Business Opportunity for the New Millennium: Training Dogs to Assume the Position

Screen-Shot-2015-04-06-at-4.08.05-PM

It’s come to this in the state of citizen/LEO relations: if by some misfortune you find yourself interfacing with a member of the local constabulary and your hound is anywhere in the immediate area, there’s at least a reasonable chance that Fido won’t survive the encounter. But at least one Brazilian bowser has figured out how to live through such confrontations. When the policia raided a home in the town of Santa Catarina recently, a dog that was present began to do what dogs do when unexpected commotion commences; he barked at the officers who had burst in . . .

That kind of instinctive response doesn’t usually end well for cop-confronted canines. As ijreview.com confirms,

According to Metro, local police generally shoot animals that are present when they are carrying out armed raids. But because this dog followed suit when his owner and owner’s companions were ordered to hit the deck, shooting him was never considered.

Whew. As someone who’s more owned by his dogs than a dog owner, I can’t watch the vids like those at the link above showing the boys in blue plugging Pugs and offing Affenpinschers.

But I know a business opportunity when I see one. There must be a vast, untapped market for dog whisperers to increase their business by selling a new service to owners in the know. Every well-trained Weimaraner should know how to drop and go full-supine upon command, no matter how many SWATties just kicked in the door. If it saves only one puppy….

[h/t Blake H.]

comments

  1. avatar Vhyrus says:

    Better idea: Pet crocodile + soft body armor. Teach him to eat chicken off the ankles of a navy blue mannequin.

    1. avatar JasonM says:

      All the cop has to do is run in a serpentine pattern, and the croc will never catch him. 🙂

      1. avatar Stinkeye says:

        At least half the cops I see seem to be incapable of any sort of running, serpentine or otherwise.

    2. avatar chuck (hates nj) says:

      Trap doors above every entrance triggered to release when the door is opened without the knob being turned dumping black momba’s on uninvited intruders (let’s call them what they are)

  2. avatar neiowa says:

    That position would be know as the “kickin chicken” in NBC training drills.

    I wonder if a dog can be taught to react to the scent of jelly donuts (as Terminator movie series cyborg guard dogs).

    1. avatar B says:

      Train your guard dog not to do his job.

  3. avatar Bob Wall says:

    You’re right – “It’s for the puppies!”

  4. avatar Geoff PR says:

    “Every well-trained Weimaraner should know how to drop and go full-supine upon command, no matter how many SWATties just kicked in the door.”

    Won’t work.

    Too many will think it will never happen to them (or their dog)…

  5. avatar bontai Joe says:

    I’m totally flabbergasted. I don’t know if the dog shown is really smart to know how to avoid being shot, or a really bad watch/guard dog that will roll over for belly rubs by anyone walking by whether he knows the people or not.

  6. avatar TheSleeperHasAwakened says:

    They’ll still cap the pooches no matter what.

    1. avatar Shire-man says:

      This. I bet they get extra tacticool points for the small ones, sitting ones, running away ones, tail wagging ones and kenneled ones.
      Get an elderly chihuaha wagging a tail strapped into a little doggy wheelchair and kenneled and that cop will win a medal of honor.
      Do it in front of a crying little kid and it’s promotion to six figure pay.

  7. avatar Bobing says:

    “I’m sorry, sir, but we have to arrest your dog. He’s guilty of possession. Of a belly too pettable so we’re taking him in.”

  8. avatar Oakriver says:

    When dogs lie on their backs and show their bellies it is a sign of submission. How will the dog differentiate between a police officer and someone else?

  9. avatar Franko says:

    Do they shoot cats too or is this just more interspecies racism? If they do. I’m teaching my boy, Otis to hide.

  10. avatar Joel in PA says:

    Yea, I can’t see my killer Yorkie doing that….but, whoever shoots my dog, better have there affairs in order….

  11. avatar Alan W. Rose says:

    If you pick your dog up to protect him, you are brandishing a deadly weapon. Game over. You’d think by now every SWAT team would have an Animal Control Officer with a full auto tranquilizer assault rifle to put down loose canines.

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

button to share on facebook
button to tweet
button to share via email