My last review of the Noir show sets tongues wagging inside and outside the NRA. Hey, they asked for it. Literally. And I did nothing more than tell the truth about the Freestyle show. IMHO. To commemorate that review, Colion Noir has titled his third outing “The Truth About Noir.” LOL. No really, ALOL. “The truth about Noir?” the host asks rhetorically, “Is that this is what it’s all about.” And he shoots a gun! Just like I pictured it. Skyscrapers. And everything. So does Noir bring the noise? That depends on whether or not you think his crack about . . .
there being “enough guys blogging in their basements about guns” is referring to yours truly. In my defense, while I’m still in my pajamas at 11:00am on Memorial Day, Texas houses don’t have basements. But hey, at least I’m not “on the other side” where “you’ve got a bunch of Ivy League grads with more education and personality writing their dime-a-dozen hipster critiques about shit they don’t understand.”
“Come out here,” he says to his critics. “Feel the real truth about guns,” he urges, violating TTAG’s trademark. I think Noir (the person) proceeds to banish me to “my basement of unmitigated insecurities,” but he might be referring to anti-gunners. Anyway, then he’s off, rabbiting-on (again) about his favorite subject: defending the show.
Methinks Mr. Noir doth protest too much. Time to move on. Seriously. “Here at Noir I really want this show to be an exploration of ideas . . .” Queue the gun guru who’s talking about what he’s going to do on the show. Colion, baby, you HAVE your show. Stop talking about it and DO SOMETHING WITH IT.
That said, Noir has evolved. Colion’s gone from being the Jeremy Clarkson of guns to the Andy Rooney of guns to the Bill O’Reilly of guns. Just as O’Reilly’s guests are an excuse for O’Reilly to express O’Reilly’s opinion (which comes straight from God), Noir’s guests are an excuse for Noir to be Noir. Which is great – if you can’t get enough hipster monologues. Which is, clearly, Noir’s default mode.
Let me be clear: the O-Reilly-ification of Noir (the person) is not a bad thing. For one thing, O’Reilly’s show is a chart topper. For another, IF Noir makes good on his promise to have antis on his show (you’re welcome) AND features more shooting and less kvetching, Noir could really take off. Otherwise, this show will keep spinning its wheels until it runs out of gas. And that’s the truth about Noir.
Note: the usual no-flaming the website (and fellow commentators and anyone else, really) rule has been relaxed for this post. Go on. Get it out of yours system. Oh and I’ve challenged Colion to a duel. Dueling tree. Me in my PJs him in his $1000 Brioni (or whatever) suit. Watch this space.