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It’s come to this in the state of citizen/LEO relations: if by some misfortune you find yourself interfacing with a member of the local constabulary and your hound is anywhere in the immediate area, there’s at least a reasonable chance that Fido won’t survive the encounter. But at least one Brazilian bowser has figured out how to live through such confrontations. When the policia raided a home in the town of Santa Catarina recently, a dog that was present began to do what dogs do when unexpected commotion commences; he barked at the officers who had burst in . . .

That kind of instinctive response doesn’t usually end well for cop-confronted canines. As ijreview.com confirms,

According to Metro, local police generally shoot animals that are present when they are carrying out armed raids. But because this dog followed suit when his owner and owner’s companions were ordered to hit the deck, shooting him was never considered.

Whew. As someone who’s more owned by his dogs than a dog owner, I can’t watch the vids like those at the link above showing the boys in blue plugging Pugs and offing Affenpinschers.

But I know a business opportunity when I see one. There must be a vast, untapped market for dog whisperers to increase their business by selling a new service to owners in the know. Every well-trained Weimaraner should know how to drop and go full-supine upon command, no matter how many SWATties just kicked in the door. If it saves only one puppy….

[h/t Blake H.]

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18 Responses to Business Opportunity for the New Millennium: Training Dogs to Assume the Position

  1. Better idea: Pet crocodile + soft body armor. Teach him to eat chicken off the ankles of a navy blue mannequin.

  2. That position would be know as the “kickin chicken” in NBC training drills.

    I wonder if a dog can be taught to react to the scent of jelly donuts (as Terminator movie series cyborg guard dogs).

  3. “Every well-trained Weimaraner should know how to drop and go full-supine upon command, no matter how many SWATties just kicked in the door.”

    Won’t work.

    Too many will think it will never happen to them (or their dog)…

  4. I’m totally flabbergasted. I don’t know if the dog shown is really smart to know how to avoid being shot, or a really bad watch/guard dog that will roll over for belly rubs by anyone walking by whether he knows the people or not.

    • This. I bet they get extra tacticool points for the small ones, sitting ones, running away ones, tail wagging ones and kenneled ones.
      Get an elderly chihuaha wagging a tail strapped into a little doggy wheelchair and kenneled and that cop will win a medal of honor.
      Do it in front of a crying little kid and it’s promotion to six figure pay.

  5. “I’m sorry, sir, but we have to arrest your dog. He’s guilty of possession. Of a belly too pettable so we’re taking him in.”

  6. When dogs lie on their backs and show their bellies it is a sign of submission. How will the dog differentiate between a police officer and someone else?

  7. Do they shoot cats too or is this just more interspecies racism? If they do. I’m teaching my boy, Otis to hide.

  8. Yea, I can’t see my killer Yorkie doing that….but, whoever shoots my dog, better have there affairs in order….

  9. If you pick your dog up to protect him, you are brandishing a deadly weapon. Game over. You’d think by now every SWAT team would have an Animal Control Officer with a full auto tranquilizer assault rifle to put down loose canines.

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