In my previous post on the debut of Noir, I compared the eponymous host with Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson. With Noir episode two, I’m changing my comparison. Colion Noir is the new Andy Rooney. For those of you younger than dirt, Andy Rooney was a commentator for CBS’ 60 Minutes. His segments were famous for their piercing glimpses into the obvious. Click here for a sample, or consider this, my humble attempt at a parody . . .

Have you ever looked at a doorknob? I mean really looked at a doorknob. Most people don’t look at doorknobs when they turn them. They just turn them. Some doorknobs turn clockwise. Others turn counter-clockwise. I’ve always wonder why that is. Some doorknobs aren’t knobs but levers. You don’t turn them. You push them down like you’re flushing a toilet. I half expect to hear the sound of water rushing around when I open a doorknob that’s a lever. But I don’t.

The reason I mention this is because A) Colion’s kvetching about deeply unfashionable gun stores is Rooney reincarnated (“Have you ever looked at a gun box? I mean, really looked at a gun box?”) and B) there’s a rumor going around that the international diplomatic community is considering adding a prohibition against playing the host’s rants to prisoners of war as an update to the Geneva Convention.

OK the show’s not quite that bad. And it is black. ‘Cause Colion’s black as hell (by his own admission). And he’s blacked-out every car he’s ever had (I’ll take window tinting for 200 Alex). His guns are black. And while he likes colored (as in colorful) guns, Colion’s black. Did I already mention that he’s black? If you don’t believe me or you’re blind, just listen to Colion in Episode 2. He mentions his skin color with such regularity that Noir (which means black) should have its own Guinness drinking game.

While I’m glad Colion’s black and an NRA spokesman, OK WE GET IT. I thought the whole point of a having a black spokesman was to demonstrate that gun rights transcend race. Not to make ethnicity the YouTube equivalent of Christ symbolism in The Old Man and the Sea. Only WAY more obvious. And ten times as tedious. Can we move on now please?

And while we’re moving on, can we ditch the metrosexual emphasis on fashion? I appreciate the fact that Mr. Noir is an aesthete. But trying to connect getting your inseam measured by your personal tailor to buying a gun at a gun store is like trying to compare dating your future wife to paying for a prostitute. Wait. That’s not it. Oh, you know what I mean. I mean, when is someone going to shoot a damn gun? Or release the horizontal tension on his co-host’s blouse? (It had to be said.)

Noir (the person) is a victim of love. (I could be wrong but I’m not. No I’m not.) The NRA loved Colion so much they let him produce his own show. Big mistake. Someone should have found a way to bottle his genius and then, uh, stick a cork in it. And let someone else have a go. Again, the panel idea would’ve worked. There are other possibilities. Call me Colion. Just like armed self-defense, the only thing worse than doing something wrong is to keep doing it wrong until you die. Metaphorically speaking.

130 Responses to Noir Episode 2: Have You Ever Looked at a Doorknob?

  1. Can’t disagree with your assessment. Two episodes in and it already feels like they’ve beat a few things to death. They really just make a point and them belabor it until your eyes glaze over. Plus, the rap between Colion and his co-host feels stilted and forced, maybe because they try to hard to make it seem light and spontaneous. I get actively uncomfortable listening to them banter. That said, it IS only two episodes. If they make some adjustments – BIG adjustments – there’s still a chance to make it work. I mean, isn’t there?

    • I kind of agree.

      I used to be a big Colion fan but these two vids have been making me lose some of my enthusiasm for the guy…

      And the cohost … (I can never even remember her name) is obvious intended eye candy. She brings nothing to the table other than that. In fact, I am curious how in the world her addition is meant to appeal to female shooters/fencesitters…

      If they wanted her to be a “female voice”, they should have cast someone else. The 2″ skirt and 9 foot long legs in the first vid aren’t going to really “speak” to lady viewers…

      And in this vid, I really hardcore noticed her huge feet, fake tan, and the fact she tries way too hard.

      The sexiness is gone and it’s not coming back.

      I will continue watching these things as they come out just to see if I’m wrong, but this one has jumped the shark in my opinion.

      Oh, and the reason I commented on the cohost’s appearance is simple:

      Casting a lady as eye candy isn’t effective if she doesn’t serve as eye candy. It doesn’t matter how a lady looks if she brings something to the table or has some sort of passion/skill… but that is obviously not why this person is on this show.

      For some reason, they chose to cast a co-host who merely serves as another voice in an echo chamber and to facilitate faux-flirty “banter” with Colion.

      Not. Impressed.

      • They need Kristen Joy-Weiss, or maybe Torri or Michelle from Team Glock to take over her spot asap.

        • Maybe Kirsten, yes. As for team Glock… if I were Colion Noir I would not want co-hosts who have been involved in sex scandals.

  2. It was not the smoothest but Noir does more for firearms owners and the business in one video that internet websites do in a year.

  3. While I agree that noir isn’t doing so well, why isn’t anyone talkin about the other show?

    I really like the new media lab thing and I think they are doing a good job, but I wish they did a little more than just describe what’s happening in movies.

    • I was looking forward to Media Lab (ridiculously-boring title), and was disappointed that it’s an 8-minute show.

  4. I kind of feel like ep 2 is a remake of episode 1, like each episode is sort of a redraft. Is it clunky so far? Yes. But I think as they do this more and get more familiar and comfortable with it they will slowly improve.

    • I concur. It definitely had that feel: he slowed down and explained what cerakoting is, she reiterated her thing about her headband boxes, etc.

      It looked like they redid the first episode with a less-frenetic pace. His odd-metered delivery will still be very off-putting to many people.

      Also their thing of “we have a hip, new way to be into guns”-thing is kind of obnoxious.

  5. I agree the first episode was not great, really hard to watch, but I have to say the second episode was an improvement THAT if they keep up has a chance to catch on in a part of our internet community. I think they should keep going for a few more episodes to see if they can keep improving and get it to where I needs to be. Maybe bring in some outside writers to help out if they can. Better than just giving up.

  6. Colion talks about being black almost as much as you talk about being Jewish. And his show is almost as good as your website. I’m not being sarcastic either.

    • This. Frankly, I haven’t watched either “episode” you referenced. I have however watched all of his Youtube videos and I was a fan early on of his work. Still am. This piece comes off as though you simply woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Try again.

      • Watch it. I was the same as you, a big fan of Colion from his YouTube, but his NRA show is atrocious. So difficult to watch and it’s making me lose my love for this dude.

        Also kind of unfair to comment on Robert’s opinion if you haven’t even watched what he’s commentating on. It’s like disagreeing with a movie review for a movie you’ve never watched.

        • Hardly. All I needed to do do was read RF’s lame diatribe above. He is clearly not familiar with Noir’s previous work or simply has a bone to pick. Nothing I have ever seen “produced” by NRA has been done without some sort of hiccup or comes off ….polished. This is a completely different format and really not something Noir has done before, you can tell. Regardless, Episode 2 came off comfortable (yup, watched it) for the most part as two people talking about guns kind of thing. He also made some pretty valid points on the customizing of a firearm being something like the car buying experience in getting what you want ….to include color. Hence his (Noir’s) comment “appealing to the masses”…or Amy’s comment on women’s night at the local gun club to entice people to get involved. (Frisco is local to me) Noirs comment of certain people in the “gun culture resisting this transformation”……preeeeeetty much fits to a T RF’s response. Sadly.

  7. RF, I love your work… but this review was pretty clunky and self-indulgent too. Cut the man SOME slack. The NRA has no clue what it is doing with this program, and Noir has no idea how to host a show. I doubt it will come to anything, but there’s no sense in castigating a genuinely stand-up guy. We need to stick together instead of eating our young in a public forum. Not saying you need to give the guy rave reviews… but some of that was a bit over the top.

  8. Letting Colion speak without any real dissent for 24 minutes and having Amy wearing pants which cover her amazing legs are equally bad ideas. I couldn’t get through the episode, and I’m pretty much a gun nut. I can easily watch Hickock45 pontificate about a Glock 42 for 15-18 minutes. Most of his posts are the same thing. An intro to the gun. Shooting steel. Pontification. More clanging steel. A few blasts on 2 liter bottles with colored water. I’m skeptical of the Glock 42, but I’ve seen that video 2-3 times. Hickock on the 300 BLK? At least 4 times. TwangnBang, Sootch, TNoutdoors9, ShootingtheBull (the exact screen names escape me) all have very watchable vids.

    I don’t see this show working without range time.

  9. TTAG you are welcome to try your own video line. I’ll wait and see if you have the talent to even do half as well as he has.

      • Is that what happened to the “firearms equivalent of TopGear” idea? I looked forward to that for a long time. Oh well. Can’t have everything.

        • Most top gear type antics would become felonies with the addition of firearms. Don’t get me wrong, it would be AWESOME to watch, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for a second season.

  10. Has it occurred to you that we are not his audience?

    I wasn’t fond of Rooney but he was watched by millions.

    • Of all the comments here and all I have read about the first episode, Jan really hits the nail on the head. I can’t agree enough that the typical TTAG reader is NOT the target audience for this show. Whether OFWGs like it or not really doesn’t matter. What do the young ‘ins think of it?

      • Thanks, the messenger is the message. Now for the rest of us, maybe Lawrence Welk would be a good choice? Never mind….

      • I’m 24 and I found the video to be very “preaching to the choir”. To be fair though, you’re not really going to find too many media sources that can offer anything new to any “controversial” issue. When it comes to firearms, there are those that seek to use their power, wealth, and influence to control the ignorant and turn them against the largely non-violent pro-2A folks, and then there are the pro-2A folks who generally oppose most of what the former faction tries to do.

        The audience he should be trying to reach (those ignorant about firearms culture) are just going to dismiss him as an Uncle Tom and accuse the NRA of attempting to use a token black guy to advance their political agenda. It’s already happened in some cases.

        • “…found the video to be very “preaching to the choir””

          This++. I have said this about all NRA content, and TTAG, also. The people that the NRA are trying to reach with these “NRA Freestyle” shows aren’t going to be looking for NRA videos on YouTube or going to NRA.com.

          It’s also funny (and telling) that the NRA isn’t giving these shows any support: why isn’t “Noir” or Media Lab (most uninspiring, bland name ever) on the Sportsman Channel, etc., rather than being relegated to online-only.

      • I’m young and thought it was stupid. And while it may be intended for a younger audience as you say, it’s not reaching a young audience that’s outside of the gun world, so therefore it is directed at gun folk. I doubt any of my non-gun friends are seeking out NRA video content or being pointed to it by whatever non-gun websites they might visit. So, that being said, I’m the young gun owner target audience and I think this show is STUPID and it makes me hate everything surrounding guns, other than guns, even more.

    • Glad to see that someone gets it.
      The audience they are going for is not a long time hard core gun owner/enthusiast. They are trying to reach the non-gun owner or new gun owner that is on the fence. Like it or not, the 20-30% in the middle will determine how laws are written in the future. Just as they determine who wins elections.

  11. They got to get out of the F’ing lazy chairs.

    Give up on the F’ing boxes! The reason the boxes are ugly and cheap is due to the simple fact that you never see the box until you paid your money! The gun store doesn’t have front-side space to show the box….they’re all stacked up in the back.

    Once again, I’d like to see where them crash some hipseter/leftist hangouts and getting people to stay stupid sheet about guns and then offer to take them to a range. Keep a tote-board tallying up the conversions. The bright thing would have been to have a bunch of these pre-made before his rep became more known.

    There were SOME better parts this week There were moments where it seemed like they weren’t reading from a script.

    • I agree with you about boxes not being important to the buying experience, as you don’t see them until after you’ve made your purchase. However, I was very disappointed when my Sig SP2022 came with a cardboard box.

  12. Was watching the Golf Channel today. Hal Sutton was doing swing stuff that made me drool with envy. He had one of those great instructor lines. Kind of like a Clint Smith line. It took the form of a dialog. “Ever heard of the Banana Split theory? No. One is great but six will make you sick.”

    Point is anything done too much defeats the purpose. Takes the enjoyment out of it. Have you ever tried to watch 3 hours a day of the NRA News? Cam Edwards is good and talented but jeeze is it boring. Same crap ever day. Noir is no different. One topic over and over. John Stewart and the like have a world of news stories to pick from. Talking guns, and more so talking about how minorities and guns go together, gets old real quick. This whole NRA pr plan of “I ‘m Black, Latino, gay, transgender, Asian, Martian, Zoroastrian … is all artificial feel good BS. When it becomes organic then it will be right and feel natural. It feels like pure PR crap from some firm specializing in corporate image make overs.

  13. That was hard to sit through. Kind of makes “How It’s Made” seem like “Masterpiece Theatre”.
    But it’s a new show, so let’s give it another go.

  14. I can’t give a fair assessment because I couldn’t make it more than a few minutes. It feels very forced and like everyone is trying a little too hard to be “hip” and cool. The two hosts have no chemistry together and its just difficult to watch. Not a fan.

    • You didn’t watch the video!? He finally confessed that he is actually White and Jewish. It’s all done with makeup. Great cover, huh?

  15. So far they still have two :straightmen” and no real “funnyman.” They need something that goes over the top. That is what the show needs. Thus far it’s all normal. Nothing pushing the envelope. Nothing saying “ABSOLUTE LUNACY!” like it should. I mean thus far, no test drives. No Stig like accuracy ninja. No reviews of equipment. No big star with a single shot derringer. It needs that kind of alternate format. Hearing Colion talk for 2 minutes is great. 3 minutes is good. 5 minutes gets kinda long. 20 minutes, and we start tuning out…

  16. I think I like his 2 minute infomercials better.
    The young lady adds some nice scenery to the video, but who is she?
    Does she shoot? Compete?
    What creds does she have?

    • That was my reaction too. Who is she? Yeah, she’s hot, but I don’t know her name and she never really says anything of note. She puts Colion off his suave demeanor because he is slightly intimidated by her. Eye candy only works when it’s insignificant and only eye candy.

      The videos are too long and Colion is better solo. I think he can really do this, though, if he finds his groove.

      But whoever she is, she’s pretty cute. Just unnecessary.

      • I think that Natalie Foster (even though I didn’t care for her recent “let’s blame video games” nonsense) would be a much better co-host.

        • Agreed.

          I too thought her video game rant was ridiculous, but she comes across like a genuine person who really does love shooting.

  17. Noir sucks, let’s all just say it already. And we all know why he got the job. If they get rid of the mtv/infomercial feel and bring on people that actually know guns then the show may have a chance. If I was the NRA I would of taken advantage of the youtube connection, bring on some of the popular gun channel hosts, some other gun enthusiasts/experts that are too good for youtube and support the NRA and maybe we will have a decent show. Out of all the tube gun people Noir wouldn’t have been in my top 20 even.

    • Yeah, but if they bring in known gun people then that defeats the whole purpose. It’s obvious that like a lot of other businesses and institutions the NRA has come to take certain people’s patronage for granted, and all if not most of their attention and focus will be invested in pursuing other demographics. If you don’t like it, they don’t care.

      Shut up and wave your NRA flag.

    • I disagree. There are plenty of “experts” out there. The purpose of this show, seemingly, is not to show weapons expertise, but to show how weapons are accessible.

    • You do realize that no one who is “on the fence” would watch 30 minutes of Hickok 45 (as much as we all love to watch him) talking and hitting steel targets.

  18. Eagles reference FTW.
    As for the show, I’m willing to give it time to find its feet. Sometimes you don’t know what’s going to work until you try it, and I don’t expect it to come together immediately or spontaneously.

  19. Good assessment. I’ve been a fan of his videos, but Noir falls flat. I hope they figure out how to fix it, though, because I really want to see it succeed. Here’s hoping.

  20. I respectfully disagree. I will admit the first episode was definitely not my favorite but if you compare the second to the first I think it is a major improvement. I believe his target audience is to people new to shooting or who have not shot before and I think he is successful at addressing those people.

  21. Hold it right there fellas. We want to normalize firearms ownership, open carry and concealed carry right? We want gun ownership to be mundane. What could possibly signify real progress towards these goals better than idiot box blather. Mr. Noir is not preaching to the choir with his new venture (at least not this choir). Mr. Noir is reaching an audience that Mr. Farago and Mr. LaPierre will never connect with. All of the insightful and logical debate in the world is powerless to influence the attitudes of non-gun metrosexuals, because they will not listen. Mr. Noir, on the other hand, can get their attention with talk of shopping experiences, attractive packaging and all manner of insipid, boring and banal claptrap. Cry if you must, but this is what victory looks like. Sigs, Hks and Bushmasters on the 24 hour shopping network.

  22. Guys let us remember. This show targets my generation. Most of which love this style of show. This is what we need. Of course people like us won’t like it. That means it works.

  23. @RF, give the dude a break. Stop trying to blow his candle out to make yours appear brighter. It’s unbecoming and frankly, it’s pretty sad.

  24. ***shakes head***

    Y’all older guys just don’t get it ,do you.

    Colion Noir isn’t talking to the old white guy who buys his guns, engine oil, and groceries at the same country General Store. His point about the product boxes is spot on- because his generation -and mine -expect some detail with the buying experience.

    Why is it that a $600 cell phone is packaged in an attractive plastic art box, and a $600 piece of life saving equipment is in an injection molded Tupperware case? It’s the same reason most TTAG readers seem to hate the show- because guns are considered ‘tools’ to the old timers, and ‘lifestyle accessories’ to the new guard.

    If you’re clueless why the box design matters, you’ve just proven the point. You likely view what’s inside the box as the only thing that matters-and even then, it’s just a product designed for a purpose. The new generation-the future voters of America- doesn’t view products that way. We view every thing we buy as a lifestyle accessory. Which is why the current marketing structure for firearms is soooo obsolete. I can go online and order any combination of colors for a cell phone, a device which pales in importance to my carry weapon. Yet if I want to do the same for my CCW gun, I’m forced to Google my tail off for a vendor and mail my product to a stranger three states away , hoping I get something good in a few weeks’ time.

    I can imagine what the detractors would say .”Who Gives An F about the box, or customization or any of that fru-fru Pottery Barn crap.” A lot of folks. Like most of the next and current generation. If we want guns to be something socially accepted outside of dimly lit country shops hidden near the airport, we need to get modern.

    Forget Buds Gun Shop, and think like a Prada Emporium -except for guns. Imagine a Beretta Boutique chain located right next to your wife’s favorite designer clothing store. Walk in, you get the Armani Exchange ambiance, premium customer service, and up front access to guns, holsters, and products. That kind of store experience will go a lot further towards expanding gun rights among the common folk and the wealthy class then “S&W Discount Day at Eds Gun and Pawn!”.

    • Do you realize that if this Noir crap actually works, it puts firearms into the hands of limp-wristed metrosexual types? But when the SHTF, I don’t want anyone who’s not already made of steel on my team.

      So that leaves us against a swarm of fifty million or so furries (or whatever the hell they have sex with) armed with pink Berettas. Cancel Noir NOW before it’s too late!

      Because do you really want to arm people who think of firearms as fashion accessories?

      Let them quit soy-burger latttes and flip the switch on their manli- or womanliness first. Then self-select to become People of the Self-Defense Tools. Don’t pander to the queers!

      • And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why the gun culture has a bad name. Your comments make the rest of us out to be intolerant hicks in the eyes of the general public. Do us all a favor and engage your brain before you open your trap. When the SHTF, you will be thankful for anyone to watch your back while you are sleeping.

        • Liberal uses bloody shirt attack
          ….
          It misses!
          …..
          Liberal uses Shannon Watts
          ….it misses!

          Ok next anime, maybe attack on titan?

    • Yeah but it’s not just OFWGs who hate it.

      I’m not old. I am trendy. I watch Epic Rap Battles of History. I read multiple Blogs.

      I just spent like $2500 on a gaming computer.

      And I think this show sucks. So… anecdotal evidence is anecdotal.

  25. Noir on his own is pretty good. And I’m sure the woman on her own would be appealing to other women.
    But together, just awful. And I wil not buy a pistol unless it’s black, will not buy a revolver unless black, full matt or shiny metal. Guns are not fashion accessories. They are tools, serious tools. Plenty of different color grips, grip sleeves, holsters, Don’t need a pretty box, just one that has make/model/calbier/serial number, in case Iwant to sell later on.
    OK, I would love a Hello Kitty themed Mossberg 500 12 gauge shotgun just because., but would not pay to have mine custom painted

    • No offense, TXgal, but that attitude is why Noir doesn’t appeal to you.

      Hes not trying to reach the guy or gal who buys guns they way they buy laundry detergent. A lot of folks in the younger generation expect a company to care about the purchase experience when the product is important- and today, it’s OK that a life saving $600 firearm is wrapped in a cheap plastic box- yet a $600 cell phone is packaged in a well designed case.

      Then there’s the ambiance. When a newcomer of my generation walks into a gun shop, it’s like a time warp to the 1970s. Lots of guns on the wall, an old dude with a beard behind the counter, and lots of guns on a display case with ancient grey padding. Compare that to going to the Apple Store-why can’t I walk into a modern day gun dealer who keeps their products on display in a well designed store, instead of a dingy display case?

      You might read this and think “WTF, none of this matters.” Except we literally need to expand the reach of the RKBA. It’s not optional. Those folks we see milling around in the Pottery Barns , BMW dealerships, and Apple Stores need to be buying and using guns. Those folks care about the small stuff, like what the box looks like and what customized options they can order.If we write off that generations marketing desires as irrelevant, they’ll write off our gun rights in the voting booth as ‘irrelevant’ in turn.

      • That’s a good point, actually. I know what I’m doing when the Idaho Powerball finally call my numbers…

      • No offense taken ST, and I do like Noir. Just not this format.. I shop Acadamy, Cabeals, because they have younger generation of both guys and gals, who appreciate women shooters. Go to a gun range that only a couple of years ago was awful to women, treated like we were invisable. But when I found out they have a Ladies Day, thought I’d give em another chance. Glad I did, now co-owned by a woman, no old fart acting guys dismissive of me or the other “girls” also noticed a younger generation of guys using the range.
        As far as presentation is concerned I do have one of those $600.00 phones, but did not buy it for the box.
        Guns are tools, same as bow & arrow, speargun, even a quality sling shot. I get what you say about “my generation walks into a gun shop, it’s like a time warp to the 1970s. Lots of guns on the wall, an old dude with a beard behind the counter, and lots of guns on a display case with ancient grey padding”. That’s why I don’t shop at the “good ole boys gun shops anymore. BUT until more women became interested in shooting, that is all there was. And I, not of your generation, appreciate more than you can know the young people I see at gun ranges/small & big box retail with gun departments. I like my makeup in a pretty box but my guns? Guess i just care about what’s in the box. I see the type of guns my Ladies Shooting Leauge carry, not a pink one to be seen among our group of young, older and in between women. I certainly would not think poorly if I did see one. Just not my thing but each to their own. What is important to me is talking to young, old, middle age, black, brown, red,.yellow, hetro or gay,women how important it is to be able to defend yourself by the best method available. I’m not a OFWG, just a gal who really love my guns and the 2nd amend that grants me the right to own them.

        • I agreed with this.

          And yes, I like packaging too…

          But if you never see it before purchasing the item, it doesn’t add any value and I’d prefer to buy my item $50 cheaper in that case.

          The biggest issue with buying a gun in the US is the gun store culture. A lot of the folks who feel the motivation to get their own gun stores are the worst possible ambassadors for gun ownership.

          As a younger guy, I’ve noticed a HUGE difference in how I was treated walking into a typical gun store based on what I was wearing and what type of steel I might be carrying.

          I don’t get this same experience walking into pretty much any other type of store these days.

      • Guns generally aren’t profitable enough for every gun shop to be like that, particularly outside major metropolitan areas. Profit margin on most guns is 10-20% for the retailer.

        Gun stores themselves are artificially protected from fully being driven out by internet sales because of licensing requirements and the requirements for buyers to fill 4473s and pass background checks. Without that you’d be left with Walmart and the high end county club style stores, and all the middle of the road guys would die off.

        Customization isn’t for manufacturers, it’s impractical to add that many SKUs. Customization is for dealers to do by having armorers and gunsmiths on site; which most of the larger stores do.

        Another reason to avoid a more expensive box or accessories that come on the gun is manufacturers pay 11% federal excise tax on the total cost of the gun as sold. It is much cheaper for consumers to buy a case separately than for a manufacturer to include the cost of the case then add 11% to that before it’s sold to the distributor, and then the dealer charges his retail price with that case cost and extra FET figured in that increases retail cost and thus sales tax too. Because of FET there is more profit in selling accessories separately than having them packaged as one whole gun.

        Noir’s commentary doesn’t take any of those things into account. The NRA and NSSF have statistical data on these subjects as to mean income and number of guns purchased per person on average. People who regularly buy guns as a fashion statement or to fulfill an emotional need are the exception, not the rule.

        • Having an education in business, allow me to counterpoint.

          In nearly every retail business-there are exceptions to this general rule- the end product usually has a small or non-existent profit margin for the retailer. There’s a reason the pimply kid at Best Buy tries to upsell you to a service plan -because the company makes almost nothing unless you buy a case, extra charger, tote bag, etc. Electronics company managers would die of joy if they could get even 10% margin on the end product .

          Same deal with cell phones. Companies lose money unless a customer buys extras with the phone .

          Yet, despite the low margins, most electronics retail shops still have better design and layouts then most every gun shop I’ve been to-inside and outside the city. I can also walk into a Best Buy and order any combination of colors and engravings for most of their products. As to background check requirements, cellular devices and some other products require a credit check on the buyer- and those are a lot easier to fail then a 4473. Further, every business has regulatory restrictions and whatnot. Buying a gun might seem tough until you try to add an iPad to your phone companys data account. A 4473 is only two double sided pages compared to a six page carrier service agreement and disclosure forms.

          Yet, when it comes to guns none of that is possible. Unlike , say, iPhones, guns are also practically worthless without certain accessories. You can use a laptop without a carry case. Good luck carrying a pistol concealed without a holster.Things get really absurd when you’re spending over $800+ for a gun, where your buying experience basically consists of walking into a dingy showroom, plopping down the coin, watching the sales guy disappear in the backroom for the ATF check, and then being handed the bag and told “have a nice day, ammos over there”. Where’s the comfortable tables? Where’s the sense someone gives a damn I’m spending my money there? It gets even worse in a lot of shops, because many of them are openly discriminatory. Some are run buy folks who give a woman a .380 because they just “Know” she can’t handle anything else. Some of them even view non-traditional gun owners with the stink eye.

          How long do you think Best Buy would be in business if even 10% of their stores treated their cleintele that way?

          More to the point, how can we reach out to more people if they can’t stand even spending time in the showroom?

        • ST you just emphasized my point that customization and accessories fall on the dealer to sell, not on the manufacturer.

          A lot of dealers suck at up selling, but they have an artificially captured market. Even if you order online, you have to go pick it up from a dealer. Compare to most electronic devices you can order online and have shipped direct to your house. If people didn’t have to go into a gunstore, most would close and only those that offered exceptional service or incredibly low prices would remain.

  26. It’s annoying when a lot if people talk about guns like they are “JUST tools to me.” They are way cooler than tools. Admit it. I doubt anyone that says that goes to sites devoted to hammers, watch youtube videos on screwdrivers, or are members of message boards about wrenches. If they are just a tool to you why do you have 50 that serve the same purpose as the rest?

  27. Don’t know whether this format will work for him in the long run. His long segments should be shorter and the short guest appearances seem too rushed. If you can do better by all means create your own show and out-Noir him.

  28. Give the guy a chance. OFWGs are not his target audience. The more people are talking about guns and how great they are, the more people shift to our side and away from the “guns are scary, only used to kill” crowd.

    He made some great points. You go to a store to spend $400-$1500 or more on something, why can’t it be a cool experience. Why can’t it be as cool as buying a surround sound system or going to the apple store?

    Hey, like most forms of entertainment, if you don’t like it, change the channel. But don’t hate on someone when they’re helping spread the word. The negative remarks just seem to demean us all.

    BTW, Thanks for posting it on TTAG. I might not have found it otherwise.

    • I agree. Buying a gun is an awful experience. If you go to a place like Cabelas, Walmart, or GT Distributors, you have to wait in a long line before you can touch anything, and then there’s a long line of people waiting behind you. It would be nice if they had a better customer experience. As it is, you have to be persistent to buy a gun.

      Say I go to Cabelas or Walmart. I have limited time because the wife is running around buying what she’s buying and I drift over to the gun department. If I had a few hundred bucks to spend (which is much more common when I’m single), I might see some interesting gun and want to buy it. But when it takes 30 to 45 minutes to get waited on before I can even touch it, I’m not likely to make that impulse buy.

      And then once I get the salesman’s attention, I know there are several behind me waiting, and unless I know that I am going to buy something, I’m likely to look quickly and get out of their way.

      Nice boxes are important to the customer experience, but more important is just allowing browsing.

      • I think that’s spot on. The show needs more action and more visuals. Go to a gun store and ask for something crazy like a purple gun.

  29. I am not an OFWG… just a WG, so I may not have the best slant on this. I am, after all, on the fringe of the target audience.

    My Deconstructive criticism: The show is boring. I only watched 3 minutes. Colion is interesting to me, but only to a point. He has to do something other than sit in a bucket and talk to a girl about colors.

    My constructive criticism: The show would do better if there was commonality to discuss with people of other ethnicities, news, or video of outdoor experiences to bring back to the talk show. For example, Colion takes some friends on their first trip to the range…. then they discuss back at the studio. OR, Colion sends someone to a political hotspot (like the Bundy BLM roundup in NV) and they report back in the studio while referencing video taken at the scene. Too “non target?” Then do a man-on-the-street deal using the JayZ/Beyonce trailer I saw on TTAG today. The point here is that the studio setting is usable, but way too dull. Reasons need to be found to break up that scene into more consumable bites.

  30. This blog should be named the Truth about Kvetching Gun Owners. Seriously, all the whining in these comments about someone as standup as Colion is sad. Anyone of you putzes have the cajones to make a better show or contribute to expanding gun rights? yeah. thought so.

    • I’m nowhere near as likable as Colion. I think he has a lot of potential. These first two episodes don’t quite do it but he’ll get better.

  31. RF’s critical look at the show is spot on as I see it. Am I MCN’s target audience? Not a chance. Maybe it plays better to the Anti-OFWG that doesn’t know why he doesn’t own a gun.

    • I have to agree with Dave. No idea why TTAG is bashing Noir’s efforts so hard. You’d think he had joined MDA or something

      : )

      Come on, Robert, lighten up a bit on the guy. Give it some time.

      • I would not say the post was “bashing” just using some creative license to highlight that the show is boring. It IS boring. Unless the producers have a mind reading helmet, the only way to improve the show is to let it be known that the show is boring. You say bashing, I say constructive criticism.

  32. boooooorrrring. Yes, all of his points are valid. Shooting guns is cool. Talking about shooting guns, boring. Yes, gun manufacturers should be able to provide custom guns (stocks, whatever) most have interchangeable aftermarket parts now anyway. But I don’t want to hear about it, I want to *see* what you would do with it. Show me some pretty guns. Then I want to see some lead downrange.

    On the other hand, the only thing worse than a boring show is no show at all. At least now we have a show to criticize, so it’ll get better.

  33. Well this show might not speak to old farts like us but maybe it speaks to someone and if thats the case good! I hope it does and helps enlighten just one anti-gunner to our side. At least they are trying. That’s more than can be said for the majority of us that bitch and complain. I applaud the attempt, not necessarily the delivery. Maybe they can work out the kinks as they go along. Like him or not Colin is a voice and he has followers. Maybe we should offer suggestions on how the show could improve instead of why it sucks.

    You know the one thing that I hate about gun people is that sometimes there is an arrogance and smugness that seems to go along with it. You know, like if you walk into a gun store where they don’t know you and ask some questions or to see an item. You always get this feeling that you are bothering them. Maybe it’s the blank stare you get or the argumentative answers to your questions that detail why your choice sucks. It’s very much this holier than thou thing with gun people a lot of the times. I kind of felt like one of those old farts that I was bothering in the gun store wrote this article.

  34. @RF,

    Maybe you didn’t get the obvious; he mentioned that he’s black in response the the leftist articles that are obsessing on his skin color and acting like he couldn’t possibly be into guns on his own.

    By the same token (pun unintended); why do you constantly mention (apropos-of-nothing) being Jewish?
    Pot calling the kettle black (pun intended)?

  35. I watched one minute’s worth. Its a fluff show centered around guns. The target (sorry) audience is not us, ie typical gun owner. Let it be and broaden the rainbow of POTG.

  36. Its kind of ironic, but I would peg many of the TTAG writers as more metro sexual than Colion. I guess they fashion themselves as operators.

  37. Colion is good, but not good enough to headline.

    He’s still an opening act. He can kill it with 3 to 5 minutes of material that is topical, to the point and has the right balance of snark and substance. That’s his sweet spot.

    The new show Is basically the same 3-5 minute schtick, just drawn out. Its boring, repetitive and starts to get preachy. When comics try to stretch material too thin, they bomb and well ….he’s starting to bomb.

    He’s a good talent, but in the right context. This format is too much time for a one trick pony.

  38. Unfortunately, he’s going to be known by everyone as “that black gun guy”. When I first discovered him, I kept calling him that (because I couldn’t remember his wacky nom de screen), until I felt bad about that and made myself remember his name.

  39. I think instead of hating on his program, we should be happy someone is trying to reach a wider audience. For me I enjoy both his Youtube stuff and his new show NOIR, the later shows a lot of potential. It’s a fresh take on what we are used to seeing in our industy that we love so much. Why can’t we just enjoy it for what it is now, another show about guns.

  40. “Colion’s kvetching about deeply unfashionable gun stores is Rooney reincarnated”
    —He has a point, although to be fair, not all gun stores are the same. Some are very elegant and stylish, others look like they’re falling apart.

    ” I thought the whole point of a having a black spokesman was to demonstrate that gun rights transcend race.”

    —-They do, but just like Top Shot’s Chris Cheng will occasionally mention being gay, Asian, and supporting same-sex marriage, we can expect Noir to remind us that he’s black on occasion.

    “can we ditch the metrosexual emphasis on fashion?”

    —-Well, that’s more a black thing than anything else. Blacks are the kind of people that buy $300 sneakers, drink Crown Royal, and dream of driving a Cadillac someday. They also love FUBU which is not cheap by any means.

    To be fair, I haven’t seen Noir’s 25 minute show, I only watch his 3-minute episodes, slow internet connection, but let’s understand something, Noir is not the Ambassador of All Gun Owners nor does he claim to be, he became popular because he was doing something different, he’s like a right-wing Chris Rock, so while I appreciate your honest review, I think you have to give him a chance, as time goes on, his show will either improve or he’ll be replaced.

    Frankly, I don’t care much for TV on the Internet, I’d rather see Noir on the Fox Business Network, but that’s my opinion.

    • Black buy 300.00 shoes? Lol, you must not have any pinoys or khmers as friends. In daygo you will see mainly the asian kids with the freshest gear and “blacks” coming in second. I’m only half American African ( America first!) and I would never spend more than 150 on shoes and that woukd be onky for work shoes. I grew up in a Oside..try to wear some 300.00 shoes and see how far you get.

  41. I strongly disagree with this post, are you not trying to attract more members? I would love to go to a classy place and get a custom gun. I just turned 30 and I am of the generation that likes to customize almost everything. I am not a hipster but I like style and the next generation coming of age has had the internet since they were born. I order most of my clothes online now after going to the store to try them on, just think how much money the store is loosing from not having pumas in the color I want. I wrapped my car in matte satin teal green, a month later I switched to blood orange. I want choices now, not weeks later and not at an extra price. Seriously if store owners treated gun stores more like restaurants the could increase sales tremendously! Or like a car dealership like Noir said in the video. As to him talking about being black, yes he is black and well educated, articulate…I thought he is one of the other main targets. Would not attracting more minorities be good for businesses in the long run and secure our rights long term. We (minorities) will outnumber OFWG (sorry that is just how I see everyone on put it as that) just due to them dying out from age and with Obama shipping in kids from Guatemala ( I know a lot and they are some of the hardest workers I have met and a lot more polite than my cousins in Mexico), like it or not they will become citizens. We must find a way to include them into society in a proper way and to teach them the rule of law….after we start following our own laws first…lead by example. In 20 years the WILL vote and they WILL remember how they were treated. Lets fix our culture first with hard lessons in Civics, Government, and responsibility to family/neighbors.

  42. Also Andy Rooney is the shit! I grew up watching him and he was hilarious! I like he would go into detail about the smallest thing and you could stop and actually identify with him. He will be missed.

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