Incendiary Image of the Day: Facebook is Not Sending Gun-Themed X-Mas Cards to the Feds

facebook-reporting-guns-to-homeland-security

Axl Rose is not dead. Yet. And Facebook isn’t sending copies of gun-themed Christmas cards to the local constabulary. Onion-esque news satire site empirenews.com started the second rumor. “Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg confirmed rumors this morning that the company would be handing over names and photos of site users who have posted pictures of themselves with guns to the government,” the lead proclaimed. “Democrat leaders applauded Facebook’s move, stating that it is important to know who has guns in America, especially since many of the weapons that they’d seen could very well be unregistered.” The Zuckerberg quotes are my favorite bit . . .

”I don’t understand what the big deal is, I mean it’s right there in the user agreement. Line 27 , page 134 of the policy that all users agree to when signing up. The subject clearly states ‘Any and all user information will be shared with Homeland Security upon request from the department.’ It’s right there in black and white. Or blue and white, as the case may be.”

When asked why Facebook would be so willing to work with the government, Zuckerberg said that he was just trying to ‘do his patriotic duty.’

“I added that line back in after 2009, when Obama took office. After he was elected, he came to me and asked for my help, saying that he wanted to ‘transform America,’ and he couldn’t do that until the country was disarmed,” said Zuckerberg. “This is a perfect way to find the gun nuts in this country, and keep a watch over them. I think the whole thing has been a huge success, and I for one can’t wait to live in a gun-free America.”

Personally, I’m waiting for a free gun America. FWIW.

comments

  1. avatar Scrubula says:

    Just saying, The Onion and all of it’s clones are not satire. Their purpose is to get views with outrageous headlines, not criticize something with humor.

    I don’t think it’s all that hard to find pro gun people online. Search subscription databases on youtube for pro gun channels, find anyone who likes a specific facebook page, etc. I’ve given up on the idea on anonymity because it’s not realistic anymore.

    If such data were to be used against ‘domestic terrorists’ on a broad scale, I think we would all be rightly concerned.

    1. avatar John Thomas says:

      maybe not, but “Wendy’s To Phase Out Unpopular Hamburger Sandwich” made me laugh until i choked.

      1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

        This is one of my favorites. It was in the onion a few years back.
        Reprinted in Recoil magazine. If you’re married or in a relationship, you will laugh, shake your head, sympathize, empathize, then grab a beer and go hide in the basement behind some cardboard boxes.

        http://recoilmag.com/area-husband-pretends-to-give-a-shit-2/

        1. avatar George Clavin says:

          That never appeared in RECOIL, just on the website.

  2. avatar tom w a glock says:

    wait. what? couldn’t transform the country until the country was disarmed? why does that leave me with an uneasy feeling?

    1. avatar Treedodger says:

      Anyone paying attention to his actions already knows this, but for someone to outright quote what Obama has publicly denied is a whole new thing. If conservative media and gun rights groups do not attack and publicly ridicule that quoted statement, they cannot claim to represent either group. The fact that Zuckerberg quotes him as making such a statement to disarm America is huge and once again proves what a liar he is. This should get huge attention and be attacked by every single gun rights group in existence.

      1. avatar ropingdown says:

        These are fake joke quotes, not real ones! Zuckerberg owns guns, and has (albeit recently) learned to hunt, shoot, field dress, skin, butcher, and cook his own animal-based food.

        1. avatar Treedodger says:

          I need to lay off the coffee so late at night……..My brain skipped right over the satire part and went straight to quotes. Too bad there is not a delete button. That would save a good bit of embarrassment.

        2. avatar Ryan says:

          I have seen Zuckerberg toting a shotgun in hunter camo.

          I have never hunted and have zero desire to kill anything with my guns, ever.

          And yes I know how hypocritical that sounds.

        3. avatar Phil says:

          Yeah but all “Elites” are just above all laws. One way or the other, they will still have guns… They just don’t want everyone to have them. We saw it so often with Gun Control advocates that have armed bodyguard or even CCL.

          Let’s keep in mind who did finance Facebook (US Gov) and the influence of the Jewish lobby on Gun Control (just as much as Democrats Representatives).

          But luckily, not everyone falls for that, and we still do have some people with real common sense, like here with RF, or some organisations such JPFO.

      2. avatar Texas4Life says:

        Bwahahahah

  3. avatar Geoff PR says:

    “Axl Rose is not dead. Yet.”

    To my never-ending dismay.

    1. avatar AllAmerican says:

      +10000000000 You win.

      The day “Chinese Democracy” debued on the radio in 2008 I nearly hurled while driving my truck, and as soon as it was over, the radio announcer said it perfect, “So, that’s what 15 years and 27 millions dollars sounds like…”

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        Guns N’ Roses actually reformed in 2004. As Velvet Revolver.

        The parts of G’nR that were worth a sh!t, anyways.

        Slash and Duff’s autobiographies are well worth the read.

        Steven Adler’s came across as a whiner.

  4. avatar Jon says:

    Loved the piece the site did about Kanye West…

    http://empirenews.net/kanye-west-insists-on-nobel-prize-claims-he-brings-peace-everywhere-he-goes/

    Dead on. That tool is so full of himself, he would f__k himself if he could!

    1. avatar NYC2AZ says:

      And if he can’t screw himself, he’d be more than happy to screw a few male fish.

      1. avatar Reggie says:

        I smack that marlin ass, I make that grouper butt shake
        I come to yo ass and have an orgy in your mf’n fish tank!

        In the pantheon of South Park songs, that one is up near the top.

  5. avatar Your government says:

    Please continue sending photos of hotties….errr….’gun fanatics’ of the female persuasion to us.

  6. avatar Jim says:

    So I almost forwarded this article on to someone when I re-read and noticed this comes from a satirical news site. Sure would have felt stupid had I done so. I think the satire stuff should be labeled more clearly, especially when including quotes of real people. Or maybe your typical readers are more adept at spotting this than I am 😉

    1. avatar Treedodger says:

      Some are obviously not, I hate to say, LOL.

    2. avatar Jon says:

      Why not forward the article anyway?
      ….Then you can tell them it’s satire after they let out their rage. Remind them that this could actually be happening behind out backs though. Another reason why not to support Facebook… “All your data belong to us!”

      1. avatar Jim says:

        Jon, you make a good point and it is why I don’t typically discuss my gun ownership on Facebook and discourage my wife not to either. However, in this age of ever prevalent Internet myths, I want to be as reliable a source of information as possible. Yes, the information transfer could be happening, but “could” isn’t the same as “is”.

        We need to realize that any data we post online is owned by someone (whoever owns the site we are interacting with, including this one!), not just Facebook. Additionally, our information can be analyzed and intercepted at any point as it travels through routers, servers, etc. The government doesn’t need Facebook whatsoever to know who we are and what we are saying. Heck, you may have seen the news story a couple weeks ago where they were using planes that had technology that simulated cell phone towers to intercept call location and other data! The surveillance state is getting absolutely out of hand 🙁

  7. avatar Jan Pierce says:

    Ha!

  8. avatar Grindstone says:

    To those whose first thought that this was a real article: Learn how to think critically. That means questioning not only that which you disagree with, but also that which supports your worldview.

    1. avatar Jim says:

      I think the issue is more “read carefully” than “think critically” 🙂 It is easy to scan on the net and I jumped to the quote too. Since some of the language and format follows the form of a real article, it was easy to jump over the satire part. Plus, I think the post itself was a bit obscure so two way street there 🙂

      1. avatar Grindstone says:

        But before you realized it was a fake article, you didn’t feel the need to fact-check it, did you? THAT is what I am referring to.

  9. avatar TheSleeperHasAwakened says:

    The Austin, TX Police Chief said earlier today that Gun Enthusiasts need to be turned into the police and people who own AK-47s are dangerous to the community.

    And this isn’t satire!

    http://legalinsurrection.com/2014/12/austin-police-chief-we-need-to-vet-gun-enthusiasts

  10. avatar Juan says:

    I had to take a second look. I didn’t notice the gun at first glance.

  11. avatar former water walker says:

    In my radical younger days(I voted for McGovern) I read National Lampoon. PJ O’Rourke when he was evil. THAT was funny. The Onion and it’s ilk not so much-to me anyway. Then again Zuckerberg IS the anti-Christ 🙂

  12. avatar SIES says:

    Hard to imagine anything Americans need more in the old-age of the new and improved ’Disinformation Age’ than more disinformation. Clever as the potato-heads may erroneously believe themselves to be, the best of their efforts pale in comparison to the half-truths, partial truths, omissions, obfuscations, fabrications and outright lies being constantly spoon fed to the otherwise trusting masses.
    That stated, at this juncture of American history the only headline in the following shortlist that isn’t readily believable is an Executive Order to change U.S. currency from the dollar to the Euro.
    Without Hopey Changey’s picture on it? Not a chance.
    Besides, the most likely change from fiat currency issued as U.S. debtors notes will be to the Amero Dollar…at a speculatively devalued exchange rate of around 25%.
    (BTW the last ‘headline’ on the list below is factually true. Not that it matters.)

    Facebook Submits Names Of Users Posing In Pictures With Guns To Homeland Security
    President Obama Launches ‘Gas For Guns’ Exchange Program; Announcement Strikes Controversy
    Obama Signs Bill Forgiving All Student Loan Debt
    Obama To Sign Executive Order Changing U.S. Currency From Dollar To Euro.
    It’s Official, The Second Amendment Gives Citizens The Right To Bear Arms.

    Do No Harm / Successfully Defend
    ( editor needed, inquire within )

  13. avatar Paul53 says:

    Hi guys. Sorry I’m late. Looks like you have it all under control. The blond in the picture looks like she’d be fun to talk to. Just give me her number and I’ll leave you to discussing the article. Boy has she ever got nice…….trigger discipline.

    1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

      Ah yeah, that’s right, maintain that trigger discipline. I just went from cold bore to full on hot.

    2. avatar Curtis in IL says:

      I’m pretty sure those are aftermarket triggers.

  14. avatar Nelson says:

    Facebook, CIA, In-Q-Tel: look them up.

    FaceBook IS the de facto NSA. They don’t kneed warrants when the sheeple are freely supplying for anyone to see. People never learn. Surprised that people are surprised.

  15. avatar Ralphie says:

    Who is Mack Phuckerturd and who’s face is on what book?

  16. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    “When asked why Facebook would be so willing to work with the government, Zuckerberg said that he was just trying to ‘do his patriotic duty.’”

    Hell yeah! Apple pie, BBQ, baseball, and snitching, nothing more American.

    Just smell the freedom!

  17. avatar cmeat says:

    look closely and you can just make out the pigtail from our “we vibe2” charger.

  18. avatar Yellow Devil says:

    As I often quip, Facebook is just a Government sanction plot to circumvent the 4th Amendment through our own volunteered stupidity.

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

button to share on facebook
button to tweet
button to share via email