Self-Defense Tip: GTFO

If that monster had stepped out of the Porsche Panamera without a gun, I still would have had the mother of all adrenalin rushes. Of course, I would have never left my car in the first place. As soon as Porsche guy blocked me in, I would have backed my car up and gotten out of there. Failing that, I would have driven past the Poker, scraping the door – even though it would have escalated his rage. I’m no James Bond, but my driving skills are a lot better than my fighting skills – with or without a firearm. (True story). Anyway, approaching a driver outside my vehicle to bitch at him for not letting me past? Not even an option. But let’s say you found yourself in this situation. What then? Well . . .

The non-Porsche driver had the exact right idea: put the car between yourself and Gigantor. Only our “hero” only had that idea after the initial physical contact was made. (I was sure the big guy was going to fire moments thereafter.) During the ensuing chaos, the big guy bashes the windshield and racks his slide. Is there a condition above condition red? Puce?

And yet the guy being chased is moving like molasses. When you’re looking to put a car/tree/mailbox/whatever between yourself and the bad guy, don’t mess around. Move! As soon as you can, run! That’s even if you’re tooled-up. Again, master the art of shooting at a pursuer while running away. Although . . . that was a pretty damn crowded crime scene.

When Gigantor fired the gun (2:13) I was sure that was it. But what’s this? There was someone else in the good guy’s car! Well thanks a lot for the help. I guess it didn’t occur to her to beep the horn, run over the guy with the gun or something. I don’t know about you, but I once found myself in a suddenly dangerous situation where a best bud did sweet FA to help me out.

Another post. For now, remember that parting isn’t always such sweet sorrow. Sometimes, often, it’s the difference between life and death.

comments

  1. avatar GoodGuyWithAGun says:

    what was that i heard one time about de-escalation…oh right

    escalating the situation by being the first one to step out of the car seems to be the wrong choice here. especially when andre the giant gets out of his clown car.

    1. avatar Brooklyn the da house says:

      In Russia pulling gun out is de-escalation.

      1. avatar ropingdown says:

        …depending on where they had previously stuck that gun…

      2. avatar MrPredictable says:

        In soviet Russia gun deescalates you.

    2. avatar 16V says:

      Despite the obvious typo, he stepped out of a ‘Porker’, not a ‘Poker’….

    3. avatar Aaron says:

      Especially in Russia, where a PorschePanamera is a good clue that the driver is a mafioso

  2. avatar Gunr says:

    That’s why you have a reverse gear in your car.

    1. avatar Aaron says:

      or, a big honkin’ ‘Merican 4×4 with a big Yankee V-8 and a huge metal brushguard – no need for reverse!

  3. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    He should have known it would be a left crazy Ivan because it was at the bottom of the hour…

    1. avatar BDub says:

      One ping….one ping only!

      1. avatar JAS says:

        Vasili…..

    2. avatar Freeheel says:

      Awesome

    3. avatar HighInTheSky says:

      Actually, it was starboard. But solid Hunt for Red October reference. Friggin love that movie!

    4. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

      Little known bit of trivia, but the last action scene in that movie, where Ryan’s chasing that KGB agent around the missile silos (some things in there don’t react well to bullets), was actually filmed at the Budweiser brewery here in Houston. Those “missile silos” on the sub, were actually filled with hops and barley in real life.

      1. avatar bozo says:

        lol – ruined. Had no idea hops & barley reacted so badly to bullets.

  4. avatar JaxD says:

    It sounds just like an exchange I had in Brighton Beach. Cut me off, flipped them the bird, 4 guys got out. I beat feet like a motherf.cker.
    Russian cursing is so eloquent. Lol.

    1. avatar Brooklyn the da house says:

      I try to curse in Russian at least once a day. It just feels good. Say hello to your brother.

      1. avatar JaxD says:

        Russian cursing just flows so much better. Yob twayu mat, eedie na huy, sooka, blayt. Just rolls off the tongue. I’ll send him your greeting. Hope you’re liking the CA scene. Come to Fl for some gun fun.

        1. avatar Brooklyn the da house says:

          Cali is getting better with carry right around the corner. We were actually just talking about going to FL in the next few months if we dont visit fam in BK.

        2. avatar JaxD says:

          If you’re passing through Jax, come on by.

        3. avatar Brooklyn the da house says:

          Sounds good.
          Can one of the admins pass on our emails please.

        4. avatar ropingdown says:

          You’re clearly the guys who can tell me: I’ve been following Putin’s explanations of ‘legitimate protection of the rights of Russians in Crimea.’ Doesn’t this imply Brighton Beach is subject to some Morskoi Poxota help in the near future?

        5. avatar JaxD says:

          The Brighton Beach I grew up in was populated by Russian Jewish refugees. I have relatives in Kiev and Kharkov, they’re in a dire situation, but both sides of this “revolution” can burn in hell for all I care.

  5. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    Walk, run, drive away if possible. If not punch him in the throat, it will be all over, maybe permanently.

    1. avatar JaxD says:

      Did you learn your fighting techniques from the fat chick in Identity Thief?

      1. avatar Randy Drescher says:

        No, my 9th degree Grandmaster & yours?

        1. avatar JaxD says:

          Take it easy Randy, it was a joke. BTW, 9mm beats 9th degree grandmaster flash every time.

        2. avatar Randy Drescher says:

          & 45 beats your 9mm Jax.

        3. avatar JaxD says:

          Oh, you trumped me there. What can I say? Oh yeah, .50AE beats puny .45, plus .45 is so slow, I can just step out of the way.

        4. avatar Randy Drescher says:

          No Jax,you felt that breaking someones windpipe was an ineffective technique. I’m still waiting to hear about your expertise when you can’t get your gun out in time? Make it good now.

        5. avatar JaxD says:

          Goodnight Randy. EAD.

        6. avatar Aaron says:

          good high school wrestler or 6 months of BJJ beats 9 degree grandmaster with his fancy “throat punch”.

          any martial art technique guaranteed to end a fight permanently is phony. period.

        7. avatar PavePusher says:

          Lighten up, Francis.

      2. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

        Liam Neeson’s character delivers a wicked bladed hand strike to a guy’s throat in “Taken”, which seemed to work well. You’d be surprised, it doesn’t take much force, certainly not a haymaker, to inflict quite an effective blow to some of the soft tissue areas like the throat or eyes.

        1. avatar JaxD says:

          Yup, good flic. But much funnier in Identity Thief. It’s her trademark move, she does it throughout the movie. Like I said, it was a joke.

        2. avatar Aaron says:

          Taken was a movie, by the way. Not exactly a documentary on fighting skills.

    2. avatar Templar says:

      Bullshido alert. Throat punching is not an effective technique. I can virtually guarantee you that you’ve never done this at full force in training, so you’re dabbling in theoreticals. You’re better off running away, punching to the face, shooting a takedown, or getting in the Thai clinch and blasting away with knees. These are all things I know I can do at 100% resistance since that is the training methodology I’ve used. Bjj/mma if you’re curious.

      1. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

        “You’re better off running away”

        No argument there.

        “punching to the face…”

        Punching closed fist when you are on the mat and have gloves is all well and good, very effective. When it’s bare handed and your adrenaline is surging, be prepared to break your hand. I’ve broken my hand from stupid ass fights enough to know that open strikes are the way to go. Not as powerful, but then you don’t have to put all your eggs in the “one hit and quit” basket if your hand gets all jacked up.

        “shooting a takedown”

        Great on the mat, great when you know it’s a guaranteed one on one fight, and great when you know he doesn’t have a knife in his pocket. But, that not a good idea in situation like this, anything other than full mount (and still maybe than) and he can reach for a knife and stab you. What if he has buddies around that decided to jump in, on the ground is not where you want to be. You want to be able to get away, like you should have done to began with.

        “getting in the Thai clinch and blasting away with knees.”

        All I have to say about the clinch, one guy tried it on me in a real fight, as soon his head got close enough to mine, I head butted him in the face, and his clinch idea quickly shifted to taking me to the ground. Clinches are great when there’s a ref and rule book, none apply in street fighting.

        Now I’m not saying none of this won’t work, it can. I’ve taking BJJ and Kickboxing, but I’ve also lost some street fights and I’ve won some- the streets fight were nothing the like the fights on the mat. No ref, no warm up, no rules, possible weapons, possible buddies willing to jump in, no gloves, etc.

        Your best bet is to just stay out of fights or throw quick, open hand strikes to get the person off you so you get out of there.

        Just my 2 cents.

        1. avatar Aaron says:

          stay out of fights – that’s great advice.

          double leg takedown to slam on concrete and then run away – there’s a BJJ or wrestling move with real-world effectiveness.

        2. avatar RockOnHellChild says:

          Anyone who has even been slammed would agree, it f*cking sucks!

          If you can do a good double leg sweep, even a half ass slam can be very effective.

          Mentally and physically, if you’re not used to someone picking you up and throwing you, it’s quite hard to deal with and very demoralizing.

      2. avatar Duke of Sharon says:

        Well, a gas pedal to the floor, even in a Yugo, generates more foot pounds of energy than a throat punch, 9mm, and .45ACP all at the same time.

        As the accused’s attorney the easiest explanation for why it’s not murder would be “My client was trying to flee the scene, he thought he’d put the car in reverse before he stomped on the gas, but, you know, with Boris waving that gun around, he was stressed and he made a mistake; no intent to kill what so ever. And that’s why the top half of Boris was on the hood of the Porsche, while his bottom half was under my client’s car.”

        I’ll take that over–he shot (or punched) to kill, but it was self defense–any day.

      3. avatar Aaron says:

        throat punching MIGHT be a great technique, IF you can get your opponent to raise his chin and stand still so you can land one.

        in the real world, not so much.

      4. avatar Aaron says:

        bullshido…succinct and accurate descriptive term for “Grandmaster Flash’s 27th Degree Blackbelt Strip Mall Kung Fu”

        1. avatar JaxD says:

          But, but, but, what if he’s backed up by the furious five AND wheels of steel?

        2. avatar Aaron says:

          Yeah Jax, but the Furious Five are now singing backup for Kung Fu Panda

      5. avatar Randy Drescher says:

        Your training sounds lacking & you have no idea what mine was like.

    3. avatar Aaron says:

      There is no “one punch” that guarantees anything. if there was, every UFC match would be a contest to see who could land one punch to the throat.

  6. avatar Coe says:

    My driving skillz are worse than my fighting (armed or un-armed) and I run as fast as a casual jogger so fleeing in my case either gets someone else hurt or give the attacker my back essentially…

    Nonetheless, that guy has abysmal reaction time and poor decision making skillz (then again, my adrenaline won’t be kicking in anytime soon behind a keyboard). Did Terminator get arrested?

    1. avatar JaxD says:

      Doubt it. Little guy threatened to call the cops, big told him to go for it. Women kept telling them to calm down.

  7. avatar C says:

    What is it with Slavs and dashcams? Also, a pretty safe bet that if you see a Porsche in that part of the world, the driver is a member of organized crime (government or otherwise).

    1. avatar Freeheel says:

      Dash cams are super popular in the FSU secondary to so much fraud, corruption and the like. The bonus was the great asteroid footage a few months ago. The cams are cheap enough now that I have considered putting one in. The nice part about having your own camera is that you control the distribution of the data.

    2. avatar Vhyrus says:

      In Eastern Europe, insurance fraud is rampant, and the only way to win in court is video evidence. As a result, basically everyone with a car worth more than a video camera has a dashcam, in case someone bashes your car and tries to claim it was your fault.

      1. avatar C says:

        Ah, that stands to reason.

    3. avatar steve says:

      My very first thought was Russian mob (Porsche and a piece). After 2 years in Europe, I have heard the Russian mob’s named used in situations like this.

  8. avatar Anmut says:

    Rule #1 – don’t put yourself into positions to get into a battle. This guy failed at that miserably. Rule #2 – carry a gun at all times legally possible. Rule #3 – escape escape escape – do NOT provoke or escalate. Rule #4 – if escape isn’t possible for you or others – use your gun to stop the threat.

    1. avatar Al says:

      Option #2 impossible in Russia.

      1. avatar Larry says:

        Aw, sure it is. He just forgot “and most times when it’s not.”

  9. avatar Hannibal says:

    “Is there a condition above condition red? ”

    Brown.

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      I was going to go with the correct color code.
      But yours is so full of win.

  10. avatar jwm says:

    If this is Russia then it’s just about legally impossible to own or carry a handgun. What was up with the tail lights on the white car? They looked like they were strobing like an unmarked cop car. maybe goliath is a cop?

    1. avatar Brooklyn the da house says:

      Gangster. When the women in the car says please calm down, Big boy tells him he will F him in the mouth, his mother and his whole family. Its very civilized there.

    2. avatar Hannibal says:

      A lot of connected people in russia run around with emergency lights so they can do whatever they want in traffic.

    3. avatar Aaron says:

      Cop driving a Panamera? Not likely.

  11. avatar Spider Elliott says:

    I once had an experience similar to this when I was lost in a not-too-good area of Seattle. since I was on the left lane and the other driver was on the right, I took the first left turn I could find when I realized I was the target.

    What amazed be was that the road rager was driving a school bus. With a bus-full of children.

    I guess goblins know no bounds.

    1. avatar Jeff says:

      let me guess, Rainier Beach?

  12. avatar Maineuh says:

    A taut thriller/ The season’s most gripping joy ride. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish you knew Russian.

  13. avatar RKBA says:

    FU.K Russia.

  14. avatar ck says:

    Blank “fake” guns are rampant in FSU/post soviet countries. Although I don’t want to be in a situation to find out. I had a bad experience in Kyiv once where a guy pointed a “blank” gun at me. The strobe effect may be LED taillights that show up as blinking on video. If he was a cop, he must be beyond corrupt to afford a vehicle that cost over 200K in Russia.

  15. avatar Tommy Knocker says:

    Is there a way to draw conclusions about Putin and the Crimera from this incident?

    1. avatar ropingdown says:

      Yes. Brighton Beach is next.

      1. avatar JaxD says:

        Then West LA, Philly, Dallas, Charlotte, Miami, and others. Putin will be cakewalking across the rest of the country if he’s allowed to.

        1. avatar ropingdown says:

          JaxD, our vacation house is in Spain, on the south coast. For more than 28 years we’ve been going there, and I’ve been driving into Marbella to play tennis. It was almost entirely British and German in the early years. Now? Billboards on the highway in Russian. Marbella Club and Puente Romano? Russian owned. At the end of my street in my town? Some Russians. Rowdy Russians. It is as if, over the last fifteen years, the coast was a training exercise for Ukraine. Hope your relatives are not too hard hit by the tensions, but if I lived in Donetsk, Kharkov, even Dnepropetrovsk, I’d be worried. I speak awful Russian, can’t curse properly, and haven’t been there much since the Breshnev era.

        2. avatar JaxD says:

          My mom has Russian friends that live in Denmark, and also had a vacation house in Spain. They sold it when the what we call “New Russians” moved in. The post USSR Russians are a different breed.
          The relatives are old now, they thought life would be better after 1991. They were wrong, sadly too late for them to immigrate. We were planning a trip this spring to visit. That has been put on hold. We left when I was 7, I want to see them before they’re gone. Hope this calms down before they’re gone.

        3. avatar ropingdown says:

          I hope you get to make your pilgrimage to the old ones in time.

        4. avatar JaxD says:

          Thank you Ropingdown. I hope to do it soon, we’re not getting any younger.

  16. avatar Adub says:

    So did the guy die? Or was he just wounded? Whatever the guy in the Porsche did, chasing him down and getting out was the wrong move.

    1. avatar Templar says:

      Wondering about this too, since it sounded like their was a discharge

  17. avatar Sixpack70 says:

    Don’t let a moment of bravery ruin you forever.

  18. avatar Aaron says:

    My understanding is that in Russia, handguns are illegal for civilians to own. However, civilians can own psuedo handguns that fire rubber bullets. Someone chime in if that is incorrect. So the Panamera driver was either carrying a psuedo gun, or he was a mafioso who doesn’t give f***-all about gun laws, ’cause he certainly wasn’t a cop with that car.

    Also, dash-cams are common in order to protect citizens from corrupt cops demanding bribes.

    Anyway, too bad the driver wasn’t driving a 20 year old US full-size 4×4 pickup with a big metal brush guard. Instead of stopping and getting out, he could have just shoved the Panamera out of his way and off the road. Well, maybe that isn’t such a good idea since the Panamera was probably being driven by a Russian mafioso.

  19. avatar Kyle says:

    You could also try kicking the guy in the groin?

    1. avatar Aaron says:

      you can try it, and it might work. but it might not, and then what?

      probably would have been better NOT to get out of your car and yell at a Russian mafioso.

  20. avatar Kyle says:

    There seem to be a lot of newer cars in this video. That must be a more well-to-do area of Russia, as from what I have heard, Russia is extremely poor. But that video could easily have been taken in a rural area of the United States appearance-wise. I see ordinary-looking homes and no Ladas or anything.

  21. avatar Salvatore says:

    Simple, really. If you are an armed responsible citizen then stay in your car and smile, do not escalate the situation. If you can drive away safely, do so. If not and he gets out and gets aggressive, call the police. If he produces a weapon or bashes through your window, nutralize him. It is that simple.

  22. avatar Paul B says:

    Nose and Nuts. Bleeding nose takes some fight out and most guys can’t take one good front kick to the nuts.

    Another good one is side kick to the knee, preferably to the side.

    Fighting is about staying alive. Use the dirtiest tricks you know as fast as you can. there are no medals in a street fight. Once your opponent is distracted by pain, leave.

    1. avatar Aaron says:

      anything one fool can do, another can do.

      so what’s to keep the big Russian mafioso from doing those exact same techniques on you?

  23. avatar Col. Angus says:

    Video removed.

    In Russia, video removes you!

  24. avatar Danny Griffin says:

    No video. ???

  25. avatar Out_Fang_Thief says:

    Miss a day at TTAG and you miss a lot. Just from the comments, I want to see this video. Gigantor huh?

    1. avatar Aaron says:

      Giant compared to the other guy, anyway. But he wasn’t like Nikolai Valuev or anything.

  26. avatar Proverbs says:

    Some very ridiculous comments above regarding fighting from either martial-artist-wannabes, or from masters of bushido.

    I’ve learned to value real life-saving skills in these situations, such as Kung-Run. If that doesn’t work, you can fall back on Kung-Gun.

    Avoidance is best.

    1. avatar Aaron says:

      ridiculous fighting claims, you say?! Nonsense! The documentary film “Roadhouse” clearly demonstrated how to rip a man’s heart out of his chest! That’s what the driver should have done!

      1. avatar Larry says:

        Yeah, huh! Try to tell us THAT won’t work!

  27. avatar RenegadeDave says:

    TTAG to back up videos prior to linking them so they don’t get removed.

    Rabble rabble rabble

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