Gun Tattoo of the Day: Icognito Edition

Antoine Petty (courtesy myfoxdc.com)

In my younger days, I had a bit of a lead foot. Osmium, actually. More than once I ended up on the wrong end of the law. So when it came time to choose a license plate at the DMV I never ever considered a vanity plate. Why make it easy for someone to remember my plate? Now that I’m older the same rule applies to everything: my car, house and guns are conspicuous by their non-conspicuousness. OK the Mercedes Cialis is a bit bling, but, as Edna Mode says, no capes! I mean, no tattoos. While the guy above doesn’t have a gun tat, myfoxdc.com reports that “Police say 30-year-old Antoine Petty is wanted for stealing a gun from an acquaintance in Largo, Md., on Monday. Petty has many distinctive tattoos on his face and is known to frequent the Largo and Forestville areas.” It’s only a matter of time.

comments

  1. avatar Hannibal says:

    Is that smiley face on his nose for real?

    Love it.

    1. avatar TheBear says:

      I bet that’s the one that gets him all the chicks.

      1. avatar Gunr says:

        Like Mom’s Mabley

  2. avatar William Burke says:

    A great tattoo is a work of art, but a bad tattoo is a piece of sh*t forever. These are beyond bad. They look like they were done with Magic Markers. By a blind wino.

    1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

      Blind wino… Ha! That’s great.

    2. avatar SpeleoFool says:

      Are those really tattoos, or did someone pass out at a party with Sharpies & cruel friends? 😉

    3. avatar Rad Man says:

      Dropped some major bitcoin on that ink! Just think of the things he could have done had he saved his tattoo money – bought a French fry, a new tooth brush, paid his overdue library book fines, put eleven ounces of gas in his Chevy Monza.

      1. avatar ccw says:

        + 1,000,000

    4. avatar Hannibal says:

      When your tattoo artist is chosen by who is closest in the cell block, it’s hard to be picky…

  3. avatar Model66 says:

    Something tells me that this picture wasn’t taken from an employee ID badge.

    1. avatar rosignol says:

      I find the Tattoo Location Guide to be surprisingly accurate:

      http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Tattoo_ea1459_845003.jpg

  4. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Double-yew
    Tee
    Efffff

    That’s seriously messed up

  5. avatar PeterC says:

    He might as well be wearing a Toxic Waste sign.

  6. avatar Braenen says:

    Yo, I heard you like faces so I drew a face on my face so I could face while i faced.

  7. avatar Maineuh says:

    “Gee, I don’t know, Occifer. I can’t say for sure if that’s the guy who mugged me.”

  8. avatar Paul53, says:

    Jeez! Some peoples kids! No officer, it must have been another person with tattoos all over his face. Why are you harassing my?

    Just a wild guess here, but I bet he does drugs. In the ER we would call him a self propelled toxic waste dump. SPTWD pronounced “spitwad.”

    1. avatar Swarf says:

      Holy shit that’s good. Ain’t no gallows humor like ER gallows humor.

    2. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Spitwad.
      OMG! I just shat myself laughing so hard.
      Dang, I miss dark humor.

  9. avatar RockThisTown says:

    Appears to be a lack of planning . . . . done by a 4-year old, and it’s quite the resumé enhancer.

    1. avatar Jus Bill says:

      But since he hangs out in Largo and Forestville the PG po-po will never be able to pick him out of the crowd.

  10. avatar g2 says:

    “Mercedes Cialis?” do tell….

    1. avatar Robert Farago says:

      CLS550

      1. avatar g2 says:

        so THAT is what the “CLS” stands for! The more you know…. ;-)>

    2. avatar Curtis in IL says:

      Just remember to stop driving it if… you know… it lasts longer than four hours.

  11. avatar tfunk says:

    When did Cialis come out with a Mercedes branded pill?

    Perhaps you should check the old voice dick-tation thing-a-ma-bob

    1. avatar Paul G. says:

      It’s just saying cee-ell-ess with a bit of a twang.

  12. avatar Swarf says:

    Why can’t any of the people who thinks a face tattoo is a good idea just go ahead and get “POOR IMPULSE CONTROL” on their forehead?

    If you’re going to eff up your mug forever, you might as well make a nice book reference.

    Maybe they’re not big readers.

    1. avatar Gyufygy says:

      Cops need to search the side car on his bike, just to be sure.

  13. avatar Nick D says:

    So, he has YHWH, the Hebrew name for God, a Christian cross, and a pentagram all drawn in a line on his forehead? Is he trying to hedge his bets for what deity he’ll meet if and when somebody mistakes the ninja star between his eyes as a bullseye?

    1. avatar EthanB says:

      Don’t forget the horns

      1. avatar Nick D says:

        And a little blue balloon next to the word
        E
        L
        I
        T
        E
        Just to show he has all the impulse control of a child.

  14. avatar former water walker says:

    Mom must be SO proud. Could those be prison tats?

  15. avatar rlc2 says:

    This face tat thing- does that mean he was someone’s beyotch inside?

    Def not rockin’ the “Gray Man” thing that Robert is getting at…

    http://ferfal.blogspot.com/2010/08/gray-man-concept.html

  16. avatar Gunr says:

    The hair do, or don’t, goes nice with the decorative face art! This dude has an ” attitude” for sure. He wants everyone to know he’s a bad hombre! I wonder how his face would look straddling some crosshairs.

  17. avatar Curtis in IL says:

    If you’re going to post mug shots of every tatted up idiot who steals a gun, you’ll need to hire more staff.

  18. avatar PT Stud says:

    Dude be all like, ” how come no one be hiring an sh!t?”

    1. avatar Mark says:

      ^^^Now that there is funny ^^^

  19. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    I will be pissed if Shannon invites him over for a beer before me

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Oh geez,
      The comments get funnier and funnier.
      Priceless Dirk. Just priceless.

  20. avatar Sam Spade says:

    I may be mistaken (and often am), but I find this more sad than funny. Once upon a time I volunteered to help in what is now called a “Special Education” class. There is no end to what some people will do those who are easily suggestible.

    Just ask the BATFE.

  21. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

    You know this guy does drugs.

  22. avatar Aaron says:

    Isn’t this the face of some member of Congress?

  23. avatar Gordon Wagner says:

    Model citizen.

  24. avatar Robb says:

    Props for the Edna Mode reference.

  25. avatar Ralph says:

    I’ll give Petty this much — he’s a handsome devil.

  26. avatar Cameron S. says:

    I think I’m getting “Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum” on my shoulder, possibly surrounding an AR.

    My only apprehension is that I’m 21, and may not think it’s cool at 41.

    That’s why I’ll just get it now so I can’t not do it later :p

    1. avatar Fuque says:

      No dude..hold off till you see a 41 yr old with a similar tat..

    2. avatar jughead says:

      Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

  27. avatar Paul G. says:

    Is that Mike Tyson’s son?

  28. avatar Fuque says:

    Poster Child for labor ready.

  29. Wow, well…he certainly is making a statement. Unfortunately, the statement is, “I’m a total idiot.”

    1. avatar Conway Redding says:

      No, the statement is, “Fuck all y’all. I don’t care to be part of what you call ‘society.'”

    2. avatar jughead says:

      Yes, people should go and wear a collar and recite stories from your mythological storybook.

  30. avatar Accur81 says:

    And here’s a “book” you can judge by the cover.

  31. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    If Obama had a son who had an IQ of double barrel Joe…

    1. avatar jughead says:

      That’s almost as funny as Sarah Palin’s actual daughter who got knocked up and then tried to go around lecturing girls on not getting pregnant, etc.

      1. avatar Paul G. says:

        The idea of someone sharing their experience as a good reason not to make the same mistake actually is quite a credible idea.

  32. avatar jwm says:

    We need to bring back the “Your honor, that man needed killing.” laws in this country. When you’re so phucked up carny folk won’t have you maybe the species is better off without you.

    Every life is sacred my ass.

  33. avatar S.CROCK says:

    He should just get a tattoo that says “I never want to be employed…ever…anywhere!”

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      You mean you wouldn’t want this dude frying up your Big Mac at Golden Arches?

  34. avatar Carry.45 says:

    This guy is a stooge. Face tats are, at best, a poor decision. This is probably worse than getting “ass hole” around your mouth.

  35. avatar Grumpy in Kali says:

    ding-dong

    Good evening sir, I’m here to take your daughter out on a date.

    1. avatar bontai Joe says:

      That has been my worst nightmare. My step daughter has not had made the best choices in men in the past, but so far, all have surpassed this clown.

  36. avatar Gunr says:

    What would you do if your 17 yr. old daughter told you she was going on a date that weekend with a nice gentleman she met in church, and this this piece of shit showed up at your door step?

    1. avatar IdahoPete says:

      If you lived in Texas, you could say “Well, yer honor, the sumbitch needed killin’.”

      And the jury would agree.

      1. avatar jughead says:

        Because the nice gentleman she met in church surely couldn’t be the same as this guy, just not the same as far as outward appearance, since as we all know, that’s all that matters.

        1. avatar Gunr says:

          Certainly outward appearance is not all that matters, but first impressions on appearance usually indicate, to a large degree, what’s on the inside!

        2. avatar bontai Joe says:

          Normally, outward appearances are not so important, but the decision making process in THIS guy’s outward appearance says LOSER with no doubt in my mind.

  37. avatar LongPurple says:

    Did that fool actually pay someone money to do that to him?

  38. avatar Lolinski says:

    Regarding vanity plates:

    Get one with only “1” and “I” used, kinda like this:

    https://xkcd.com/1105/

  39. avatar Southern Cross says:

    Any tattoos above the shoulder line mean “The cost of my incarceration will exceed the value of any taxes I may pay”.

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