Where the hell did I put my glasses?
I laughed. Outloud.
Because I do that
I did it last week. And then I put on my glasses to help me find the glasses that I was wearing. And then I made a martini because I needed one.
You don’t “need” martinis, you want martinis!
I’ve woken up and put my glasses on and thought, “why is my vision so blurry?” Then I realized I fell asleep without removing my contact lenses.
One time I accidentally put my brother’s contact lenses in and thought I had dropped mine because everything was still blurry. His prescription is far weaker than mine.
And I’ve heard of people who thought their contact lenses were still on, but stuck… and were well on their way to removing their corneas before they realized their mistake.
I’d give all these guns up for a cure for baldness.
Crap! Jim, have you seen that AR that was sitting on the counter when that group from Mom’s demand action was in here a few min ago?
Which firearm to clean first?
No, we don’t have a barrel shroud, that’s is shoulder thing that goes up.
…WHAT?!?! I’m in a GUN store?!?
So is the Sig Brace a stock or not
Is this an AR pistol or a SBR
Oh No! I’ve been selling evil tools of death all this time!
No caption can top the actual quotes in the related story.
“It is certainly the most unusual case I’ve dealt with. The man had been shot in the back and the bullet lodged in the testicle. I think the surgeon felt it should be looked at.”
-Obama said what the other day concerning Europe?
“As a forensic expert for the National Ballistics Intelligence Service (NABIS) at its high-security laboratory in an anonymous building in a Birmingham suburb, Tony and his colleagues know what they are talking about when it comes to weaponry in criminal hands in Britain.
The little-known agency keeps a low profile, but it is key in the fight against gun crime which has seen the number of offences involving firearms fall in England and Wales from 24,000 in 2003 to 9,555 last year.
Although gun crime remains rare (there are about 900 incidents a year in which a weapon is actually fired or brandished), it remains a grim reality, with police armed response vehicles carrying out some 13,000 operations a year…”
“Chet, did we get that load of cop killer bullets for that watts women yet? She’s been in here twice already asking about it. That funny eye and sideways face gives me the willies.”
“Is it too late to open a comic book store?”
Was this machinegun made before or after 1986, ah crap.
Did i just say “clip” to that customer when I was trying to sound like a know it all operator?
“You mailed the receipt to my wife?”
In case anyone was wondering… beer in the sinuses hurts like hell.
They legalized what?
And made what illegal, now?
That spring couldn’t have disappeared.
I don’t know, a double barreled 1911?
“Why did I buy a standing worktable without adjustable legs?”
Did he just say 40 bullet banana clip?
Ahhh… topical humor based on a news story from today! Brilliant!
Mr. Dude sir, that literally just won the internet.
I forgot to mark non-hispanic
Last time Obama started pushing Gun Control, we doubled the size of the business! My wife might leave me!
Finding himself suddenly surrounded by black assault weapons, Mark Kelly breaks down from total overload of irrational fear and desperately wishes he was back in space, where most fears are much more rational.
And no one can hear you scream.
“Why…WHY did I open a gun store in Kalifornia..?!?!”
Note to self: don’t let people test fire weapons in the show room.
Oh no! He said to use your double barrel shotgun and shoot it in the air! All I have are rifles! How will I keep up with the new demand for double barrel shotguns?!
We’re going to need a bigger gun rack.
Obama said what?! Now I gotta cancel my vacation, we’re gonna be swamped with customers!
“WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME I WAS GOING BALD?!”
Man oh man, what the heck am I going to do?
That shipment of shoulder things that go up got back ordered and we put them on sale in the flyer for the week end sale.
“They want ME to officiate at a pro-gun gay marriage?”
I can’t believe it! Diane Feinstein just strolled in here when we didn’t have any customers, and bought a machine gun, and 5,000 rounds of ammo!
Gosh Darn it! What am I going to do. That was my last detent spring and it just sprung halfway from here to…what am I gonna do man, What am I gonna do. I can’t wait another week for Amazon to deliver. I’m gonna cry…I just wanted to get thus build completed.
If that’s the invisible man at the door, tell him I can’t see him.
No! For the last time, the Glock 43 will not make you shoot like Jerry Miculek!
You know what I think?
The ATF is asking me to ship guns to ISIS, but they’re willing to pay MSRP…
I did not, I repeat, I did not answer the question on the 4473 that prohibits bald people from owning a gun wrong….I have two hairs that indicate I am not bald and this is not a “straw bald” purchase for another really bald person.
I swear I just had some .22’s here a minute ago……
Sons of Guns got cancelled! ?
“And here we have a rare look at FirearmsConcierge when he hears a customer walk in.”
Oh crap! The ATF is going to be here in 5 minutes and I can’t find the paperwork for this MG-42. How am I supposed to give this over to the Zetas Cartel without it?!
I never should have finished LOST.
You’re telling me that two dudes can get married but I can’t get a ccw permit!
Listen…it was the eighties man…booze and blow all over…su-su-sussudio seemed like a good idea for a song at the time…
What you do have 22 LR ammo ?!?! I think I’m going to faint.
So many guns, so little time.
“The paperwork for buy all these guns required me to pull out all my hair. Literally, they demanded DNA samples. Now I can’t buy any more guns…”
“It’s the guns I didn’t buy that I spend the most time thinking about.”
What the hell is a “PMR-30”?
Now where did my Confederate Battle Flag go
“Hey Joe, some guy from LA said he needs a bullet button installed on this thing… What the fuck is a bullet button?!?!”
When I was pwning n00bs in Call Of Battlefield, was I grenade spamming while running the SPAS-12, or sniping out the window with the SVD?
“Any one see where my roll of tax stamps went? I’ve got a big pile of approved Form 1’s and 4’s just sitting here!”
Phew! We haven’t had a gun scare for a while now. I wasn’t sure how I was going to pay my mortgage on the hunting lodge I built after the last scare. I think I’ll name the place Barack Acres.
Wait, Jeb won? Shit, how am I going to move all this stock now?
Rats! I mixed up the Frog Lube for the guns and the Simonize for my head-again !!!
Lemme git this straight….You actually prefer the b*stardized NYS compliant ARs???????
… hell, at that point, just get a Garand.
I know what your husband said Mrs Biden, but I don’t have any 12ga. shotguns that shoot softer than an AR15.
Are they reading the same 2nd Amendment as I am?
Yo Vinny… This Guy’z asking for 22 ammo…
“What do you mean you dropped the log book in the toilet…?”
2004? Was it? when we last had .22 Long Rifle bricks in stock
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