“Editor’s note: This article has been updated with additional comments and clarifications from Redondo Beach Police Department spokesman Sgt. Shawn Freeman.” That heads-up from redondo.beach.patch.com, sitting just below the headline Assault Rifle Discovery Leads to Evacuation, tells us we’re in for a classic OMG. The copy does not disappoint. “An assault rifle that caused the evacuation of several homes in South Redondo Beach on Thursday morning belonged to a member of a federal law enforcement agency under the Homeland Security umbrella, according to a spokesman for the Redondo Beach Police Department.” Did I lie? The cops evacuated “several” homes in one of America’s most expensive communities because of an “assault rifle” that was “lost” by an unnamed cop from an unnamed federal agency. I know you can read, but I’m in love. OK, the deets . . .
Police evacuated multiple residences in the 400 block of North Broadway after a neighbor inadvertently brought home the government-issued assault rifle, said Sgt. Shawn Freeman.
The resident found a case that looked like a carrying case for a musical instrument in the open area near Broadway and Vincent Street, and brought it home to the 400 block of North Broadway to open it, Sgt. Edward Jackson told Patch.
“When they opened it up, it had an assault rifle in it,” Jackson said.
Police received a call about the rifle at 8:12 a.m., according to Freeman.
At which point all hell broke loose: SWAT team, bomb squad, the works.
Because police didn’t know if explosives were also in the unusual carrying case, officers evacuated surrounding residences as a precaution and called the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department Bomb Squad, Freeman said.
The bomb squad ultimately determined that the package was exactly what it appeared to be once it was opened: a rifle in a case, Jackson said.
This sequence of events occurred because A) the guy who opened the rifle case was a non-gun owning Californian (obvs) which means he couldn’t possibly tell if the case contained a bomb (a bomb!) as well as a rifle, B) terrorists often pack explosives in a rifle case (right next to the rifle), and C) no one ever loses a rifle in rifle case (so it must be terrorist plot). Only . . . a cop lost a rifle in a rifle case.
Odds are we’ll never know which LEO abandoned his or her “assault rifle” causing the expenditure of several thousand dollars in police overtime. In any case (so to speak), this could well be the most perfect OMG to date. So you know it has to end with a “kicker.”
Police confiscated the rifle, and traced its owner, Freeman said. Investigators will determine if the rifle was accidentally left out or if it was stolen from a vehicle once they’ve interviewed the owner.
The resident who found the gun will not face charges, Jackson said.
I wonder how much time the resident spent in the prone position and how his dog escaped the inevitable . . .