Common Firearms Terms: California vs. Texas

(courtesy zazzle.com)

TTAG reader MN sent us an email that’s making the rounds. Feel free to add your own California-to-Texas gun terms translations in the comments below.

CALIFORNIA…………………………………TEXAS

Arsenal of Weapons……………………… Gun Collection

Heavily Armed……………………………… Well-protected

Commonsense Gun Control…………… Gun Confiscation Plot

Sniper Rifle…………………………………… Scoped Deer Rifle

High Capacity Magazine………………… Standard Capacity Magazine

The Gun Lobby………………………………. NRA Members

Assault Weapon……………………………… Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine)

comments

  1. avatar General Zod says:

    Stockpile Of Ammunition………………………………….Enough To Get Through A Trip To The Range

    1. avatar Clark45 says:

      Stockpiling! Hahahahahaaaa.

      Relevant video: http://youtu.be/4NyCx2N4T8U

      1. avatar Rick Testa says:

        Love it!

  2. avatar ReadMore says:

    Gunfire killed…. the killer shot

    1. avatar Cyrano says:

      Highpowered Rifle……………………Rifle

  3. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Shoulder thing that goes up………Huh?

    1. avatar John Thomas says:

      outstanding

    2. avatar Michael Radenehimer says:

      YOU! win the internet!! Well done!!!

  4. avatar Tommy Knocker says:

    CALIFORNIA TEXAS

    Strap on ——- Open carry

    Wearing protection —– Ceramic body plates

    1. avatar John L. says:

      California. Most other places
      Strap on. Dang it there are children present! Put that away!

    2. avatar Rusty Shackleford says:

      Strap-on? Like the one DiFi wears in the Conrad the Constitution videos?

      1. avatar Chris from IA says:

        Thanks, just spilled coffee all over my desk.

  5. avatar John Thomas says:

    Gun Nut……………………………..citizen of a free republic

  6. avatar George says:

    California — Ammunition cache
    Texas — Down to 2,000 rounds — must go shopping

  7. avatar ThomasR says:

    The gun just went off!——— Some D–n fool pulled the trigger!

    1. avatar John Thomas says:

      i really like this one, too

    2. avatar Mike Crognale says:

      and we have a winner!

  8. avatar Daniel Silverman says:

    Oh sure RF, make me feel bad! lol

    1. avatar BillF says:

      California: 2a fanatic, uncompromising rabble-rousing gun nut, unfit to live among reasonable Californians

      Texas: Silverman

  9. avatar TNmike says:

    Semiautomatic hand gun………Hand gun (non-pirate type)

  10. avatar Eric says:

    civilized society………………………………….disarmed society
    thing that goes up………………………………….barrel shroud
    full auto………………………………….semi auto
    believes that 90% of Americans support more gun control laws disguised as “universal background checks”………………………………….knows better

    1. avatar BR549 says:

      My two votes go to you (Eric) for this classic bit of wisdom:
      California: “Believes that 90% of Americans support more gun control laws disguised as “universal background checks”…………………………………. vs Texas: “knows better”

      and to SleeStac for his equally brilliant observation:
      California: “Politician” ……………………………….. vs Texas: “douchebag”

    2. avatar Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:

      Clip………………….Magazine

      1. avatar KCK says:

        California…………………………………Texas
        30 clip magazine……………………..In development

  11. avatar NotoriousAPP says:

    6 people killed by active shooter with assault weapon — 2 killed by stabbing, 1 by car, 3 by shooting

  12. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    How have you and your family been?
    How’s your mama and ‘dem?

    It’s down the road a little bit.
    It’s down yonder a ways.

    Iced Tea with sugar.
    Sweet tea.

    You guys.
    Y’all.

    You think?
    You reckon?

    What is …. (as in ‘what is it that we need to do?’)
    What all… (as in ‘what all do we need to do?’)

    I’m about to.
    I’m fixing to.

    I can do this all day.

    1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

      I know it’s not guns stuff, but it’s still fun.

      1. avatar John Thomas says:

        agreed

    2. avatar JoshtheViking says:

      As a lifelong southern boy, this is very accurate.

      1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

        I can keep going…

        That guy.
        Ol’ boy.

        Dinner.
        Supper.

        It is not.
        No it ain’t.

        Completely.
        Plumb.

        Screamed.
        Hollard.

        1. avatar TheBear says:

          I live in Texas.

          Most people I know in Texas don’t talk like uneducated morons. Sorry.

        2. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

          Native Texan here, born and raised.

          It’s a joke, lighten up

        3. avatar TheBear says:

          My bad 🙂

    3. avatar WRH says:

      Don’t forget to hitch up your pants when you say “I’m fixin’ to…”

      1. avatar Ing says:

        r-u-n-n o-f-t!

      2. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

        Pants.
        Breeches.

  13. avatar Hannibal says:

    “Ghost gun”………. what?

    “Ceramic Glock 7″……. Ho, ho, ho?

  14. avatar SleeStac says:

    CALIFORNIA…………………………………TEXAS
    Politician…………………………………………….douchebag

  15. avatar Big ol' Dave says:

    California —- Texas
    911 ——— Colt 1911

    1. avatar Mike Crognale says:

      Tied for the win!

  16. avatar Phil says:

    Unemployed………….Employed
    State Income Tax……. My money
    Armed…………Citizen
    Deficit………..Surplus

    1. avatar General Zod says:

      Nice!

  17. avatar SH says:

    Texas ————— California
    Arms Trafficker — Senator

    1. avatar JasonM says:

      Damn!

      I was going to add:
      Safety Champion……………………Gun Smuggler

  18. avatar Jus Bill says:

    Assault type rifle ……………….. gun
    Simulated replica weapon …… bb gun
    Open carry ……………… Out for a walk
    Gunfire ……………………………. plinking

  19. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    I’ll do some gun ones now…

    Mag limits.
    I can only fit 10 Pmags in this range bag.

    Bullet button.
    What the hell is wrong with your rifle?

    Mirco stamping.
    Are those like little postage stamps…?

    Lead free bullets.
    Y’all get free ammo?!?!

    1. avatar Ing says:

      Microstamping ………. Tiny little postage stamps

      I love that one.

  20. avatar Jeffy says:

    Can’t go into that bar with your gun buddy…………Can’t go into that bar with your gun pardner.

  21. avatar Frank Masotti says:

    That’s about the truth of it.

  22. avatar S.CROCK says:

    felon….. law abiding gun owner with a 12 round mag.

    felon….. someone who passed a background check and WALKED OUT SAME DAY with the gun.

    felon…. law abiding gun owner without a registered gun.

    felon…. concealed carrier.

    felon….. someone who has a lot of cosmetic features on their msr.

  23. avatar Unknown Prosecutor says:

    California ——————————————————– Texas
    Arrested for carrying a gun in my car ————- Tuesday

  24. avatar LKB says:

    It’s been posted before, but how can you do a Cali v. RoT comparision without this. (It originally came out a few years ago after Gov. Perry ended a coyote with his Ruger LCP during a jog. I’ve added a couple of embellishments.)

    CALIFORNIA: The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.

    1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural.

    2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

    3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 for testing it for diseases.

    4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

    5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.

    6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds to implement a “coyote awareness” program for residents of the area.

    7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

    8. The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.

    9. Security agent’s union demands arbitration; union-affiliated arbitration panel grants agent lifetime disability and immediate full pension. Security agent then gets another state job.

    10. Additional cost to State of California: $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

    11. PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files suit against the State. Legislative committee immediately convened to discuss terms of surrender.

    TEXAS: The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and advances rapidly toward the Governor and his dog.

    1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his legally-carried Ruger LCP. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .380 hollow point round. The taxpayers pay nothing.

    2. Governor and dog continue jogging. Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

    And people wonder why the California economy sucks while the Texas economy booms . . . .

    1. avatar JasonM says:

      I like this one best.

    2. avatar Geoff says:

      The WINNER!

    3. avatar BillF says:

      Chicken dinner for LKB.

    4. avatar rt-texas says:

      LKB +1000

  25. avatar bambi schmidt says:

    I believe in caring arms you can have guns in your home our forefathers fought for that

  26. avatar Amok! says:

    TX Commonsense Gun Control: At the range: Getting off the X, presenting concealed weapon and burst firing 5 of 5 rounds into the target while moving off line…..

  27. avatar T says:

    California
    Enhanced Shooting Aid

    Texas
    New stock for my rifle or shotgun

  28. avatar Defens says:

    State Assemblyman ….. Gun Runner w/ Mob Connections
    US Senator ……………… Scum sucking vermin

  29. avatar 27 Words says:

    Privileges granted by the State…………………………………….Rights.

  30. avatar 27 Words says:

    Common sense regulation………………………………..Infringement.

  31. avatar Jon R. says:

    Domestic Terrorists………………………………..Law abiding gun owners

  32. avatar ChiGurh says:

    Guns are killing our children – Crazy people with mental issue and evil people are killing our children

  33. avatar Geoff says:

    2200 rounds 9mm. 1200 rounds .223. 9mm pistol with “high capacity” 17 round magazines (4), AR-15 with “high capacity” 30 round magazines (4) and a “super-high capacity” 60 round magazine, .22 single shot rifle and 100 rounds .22LR, .177 pellet rifle and 50 pellets, 1942 Mosin Nagant and 20 rounds 7.62X54R. OH! Soon to have “silencer”. (Kommifornia = “assassin”)
    Kommifornia = Arsenal. Warmonger. Psycho gun-nut.
    Texas = ammo and gun poor.
    BTW. What I own.

  34. avatar John in Ohio says:

    Liberty …………. Tyranny

  35. avatar outwardhound says:

    California: Feinstein . . . . Texas: CRUZ!

  36. avatar Ratbikerx says:

    California >>> Mental and physical abuse
    Texas >>>> Gun Range

  37. avatar KCK says:

    7 round Magazine……………….My mag spring is broken or needs some oil
    AWB
    Assualt Weapon Ban…………..Ass Whoopnn’ Barbeque
    10
    Interstate freeway……………….mm
    410
    Ain’t got any…………………………………..shot gun or San Antonio Ring Road

  38. avatar The Brotherhood of Steel says:

    If California actually tried to mess with Texas

    ………………………………………………..

    California Obliterated worse than the Bronco’s in the the SuperBowl.

    1. avatar Juliesa says:

      Worse than the Heat at the hands of the Spurs.

      1. avatar The Brotherhood of Steel says:

        Good one!

  39. avatar Ihatelivingincalifornia says:

    You guys…. it’s pronounced Commiefornia.
    ppffff. You’d think that would have caught on by now.

    Silencer…………………Suppressor

    1. avatar SteveInCO says:

      Nah, I still like “PRK” too much.

    2. avatar UpChuck.Liberals says:

      We more devolved now…it’s Kommieforina. Political Douche bag = Kevin DeLeon.

  40. avatar Joe R. says:

    One of the reasons why we “keep” firearms ……………………………….. Where we “keep” ’em

  41. avatar Joe R. says:

    “C A L I F O R N I A – Nearly fully disarmed for the next Civil War” [c’mon you can do it]

    1. avatar UpChuck.Liberals says:

      It’s going to be fun for that DypShyt Kevin DeLeon to get the nearly 3,000,000 firearms sold in Kommieforina since 2008 out of the hands of citizens. We’re not even talking about all the AR’s that have been built up.

  42. avatar waif says:

    California: May issue
    Texas: Won’t issue

    1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

      You got it all wrong..,

      Cal: Elite issue.
      Tex: Shall issue.

  43. avatar BigDinVT says:

    Ooh I have one…

    Scary place to live…….. (open) Carry place to live.

  44. avatar Phil says:

    Feinstein…..Cruz
    Gov what’s his name….Gov Rick Perry
    T-A-X-E-S……T-E-X-A-S

  45. avatar DNS Guns says:

    California= murdered disenfranchised youth

    Texas= dead criminal

    1. avatar Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:

      Don’t you mean ‘Murdered sweet innocent aspiring rapper child’?

  46. avatar AW1Ed says:

    Cali Tex
    High powered rifle Ruger 10/22

  47. avatar Josh says:

    California: Silencer. Texas: Actually a Muzzlebreak

  48. avatar dh34 says:

    Road Sign: CA =Direction or info TX =Metal Target
    Budweiser can: CA=recycling TX=Red wing dove (target)
    Fruit: CA=food/politician TX=exploding target
    MDA: CA=anti-gun hate group TX=get a baby sitter

  49. avatar ToddR says:

    Special Agent Utah………Chuck Norris, (Walker Texas Ranger).

  50. avatar dh34 says:

    Car:

    TX= 3/4 ton, diesel crew cab 4×4
    CA=Prius

  51. avatar dh34 says:

    This reminds me of an old military joke….

    When told to secure a building, the Navy will turn off the coffee pot, lights and lock the door on the way out.

    The Army will surround it with troops, and armor if available, and await further orders.

    The Marines will send in a reinforced squad, kick in the doors, clear it room by room, place C4, exfil and demo it.

    The Air Force will use emergency procurement authorization for a 180 day lease with an option to extend for a year.

  52. avatar JOE MATAFOME says:

    Texas would destroy those silly little sheep in COMMIEFORNIA. The only mess that COMMIEFORNIA would have to deal with, is the mess in their panties after Texas kicks their dumb asses back to the stone age.

    1. avatar Nick says:

      We’d still have to watch out for Austin. Dang Hippies, they are already in Texas.

  53. avatar Tirod says:

    California —————————————Texas
    Gun Violence Prevention Order ————Waco

    It’s not always a joke, guys.

  54. avatar Haiku Guy says:

    California: Way too much ammo.

    Texas: Not nearly enough ammo.

  55. avatar Jeff says:

    Naturally growing plant in your backyard … Prison sentence

    1. avatar S.CROCK says:

      I don’t know what sate your saying would do what but both states would send militarized police to serve a no knock raid all over a plant.

      1. avatar Jeff says:

        Point ceded.

  56. avatar Pencotron says:

    California – Ghost Gun

    Texas – ?!?!?!

  57. avatar MadMarx says:

    Simulated replica weapon …… Banana
    Simulated replica weapon …… Half eaten rectangular breakfast pastry
    Simulated replica weapon …… Finger & Thumb
    Simulated replica weapon …… 2 inch tall plastic army solder
    Simulated replica weapon …… doodle on scrap paper with pencil
    Simulated replica weapon …… stick

  58. avatar Proverbs says:

    California………………………………………………………..Texas
    Weapon of Mass Destruction…………………………….Kel-Tec PMR-30
    Death………………………………………………………………Life

  59. avatar Jeff says:

    Gun Free Zone……….Out of State
    Armed and suspicious……….Clothed
    Violent Posturing……….Kids playing

  60. avatar Dona says:

    California…rebel Texas……gun owner

  61. avatar Great Scot says:

    California: Texas:
    Politician……………………………………………………Asshole
    Mass-murdering baby killer………………………….Concealed Carrier
    Eek!………………………………………………………….Howdy
    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL!……………..Gun
    Full-auto……………………………………………………Semi-auto
    Assault rifle……………………………………………….AR-15
    Myth…………………………………………………………DGU
    God………………………………………………………….Michael-frickin’-Bloomberg
    Clip…………………………………………………………..Magazine
    Bullet button………………………………………………Inconvenience
    Mag-cap ban……………………………………………..Futility
    High-capacity magazine………………………………Standard capacity magazine
    Adam Lanza………………………………………………Gun owners
    Mass-murdering-baby-killing-evil-bastards…….NRA
    Sniper rifle…………………………………………………Pop’s deer rifle
    Truth…………………………………………………………Inconvenience

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