OMG! Eddie Eagle! Teaching Kids Gun Safety! OMG!

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“Guns lead to thousands of deaths and injuries among children every year. More American homes have guns than dogs, and nearly 1,500 children younger than 18 years of age die from shootings every year. The onus of these innocent lives lost are not on the children; they are on the irresponsible adults who are leaving loose firearms in their homes. Of course, it is important to educate children on what to do when they come across dangerous situations, such as unsupervised firearms. But why put the blame and pressure on children to handle dangerous firearms correctly?” Wait, does your head hurt after reading that, too? Good, I thought it was only me. What passes for logic in Anna Eskamani’s green-skied world evidently means lamenting the deaths of children who find unsecured firearms while decrying attempts to teach them what to do if they find an unsecured firearm . . .

Poor Anna. There she was “tabling” (I’m not sure either) at the youth-oriented Seminole County Day of Unity when up saunters someone handing out Eddie Eagle coloring books. Really, are there no depths to which the nefarious National Rifle Association won’t sink?

As I flipped through the pages of this children’s activity book, my innocent curiosity quickly shifted to annoyance and then disgust. This was a book written for preschoolers to first graders with the intent of teaching kids not to play with the guns that they find through the hero-like advice of a large talking bird. This alone is an unlikely scenario; and the crux of the story revolved around a rifle in a grandmother’s basement — another falsity in modern life because in reality, millions of children live in homes with guns and more than half of parents do not keep their guns locked and unloaded.

Yes, Anna. It’s highly unlikely that a large talking bird will really be there to intervene if little Sammy and Suzy run across grandpa’s forgotten old .22 in granny’s basement. Which is kinda the point, no?

But the NRA’s perfidy gets worse. Much worse.

What made my heart even heavier was the fact that I was given this book in Sanford, the very city where Trayvon Martin, a young unarmed African American boy with Skittles in one hand and iced tea in the other, was shot to death in 2012 via Florida’s Stand Your Ground law. What an insensitive piece of literature to pass out to a community hurt by gun violence in such a horrific way.

You know, she has a point. Given the fact that a teenager was shot to death under questionable circumstances there, Sanford really should be designated a firearms safety education-free zone for the next decade. At least. For the children.

So as an NRA member, I’d like to apologize on behalf on the entire organization, Anna. It’s obvious — or should be — that efforts to teach children who may find a gun to stop, don’t touch, leave the area and tell an adult are terribly inappropriate and unforgivably insensitive. And I’ll do my best to contact the NRA brass and see to it that if you ever have children of your own, Eddie keeps his distance so they’re never burdened in this way with the kind of knowledge that may one day save their lives.

comments

  1. avatar MattL says:

    Words cannot even begin to describe that kind of non-thinking.

    1. avatar peirsonb says:

      Dunno, is “derp” a word?

      1. avatar Taylor TX says:

        Blast, you beat me to it! But we had the same response, derp is indeed a word and a perfect description of what we just read.

      2. avatar JR_in_NC says:

        I dunno, man. “Derp” might be generous in this case.

        “Potato” came to mind, but that’s also an insult to potatoes, and they don’t really deserve that.

        1. avatar Kstan says:

          I can count to POTATO!

        2. avatar Grindstone says:

          Is no potato. Just disappointment. Such is life.

    2. avatar Royal Tony says:

      This is the aftermath of stupid eating asinine for breakfast.

    3. avatar doesky2 says:

      But I’d bet a 50 that on the other hand that she’s all for stealing children’s innocence by teaching them about oral and anal sex and demonstrating condom use in grade school.

      1. avatar cmeat says:

        that’s a bet. fifty will get ribbed condoms for the boy, mint flavored ones for the girl and a couple bottles of wookey jack to loosen up the old lady, so to speak.

  2. avatar Mark says:

    How many of those 1500 “children” killed by firearms were engaged in criminal activity at the time of their deaths?

    More than a few, I’d guess.. and until the other side gets the math right, I’m not inclined to play their little games.

    1. avatar NJ2AZ says:

      also how many of those “children” were 19 or 20 or whatever ridiculous cutoff they use and still say “children”

      1. avatar JR_in_NC says:

        According to the feds, “children” can mean up to 26 years old.

        http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/faqs/faq-dependentcoverage.html

        The Affordable Care Act requires plans and issuers that offer dependent coverage to make the coverage available until the adult child reaches the age of 26.

        So….

      2. avatar SteveInCO says:

        However the blather in question does say younger than 18. Now that doesn’t mean that the number given is in fact correct for that constraint, but they at least are being somewhat specific instead of hoping you won’t realize they mean 21 year olds.

        1. avatar Rad Man says:

          “millions of children live in homes with guns and more than half of parents do not keep their guns locked and unloaded”

          Still waiting on the citation for that one.

  3. avatar John M. says:

    This is just industrial-grade emotional thinking.

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      Industrial-grade emoting. The word “thinking” belongs nowhere near that twaddle.

  4. avatar Jeremy S says:

    This is the math. The actual count of accidental firearms deaths in 2013: http://www.nssf.org/PDF/research/IIR_InjuryStatistics2013.pdf

    1. avatar Mark says:

      Exactly ! According to the nssf, 62 deaths of children under 14 were accidental. 600 total deaths in the us due to firearms accidents, including people of all ages, so 1,500 deaths under 18 includes a lot of murder & some amount of justifiable homocides.

    2. avatar Scrubula says:

      Wow, people are more likely to die from frostbite or heat stroke in their homes than accidental firearms deaths.

  5. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    Um… that was lean, not tea and stand your ground laws had nothing to do with the Travon Martin case since once you’re pinned under an attacker who’s beating your head into the concrete, there are no avenues for retreat.

  6. avatar Royal Tony says:

    Its times like this when remaining civil with these types gets to be real hard. My gut reaction is to just start shouting. “Insensitive” she says. I have absolutely HAD it with all the sensitivity crap being pressed on everyone. But I guess that’s just because I haven’t checked my privilege and accepted their Great Progressive Truths.

  7. avatar drav says:

    Wow….I mean really….wow lol
    That whole article is wtf

  8. avatar JeffR says:

    What a maroon.

  9. avatar Geoff PR says:

    Look out, fellow Floridians, here is how that article ends –

    “Fortunately, there is good work already being done here in Florida and in other parts of the United States. Just last week, Washington voters easily approved a measure to expand background checks to cover all private sales and transfers of firearms, and the League of Women Voters of Florida has a strong Gun Safety Committee that is focused and studying the issue of gun safety here in the Sunshine State.

    This isn’t about gun control — it’s about gun safety. And I think even Eddie Eagle would agree to that.”

    Washington State gun control, on the way to Florida.

    1. avatar Ing says:

      Yep, look out, Florida. And everywhere else. Idiots are everywhere, and and this hand-wringing hysterical female is singing their siren call.

      Individually a person may be sensible (even smart), but people as a whole are dumb, panicky beasts — and thanks to their billionaire backers and the progressive lapdogs in the press, our opponents have exclusive access to the panic button.

      If they can’t get our legislators to do it for them, they’ll convince the people to do it to themselves.

    2. avatar Daily Beatings says:

      Doubt it since Republicans now have a super-majority in the Florida house. She’s just butt-hurt over the mid-terms swinging her arms at everyone and everything.

    3. avatar Chip Bennett says:

      If Washington’s UBC law were in effect while Trayvon Martin was still alive, then he would have been in even more legal trouble, given his attempts to buy and sell firearms, as documented in his text messages.

      Also: words written on a piece of paper killed Trayvon Martin?

      The Fatuity is strong with this one.

  10. avatar Don says:

    When they live in Bizarro world, there’s no point in talking to them… and even though I may get banned for saying this, it sure seems like the women that think this way outnumber the saner ones a long ways. Not to say that there aren’t men preaching this “correct think” but most of those just want guns taken from everybody but them and their guards…….

    1. avatar Kstan says:

      So am I to understand that there exists such such a thing as a sane woman??

    2. avatar Bob101 says:

      I think it has more to do with the Progressives marketing their ideology to women because they assume women will be more susceptible to their emotional argument. My wife recently pointed out that 25% of conceal handgun licenses in Oregon were held by women. Oregon being one of the most left leaning states, I can only conclude that this anti-2nd amendment movement is losing overall. She uses Washington as a success use case, but in reality, they had to use deception to get that law passed. I give that law two years before it is either tossed in the courts or legislated out of existence.

  11. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    Cute but damn she is slow

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      Dirk, I’m sorry, but she is too damn stupid to be cute. I can’t think of a single thing she got “right’ in that article, right down to syntax and grammar.

    2. avatar Cody says:

      I was gonna say I’d give her my Eddie the eagle, but then figured that might be rude.

      1. avatar Marcus (Aurelius) Payne says:

        I’d settle for giving her the bird.

  12. avatar JR_in_NC says:

    “nearly 1,500 children younger than 18 years of age die from shootings every year. The onus of these innocent lives lost are not on the children; they are on the irresponsible adults who are leaving loose firearms in their homes. “

    The logic fail is strong with this one. Good grief, she’s got some bastard child of a combination of:

    https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/composition-division (did not segregate child shooting death data into types or by firearm source)

    https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/the-texas-sharpshooter (cherry picked the data she did present)

    https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/false-cause (loose, unattended guns cause all child shooting deaths)

    and with a healthy dose of

    https://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/begging-the-question (the conclusion, that the responsibility is on the gun owners for leaving guns lying around is also her premise, that those gun owners are responsible for the child deaths by leaving guns lying around)

    This would be an excellent case study example for a Logic 101 course.

    I’m not sure who paid for Anna’s formal education but they should, perhaps, ask for their money back.

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      They should have demanded it back as soon as they found out she was using it to pursue “Women’s Studies”.

  13. avatar Ralph says:

    High estrogen does not necessarily correlate with low intelligence, but sometimes it does.

  14. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

    Well one thing is for sure, I NEVER EVER have to shovel up poop from my gun, my gun doesn’t bark at 3:00 in the morning and piss off the neighbors, I don’t have dead spots all over my yard from where my gun pissed and appendix carrying a dog will get you arrested.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      If mine ever barks at 3:00 in the morning I’ll be needing a lawyer…

    2. avatar Daily Beatings says:

      … and appendix carrying a dog will get you arrested.

      I don’t think it will …

      http://www.drsfostersmith.com/images/categoryimages/highdef/9N-81103-FS63443C_320_W-dog.jpg

      …but maybe it should?

  15. avatar JR_in_NC says:

    Read the comments. Not one single one agreeing with her. All call her out for her utter and total failure at even coming close to making a cogent point.

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      Read her Linked-in profile (click on her photo above). You shouldn’t be surprised at any of it.

      1. avatar JR_in_NC says:

        Yeah, Uh…wow. Quite a resume.

        I guess actual productive work need not apply anymore?

  16. avatar Another Robert says:

    I’m trying to figure out why finding a gun in grandmother’s basement is a “falsity” when there are millions of children in homes with unsecured firearms. Seems like the latter would logically make the former a “likely event”, not a “falsity.”

    1. avatar JR_in_NC says:

      Dude, if you try to put your mind on a level to make sense of the dog vomit that that woman wrote you risk permanent damage.

      I fear for your safety.

      I’m trying to block out that I read it as a defense mechanism.

      1. avatar Another Robert says:

        Yeah, really I’m not trying to hard. Actually, I’m starting to wonder more what kind of “news” publication engages her as a regular contributor. Hell, she doesn’t even know that “onus” is a singular noun, not a plural. (That devious “s” on the end must have tricked her).

        1. avatar JR_in_NC says:

          I’m guessing spelling did not “count” in her Women’s Studies classes at UCF.

          Gannett owns that rag site. Says a lot. Actually, I’m surprised they are allowing the comments to her article that are on there (at least were last I checked). Pretty scathing, and not as “polite” as we are here.

        2. avatar Another Robert says:

          Or number, or subject predicate agreement, or rational thought, or…..

        3. avatar Ralph says:

          Hell, she doesn’t even know that “onus” is a singular noun

          i guess she figured that onus is the plural of anus and just went from there.

  17. avatar Dave357 says:

    “What an insensitive piece of literature to pass out to a community hurt by gun violence in such a horrific way.”

    We live in truly sensitive times.

    1. avatar Chip Bennett says:

      Hey, Maybe if Trayvon Martin had read Eddie Eagle, he would have known not to try to grab George Zimmerman’s holstered firearm when he saw it. He might even still be alive today, if only for Eddie Eagle.

  18. avatar Dev says:

    I’d be shocked to find out that she can walk and chew gum at the same time without falling over in confusion.

  19. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    Innocence and annoyance and disgust, oh my! Between shifting annoyance and double clutching disgust, it’s no wonder our plucky heroine’s heavy heart is in full free fall. Although, Eddie Eagle, the brave and true, whose safety rule is just for you, may not be the true source of her consternation. She seems troubled and overwrought from the start.

    Really, Eddie is putting “blame and pressure on children to handle dangerous firearms correctly” in her view? “Stop. Don’t touch. Leave the area. Tell an adult.” What pressure? Is there more pressure than in other instructions which kids already contend with? “Look left, look right, and look left again”, “Don’t talk to strangers”, and my favorite, “Stop, drop, and roll!” Wow, talk about pressure!

    It’s up to kids to assess spatial relations, velocities and accelerations of multiple lanes of traffic before crossing the street. Get it wrong, and you’re flatter than Frogger. It’s up to kids to determine which adult presents stranger danger and which is a trusted authority figure. Don’t mess it up or you’ll end up on a milk carton. Then there’s the counterintuitive immolation instructions they’re supposed to remember when the heat’s on, so to speak. Sheesh. By comparison, Eddie’s advice is pretty laid back and low maintenance.

    Likewise, there’s no blame on anyone in that advice, and handling the firearm at all, in any manner, is specifically proscribed. Now, let’s contrast that with some other high profile, animated admonishers out there, shall we?

    Woodsy Owl: “Give a hoot! Don’t pollute!” Yikes. Strong stuff there, demanding that kids adopt a certain worldview and modify their daily behavior for life.

    Smokey the Bear: “Only YOU can prevent wildfires!” Serious pressure in that tone and definitely blame in his literal finger pointing. Bambi’s whole habitat hangs in the balance of one kid from the suburbs acting responsibly. What kind of monster are you, kid?

    McGruff the Crime Dog: “Take a bite out of crime.” What’s a kid supposed to do with that order? Go vigilante? Become a narc? (Don’t snitches get stitches?) That’s a high pressure command to act, and a little violence-suggestive, too, I might add. Otherwise, it’s the kid’s fault if adult criminals conquer the city?

    I don’t know what to tell you, Anna, but that you seem like a nice lady and I can tell that you really care a whole lot with your whole heart about kids and their lot in life. You may want to lay off the cloying column writing, though, just relax, and spend the next Seminole County Day of Unity just singing “Kumbaya” around the, campfire. Well, maybe not an actual campfire. More like the campfire app on your Apple or Android Internet-enabled device because, you know, that whole wildfires and immolation thing would pressure and blame the kiddos, don’t you know?

    1. avatar JR_in_NC says:

      Well done.

      Gannett should publish this as a response.

      Seriously. Good job.

    2. avatar Chip Bennett says:

      This might be my favorite TTAG post comment of all time.

  20. avatar Paelorian says:

    “Of course, it is important to educate children on what to do when they come across dangerous situations, such as unsupervised firearms.”

    Apparently not? The point of her essay is that such education is inappropriate. How can she say that “of course it’s important to educate” while condemning efforts to do so? I guess it goes to show the quality of her thinking. It’s likely she’d also make a statement akin to “I believe in and support the Second Amendment, but I don’t at all.

    1. avatar Marcus (Aurelius) Payne says:

      Progressive thinking is intrinsically schizophrenic and self contradicting. It consists on whatever thought is politically correct for the moment. As a generation with shorter attention spans become the spokespeople for progressive causes expect the contradictions to get easier and easier to catch on the first try.

  21. avatar Anonymous says:

    Sweet Jesus. She didn’t think any of that though did she. Her solution is to… “remove education”, about guns. Because education about guns is bad?

    There is the solution people. Think less. Learn less.

  22. avatar v v ind says:

    She is he next generation of big city politicians, public school teachers and MDA member….

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      Well, she IS a bigwig in the local Democratic Party…

  23. avatar Marcus (Aurelius) Payne says:

    Literally: “kids find guns and shoot themselves to often, but the NRA shouldn’t teach kids abouti gun safety because not enough parents leave guns out for them to be effective.”

    Anna is what happens when your snort beach.

  24. avatar Gruney says:

    Fail to the derp power. Super concentrated fail. A case study in contradictory drivel. I could go on. I am moving from WA to FL and if that brain dead “UBC” law follows me I am just going to throw a hissy fit and emote all over everyone. It won’t be pretty.

  25. avatar Jay-El says:

    Next stop: Attorney General’s Office, Sacramento, California

    My God, what a stupid, petty, mistaken person.

  26. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    But why put the blame and pressure on children to handle dangerous firearms correctly?” This could be applied to any of a number of potentially dangerous situations in a child’s life such as crossing the street, playing with matches, being around a controlled burning fire, being near a cliff, being near a large wild animal, being around a horse or a dog, being near a fast moving river, being in a swimming pool or a lake, the list goes on and on.

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      Aside from the fact that Eddie Eagle’s whole message to small children is to _not_ handle firearms _at all_!

      1. avatar Indiana Tom says:

        I have seen the Eddie Eagle jingle and it is okay for kids up to a certain age I guess. I personally liked my Grandfather’s approach better in demonstrating how guns work, shooting some things, having me shoot some things with a single shot .22lr rifle, and stressing to only use the gun under adult supervision..

  27. avatar PeterC says:

    She’s concerned for the children, but volunteers for an organization that kills babies.

  28. avatar Sock Monkey says:

    “But why put the blame and pressure on children to handle dangerous firearms correctly?”

    She’s applying a “rape culture” argument here. If you advise college girls to moderate their drinking, or walk in pairs at night, then you’re “putting the blame and pressure” on the potential victims. This makes you a Bad Person. It’s a typical line of thought among the social justice warrior class.

  29. avatar Jay in Florida says:

    What a douche.

  30. avatar London says:

    This is what happens when dimwits are taught how to write in respectable English. People like this should be studied like gorillas and chimps who are taught sign language.

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      I don’t find her English very respectable, myself.

  31. avatar Illinois_Minion says:

    “…through the hero-like advice of a large talking bird. ”

    Who would she prefer instead? Sponge-Bob? Hello Kitty? The little mermaid? Barbie?? Ken?? GI Joe??

  32. avatar RLC2 says:

    Classic example of the current vogue in Social Justice Warrior tactics: starting with the simple-miinde setup thats part of the pomo “narrative” and triggering victim claiming as deployed by the progressive left, and radical feminists, most recently in shirtgate and gamergate before it. …reading a book destroyed her Gaiea induced bliss from the warm sun on her skin….thus, guns are evil.

    Giving this nitwit any attention is giving her credibility, so I wont link to her linked in profile, and only note the hypocrisy of her concern for children, given her current position as the regjonal activist in chief for Planned Parenthood.

    Young men, (and women)I hope I am not presuming to give advice, but in my long experience, this is exactly the bitter hater you want to avoid in any kind of a relationship. This is the self consuming end state of radical feminism, and you cant fix stupid, when its this pathological. Darwins Law will rule in a generation.

  33. avatar James says:

    Well, if you are gonna lie, lie big. 1,500 children under the age of 18? Well, great use of made up numbers! The FBI Expanded Data Tables give a number of 563. So she is inflating it by 300%. Talk about LIE BIG!

  34. avatar scoutino says:

    Okay, we get it – NRA is eeevil and anything they have to say is bad.
    Guns are evil too, we must not talk about them. Must not draw them. Not even think about them!

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