Enter the best comment below by midnight Sunday and we’ll send you a nice baseball-style shootin’ cap courtesy of Henry Repeating Arms.
The man with a checkered jacket often has a checkered past…
Dude! Where’d you get that jacket!
“You dirty brother!
You killed my rat!
I’ll kill you, like you killed my rat!”
Good one !
“Try makin’ fun of Caitlyn Jenner again, and you’ll be singing thru yer windpipe…”
Dysfunctional family Thanksgiving
“Put the knife down Johnny, I’m carving the turkey this year!”
“Leave me in a shallow grave to die, will you Benny? Thought you washed your hands of me, did you Benny? Lady Luck’s not so kind to you now, is she? The radscorpions outside of town will make a fine meal out of your worthless hide…”
Although in a bit of a pickle, Frankie was ecstatic it was Jerry shoving a gun in his throat and not Christine…everyone knows becauseguns.com models have poor trigger finger discipline.
“SCOTUS ok’ed Gay Marriage so you’re coming to the chapel with me NOW, Frank!”
Although embarrassed at having been thoroughly trounced in a “21 Foot Rule Challenge”, Ricky thought it was a little over the top for Sam to pull the old “gun to the throat” celebration move, even if it was to try to impress Vanessa.
I’ve told you for the last time. It is a gun in my pocket, and I’m never happy to see you.
Tough Tony made it clear that an impromptu bris was not on his list of things to do on the 4th of July.
We observe the adult male human’s mating ritual from a distance. The checkered human attempted to assert dominance to win over the female by attacking with a knife. His opponent, a more mature and older human pulls a gun, ending the encounter and re-establishing his superiority, and insuring his able to procreate.
How many times do I need to tell you, I said, GLOCKS SUCK. Not my wife Gloska
The Fashion Police enforce the “no checkered jackets” after Labor Day rule
“Make him stop wearing my clothes!”, Linda demanded.
Dumba$$, you don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!
Now I got you right where I want you.
“Don’t shoot! I’ll marry your daughter!”
Should’ve gone to Florida with Jerry and Sugar Kane…
I told you, you touch her, YOU KEEP HER!
Are you sure this is how you remove a skin tab?
In the traditional Festivus celebration, the Airing of Grievances is followed immediately by Feats of Strength.
You got my vote
You have two options, you can try the knife or you can take the sure thing and answer my question. Why do kids love the taste of cinnamon toast crunch? Answer the question dammit!
Hows about I give you a new horizontal windpipe!
“Now listen see…You’re gonna award that Henry Rifle Cap to Model 31 and you’re gonna have this dame deliver it.”
She may be a lying bitch, but like I told you Bill, you will marry Hillary!
Is that a gun in your pocket ok no its not.
“What do you mean all I get if I win this stupid contest is a hat? I thought I was getting a rifle!”
She was a classy dame, but she never could choose between The Truth About Knives and The Truth About Guns.
” HA, go ahead, you won’t pull the trigger!”
” what makes you so sure I won’t, Johnny?”
” that’s a .22 you got there. You probably don’t even have the bullets.”
You got the winner !!
Bill and Ted were vying for the chance to date Nancylou. Instead of going with the traditional “Rock, Paper, Scissor”they went with the new “Stabby, Shooty.” Bill is dead and Ted is doing 15 to life.
And Nancylou? She’s living in a trailer park with 6 kids from 4 men and weighs 2 fiddy….
“I… will be in you by any hole that is or is not there”
Hey checkout my new gun-shaped electric razor!
Over the line Donny!
Just gimmie three steps mister, an you’ll never see me no more!
“I’ll ask ya one last time …. where’s my Henry rifle?”
“See, this broad Pelosi here says to take your gun, see?
Man robbed at gunpoint in business declared a “Gun Free Zone”
I thought you said you had a long colt.
I don’t care if she used to be a CNN anchor…give me all your cash…
Look, My wife is tired of the”just the tip” jokes.
And boom goes the dynamite.
“Hey, man, now that gay marriage is legal, you don’t need a gun to force me to marry you!”
This is Chicago buddy…
“Now look here Sweeny Todd, next time you shave my transvestite friend here, I don’t wanna see no stubble in the moonlight. It spoils the whole thing, see.
Never bring a butter knife to a gun fight!
“I bet you’re thinking you can stab me in the neck before I shoot you in th… “
” Jim, I said I’d try anything once, but this fetish is getting a bit elaborate…”
Sheesh…all I said was do you want butter on your toast.
Julie says, honey the old saying is true never bring a knife to a gun fight!
Behind every successful man, is a great woman.
Behind every fight between two men, there she is again.
“For the last time, Johnny. I’m too drunk to drive!
Now take us home or else!”
She said “Let’s you and him fight!”
(AKA Games People Play)
Quick Jane find a first aid kit, he is choking and I’m going to give him a tracheostomy, meanwhile Jim who was worried about the bullet tried to hand Dr Hammer a knife to perform the procedure. After the procedure Dr Hammer told the reporters that when the only tool you have is a pocket pistol, you can still try to fix anything.
The 1911 is the king of all firearms. Try me one more time!
“Why the butter knife?” queried gun totin’ Tom.
“Because you said to butter her face” responded Brucie.
“You moron”, replied Tom. “I said she’s a butter face!”
“What, pray tell, does that mean?” beamed Brucie.
“It means, I like everything about her…BUT HER FACE!!”
“Hold the scalpel for me, while I probe for that goiter with my gun.”
jimmy open the powder room door, now! she just had coffee and a bran muffin…
For the last time, Dean, I told you NOT to bring her back! I’m done with her sh*t!
‘I wouldn’t do it unless you put a gun to my head.’
For the last time it’s a MAGAZINE, not a CLIP!!!
What makes you more uncomfortable, where the gun is or where I am?
Bob, I told you to stop borrowing my clothes without asking. That’s my favorite smoking jacket and fuzzy tie.
“You can keep your silly hat. I want the rifle!”
Oh Johnny, that’s not what I meant when I said Carlos was buttering my buns.
Maria suddenly recognized the true extent of her husband’s fetish…..
This lady only wants my gun, see?
Oh dear, it appears I’m too late. At any rate…
“Show me on the gun where he touched you…”
Eddie has another run-in with the Fashion Police.
Dude, it’s only a squirt gun…
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