[h/t Jim T.]
Are you my mummy?
Well, I think we’re done here.
…nice Dr. Who reference!
My jaw dropped when I read that! The -only- full episode of Dr Who that I ever watched since the Tom Baker days, and it gets referenced here. What are the odds of that??
BTW none of the other Doctors could even begin to hold a candle to Tom Baker. I tried watching the modern ones and I never even made it through a full episode.
Can’t beat that one.
Luke I am your father.
You beat me to it, but it sure does fit
Did I see you take a pack of gum from the 7-11 Jimmy? Well, did I?
winner right here….of course now I’m a racist cause the kid is of color,,,,right? (sarc)
Are you going to eat those fries?
Hey kid, ever play with a flash-bang? (snicker)
Yeah I’m the one that shot your dog……..what are you gonna do about it?
….. and I’m gonna shoot your cat tomorrow and your little brother next week. Get used to it.
Can I search your bag?!
more like ‘give me the bag now!’
You can have the ice cream, kid, but sorry, sprinkles are for winners.
Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?
Followed up with:
“Joey, have you ever seen a grown cop naked?
Kid, do I have to send you to the Group W bench?
Nice Arlo reference!
Can I see your ID kid? We got calls that someone suspicious was sitting at this counter. I need to make sure you aren’t a felon and you are allowed to be here!
But officer, you were here before me.
Doncha know you ain’t sposed to be at this counter, Boooy?!?
Well…, would you trade my rifle for your fruit snacks?!?
Welcome to Obama’s America kid!
Hey kid, I can get ya some xm855, cheap.
There goes my iced tea all over the keyboard. This one’s a winner for me.
Well played, sir.
I am your father, Luke!
Can you say cur-few, little boy?
i better see those hands in the air ….NOW!!!,,,Mr. Brown
I see you left your bag unattended there, boy. Why don’t you go ahead and pick it up.. go ahead pick it up… put your hand on it.. pick it up… I said pick it up! Pick! Up! the bag! come on! REACH FOR IT!!!!!!
EAT YER PEAS… KID.
Coffee…is for CLOSERS.
Say Barney again!…. I double dog dare you…, Say Barney again!…. Say it!!
I’AM THE LAWWWWWW!!!!!!
It’s rude to fart and wear a gas mask!
Listen kid… we democrats changed the Filibuster rule last year so we do stuff OUR WAY NOW , get it ? Rebublicans are bought and paid for ..Lets see them try to change it back !. Ha Ha .. Its All OURS NOW !!!!! The shheepple are all asleep.
“Another day in Amerikkka when Hispanic-Aryan-Supremacist militia member George Zimmerman brutalized a toddler of color for buying skittles with the money he earned saving puppies from the slaughterhouse.”
I’ll have a extra large chipotle burrito and a–
Hey kid, did you fart?
I’m from the government and I’m here to help.
See, don’t you feel so much safer now that only the police have guns?
Ferguson, Mo., 15 years earlier…
Nope, this is my regular duty gear………..
I found it in the MRAP the feds gave us to help “Protect and Serve” you………..
Kid to Officer: Your breath REALLY stinks!!!
Yea kid, I did see the ” NO FIREARMS ALLOWED” sign….cops are special. Got anything I should know about in that bag of yours? You look guilty to me.
Mind if we dance with your dates???….Just kidding kid, you gonna finish those fries?
This vest is just police surplus kid… I’m only the neighborhood watch.
Did you say “Yes Sir” or “Yeah sure”?
“Hurry up meow.”
I don’t WANT a large Farva, I want a goddamn liter o’ cola!
In my day we used blanks….
“Who the f#@% is Norman Rockwell?”
” ‘Norman Rockwell?’ He sounds like one of them domestic terrorist types.”
Rockwell? No, son, I rock excellent.
Yeah, well, Mr. Rockwell isn’t here now, is he?
So your outbound and tracking…good luck, I’m busy serving myself and protecting my pension…so your on your own, just like your mo
“No, I don’t know why Chris Kyle doesn’t have a headstone. Just drop it already, kid!”
“What’chu lookin’ at? Don’t make me ‘fear for my life’, kid.”
You think you got it rough? Try eating a sundae with this mask on!
Yet another minority kid that’ll be scared of the police their entire life.
Children learn what they live.
“…was that a bark?”
“Papers pleaze. Heir bloomturd says nine to ze large sodas, unless you haf ze proper papers.”
Kid, I’m the only one in this room professional enough to handle this black rifle.
Playing hooky just got real.
Woah! You eyeballin’ my piece, 50 cent? Go ahead, make somethin’ happen. ‘Cuz I guarantee I’ll bust you up.
Officer Fife did not notice that when little jihad timmy left the counter he did not take his cute little book bag with him. Officer Fife will realise his mistake in 10, 9, 8,……
Whaddya mean you don’t support a public day of mourning and a statue for Chris Kyle!? What are ya, a Muslim or a Commie…or both! Wait a minute, you’re a midget Obama clone come to take my guns and give me free health care. The terror!
Yeah, free health care. Right. Listen, come back when you understand that nothing is free, you entitled liberal prick. Until then, go play with your toys and let the grown ups talk.
“He who smelt-it dealt-it.”
Remember Elian Gonzalez?
Didn’t think so.
“Careful son, I might have to arrest you on suspicion of having too much freedom.”
Yo homeboy you got any Looseys.
If Trayvon had an intervention like this he still would be a d-bag.
Pass the pepper spray the chilis for wimps.
“It’s for the children.”
What you got in the backpack kid?
Son, I am going to have to confiscate your bacon, it may have been part of a mass cooking with high capacity skillets.
You’re not heading for Syria are you kid?
You think it’s easy being a school crossing guard?
During a break in action with a local hostage crisis, Officer Dudley stops by for some pie and coffee.
Give the Officer a harrumph… You watch your @$$.
Ever seen a grown man naked?
Have you ever been in a cockpit Timmy?
I just want to wish you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.
“Get. Your own. Goddamn. Milkshake.”
Officer William’s mask obviously hadn’t been properly sealed when he raided the Meth lab, as evidenced by the fact that he was wondering around gibbering, still wearing a smattering of SWAT gear.
“Go ahead and eat, son. My body camera can’t be switched off during my shift.”
Hey kid, you wanna see a dead body?
Hi, I’m Kory Watkins. Coming to your pre-school to reassure you about open carry in Texas.
Barney ‘Nip it in the bud’ Fife Was my grandfather. He had one bullet and a revolver. Look what I got.
Why are you resisting arrest?!
I’m the one yur mama warned ya about. Boo!
If you want a Pepsi, you’ll have to pay for it.
One day, when you grow up…you too can be a jack-booted thug!
It’s ok kid. I’m with the government and I’m here to help.
You’re an operator? But how do you answer the phone with that mask on?
Norman Rockwell meets George Orwell
Yeah, I remember the days when this country was a lot more Norman Rockwell and a lot less George Orwell. I miss those days, a lot.
“Could you unbuckle this thing for me, kid? My fingers are all greasy…”
Just your typical encounter while playing Fallout.
50s decor: check
little lost orphan: check
useless guy running the place: check
character armed to the teeth with full body armor: check
stay safe and watch out for Deathclaws everyone.
+1 bottle cap
Don’t feed the Yagui!
Don’t feed the Yao guai that is all.
“I can’t believe these people whining about the ‘militarization of the police’, we’re just here to protect people from themselves and- HEY, you even listening, KID? “
When you run from me, you’re going to trip on your untied shoes and I WILL catch you. Should have listened to your daddy and learned how to tie them…
Dude, Magic is for Babies. Waa-Waa. Come LARP with me.
See my backpack mister? I carry concealed.
“Hey mister, does having all that gear make you brave?”
In Bloomberg”s ideal America-.
Mr Brown: See here ma’ boy, if you wanna carry when you grow-up you gonna have to dress like him, cause you don’t look like me…….
Officer Washington agrees with a nod…..
From behind a mask
P.S.-anyone notice that the cop is black?
You don’t mind if I pat you down for my safety?
Why do police wear all the combat gear you ask? To protect us from the citizens that serve us of course.
I’m a jackbooted thug and I will shoot you.
“Today’s public service announcement: Storm Troopers Are People Too”
“Look, Kid, the AK/AR debate is settled. End of story, go back to drinking your root beer float.”
Now, slowly hand over that Pop-Tart gun……
I am supposedly related to Norman Rockwell…. not sure how, but a distant relative.
“Looks like you got an 12oz. malt there. You know you’re restricted to 10oz. or less without a permit, right? Well, let’s see your papers!”
Sooo…again, I’m really sorry about the dog…those teacups sound Sooo much bigger than they look. The ice cream makes us evens right?
This mask keeps the stench of freedom out of my nose.
Don’t play stupid games and you won’t win lead prizes.
“Resistance is futile. You will adapt.”
“You smell like pot.”
Hey Kid relax, it’s ok. Black lives do matter.
“Mall ninja master’s master.”
“Norman Rockwell’s America? Never heard of it!”
“Don’t worry, kid… I’m from the government!”
No, really, I’m just here to make sure no one feels intimidated while they are exercising their constitutional rights.
Gecko45 eats breakfast with the locals.
“Skipping school again?”
“You done with that ketchup kid?”
You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Hey kiddo. I’d like to talk to you about an exciting and promising adventure in Mary Kay distribution.
Someone should show her this to help her memory:
Yes son, this is the land of the Free and Home of the Brave. But I am afraid that you will try and use the Bill of Rights to protect yourself. So, don’t be afraid, just do as I say, not as I do.
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