Personal Defense Tip: Don’t Shoot Blanks

Sadie Bell courtesy detroit.cbslocal.com

Sadie Bell isn’t really someone you want to disappoint. The 58-year-old from Southfield, Michigan was just convicted of assault with intent to do great bodily harm for shooting her long-time lover over a case of insufficient semen production. That’s right, Bell plugged Edward Lee in January after he failed to elicit what she considered to be a respectable quantity of ejaculate after a spirited session of sex. Bell took his paltry production as evidence that Lee had been fooling around on her, so she perforated his pancreas and colon with a round of hot lead reproval . . .

As detroit.cbslocal.com reports,

“She stated that she knew he was having an affair because he wasn’t producing enough ejaculate,” (Chief Assistant Prosecutor Paul) Walton explained. “She also said to the police some very graphic things about how she expected him to perform, she was a cheap date, she liked sex, she expected him to be able to do what he’s promised; and she said, in essence, to quote her, she was pissed off, so she shot him.”

Sadie’s planning to appeal her conviction, though, and Oakland County Circuit Judge Phyllis McMillen has set bail at $10,000. But given her history, prosecutors think putting her back on the street would be a big mistake. See, Sadie has a history of expressing her displeasure from behind a gun. Back in 1991, she shot her then-husband over God-knows-what indiscretion. That’s why the prosecution is trying to keep her behind bars. 

“She has demonstrated that her past behavior is…to act out in violence, not necessarily with reason,” Walton said. “A normal person would walk away from situation when they felt they were being cheated on or leave — not take out a gun and shoot someone.”

So a word to the wise: if you’re a single gentleman of a certain age and on the make in the greater Detroit area, be sure to keep Sadie’s mug shot burned on your brain. And if you do decide to tempt fate and dance with the devil, stock up on those amino acid supplements, mkay?

[h/t AD]

comments

  1. avatar ropingdown says:

    “She has demonstrated that her past behavior is…to act out in violence, not necessarily with reason,” Walton said.

    Walton’s obviously right. Sadie shot him in the colon and pancreas, but was the jewels that made her angry. No reasoning at all.

  2. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    this is my fear if I ever met Shannon . . . . . my online moniker conveys certain expectations for her evening.

  3. avatar Vhyrus says:

    Also, eat cherries. Even if you don’t produce enough every girl likes the taste of cherries.

    1. avatar TheBear says:

      Pineapple works too.

  4. avatar Greg in Allston says:

    Sadie, Sadie, Sadie… Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      Er- The issue is when they don’t come for you / her…

  5. avatar Model 31 says:

    There is not enough alcohol on this planet…..

    1. avatar C says:

      Whiskydick is nature’s way of putting a limit on just how bad a decision you can make.

      1. avatar Mark N. says:

        (Strong drink) “provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance: therefore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.”

    2. avatar Curtis in IL says:

      Pretty much what I was thinking.

  6. avatar bontai Joe says:

    Damn! Now that is a person with some SERIOUS issues.

  7. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    What?…….
    He shot her, so she shot him.
    He plugged her, so she plugged him.
    Ok, I’ll stop. They get worse

    1. avatar Mark N. says:

      Hell hath no fury like a woman (half) spermed.
      Half a load, half a load, half a load onward, into the Valley of Death rode the sex undered.

  8. avatar Swarf says:

    That linked article on amino acids was certainly… educational. And comprehensive.

  9. avatar Ralph says:

    And I though that my last ex was crazy.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      Ralph – Something tells me you like ’em a bit crazy…

      I’ve been known to like ’em medium – whacko.

    2. avatar Greg in Allston says:

      She was. Sadie is just a cut/shot above. Just about everyone has their sweet spot.

    3. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

      I like the crazies too.

      I wised up and picked a non-crazy this last time…

      So go, so far.

  10. avatar Mack Bolan says:

    Zinc

    That is all.

  11. avatar Broken 3ight says:

    That opening paragraph read like poetry. Very disturbing poetry.

  12. avatar Jay1987 says:

    Wow and she suspected he was cheating??? Well guess if he wasn’t before he dang sure is now.

  13. avatar Piet Padkos says:

    I thought this was an article about not accidentally carrying your EDC loaded with snap caps.

    Imagine my surprise…

  14. avatar former water walker says:

    $10000 ball…er bail for attempted murder? That sucks. Seriously crazy old critter has prior shootings & that’s all? Oh wait it’s Detroit. Probably can’t afford to try her.

  15. avatar Mark Lloyd says:

    I don’t know what everyone else thinks, but she looks like a guy! This is the kind of thing you expect from some messed up tranny. They are a mess in the first place.

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      Yeah, That’s what I thought, Too many women just don’t care about looking feminine anymore. My neighbor lady’s got everything a man would want, mustache, hair on her chest, everything!

  16. avatar Maineuh says:

    Oh, come on…

  17. avatar Full Cleveland says:

    “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet”

    I met a devil woman
    She took my heart away
    She said, I’ve had it comin’ to me
    But I wanted it that way
    I think that any love is good lovin’
    So I took what I could get, mmh
    Oooh, oooh she looked at me with big brown eyes

    And said,
    You ain’t seen nothin’ yet
    B-b-b-baby, you just ain’t seen n-n-nothin’ yet
    Here’s something that you never gonna forget
    B-b-b-baby, you just ain’t seen n-n-nothin’ yet

  18. avatar Al says:

    Sadie likes ’em with lead in the pencil.

    One way or another.

  19. avatar Great Scot says:

    Damn…I thought I had it bad doing horse riding. He got it bad doing her.
    Forgive me for that terrible line. It’s all I could come up with. Apparently it’s more than he could come up with.
    They get worse.

    1. avatar Gene says:

      How do you have it bad by horse riding? Sounds like there’s a story there. lol

  20. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    Maybe he rubbed one out early in the day.

    You know, knock out the cheap one, so he could last longer.

    Though, I’ve date enough bat-shit crazy women to know that wouldn’t have been an acceptable answer, whether it was the truth, or not.

  21. avatar defensor fortisimo says:

    There’s usually the crazy/hot ratio to fall back on at least, here you’re just getting crazy

  22. avatar Gunr says:

    A recent medical condition has left me almost “dripless”. It’s a good thing my wife can’t rack the slide on my S&W Shield.

  23. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    I like a good laugh in the morning, so I re-read this story.
    Thanks TTAG!

  24. avatar Accur81 says:

    Still expect that the “justice” system will do its job properly and keep dangerous people out of jail? Good luck with that. I carry because the justice system is every bit as competent and efficient as the rest of the government.

  25. avatar Gunr says:

    I think the real reason she shot him was that he asked her if she knew why women rubbed their eyes in the morning when they wake up? She said no! Then he said, it’s because they don’t have any balls to scratch! That’s when she shot him.

  26. avatar Gs650g says:

    Thankfully she is past child bearing age.

  27. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    after he failed to elicit what she considered to be a respectable quantity of ejaculate after a spirited session of sex. I can see why. Yuck!

  28. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Y’know, I’d not boink that with a rented dick.

    Crike.

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