“Here’s The Fourway Mexican Standoff With Invisible Guns Pro Wrestling Has Always Needed”

Mexican standoff (courtesy youtube.com)

Back in the day, sitting in the control room of Superstation WTBS, I saw Haystacks Calhoun aim a revolver (tiny in his meaty paw) at a wrestling promoter’s chest. Haystacks was owed money. I guess. Anyway, the promoter was nonplussed. “Go ahead and pull the trigger you fat f*ck,” he dared. Evel Knievel be damned; that was the greatest display of testicular fortitude this fifty-five-year-old writer ever saw. Until now! Check out that image of a four-way a.k.a., Mexican standoff. That’s nuts! Make the jump for the live action YouTube version. And a description of the Greatest Moment in Wrestling History by the guy who wrote the once-in-a-lifetime headline above, uproxx.com‘s Brrrrrrandon Strouuuuuuud . . .

Here’s what you need to know: Bill Car (the guy in the suspenders) and Dan Barry (the guy in the taco shirt) are Team TREMENDOUS Inc., and easily the best tag team in pro wrestling who are also detectives. Colt Cabana is occasionally a police officer with a speciality in targeting and harassing juggalos. Supercop Dick Justice is a SUPER COP named DICK JUSTICE. They all ran into each other at Beyond Wrestling’s Uncomfortable event, and things got dangerous. Super dangeous. [sic]

comments

  1. avatar Hobbez says:

    Every time I think that I have seen the epitome of stupid, someone surprises me….

    1. avatar Taylor TX says:

      Just think if we didnt have the internet! I think my stupid shit ratio would go WAY down, and mostly be reserved for people driving.

  2. avatar Geoff PR says:

    Wrassl’n is real…

    (cough)

    1. avatar Avid Reader says:

      A college friend’s family owned a motel just outside of a middling sized city in the south. It was popular with the pro wrestlers-clean, quiet, and inexpensive. All the wrestlers would share rooms, and occasionally a room would get trashed-not from partying, but because the guys would practice their moves and get carried away throwing each other around. It was hard on the furniture.

  3. avatar Accur81 says:

    How does someone make an intelligent comment about something as asinine as “professional” wrestling?

  4. avatar mk10108 says:

    Standoff with fingers….slow TTAG news day?

  5. avatar Kim Burr says:

    Well I recon that had to be the one and only, the legendary Gordon Solie http://www.gordonsolie.com/ . That man had seriously Big Brass Ones. Didn’t bother with the standoff video on account of I’ve probably seen similar stuff ‘way back in the day’ in South Fla.

  6. avatar Vhyrus says:

    …. I am suing TTAG for criminal destruction of brain cells. Hopefully I still work my cell phone after watching that clip.

  7. avatar Stinkeye says:

    For the record, those aren’t invisible guns. They’re finger guns. Completely different pretend thing.

    1. avatar Avid Reader says:

      Hey, it’s enough to get you suspended from lots of public schools!

  8. avatar blahpony says:

    It’s not the fourway mexican standoff with invisible guns pro wrestling has always needed, it’s the fourway mexican standoff with invisible guns pro wrestling deserves.

    /Batman

  9. avatar Bungameng says:

    Wrestling is one of those parts of American culture I will never understand. Not that I would even give it a try.

  10. avatar Brum says:

    TTAG just lowered its standards another notch… again. This article is almost as bad as the one about the abused porn star.

    1. avatar James R says:

      Hey now, I like a little silly variety from time to time

  11. avatar Sock Monkey says:

    Nonplussed – it does not mean what you think it means.

  12. avatar Smurfico says:

    Weird, there are a lot more “wrestling is dumb” comments than I expected. I have found most cultural snobbery tends to be directed at gun owners, not originating from them.

    Anyhow, nice to see Colt Cabana getting some random publicity, the guys hilarious and seems like a nice guy.

  13. avatar Sock Monkey says:

    Cultural snobbery – it does not mean what you think it means.

    1. avatar Smurfico says:

      Pedant, it means exactly what I think it does.

  14. avatar Sock Monkey says:

    Pedant; it does not mean what you think it means.

    It ain’t pedantry to point out that people use the word “nonplussed” to mean the total opposite of its actual meaning.

    It ain’t pedantry to point out that hating on something as low-brow and moronic as professional wrestling isn’t snobbery – it’s just Not Being Completely Clueless. It’s like watching van Damme films, and then getting mad when anyone points out that they are third-tier schlock, and not art-house cinema. Nothing wrong with watching stuff like that. Just admit what it is.

    1. avatar Smurfico says:

      Really? “a person who annoys other people by correcting small errors and giving too much attention to minor details”

      It is one thing to be dismissive of something you don’t enjoy, but when you refer to something as low-brow and moronic you are passing judgement on those that do enjoy it, that is snobbery. When you think that your opinion on an entirely subjective matter is fact, that is snobbery, and a dick move.

      I just find it appallingly arrogant to be so condescending to people who like different stuff than they do. It’s like looking at someone’s dinner and thinking “They’re stupid because that’s not what I eat,”.

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