“How ironic to use guns to lure men in to hear a message about Jesus, who said, ‘Put away the sword.’” So sayeth the Rev. Joe Phelps, pastor of Louisville’s independent Highland Baptist Church. “’Second Amendment Celebrations’ in church make a ‘travesty’ of that message. How terrible it would be if one of those guns given away at a church were to cause the death of an innocent victim.” So sayeth Nancy Jo Kemper, pastor of New Union Church in Versailles and the former director of the Kentucky Council of Churches. Evangelical Chuck McAlister understands that some people have a problem with giving away guns at churches, “given the misuse of guns and our moral decline.” But, he said, “we certainly don’t advocate violence. We are advocating guns for hunting and protection only.” Amen. Besides, if you don’t have a gun to cling to, you’re only half the man Barack Obama wants you to be.

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40 Responses to OMG! Jesus Freaks Give Away Guns! OMG!

  1. I’m no theologian, but I do remember something along the lines of: “sell-your-cloak-and-get-a-sword” ….

    • Of the four books, Mathew, Mark, Luke and John; only Luke has Jesus speak to selling your cloak to get a sword at the last supper; however; the other three books are in agreement and speak to how at least two of the apostles carried swords during christs’ ministry. And swords were not used for cutting bread or chopping firewood; they were used for one thing.

      Actions speak louder than words; I believe if Christ had been alive today; two of the apostles would have been carrying handguns. and once he was ascended; he would advise all the apostles to get at least a handgun. Christ was a peaceful man. not a pacifist.

      • And if you really want to bring irony into the mix, how about the fact that the one gospel writer recording christ advocating violence was in fact, a physician?
        Although to be fair, Matthew has jesus making a whip to deal with corrupt merchants. Either way, we run into conflict with the concept of what I like to call hippie jesus, a favorite bargaining chip of folks trying to convince you that your theology is bad and you should feel bad.

        • Yep; the classic pick the one phrase that supports your belief and ignore the entire book that directly contradicts your stated belief. Like turn the other cheek, but ignore that like you said; when Jesus drives out the corrupt money changers with a whip.

        • If Jesus were around today, he’d be using that whip to smack around corporate thieves and bank CEOs instead of money changers… LOL.

        • If Jesus were alive today, for some reason I imagine him looking like Indiana Jones. Idk, maybe it’s just the whip

  2. Bible verses are kind of like the Bill of Rights in that certain people tend to ignore or object to the ones they don’t like or that don’t support their ideology. In other news, guns cause the death of innocent victims – again. Thanks Nancy Jo.

    • Ignoring verses is one thing, but the people who quote the Bible as being against the right to keep and bear arms pretty much ignore the entire first half….

      • Maybe they should have listened to Jesus’s brother: “For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.” Course I think he was talking about giving elite people special treatment. Which works too.

  3. I saw Chuck speak at Franklin First Baptist in Franklin, KY this past Saturday night. A wild game supper preceded his talk. Over 1,000 people heard his stories about life, growing up in the outdoors and about his relationship with Jesus Christ. It was a great evening with great food and twenty lucky folks won a gun!

  4. “If a thief is caught in the act of breaking into a house and is struck and killed in the process, the person who killed the thief is not guilty of murder.” Exodus 22:1

    “But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into.” Matthew 24:43

    so yes, the Bible does agree with defending yourself and property.

    • Not to mention purim in Esther, which also has interesting implications for the subject of defending against tyranny

  5. “Chuck McAlister, who is the KY Baptist Conventions team leader for evangelism, said 1,678 men made “professions of faith” at about 50 events last year. In Louisville in January, more than 500 people showed up for a gun giveaway at Highview Baptist Church, and 61 of them made decisions to seek salvation.” (Source)

    Hey, if it works, who am I to judge?

  6. I just thought this was too normal a thing to make TTAG. I may still have one of the promotional posters for the event out in my car.

  7. We used to have a priest who would take 10 days off each year just for deer hunting. Only vacation he’d take. Now we have a couple of brothers who are priests and they take a couple weeks off to go elk hunting. They’re in the their mid 20’s. We also have a special hunter’s mass on Saturday nights thru out deer season. The whole church is a sea of blaze orange.

  8. My church did a gun raffle several times last year, everyone loved it.

    First one was for a full size XD40, I stayed out of that one, didn’t want to win it by accident.

    Then other two were for a lever gun and bolt gun with scope, raised a bunch of money for kids sporting events.

    OMG! Church, kids, guns, raffles, sports, money, WIN!?!?

    What’s the world coming to?!?!

      • I don’t know…

        I picture God as a stainless, 6 inch barrel .357 mag guy, myself.

        Something you can whack a dude in the head with the barrel, if need be.

        • God’s gun is obviously a GI model 1911 chambered in .45 as given to us by his prophet John Moses Browning.

          “And verily I say unto thee, any man that conspires to carry upon his body a weapon which is fed with lead the thickness of only 9 mustard seeds, shall be considered no better than an European in the eyes of the Lord.”

      • He carries a crossbow, and his bolt is lightning.
        A technological advancement over Zeus, who used to just hurl them.

  9. Uh, I believe the politically correct term is “Born Again Christian”. No offense taken, Brother Robert.

  10. Wow…my church is pretty pro-gun but nothing like this. I love it. Speaking of “muscular Christianity” various incarnations of the Power Team usually bring in huge crowds of the unchurched. Whatever works.

  11. When they ask you “What Would Jesus Do?” remind them that flipping over tables and chasing people with a whip is not outside the realm of possibilities.

  12. “How terrible it would be if one of those guns given away at a church were to cause the death of an innocent victim.”

    “How wonderful it would be if one of those guns given away at a church were to save the life of an innocent victim.”

    Both are possibilities Ms. Kemper. Too bad you default to the negative.

  13. Method changes, but the Message remains the same. Just as most churches have realized that casual dress and modern music are good because it draws a younger crowd, things like gun raffles can attract people who normally spend their Sunday mornings elsewhere. I think Jesus would have used popular music and amplification if they were popular in his day. Some Christians may say this is “shallow”. I say it’s using the right bait to hook ’em, dunk ’em, and then get them in the deeper(spiritual) water. As for the God/self-defense thing, see my book: “A Time To Kill: The Myth Of Christian Pacifism.”

  14. Has anyone tracked the cars that Oprah gave away, to see if any innocent victim has been killed in or by any of them?

  15. What if a person died of food poisoning at one of the “hippy” church soup suppers. Oh the horror! Of course we would then have to ban large capacity soup bowls and say 100 hail Marys.

    What if the money the church gave to the poor, went to buy money, that bought a knife, that stabbed a person in a mugging? I can do this all day.

    My pastor is armed and proud of it.

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