Question of the Day: In Whose Direction Would You Point This Gun?

You don’t have to know much about history to be aware of the centuries-old enmity that exists between the U.K. and their neighbors across the channel. Which explains why even now, in the 21st century after all the wars and insults, proud Brit Colin Furze felt compelled to construct something designed to hurl more than just epithets in the general direction of the French. He used a pulse jet-powered fart gun (held in place by a set of appropriately pasty giant buttocks) to hurl flaming flatulence at England’s froggy neighbors. And that got us thinking. If you read yesterday’s post listing some of the more noxious gun-grabbers who roam the land of the free and the home of the brave, you’re aware there’s no shortage of fart-worthy eminences on this side of the pond. If you had your own flaming fart gun (and had paid the required $200 tax stamp, of course) in whose direction would you fire it?

comments

      1. avatar BonesMcCoy says:

        Don’t worry, Dan. I’d jump in front of that gun, and take the shot for you 🙂

        *slaps Dark in face*

  1. avatar pwrserge says:

    Does it even require a tax stamp? Technically, it does not fire a “projectile”…

    1. avatar Brian in WI says:

      Well sometimes you think it’s just a fart…

    2. avatar Layne says:

      Nope, flamethrowers are completely unregulated in the US, although you could probably get into trouble pretty easily if you used one improperly.

  2. avatar KingSarc48265 says:

    I thought that it was the French that farted in the general direction of the British. This was typically before they launched cows at them.

    1. avatar Vhyrus says:

      In typical British fashion, it only took them 40 years to return fire.

  3. avatar LongBeach says:

    I’d be in a holding pattern around Feinstein’s witch-lair.

    1. avatar GWHNick says:

      I will join you and flank the rear.

      1. avatar Gunr says:

        How about we set up several hundred of these things all around her place, and when she comes out of her lair, fire them all at once!

      2. avatar angryAZ says:

        I am going no where near Sweinsteins Rear…….

        1. avatar Gunr says:

          Coward!

        2. avatar MacBeth51 says:

          +1

    2. avatar dh34 says:

      This is a Weapon of @ss Destruction…. Feinstein is an @ss of Weapon Destruction.

  4. avatar Renegade Dave says:

    Questing kings or errant Knights inquiring about a grail. In that case, I would fire it in their general direction.

  5. avatar rob says:

    Seems like a lot of work when I can manage something similar with chili cabbage and some beer.

  6. avatar LarryinTX says:

    I’m not recalling fart guns in the NFA.

  7. avatar Ralph says:

    Catchy tune. Is Michael Moore French? ‘Cause his wife is farting at him right now. After the divorce case is finished, the poor b@stard might be down to his last five houses.

  8. avatar Jim R says:

    I’m kind of a jackass, so my answer to “where would I aim it” is probably…yes.

  9. avatar Gene says:

    Obligitory.



    Monty Python’s “I fart in your general direction”.

  10. avatar NYC2AZ says:

    Is this TTAG or a Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire movie advertisement?

  11. avatar Mediocrates says:

    Rachel Mad-cow, because, you know, cows are responsible for most of the obnoxious gases on the planet.

    1. avatar Michael B. says:

      Rachel Mad-”cow”? How dare you say something so misogynistic!

      [ Insert four paragraph bossy rant here. ]

  12. avatar Wes S. says:

    Call me misanthropic…but in my current mood, I’m wanting something with a full 360° of coverage. These days, America is a target-rich environment…

  13. avatar the ruester says:

    I don’t know about farts, but it would be nice if we could set some butts on fire in November.

  14. avatar GReg says:

    Well, I’ll be the first…Obama.

  15. avatar PeterK says:

    Pulse jets seems fun. This is a good use of one, haha.

  16. avatar Renegade Dave says:

    Wow. Lots of Monty Python fans.

  17. avatar Great Scot says:

    The general direction of the English… Let’s face it, Wales is the only neighbour of England that does not bear significant ill-will towards them 😉
    Probably Dianne Feinstein, as she becomes a pain in the proverbial explosive arse when she bangs on about how guns are ‘evil’.

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      Maybe we will get lucky, and she will get infected with Ebola.

      1. avatar Jus Bill says:

        She will infect Ebola, more likely.

  18. avatar juliesa says:

    Mr. Bloomberg. My husband and the larger of my two dogs could each outdo that giant gizmo, awesome as it is.

  19. avatar Bob Wall says:

    And, he could carry it in this – the Fart Car…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUKolh8Q9hA

  20. avatar Geoff PR says:

    There’s no tax stamp necessary for a pulse-jet!

    Yet.

    (Sigh)

  21. avatar Raul Ybarra says:

    ah, the French would merely taunt them a second time. Now if they had a gunn that could launch shrubberies at them, give me a call.

  22. avatar Paul B says:

    Washington….Make up for some of the shxxt they are shoveling our way.

  23. avatar Kevin L says:

    I was going to join the Feinstein train but f*ck Bloomberg. HIM, WITHOUT A DOUBT.

  24. avatar CA.Ben says:

    ATF. The entire ATF.

  25. avatar Eric says:

    I’d aim it straight at Washington D.C.

  26. avatar John L. says:

    “No … I said *dart* gu… Oh, never mind.”

    – Gru, Despicable Me

  27. avatar dh34 says:

    Alderaan.

  28. avatar Southern Cross says:

    My targets are Shannon Watts and her lord and master Citizen Bloomberg.

  29. avatar DavyJones says:

    Oh my Gherd! Hez driving on te wrong side of the road! Haha;)

  30. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    Little hitler,,,er Bloomie. Is he still hanging out inviting Hamas to rocket his a$$?

    1. avatar Javier says:

      Hope springs eternal!

  31. avatar Gregolas says:

    Not at the French. With their hygiene, how would they notice?

  32. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    News flash!!!!
    The French just surrendered to Great Britain.
    Again

    1. avatar dh34 says:

      From “A Bridge Too Far”

      “We haven’t got the facilities to take you all prisoner. Sorry!”

  33. avatar Tim in WA says:

    I would drink a high capacity soda with a burrito and then shoot it at Bloomberg.

  34. avatar Excedrine says:

    Washington, D.C., the seat of all current societal ills in the United States since 1871.

  35. avatar Phil says:

    G20 summit, IRS, Federal Reserve, IMF, Washington, D.C., Hollywood, Wall Street and Middle East (pretty most of places source of current evilness)… and of course back to the UK, Ha!

  36. avatar Javier says:

    I was wondering if this is what people mean when they say someone is a flaming a$$whole?

  37. avatar Full Cleveland says:

    I think we can make some dough with this thing at the next “Burning Man” gathering.

  38. avatar Duzt says:

    Upstate says right @ Cuomo, followed shortly thereafter with the only thing capable of bringing down the Rabbit of Caerbannog. the Holy hand grenade of antioch!

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