Pop Quiz: What’s Missing From This List?

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It’s nice of our friends in the Federal Emergency Management Agency to help us plan for emergencies. Checklists like this can be helpful, reminding us of things we may need and hadn’t considered. But is it possible their list of emergency supply items isn’t quite complete?

[h/t mister3d]

comments

  1. avatar Addison in IN says:

    My DPMS AR-15, Ruger .40, Remington 12GA, and Smith & Wesson .38, with at least 10x capacity for ammo. And the whiskey, we must not forget the whiskey at all costs.

    1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      And don’t forget the ice. I like my JD on the rocks.

      1. avatar Addison in IN says:

        Cups may not be a bad idea, Jamison is my go to though

        1. avatar WRH says:

          Jameson? I’ll bring the ice (along with my AR, Glock and 870).

        2. avatar Paul says:

          Jameson is best neat.

        3. avatar JWM says:

          Is the Jamison in the easy to loot stores or in the stores protected by guys with shotguns? A valid question for the shtf.

        4. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

          Yes, cups. Cups are definitely necessary. Jamison is good but I learned whiskey from some Wisconsin boys. They drank a drink they called Jack & Jack. Start with a 32 oz. cup. Fill half way with ice. Take a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Yukon Jack. Fill cup. So tasty they sometimes got started on a second cup. Yes, don’t forget the cups.

        5. avatar Addison in IN says:

          I actually haven’t found a whiskey I don’t like yet. But in all honesty should the worst happen, and this country lose all financial value, alcohol would be a great thing to have around for bartering purposes.

  2. avatar 2AMexican says:

    I don’t see the Ruger 10/22 takedown or the Funions.

  3. avatar Ken in TN says:

    Surprise surprise.

  4. avatar GayGunOwner says:

    Cell phone and charger?

    Moms Demand Action membership card to thwart baddies?

  5. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    That would have been pretty funny if they listed ‘[] Firearm’.

  6. avatar Illinois_Minion says:

    Beer. How could they have forgotten beer?

    1. avatar uncommon_sense says:

      Dang it! You beat me to it. I rushed to put the same comment below before reading the previous comments. I tip my hat to you ma’am or sir.

  7. avatar CHLChris says:

    So the pet gets to eat and drink, but the family doesn’t.

  8. avatar Don says:

    Let’s not forget plate carriers for the whole family and a big med kit with supplies for knife and bullet wounds, splints, pain meds and antibiotics along with the defensive arsenal….. Couple trench shovels and a short handled axe….. and as Bill Fields would say “A large bottle of snake bite medicine, and one small garter snake for emergencies!”

  9. avatar Siris says:

    Clearly they forgot the rape whistle and score card.

    1. avatar OneOfTheGoodGuys says:

      And the “gun free zone” signs.

      1. avatar Tex300BLK says:

        Hopefully you already had those installed right next to the “baby on board” sticker on the back glass of your car.

      2. avatar Gary says:

        When Katrina hit, a guy I know in Louisiana and his neighbors painted a 4×8 sheet of plywood with the huge lettering that read, “Drunks with guns. You loot; we shoot”! They posted it at the entrance to their neighborhood and had ZERO trouble. No looting whatsoever.

  10. avatar CHLChris says:

    So the pet gets to eat and drink…but the family doesn’t?

  11. avatar CCDWGuy says:

    Nothing about food to last long enough to get to someplace where you can “harvest” game using the also not named weapon of some sort to protect self and family and use to hunt. Matches are great if you have some reason to hve a fire to cook something.

    1. avatar Tom says:

      Funny how they remembered food and water for the pet but not the owner.

      1. avatar Joe R. says:

        They remember Katrina, anyone deployed to that area during Katrina would tell you that the starving dogs ate the newly dead, the semi-newly dead, and gave the living a sideways lunch-cart glance. When reservists / National Guardsmen shot the dogs, the people complained and asked why. “So we can pick up the dead person it’s eating” wasn’t always a good enough answer, so the locals, hearing gun fire sometimes shot back.

        Thank you again evil house of blue liberal (D) bag, New Orleans during Katrina was just a nice ‘cautionary tale’ about what a 3rd world country you will turn America into if you have the chance.

        1. avatar Galtha58 says:

          Dogs are my kind of animal. Natural Opportunists. Hey, if you have to eat and there is a body laying around, why let it go to waste. Damn the NGs for shooting the dogs though. Not that hard to scare most dogs off. But let them get a good meal first.

      2. avatar foo dog says:

        noticed that too. not even a container – I guess we are supposed to drink the chlorox?

  12. avatar CHLChris says:

    So the pet gets to eat and drink…but the family doesn’t? Actually, having more than 3 days’ worth of food stored at one’s home is on the government’s list of indicators that one is a threat to the government, a possible terrorist.

  13. avatar Chip Bennett says:

    Well, there are two takes here:

    1. Pajama Boy will obviously need his flannel onesie pajamas, and hot chocolate packets.

    2. The rest of us will need firearms, ammunition… and coffee.

    1. avatar dh34 says:

      The way I see it, there’s basically four types of people in the aftermath…

      1. Those who are armed and prepared
      2. Those who are armed
      3. Those who are prepared
      4. Victims who chose to do neither.

      #3 tends to become the supply chain for #2 and #4, and only useful until the #2’s get bored.

      1. avatar Gary says:

        It is impossible to be # 3 unless you are also # 1!

        1. avatar dh34 says:

          Not necessarily. There are plenty of folks that think they are prepared becasue they buy in Costco quantities or have their urban hobby garden.

  14. avatar Roymond says:

    Camp stove? Lantern? Fuel for both?

    Real first aid kit?

    I couldn’t tell what sort of emergency this is supposed to be for, but it’s pretty thin.

  15. avatar Ralph says:

    Did FEMA list “feminine supplies?” Oh, I see they did. Well, then, I can’t detect anything important that’s missing.

    1. avatar An English Person says:

      Condoms?

      1. avatar Ralph says:

        If she needs the feminine supplies, you don’t need the condoms.

        1. avatar JWM says:

          Maybe Caitlin Jenner needs both?

        2. avatar dh34 says:

          “But it is, you know, a sacrifice required for the future of the human race. I hasten to add that since each man will be required to do prodigious… service along these lines, the women will have to be selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature.”

    2. avatar Sixpack70 says:

      A copy of the book “The Road”, so you know no matter how bad it is, it’s still not as bad as the scenario in the book.

    3. avatar Katy says:

      I will give them the feminine supplies. Going camping, we always carried (and still carry) maxi pads. If you have a bad cut, it’s a great tool for controlling and containing the blood until you can get to help – and one should be enough in all but the worst cases.

      1. avatar JWM says:

        combined with an ace bandage maxi pads make excellent temporary wound care. I have experience with same. Some lessons just hurt.

  16. avatar Chris M says:

    Where’s the knife. How could any emergency supply kit not include a knife as well as a flint & steel fire starter as the first items on the list?

    1. avatar OneOfTheGoodGuys says:

      Oh no! Those could be used as weapons! They could kill someone. Bad!

    2. A minimum of 3 ways to start a fire. Remember shelter, fire, water, and food.

  17. avatar Pieslapper says:

    Valium (for me), for when she/they (all daughters) need the feminine supplies.

  18. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    Well it does say ADDITIONAL items-maybe they meant to say guns and booze…

  19. avatar JWM says:

    Assless chaps, football shoulder pads and helmets with horns on them. Dog collars and chains and padlocks.

    Did I forget anything?

    1. avatar dh34 says:

      I prefer goat leggings to the chaps myself…

    2. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Well now JWM, since this has disintegrated quite rapidly, I’d say you forgot the double headed-sister twister…

      1. avatar JWM says:

        In my defense, TIO, I waited til those others diverted this serious discussion of survival matters into booze and ice cracks before I jumped the tracks.

        Has ever one of these threads stayed completely on topic?

        1. avatar Cj says:

          Not that I’ve seen… and I’ve read everything on here at least once.

    3. avatar Matt in Maine says:

      A nail bat. Duh.

  20. avatar Rusty Shackleford says:

    But our government will protects us…………

  21. avatar Gunr says:

    Good heavens!
    They forgot Toilet paper!
    Got to have lots and lots of toilet paper!
    One roll for every year over 40! Double when you get to 65!

    Don’t forget the friggin Toilet paper! Ever!

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      “Don’t forget the friggin Toilet paper! Ever!”

      Bidet, Gunr.

      A warm water bidet is worth 2 easy, er, make that ‘friendly’ women…

      🙂

      1. avatar Gunr says:

        And what are my buddies gonna say to me when they see I brought along a frigging bidet!

        1. avatar JWM says:

          Don’t worry about your buddies opinions. You’re probably going to have to eat your buddies to survive anyway.

      2. avatar Galtha58 says:

        Yeah, good luck packing that bidet around with you. And warming the water for that matter. Unless you have your own solar power and are still in your home. If that is the case you better have LOTS of ammo and some very good weapons. A few Privates to watch all 4 corners of your property would also be a good idea. Perhaps a couple of very large, hungry dogs to stand watch.

  22. avatar dh34 says:

    I thought we were just supposed to leave everything behind and quietly cue up for our place in a boxcar so we can relocate to a re-education center.

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      Oh no! Your allowed to take one large suitcase with all you money, jewelry and valuables inside, and when you get to your “re-education” center, the jack booted “school” master tells you, they will keep your valuables in a safe place for you!

      1. avatar uncommon_sense says:

        I thought dh34 had the win for the day but you, sir, did one better and won the Intertubez for the day!

  23. avatar Gunr says:

    We don’t need any “feminine” supplies, our dog is a male!

  24. avatar Matt says:

    This list looks like it was pulled from the Boy Scouts camping manual. Semper Tu

  25. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    What’s Missing From This List?

    Emergency Beer of course!!!!!!

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      ALL beer is “emergency beer!
      unless you mean the extra “in case of famine” beer you bring along in case you run out of the “Extra” beer, and the emergency beer.

  26. avatar actionphysicalman says:

    Knuckle foil, coach.

    1. avatar JWM says:

      You gonna bring the Hansen brothers with you?

      1. avatar actionphysicalman says:

        Yup, no “old time hockey” either!:-)

  27. avatar Gunr says:

    Blow up doll!
    Unless your over 75! In that case maybe some dirty pictures will get you through the rough spots!

    1. avatar dh34 says:

      I believe the actual nomeclature for that would be:

      floatation device, inflatable, feminine shaped, with internal storage pockets, 1 each.

      1. avatar Gunr says:

        You meant “one” for each day of the week didn’t you?

  28. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    Loving Lamb, the blow up animal sex toy.

  29. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    The pet food is superfluous as the dogs and cats can eat the corpses.
    Games and puzzles for the children. Really? The game will be survival and the puzzle will be where and how to get food and water.

    1. avatar Dean Carpenter says:

      Direct link

      1. avatar Matty 9 says:

        Oh yeah, that reminds me. A copy of Dr. Strangelove, and a dvd player that runs off of the cigarette lighter.

      2. avatar Gunr says:

        The nylon stockings, is that for the “blow up” doll?

  30. avatar Bud Harton says:

    Viagra!

    Wait!

    Did I say that out loud?

    1. avatar Fred says:

      Is that to go with the assless chaps?

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        “Is that to go with the assless chaps?”

        No, K-Y Jelly is for the assless chaps…

        1. avatar Gunr says:

          Vaseline anyone?

  31. avatar Scottlac says:

    Is this the packing list for going FEMA Camping?

    1. avatar vv ind says:

      This list is far more extensive than the fema camping list. That reads as follows:

      Starbucks gift card
      Marshmallows and Hershey bars
      Guitar
      Flipflops
      Bug spray

      1. avatar JSJ says:

        Not just any bug spray, must be Patchouli scented repellent.

  32. avatar Cj says:

    Seriously, that’s all you would take? In the book Lights Out anybody who went to a FEMA center had basically everything and anything they brought confiscated so it could be “redistributed to those who need it” which makes me think I’d be happier outside the wire. I like my pocketknife… it’s mine darn it.

  33. avatar gsnyder says:

    I thought FEMA takes guns from people during an emergency?

  34. avatar Matty 9 says:

    Lots and LOTS of high proof ethyl alcohol (everclear is an example). It’ll degrease machinery (weapons included) disinfect ANY surface, and mixes well with your favorite drink. Hint* use half as much as you would regular vodka, you don’t wanna die now. Also all of the weapons and ammo. If room is left over, bring the cat too, the dog may get hungry ?.

  35. avatar John Fritz - HMFIC says:

    Hmm. Didn’t see my VEPR 5.45 and two Spam cans of ammo listed there.

    Must’ve been an oversight.

  36. avatar Adub says:

    I realize this is the wrong site, but in a SHTF emergency, one should probably have a good bow and a lot of arrows. They’re quiet and reusable, so you can hunt without attracting attention. Guns draw attention. 🙁

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      Think “surpressor”

  37. avatar foo dog says:

    Raincoat? Poncho? Tarp? construction strength 55 gal trash bag, something for shelter?

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      You can put Geoff PR’s, Bidet over your head for shelter!
      (rinse first).

  38. avatar WebHobbit says:

    Surprised no one mentioned flashlights, batteries and battery charger.

    1. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

      Great point, but this is a gun website so, yeah guns first. Also this says in addition to your kit, they probably have another list that wsays food, water, flashlight, radio. But I thought you used oil lamps and candles in the Shire?

  39. avatar tsbhoA.P.jr says:

    towel.

    1. avatar JWM says:

      Hitch hiker’s guide to the galaxy. Or a nam grunt.

  40. avatar J O E says:

    Credence tapes.

    1. avatar JWM says:

      Phuckin’ A.

  41. avatar Galtha58 says:

    Wonder how much these Govt Stooges get paid to assemble this incomplete list ?

  42. When telecommunications audit is conducted, billing analysts most often examine just a small subset of invoices associated with the largest spending leaving hundreds, thousands, even millions of dollars not found in other telecom spend areas. What’s Missing #4 – How do MRC’s affect your P L?

  43. avatar Pamela Sutton says:

    A radio to know what is going on. For the love of God toilet paper or don’t sit by me!! Dish soap something to cook in,batteries,guns,fishing gear,ammo.

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