Potentially deadly PB&J (courtesy glad.com)

“The Attorney General says a nursing home resident in Magee has been arrested for second degree murder involving the death of his roommate,” fox19.com reports. “63-year-old Jerrell Eubanks, a resident of the Hillcrest Nursing Center in Magee, was arrested Wednesday evening by investigators with the Attorney General’s Medicaid Fraud Control Unit, with assistance from the Magee Police Department. He has a bond of $100K. Eubanks is charged with second degree murder for the death of his roommate at the nursing home. He is accused of pushing a cellophane bag containing a sandwich down the throat of the 83 year old victim, causing his death.” [h/t JME]

32 Responses to Ban Sandwiches!

  1. I’m not going to agree with banning those type sandwiches! PB and Jelly was our lunch sandwich forever when we came to America in the 50’s.

    RF: I will take you to court to prevent this banning.

    I suppose you go the idea from MDA!

  2. I think that you’re leaping to conclusions, here. It might’ve been the peanut butter IN the sandwich, or the strawberry jam, or the deadly combination of PB AND J, or the bread being a bit dry, or maybe the evil cellophane bag. To wildly condemn the sandwich as a whole, without forensic testing and proof is grossly unfair.

    Should it arise that the cellophane bag was indeed the culprit, we should all remember that the 2nd Amendment was never intended to cover cellophane, a modern invention unforeseen by our Founding Fathers, but instead was meant to apply to waxed-paper wrappers. I don’t believe that any rational sandwich-maker would object to sane sandwich laws that included the outlawing of cellophane or other clear plastic wrap of any kind, when waxed paper is so much safer.

    It’s for the children. And old people.

    • You’ve never seen an 83-yo in a nursing home, have you?

      I wonder if the sandwich halves were shaped like a gun?

  3. I wonder if this will make any of the “mainstream” national newscasts. If the guy had shot his roomie it almost certainly would have: “See, guns enable–nay, empower– even the physically disabled to turn an ordinary dispute into a murder.” But since no gun was involved–well, heck, the room-temperature victim may not even count as “dead” with the newsies.

  4. Look at Bill McClellan’s column in today’s St. Louis Post Dispatch: Assault With A Deadly Pork Sandwich. Homeless woman cuts up homeless man with box cutter. Woman says she just hit him with a pork steak sandwich. “It must have been the bone”, she say’s

    • Directly? Nothing. They’re employing absurdity (ban sandwiches!) to illustrate absurdity (ban guns, ban Internet ammo sales, ban magazines of an arbitrary capacity, etc!)

      Sandwiches, not unlike self-defense firearms, are useful, enjoyable and and a routine part of millions upon millions of people’s daily lives. Including….gasp!…..minors!

      That a stray pyscho here and there occasionally uses a sandwich to murder someone, is no justification for denying many millions of other peaceful people their food, or firearms, freedoms.

  5. Peanut butter is really sticky and clogs the air ways. It was the cause of death, no doubt. Mere civilians should not be allowed peanut butter as only certified chefs can handle something so deadly.

    • Peanut butter is a cop killer condiment. If we allow citizens to own it the rate of cop murders will surely rise!

  6. nursing home sandwiches are dangerous and should be banned!

    But i want to know why the medicaid fraud unit would be making the arrest, seems like homicide is local pd jurisdiction?

    seems like killing a recipient would be saving tax dollars?
    hmmmm

  7. Look, I have been around sandwiches my entire life – heck, I’ve even eaten a few myself – and I have never once seen a sandwich jump up and ram itself down the throat of an octogenarian on its own. Sandwiches are not animate objects and are not innately dangerous if consumed responsibly. People have an fundamental, natural, and innate right to eat and bear sandwiches.

  8. So, the police arrested a nursing home patient and put him in federal prison? Sounds like the plan was to kill his roommate to get better accommodations.

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