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57 Responses to Weekend Photo Caption Contest – Independence Day Edition

  1. “Dammit George I wish we had AR-15s then these damn redcoats wouldn’t stand a chance…”

    Pv1 Carl

  2. I love this pic. The actual patriots who fought in that war were probably very similar in appearance, assembly, and discipline.

  3. I heard that the Second Amendment only covers muskets. So here’s the new Secret Service close protection detail.

  4. “Did your parents have any children that lived?!…..Well they must be grotesque! You’re so ugly you could be a modern art masterpiece!”

  5. “You are stupid Private Pyle, but do you expect me to believe you don’t know right from left?!”…….”Then you did that on purpose! You want to be different!” (SMACK!) “What side was that Private Pyle?!”

  6. “Do you think I’m cute Private Pyle? Do you think I’m funny?…..Then wipe that disgusting looking grin off your face!……..WELL ANY F#€<ING TIME SWEETHEART!!!"

  7. “Do you think I’m cute Private Pyle? Do you think I’m funny?……Then wipe that disgusting looking grin off your face!………..WELL ANY F___ING TIME SWEETHEART!!”

  8. “Tonight you pukes will sleep with your muskets. You will give your musket a girl’s name, because this is the only p___y you people are going to get!”

  9. I wear your Granddad’s clothes
    I look incredible
    I’m in this big ass coat
    From that thrift shop down the road

    • Bout to go and get some moccasins that someone else has been rocking in……. oh wait, maybe that line is inappropriate when referring to this time period.

  10. Long ago there were men, just like this, that paid for your freedom.

    Someday, you may have to join them in paying for the freedom of someone you’ll never meet. Pray you never have to.

  11. When Presidential candidate Pat Paulsen said he loves this country, that he had been there during the Revolutionary War, he was dead serious. Here is the proof.

    (second from the right)

  12. “Enough turning over in our graves, we’re back to show you pansies how it’s done. Someone has to do it!”

  13. We won’t need ammo for this skirmish. While the Brits are rolling on the ground, laughing at our hats, we’ll kill them with our bayonets.

  14. A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Now you know why the well regulated clause was necessary.

    • I don’t get it….the people at large are not a well-regulated militia, but are able to arm themselves to oppose the one created in the constitution.

  15. Roll call: NY -“Present”. NJ – Present”. CT -“Present”. MA – “Present”. MD (out of frame) “Wait up guys!”.

  16. Kind of like “Yankee Doodle” . . .err “The Spirit of ’76”.

    There were 10 (known) Commissions of the painted work “Yankee Doodle,” by A.M. Willard [Archibald MacNeal Willard (August 22, 1836–October 11, 1918)], ranging anywhere in size from 8’ x 13’ to 35” x 47”.

    http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=A.+M.+Willard%2c+Spirit+of+76&qpvt=A.+M.+Willard%2c+Spirit+of+76&FORM=IGRE

    “Yankee Doodle” was painted by Willard, a Union Army veteran of the U.S. Civil War, for celebrations related to the U.S. Centennial.

    After the Centennial, the original painting was exhibited in Boston, where it hung in the Old South Church Meetinghouse. Worried that Bostonians might confuse its original title with the sobriquet used by a local half-wit cobbler who continuously whistled “Yankee Doodle” while he worked, the head of the exhibit suggested changing the name of the painting to The Spirit of ‘76. From then on, Willard’s painting was known by that name (http://www.cowanauctions.com/view_unsold_item.asp?ItemId=48030).

    Most depictions of this painting are from the feet, or knees, of the three marching figures, and-up, but all of Willard’s versions have a central figure lying on a destroyed cannon in battle debris at the marcher’s feet.

    Lying supine, or (in later paintings to presumably lessen the severity of the image) laying raised on left-elbow, is the figure of an expiring soldier, waving his cap to rally the marchers as they are treading over dead and dying leading further troops into further battle, NOT in reverence to the flag with thirteen stars on it, which the figure, from its position could not presumably see, and not in salute to victorious soldiers returning home. Some versions of the painting depict possibly hundreds of smoke-obscured troops in ranks behind the honor guard and Colors, moving towards the battle. In others, the resolute trio of fife and drums appear to proceed before a rag-tag group of very few.

    In one early version of the painting, the strangely-gaited foot position of the marcher’s is partially explained by their depiction in lock-step march up a relatively steep incline, that, upon further review, proves to be present in all of the paintings, it is just that the trio has ‘crested’ the hill in most other versions.

    In all versions, the two ‘older’ gentlemen look forward towards their goal, in the direction of their marching. The youngest, at their far right, is either depicted as looking towards the central figure (whom Willard had openly professed to have modeled after his own father), or looks back, obliquely, at the following troops and the flag.

    While the 13 Star Flag [“We take the stars from Heaven, the red from out mother country, separating it by white stripes, thus showing that we have separated from her, and the white stripes shall go down to posterity representing liberty.” George Washington (http://homeofheroes.com/hallofheroes/1st_floor/flag/1bfa_hist2.html)] is always depicted flowing to the painting’s background (to aid in showing the progress of the marchers to the foreground) it is not always obscured by the smoke of battle NOR is it always attached (at the bottom) to its guide-on (thus depicting a fragile jeopardy).
    100 + years after the events it was to have romantically depicted, the painting was a tremendous success. “In a promotional column written in the March 29th, 1876 edition of the Cleveland Leader, Ryder issued the following patriotic drumbeat:

    “Were the Centennial Exposition to be entirely unsupplied with music, the lack would be filled by placing Willard’s Yankee Doodle where it could meet the glance of every American visitor, for but a glance at it is needed to set all the fires of patriotism burning in one’s veins, and to compel his footsteps to keep time to the music which he feels if he does not hear, for every line in the picture equals a drum tap, and every color thrills like the shrill martial note of the fife.”(Gordon, 1976: 13)” (http://www.cowanauctions.com/view_unsold_item.asp?ItemId=48030).

    200 + years after the events it was to have romantically depicted . . .

  17. Hey guys, I don’t know what you’re wearing, but these new nylon pantyhose feel really great under these breeches.

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