in the neighborhood when Jean Kirkpatrick refused his love suit. I’ve been a gun nut since I was a kid and I ’bout died laughing the first time I saw them.

  60. avatar jojo says:

    17. One to change the bulb only when told by the bulb officer while being timed by the bulb scorekeeper…directed by the chief bulb officer…with 13 other people either Dorking about and waiting for their chance, thinking about how they could have done it faster, or watching him to try to learn.

  61. avatar neiowa says:

    Do you have to pay a $200 fee/tax first and request gov’t permission?

  62. avatar Matt says:

    About one million of them to post about it on the internet debating, arguing over, and tolling each other about tactics/techniques of bulb changing, what they did when they were in country/the service, milspec versus civilian bulbs, what some guy they know who is delta/navy seal/socom/etc does, the efficacy of old bulb technology versus new bulb technology, the aesthetics of old bulb technology versus new bulb technology, wattage wars, misinformed opinions/facts/feelings/anecdotes, bulb vaporware, the pitfalls and benefits of professional bulb changing training, scorn and ridicule of casual bulb changers, bulb control, accusations of shilling for a certain bulb maker/company/brand, reviews of different bulbs, the classic incandescent versus LED arguments, etc etc.

    Somewhere in there you learn to ignore all the crap, opinion, and loud mouths and just change the bulb the way you see fit with the bulb that fits your life and needs.

  63. avatar Christhearmedpacifist says:

    If it was me, it would only take one….but I’m waiting for my 100w filiment dies from Lymon to show up. Those LEDs are so expensive when you can reload your own incandescents…

  64. avatar Chris Erickson says:

    Only one, but I’m still waiting for my Lyman 100w filament dies to arrive. Why spend the extra money on an expensive LED when you can reload your own incandescents….

  65. avatar Chris Erickson says:

    Sorry for the double (now triple) post, I am new the this intraweb thing…

  66. avatar thegrearclownpuncher says:

    None, I lost all my light bulbs in a boating accident.

  67. avatar bontai Joe says:

    Depends a lot on where the light bulb is. At my house, it just takes one gun nut. A porch light on the exterior of a Chicago south side row house? That would take 9, six to form an outer perimeter, 2 to directly protect the ladder, and one wearing class 4 body armor to climb the ladder and change the bulb.

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